John Mayer Hates Jennifer Aniston's Dog Friends
Most dog owners have a rule that if you don't become BFFs with their dog(s), then the fuck party must come to an end. It doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston is one of those dog owners. Gatecrasher says that Jenny did not bring her dogs, Norman and Dolly, to NYC while she promotes Marley & Me, because John Mayer would probably strangle or curse them out. He apparently hates hates haaaates them. So Jenny left them in Los Angeles, probably because she's dickmatized. And when you're dickmatized, the dick rules all.
A source said that John even hated Jessica's Simpson's angel of a dog Daisy. There's a special place in the toilet closet in hell for people who hate Daisy Simpson.
Jenny's spokeswhore said the story is made of a million lies, but I believe it. John Mayer probably farts at anything that takes the attention anyway from him. When Jennifer brushes her teeth, he totally yells at her fucking toothbrush. He's gross.
As a dog owner, I've never met a dude who didn't like my dog. It's mostly been the other way around. They like my dog better than they like me. They come over to hang out with my dog and leave me in the fucking corner like I'm a damn fern. My dog knows it too. He gives me looks like "Yeah, bitch. I got yo man!"
I honestly don't think I'd ever find a dude who liked me but didn't like my dog. I mean, my dog and me are so much alike. We both are stupid lazy sluts who love bacon and are easily amused by rubber toys. If you don't like him, you don't like me.
ShareThis
Looks like they're coming out of the loo (see restroom sign in background). Please don't tell me Jen is desperate enough and willing enough to hold his pee-pee-peener when he takes a tinkle?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Thornhill on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:52pm.
Hershey Kisses to you Thorny! Good to see you!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 9:13pm.
Every morning. I'm convinced that's the best thing to wake up and see. Of course, if I ever got the chance to wake up and see Jared Leto ass up and ready I might have to reconsider. But fuck. I'd bounce his hot ass to the curb if he hated my girls.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
angel / Diego,
If you have never seen a Pit smile at you, you have never lived. Period.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
You simply cant trust a man that doesn't like dogs. And you can't trust a woman that doesn't give head. They are a match made in heaven...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
At least, Mayoron doesn't have deal with Douche Daddy like his earlier blond conquest.
************************************************
My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
************************************************
Hekki!
Glad that I could give ya a giggle. My Dad died a UAW Ford man, my brother is an Army lifer and my other brother is a retired Marine. Some fucker calls me out on being loyal, I will answer. (that was a very Dun Dun Dunnnnn moment!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
...why is she so desperate?....someone who hates your dogs???.....that's like dating a pedophile and looking the other way....
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 9:04pm.
My girl will tolerate anything. It's unbelievable. Her sisters are small and she just lets them climb all over her and bite her ears and her tail and lick her face. I think she likes it, but I'd totally understand if she felt the need to take one to school one day. I am always stopping them even though one of the trainers I know tells me she'll let them know when she's had enough.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:48pm.
Submitted by mahaatma on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:38pm.
...rip him a new ass hole Sock-Monkey!!!...
~~~~~~~~~~~
Grrrr...and after I stomp it, I'm gonna feed it to TigerLilly with some fava beans and a nice chianti....and of course, a sprig of catnip on the side..cause I'm klassy that way!
I'm sooooooo happy to see you, Mahaatma!
**********************************************
Mmmm...stomped douche meat a la Mayernaise....Mmmmm and a good Chianti...yeah, you can hold those fava beans or whatever those vegetablly things are, but could I have a side of au jus? Yeah, I prefer Summer's Eve but Massengill will do in a pinch...
Seriously, anyone who would fuck, let alone date John Mayer has lost ALL of my respect. If you lose your furry friends in order to keep this fucking ass nugget, you forfeit your right to live, period. Seriously, this fuckery makes me have sympathy for Bradley...Team Brad!
Oh fuck is Brangieloonism around the corner for me?????
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Lately, every picture of Mayer with Aniston he's wearing his "how the fuck did I get into this?" face.
Why is she always pictured out in front of him leading him around? And why does he always look like he would rather be somewhere else? Any fool can see that this guy is NOT into her.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 9:00pm.
Hmmmm...I tend to believe that there are no 'bad' dogs...Bad/Ignorant/Lazy owners.
Little dogs are the worst because their owners do not get that uncontrolled barking/growling is bad. When they are little, it's 'cute'. A Pom will get away with lunging at you 110x's more than a rott.
***********************************
Yeap. My pittie got bit by a few little doggies. He'd just grab them and hold them down. He was waiting for them to relax but needless to say it always ended in a lot of running and yelping. (he never hurt them - and I had a release command, thank GAWD! cuz it freaked people (and the little doggie) right out;\)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Hmmmm...I tend to believe that there are no 'bad' dogs...Bad/Ignorant/Lazy owners.
Little dogs are the worst because their owners do not get that uncontrolled barking/growling is bad. When they are little, it's 'cute'. A Pom will get away with lunging at you 110x's more than a rott.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
Uh, no. Love me, love my dogs or get the fuck out. I am a package deal with my girls. I've seen a lot of stories in rescue where one of the people in a relationship doesn't like the pet so the pet ends up homeless. And it gets even worse because some of them actually abuse the animals. You'd just have to write me in prison because I'd fuck a bitch up for hurting one of my girls.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
...Joe!....high five!...
....and good to see you all by the way!....someone must do the snarking that the world needs and nobody does it better than y'all!...
....carry on my Dlisted soldiers!...
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:45pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:40pm.
Ba-DUM! But I seriously think Mayer gets all cagey when it comes to meeting parents, friends, children of his hos.
**********************************
I agree. Assholes are like that cuz they know that there are some radars that won't miss it:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Any man who doesn't like dogs won't get a second chance with me.
********
Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Anyone ho that lets a man come between her and her furry friend must go. Unless the furry friend is in her pants. Then it's toootally O.K.
Alright...that was kinda lame.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:41pm.
James, I was in Ibiza for almost a whole week in November. I'm still in recovery mode. Cut me some slack.
Submitted by Madam Pince on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:49pm.
I briefly dated a fucktard who revealed these two facts in one night:
1) He put wall-to-wall beige carpet over lovely finished hardwood
2) He didn't like my dogs
Fucktard met the curb in record time.
(It didn't help that he was also rude to waitresses.)
**********
Wow. You just listed the 3 things that would turn me off someone in about 10 seconds flat.
************
The French say that the best part of an affair is going up the stairs. Desire is almost always more thrilling than fulfillment.
...why do I think Brad would have adopted 100 dogs if Jen was putting out the good stuff?....
eugh! he's so unattractive! I'd stick with the dogs and ditch the creep!
@James..Peace and goodwill my friend,,
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Madam Pince,
Ewww... all around.
Submitted by mahaatma on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:43pm.
*********
Hi Mahaatma!!! How are ya' Luv?
************
The French say that the best part of an affair is going up the stairs. Desire is almost always more thrilling than fulfillment.
I briefly dated a fucktard who revealed these two facts in one night:
1) He put wall-to-wall beige carpet over lovely finished hardwood
2) He didn't like my dogs
Fucktard met the curb in record time.
(It didn't help that he was also rude to waitresses.)
***********************************************************
"The other night, I was so wasted and I decided to play this video in several browser windows at the same time. Don't do that. It's like opening up the portal to the dark world."
http://dum
Submitted by mahaatma on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:38pm.
...rip him a new ass hole Sock-Monkey!!!...
~~~~~~~~~~~
Grrrr...and after I stomp it, I'm gonna feed it to TigerLilly with some fava beans and a nice chianti....and of course, a sprig of catnip on the side..cause I'm klassy that way!
I'm sooooooo happy to see you, Mahaatma!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
You had better treat my dogs like they are your damn kids or there is no hope for us. Plus, they sleep in the bed.
I've found that even guys who claim they are staunchly against such things adapt to it very, very quickly. And I agree... if a person doesn't like animals I'm not going to like that person.
James Haven!!!
Honey, even you can't fix Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld. Jessica is one ugly bitch.
***********************************************************
"The other night, I was so wasted and I decided to play this video in several browser windows at the same time. Don't do that. It's like opening up the portal to the dark world."
http://dum
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:40pm.
Ba-DUM! But I seriously think Mayer gets all cagey when it comes to meeting parents, friends, children of his hos.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
James Haven!!!! *Christmas SMooo000ooches*
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:38pm.
Socky! SmOOches & more SmOOches!
James Haven has to run...his next makeover has arrived. Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld. You can't make her wait or she starts throwing things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*dreamy sigh* James Haven! *slowly sliding down side of hamper* James Haven..............*dreamy sigh*
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
@ James Haven
...don't piss off Jessica Seinfeld - you know how those spinach candy canes can stain!...
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:41pm.
SmOOches dollface!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:34pm.
You raise a good point. Just like people are a-holes, so can their pets be.
In my landscape design/gardening biz, I meet lots of people anf lots of dogs and cats. I love animals. And I can honestly say I've established great rapports with almost all of them.
One of my oldest clients, though, has a hyper, yappy little ankle-biter that I just don't like. There's no engaging him. The fact that they let this dog shit all over the back yard and don't clean it up doesn't endear me to him much either!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
She should have just paid for a good-looking escort in NY. All the same benes sans "pee-pee times" (thanks, Dee) and no mopey face. She could bring her dogs, too.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:26pm.
A rut? You? a handsome chap such as yourself should not be in a rut! You should be on an Island sipping a Marquerita with a chesty blonde named Ingrid!
Happy Holidays!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
James Haven! *smooch!* It's the holidays after all:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:37pm.
ON TOPIC: I wonder if Mayer has even met Jen's parents
******************************
Pay attention, Deb! MK just said he doesn't like her dogs..Norman and Dolly!
(heheh. that was mean:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:27pm.
Thanks Deb good to see you too! SmOOches!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:33pm.
Socky! SmOOches & more SmOOches!
James Haven has to run...his next makeover has arrived. Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld. You can't make her wait or she starts throwing things.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
...rip him a new ass hole Sock-Monkey!!!...
...can you imagine how he feels about Sock-Monkeys if he's a dog hater?!....
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:33pm.
Don't ya know that at Christmas Borders is filled with cheap big purty books with lots of pretty pichurs in 'em.
ON TOPIC: I wonder if Mayer has even met Jen's parents.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Clarisse: "The fat fuck side eyes me and says "Uh, you're in America"....I looked at them and said "UH, fat fuck, you're driving a Toyota."
Now everyone wants to know why I'm laughing so hard. You rock, Clarisse!
Now, I detest John Mayer even more! Jennifer needs to listen to her dogs......this shit speaks volumes!!!!
@D.R.: Elvie!:
http://dlisted.com/node/29622
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
I love dogs, but I have met a few that were deal-breakers.
My sister's ex had the most lovable, mellow, human-like dog (he was a mutt). Everyone loved that dog. Everyone. He was cool as hell. I cried at my desk like a baby when my sister told me they had to put him down.
Then they adopted a beautiful-looking dog who was a neurotic, unpleasant asshole. He didn't like ANYONE. He barked and acted like a little bitch and was a totally passive-aggressive nutjob. If *I* had been going out with him, I would have had a hard time sticking it out with that asshole dog.
Dogs are like people. And dogs are like their people, too. If a person is cool, their dog usually is, too. Maybe it's not John Mayer that's the problem here.
He doesn't like puppies?! Fuck! Given a chance, I'd stomp on his 'bubblegum tongue.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Deb!
LOL! I guess I imagined the Borders crowd wouldn't carry guns, but then again, maybe they was just getting "the readers" a gift card.
Duly noted!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.