John Mayer Hates Jennifer Aniston's Dog Friends
Most dog owners have a rule that if you don't become BFFs with their dog(s), then the fuck party must come to an end. It doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston is one of those dog owners. Gatecrasher says that Jenny did not bring her dogs, Norman and Dolly, to NYC while she promotes Marley & Me, because John Mayer would probably strangle or curse them out. He apparently hates hates haaaates them. So Jenny left them in Los Angeles, probably because she's dickmatized. And when you're dickmatized, the dick rules all.
A source said that John even hated Jessica's Simpson's angel of a dog Daisy. There's a special place in the toilet closet in hell for people who hate Daisy Simpson.
Jenny's spokeswhore said the story is made of a million lies, but I believe it. John Mayer probably farts at anything that takes the attention anyway from him. When Jennifer brushes her teeth, he totally yells at her fucking toothbrush. He's gross.
As a dog owner, I've never met a dude who didn't like my dog. It's mostly been the other way around. They like my dog better than they like me. They come over to hang out with my dog and leave me in the fucking corner like I'm a damn fern. My dog knows it too. He gives me looks like "Yeah, bitch. I got yo man!"
I honestly don't think I'd ever find a dude who liked me but didn't like my dog. I mean, my dog and me are so much alike. We both are stupid lazy sluts who love bacon and are easily amused by rubber toys. If you don't like him, you don't like me.
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:37am.
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Thanks hunny.I prolly can't jerk off ever again.blecky.
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:33am.
I rode back from New Orleans with 2 50 year old Texans while doing animal rescue. They must have played that song 30 times, and I still have nightmares about rednecks and what they were thinking of doing with her lumps.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
He should put the Victoria's Secret Shimmering body lotion underneath his eyes to deflect from his perpetual dark circles.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:31am.
sssshhh, I'm hoping that her standards keep lowering so that I'm next.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:29am.
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gooooooooooogle the * incredibly horrible* "words" to that "song"/
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
YO, JEN! RUN BITCH RUN!!! WHY U WASTING THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON THIS FUCKING DOUCHE? WELL, GUESS WHAT? DOUCHES ARE FOR ONE PURPOSE AND ONE PURPOSE ONLY: MAKE YOU FEEL SUMZING DOWN THERE, KAPUT! THE END! EL FIN! SO DUMP THAT FUCKHEAD BEFORE HE PUTS YOUR FUCKING DOGS IN THE OVEN AND STEALS YOUR VICTORIA'S SECRET SHIMMERING BODY LOTION!!!!!!!!!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:26am.
Yeah, and oddly enough, a hunchback would probably make Fergie more attractive. Couldn't hurt.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:04am.
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Need to know-
did/did not the "Black Eyed Peas" get a fucking grammy for*ha,cough* "My Humps"?
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
deck the halls with gasoline
light the match and don't be seen
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Umm, looking at Jen's GQ pics, I think I like her better too. For at least 2.5 minutes.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Lory said "clit" *giggles*
peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
JOHN MAYER FUCKING SUCKS! GREAT GUITARIST? HA! I GOT ONE WORD FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKER: SANTANA! SUCK MY CLIT YOU DUMB FUCK!!! UGH!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:10am.
That I would pay to see. Then I hope Axl Rose covers it.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:10am.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:09am.
wait, what?
*
that was a legit address?
I've been emailing you.
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:11am.
gotcha
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:08am.
One hopes he blows it right into the harmonica and gums it up once and for all.
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:09am.
wait, what?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TV, NOW ya tell me you'll pay! I'm a WHORE not a HOOKER. ;p
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Submitted by Brittny on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:00am.
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I agree... A waggly tailed, wide eyed, face-licking critter can melt your heart and folks who don't get that have something creepy to hide methinks.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:00am.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:59am.
got your message, it takes a few minutes, it's ported to my actual address. I'm a computer network engineer and stuff.
*
WHAT?
you're fucking with me.
peanuts.
:)
nervous giggle from ca.
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:05am.
I agree, Bob Dylan wins a Grammy every year, and no one has understood a word out of his mouth since 1973! If he ever blows his nose, his career is over.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:45am.
I can't understand when critics think he's talented. Being a douchebag is considered a talent? Where's my Grammy?
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A Grammy isn't worth shit anyways. For example, Johm Mayer's first Grammy was for "Your Body is A Wonderland".
99.9% of his fans are fangirls who think he can do no wrong because he is so hot.
Submitted by Brittny on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:00am.
agreed. I can totally understand people not liking John Mayer though. He sucks!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Dude. People who don't like dogs bewilder me. UNLESS they have been attacked or some shit. But people who have never been attacked or anything and hate dogs are fuckin weirdos. Dogs are so magnificent and awesome. They just want to love u and be your friend and make u happy. They are fuckin entertaining too! I have 2 dogs and they are truly mans best friend.
Dogs are sweet! john mayer= dead in my book. Dogs own.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:59am.
got your message, it takes a few minutes, it's ported to my actual address. I'm a computer network engineer and stuff.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TV= I might have fucked it up....
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by . on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:54am.
Sweet, my check for 19.95 per month is in the mail.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:52am.
It's New Jersey, we don't have trees. What rhymes with drunk tank?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
T.V. I'm sending you my cutie nudie photos. I think the trolls died off FINALLY.
Triscuit, Ohhhhh, hon. I was NEVER mad at you! I was avoiding the jerks trying to get under my dander. I'm checking my last emails for the night and hitting the hay.
Be kind. Rewind.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TV and Triscut sitting in a tree....
doing something nasty!!
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:42am.
I can't understand when critics think he's talented. Being a douchebag is considered a talent? Where's my Grammy?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:42am.
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NOT A DAMN CLUE!
for real
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Hey Douche?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:39am.
Do you MySpace?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Mayer probably doesn't like doggies because they are better judges of character than the bitches he dates.
I have no idea why so many of these women find him attractive. He's such a douchebag.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:33am.
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BIG FUCKING DEAL!
Had To ☺
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:35am.
40
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:33am.
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CUM ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 32
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:31am.
You got it.
Age= too old to stalk.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Shit, even the trolls fell asleep. The wireless card got caught on your hedges, my bad.
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I meant that,not what nationality...sorry.We must be slow typers(or just wasted) ! HA
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
OH WAIT...you mean cause you are stalkin' me?
right?
cute.
mind if I ask your age?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:28am.
Irish, Dutch, and German, so I'm bent on world domination, but too drunk to accomplish it while wearing these wooden shoes.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:28am.
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Okay ass,what does that mean?
*giggles*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:27am.
Irish-Dutch-German mutt.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:24am.
Shit, even the trolls fell asleep. The wireless card got caught on your hedges, my bad.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:23am.
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How about "Members Only" jackets and "Sans~A~belt" pants?
hey,you a DAY~GO?
I'm full bred,baby.ooouuuuhhhhh
LoL
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"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
gakl;gklfkopieoprkgll;dfk;;'lfkg
fell asleep
must need a line ☺
kidding
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 2:22am.
We also don't wear polyester jogging suits.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.