John Mayer Hates Jennifer Aniston's Dog Friends
Most dog owners have a rule that if you don't become BFFs with their dog(s), then the fuck party must come to an end. It doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston is one of those dog owners. Gatecrasher says that Jenny did not bring her dogs, Norman and Dolly, to NYC while she promotes Marley & Me, because John Mayer would probably strangle or curse them out. He apparently hates hates haaaates them. So Jenny left them in Los Angeles, probably because she's dickmatized. And when you're dickmatized, the dick rules all.
A source said that John even hated Jessica's Simpson's angel of a dog Daisy. There's a special place in the toilet closet in hell for people who hate Daisy Simpson.
Jenny's spokeswhore said the story is made of a million lies, but I believe it. John Mayer probably farts at anything that takes the attention anyway from him. When Jennifer brushes her teeth, he totally yells at her fucking toothbrush. He's gross.
As a dog owner, I've never met a dude who didn't like my dog. It's mostly been the other way around. They like my dog better than they like me. They come over to hang out with my dog and leave me in the fucking corner like I'm a damn fern. My dog knows it too. He gives me looks like "Yeah, bitch. I got yo man!"
I honestly don't think I'd ever find a dude who liked me but didn't like my dog. I mean, my dog and me are so much alike. We both are stupid lazy sluts who love bacon and are easily amused by rubber toys. If you don't like him, you don't like me.
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I made the mistake of taking a peak over at JJ. I just had to post this rant between a Jen fan and a lunatic ( what's up w/throwing the dlisters under the bus??!):
OB @ 12/26/2008 at 8:15 am C @ 12/26/2008 at 3:48 am
LOOK AT TRAMPOLINA, WHAT WAS SHE DOING BEFORE SHE STOLE JEN’S HUSBAND BRAD? SITTING AT HOME ALONE WITH THAT KOOK MADOX THAT KICKS THE BROTHERS SPINAL CORD EACH CHANCE HE GETS WHILE TRAMPOLINA ALLOWS IT.
SHE WAS SITTING AT HOME WITH MADOX PROB. CUTTING EACH OTHER WITH THE KNIVES SHE BOUGHT HIM AND FILLING UP VILES OF BLOOD TO HANG OFF THE CHRISTMAS TREE AS ORNAMENTS.
JEN IS A MUCH HEALTHIER PERSON AND SHE JUST HAD A LONG EXAUSTING RUN FOR THAT MOVIE TO PROMOTE IT AND THEN HAD A NICE CHRISTMAS EVE WITH COURTNEY AND FAMILY. IF I WAS HERE I WOULDVE WENT HOME AND SLEPT.
HER LIFE DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU PEOPLE AND WHAT U THINK OF HER OR UR MINDLESS BANTER. SHE LQQKS GREAT AND SHES HEALTHY AWAY FROM CHEATING PITT AND THE BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRE , TRAMPOLINA.
LAST YEAR THEY WENT THRU MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU FOR CHRISTMAS! YOU WANT TO MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE , THAT IS THE MOST PATHETIC. WHERE IS PITTS FAMILY? TRAMPOLINA WONT LET PITT SEE THEM UNLESS THEY GIVE 2 GALLONS OF BLOOD EACH. FREAK SHOWS!
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You evil nasty b!tch. So fcuking easy to hide behind a PC and write vile stuff about an innocent child.
You know all this is true? You were there and saw/heard it all?
No? STFU. “C” stand for C*nty? Cause that’s what you are being. Nasty evil cretin.
Brad has flourished since he woke up and saw what he was married to and left to chase Angie. Brad admitted to chasing Angie after HE LEFT JEN. Truth hurts, doesn’t it?. Brad’s career has gone from strength to strength. He has many great friends, done a great deal of good in USA and Third World Countries. 6 gorgeous kids and a real woman who loves him and lets him be himself. What has the amazing (not) JA done? Nothing unless it was to promote her latest crappy movie. Face it, she can’t act, she has no class, she’s insecure and her so called boyfriend was bought and paid for by her PR team.
The only reason JA and CC-A are friends is because they each know the others dirty little secrets and no-one else wants there b!tchy asses…
YOU ARE THE PATHETIC ONE!
No wonder Jenfans have a bad rep on blogs and gossip sites with people like you. Fcuk off back to the hole you crawled out off.. cretin. Better yet , go to DListed or FF. You’ll fit right in there. Moron
FUCK THAT! Anyone who doesn't like dogs isn't worth the time. People who don't like dogs tend to be self-centered, uptight and prissy about everything!
If anyone doesnt like my dogs, they are NOT welcome to my home. This is my dogs home and not yours. If your allergic, too bad, text me, phone me or email me. That's the way we will stay in touch. I respect others and dont bring my dogs to other peoples home but I dont stay away long cause I need to come home and tend to my babies. They are my kids, I care for my animals more than I do humans and society as a whole. Fuck animal haters, they all need to be burned like in Salem Witches days. I say if you abuse or neglect an animal you will never rest even when you are dead, you will suffer in the bottom of hell (if it exists) but there has to be a peaceful place we go (at least that's what I believe) if you've been a kind person and kind to animals all your life. Karma is a motherfucker and I love her and she doesnt ever sleep, never even shuts one eye. That bitch is on duty 24/7/365.
So all you animal haters, go fuck your moms and hopefully you will be raped by the ugliest dirtiest and disease ridden person on the face of the earth.
NEVER EVER HURT OR ABUSE OR NEGLECT AN ANIMAL. If you cant take care of yourself why the fuck are you going to go out and get an animal. You cant even fend for yourself you fucking moron. God I hate humans.
He hates dogs, and he's with her?
Okay, this just sounds not right. I think this shit is being made up by someone who goes by the initials of AJ!!! After what the NY times wrote about cuntalina, I'm just convinced she's been the one making up shit about Jen for the tabloids. Have you seen some of them this week? "Jen obsessesd with Angelina"?! Angelina has been tormenting Jen over stealing her husband the past 4 yrs, and than Jen finnally stands up for herselef, and the bitch just can't deal with it! If you can dish out out, than you better be prepared to take it back!!! Angelina and Brad are such Narcissists, they just can't take it back!!! And Angelina has no sense of humor to begin with, but when Jen made a cute harmless joke to GQ about how funny it would be if she was photographed holding Zahara and Knox, but Angelina just flips when people make jokes about her and all her kids!! I remember when George Clooney made a joke that Brad and Angelina better not bring their 15 kids to his hous in Italy when they visit, and she just had it in for him!! She pretty much came between his friendship with Brad!!! Cuntalina probably sees Jens dogs as being the equivalent of being Jens children, as well as Jens movie coming out competing with Brad's being about a dog, she probabaly thought this shit up to get back at her, and then went and dragged Jen's boyfriend into it as well!!! I know I sound like a conspiracy nut, but the New york times is not a tabloid, so to me that article about cuntalina is therefore deemed to be the truth! I mean this shit just came out of left field, It seems like Cuntalina is doing this out of revenge!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
If this is tru then Jen is a tard....hasnt she had her dogs for ages? to trade then for Mayer is so beyond dumb.
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Happy Holidays
When he first came he got a mighty dog. Then I started worrying that wasn't enough for him cause he was over 10 lbs. I think of mighty dog cans for a little chiuahua (I cannot spell that at all).
Well my dog doesn't eat till he throws up but, he does eat more than he needs. At least I know that now since he's gaining. he leaves a lot of food in the dish, I know some dogs eat like that though. My dog is eating just some extra I think. With those big cans he takes two days to eat them.....but I think even so that is still too much with treats also lol. He doesn't get those big cans everyday but I do that sometimes and also give him too many beggin strips, etc.
hahahahaha MK I love you. HILARIOUS post brutha :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Rosemary on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 8:51am.
It's my faut he's fat, I do things like let him have a whole big , one of those big cans of dog food. I always think "he'll eat what he needs", I'm finding out that's not true.
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Yeah, dude. I know my dog could easily eat until he threw up. Daily. Some dogs need to be Lifetime members at WeightWatchers.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 1:24am.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 1:17am.
They don't all smell.
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That's what she said.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It's my faut he's fat, I do things like let him have a whole big , one of those big cans of dog food. I always think "he'll eat what he needs", I'm finding out that's not true.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:26am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:04am.
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Need to know-
did/did not the "Black Eyed Peas" get a fucking grammy for*ha,cough* "My Humps"?
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And well they should have!
Music snobs!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
I realized my tibetan spaniel is getting so fat. I picked him up and he's so heavy. The average weight for one is 15 lbs and he was last weighed in at 22 lbs. Now I think hes added a lb or two. He didn't look fat before, but now he is feeling fat when i pick him up.
Whoever doesn't love dogs is a cat fucker.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
I don't trust people who don't like pets. If people come into my house and they are afraid of my little 95 lb lap dog, that's one thing...But if they don't like my dog..well my dog lives here..and it's HIS house. He is the king.
For instance, My mother-in-law hates dogs and parmesan cheese. So I rub parmesan cheese in the chair she is going to sit in before she gets there so the dog will sit near her sniffing her chair. Voila!..she doesn't come over so much anymore....
A fern in the corner, LMAO! You're so cute!
MK, where are yooooou? I'm getting tired of looking at Aniston's mug.
HB to Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam! :)
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
and I've always hated "your body is a wonderland". I like like two of his songs i'l admit. The one about running through his high school and screaming at the top of his lungs, and waiting for the world to change. Ok, I kinda like Daughters too. But I don't like these songs enough that I couldn't give them up forever, trust me.
This is only very slightly on topic, but being the season to give I thought I'd share this:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=adnYrc4yZHQ
Jennifer, thank your stars and days that this muttering simpleton is out of your life.
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The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
I don't hate Jennifer for one weekend or whatever, if she gives her dogs away or really neglects them and stops loving them, then I will.
I've picked picked my ex bf over a lot of things , friends, mother, etc. But there is no way I'd give up my dogs. NO WAY!
I love Daisy simpson btw. She is one of the cutest celeb dogs .
Michael K! You crack my shit up. Your exactly right though. Fuck Mayer. WTF is Anniston thinking? How can she date someone who doesn't love dogs. That is just fucking stupid!
Peace and love,
Marla1979
He seems too banal to hate dogs.
Jen, chuck him. Anyone who hates dogs is bad. This is a fact established by decades of research.
By the by, he is the spitting image of a bloke I worked with years ago. He lived with his mother although be was nearly 30 and he told me he had cheese and Mars bars for breakfast and his mum woke him up by throwing said items at his head. He was odd.
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The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
they look good together.
www.realitybedroom.com
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:30am.
For real, you're as fun without it!
Nite, hon!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:25am.
You should se me with the pants off. Hysterical.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:23am.
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LoL..you sound like Ole(32 yrs old) children's Father
That is what got me,he ALWAYS made/makes me laugh
ugh.I had too much to drink.And remember I was ON the wagon.I made it to 28 days sober.Then I fucked up.
I'm getting back,though.FUCK wasting my beautiful life on booze!
♥
Love you guys
♥SmoootcheS♥
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by happyface on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:22am.
I hate her for picking him over pretty much anything. Whopper Jr. w/ fries vs. John Mayer? Whopper Jr., every time.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:20am.
meh, not a T.I. fan. Now if he was Magnum T.I., and drove a ferrari....
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
That's it! No I officially HATE Jen Aniston for picking that scumbag over her dogs. (I realize how that sounds).
let's talk about Clifford Joseph Harris Jr.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:15am.
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"Your body is a SHAM~WOW,and your daughters deserve the CHOPPIE SLAP MY COCK.............."
got that camera guy?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:11am.
hehe, just researching John Mayer songs, they're hard to follow.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
what kinda shit you talkin'?
About boats and flags half-staff and erections............wait....where am I?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:57am.
Not saying that I'm not up for the challenge, I just may need 3 ships and a crew of several hundred sailors to complete the task.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:52am.
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DON'T GET YOUR MAN KNICKERS IN A TWIST, THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:50am.
Thanks, I don't take compliments well. "You were very easy to get the cuffs on" just never sounded as good.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:49am.
Have you seen the sheer width of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass? I'll need a GPS, some divining rods, and Ferdinand Magellan to even think of embarking upon that quest.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:46am.
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**talking VERY slowly**
Okay,hunny,it is okay Mammi is here......
I just found out your real name,Dumb~Ass.
I like it.It sounds cute and smart.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:44am.
Unfortunately, "let me tittyfuck you, but keep that dog away" never sold that well
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GET WITH THE PROGRAM, THIS SEASON IS ALL ABOUT THE ANAL!!! UGH!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:42am.
My initials don't really spell TV, but they DO spell PMS when reversed. My mom was smarter than she let on.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:36am.
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ACTUALLY HE SHOULD PUT IT IN HIS BUNGHOLE SO HE CAN PASS THE BRICK HE HAS UP HIS LOVE CAVERN!!! HIS FRANKENSTEIN MUG IS FUCKING FUCKED BEYOND FUCKING REPAIR!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:41am.
lol. YOU'RE DOIN IT WRONG
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WHY
HOW
WWHHYY???
Show me the way oh great chief rocka...hummmmmm(I am meditating HMMMMMMM)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:40am.
What? It could happen! I LIKE dogs! My entire career also wasn't based upon a song I wrote about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Unfortunately, "let me tittyfuck you, but keep that dog away" never sold that well, so I have my current job.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Hey TV,I am diggin' on your "real" name.Very cute/smarty~like,sexy.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:39am.
lol. YOU'RE DOIN IT WRONG
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Team Valtrex's picture
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:34am.
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OK now that made me LOL...
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Let me dirty up your mind.