The Top 10 Least Craziest Shit People Say About Tommy
Tommy went on Letterman last night in his last desperate attempt to get people to actually pay money to see that movie about Nazis and poodle hair. Tommy and his alien slaves probably decided it would be a good idea to make fun of himself with Letterman's top 10 list of the "Craziest Things" people say about him on the interwebs. This list was obviously written by a group of thetans, because these are the least craziest things I've read about Tommy on the internets. Here's the sanitized Top 10:
The top 10:
10. I sleep upside-down suspended in a special bat - like harness.
9. During the filming of Days of Thunder, on a dare, I ate a tire.
8. I still wear those underpants from Risky Business.
7. My real name is Tom Blagojevich.
6. I once Heimliched a koala.
5. Once a month, I take the Universal tour naked.
4. I believe all emotional and psychological disorders can be cured with Vicks Vapo Rub.
3. I'm a power mad ego maniac who's completely insulated from reality - oh wait, that's Letterman.
2. After jumping on her couch, Oprah hammer-locked me until I coughed blood.
1. I keep a cell phone in my pants so I can tell friends to call my Disney.
Isn't this totally the G-rated Disney princess version? If they want the most fucked up things written about his crazy ass, then they should feast their eyes on the future reader comments for this post. There's your fucking Top 100 list! I can guarantee you.
And if Tommy's trying to not look like a complete fruit cake with lunatic icing on top, then he should probably not wear THAT in public.
Below is Crazy Brains outside of Regis & Kelly this morning.
Wenn
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Poor desperate Tommy frillypants. You can fool some of the people some of the time..........but ..yeh anyway. His shiteating grin has always been a major turn off for me.
We recognize the Damage Control Machine, Tommygirl. Doesn't help!
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Now THAT is a tree!
i think the list is not yet complete.
www.realitybedroom.com
Lately in his pictures he reminds me of the lunatic husband in Sleeping with the Enemy. Ya know, the type that knocks you around and then wants to get it on and give you a shitty nightgown to wear.
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When you're driving down the street with your hook hand and its shininess reflects off the sun and temporarily blinds you, causing you to crash into a tree, you'll think of Monifa.
~M.K.
#79: They had to use special effact to erase his erection while filming Valkyrie, he got a hard on from all that men in uniform on the set
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Pull the asshole open. Step into their asshole. Close the door behind you. Take a spray paint can "Larry was here." Eat snickers, leave wrappers and garbage, fuck his whole asshole up. Open it up and step
#37: He loves it that he and katey have the same haircut cus that way Suri calls him "mama" when she faces his back.
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Pull the asshole open. Step into their asshole. Close the door behind you. Take a spray paint can "Larry was here." Eat snickers, leave wrappers and garbage, fuck his whole asshole up. Open it up and step
I thought number 6 said "Once heimliched a "chola"
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Bye! Good
Fact: With time he is starting to look like his fuckey buddy Johnny Travolta.
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Pull the asshole open. Step into their asshole. Close the door behind you. Take a spray paint can "Larry was here." Eat snickers, leave wrappers and garbage, fuck his whole asshole up. Open it up and step
They couldn't use most of the "crazy" things people say, because they're probably all true.
People say I am looking "different somehow" these days. Uh huh, cosmetic surgery will make a difference.
And I don't care how normal he acts in his recent interviews, he is STILL a fucking crazy Scientologist!! Don't forget that, people. They are sneaky and driven, they are aalways looking for fresh blood!
i just don't know where to begin with Tommy anymore!... *shaking head*... i feel so useless
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Hey tommychica...kiss my cast. hehe. took 3 wks to type finally. right arm in a cast. anywais, yeah tom tom...u are a freak. u should've "broadcasted" what WE say about u!! Perdedor!!
Coma Caca!!
# 135 Tommygirl was honorary mayor of munchkinland.
You'll be hiss,
you'll be hiss,
you'll be history!
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too bad kissing all this brass is only to promote his movie.he's still got that crazyAxenu laugh.
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"The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!"
it is..
Susandflower on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 8:24pm
Just because one sits through a movie he is in does not make the conclusion he is the reason one sat through said movie or chose said movie. I sat through a few of movies with him in them despite the fact he happened to be in them.
I walked out of one his movies, Mission Impossible 2, about 20 minutes into it and I didn't pay to see it anyway.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Susandflower on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 8:24pm.
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I don't like him. Sue me.
islandgirl, you know you have seen a lot more uglier people them him. Even uglier models on the cover of magazines. But you have to admit, you probably seen more then two of his movies and if you have then you have to admit whether you like it our not you sat through them and watched him so you must think he is a decent actor non-the less. I mean I doubt you would watch a movie starring Flavor Flav now would you?
There's a baby picture of him in People and you know, it really looks like Suri. I'm leaning toward him being the real dad after seeing that.
Ive been a fan of Tommy since I was 8 years old, and his daughter is so cute.
Gregdavis, to each their own, I guess. I can honestly say I've never been a fan, and it has nothing to do with his personal life, beliefs, etc. OK, a little bit. He just reminds me of a rodent.
I actually like Tommy's movies.
I know the guy seems different but maybe because the guy is a star, a entertainer that is always in the spotlight. I don't think he is crazy. I am a New Yorker and run into a lot crazier people in the subway. I also run into people who worship rats in the subway. To each their own. Tom is a good actor. It is said that the movie Valkyrie will be good.
I thought the second thumb was Travolta.
Dare I say it but Tom is looking hot in a kind of soccer dad way. He's thinner, the butter teefs have been bleached, and his skin looks tight. Not bad.
tom is the original hook-nosed, dancing midget queer. so serioius.
# 1 craziest thing said about Tom Cruise?
He's not gay!
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
Tammy looks hot in these carefully posed, lighted and edited photos. We prefer the more candid ones that show ehr childbearing hips and round shoulders.
Does Tammy have hair plugs?
Number 1 - Tammy Cruise took the biggest choriso (uncut, 12 inches long and 8 inches around) in all of Christendom!!!!
She took the WHOLE THING - balls, cheese, and all - and NO rubbers!
Submitted by Happy Hour on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 3:41pm.
Uh Oh.. you guys are letting MK down.. he did say top 100 not top 54!
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but the man is SUCH AN ASS and a moron to boot. I can't work up the bile to come up with something clever. He's not worth the effort.
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
Not for nothing, I like Tom Cruise, I always have and I always will. Sure he's made some crappy movies, but who in Hollywood hasn't, okay round of applause. I think he's a good actor, I think he loves his wife, he is Suri's dad, and so what if he's into Scientology, the guy can laugh at himself, who cares if he's out promoting a crappy movie, you know he's laughing all the way to the bank, and by the way, he looks pretty dammed happy to me.
TommyGirl has always been nice to the fans, even old black women like the one in the picture. That's why I don't go to previews and places where celebs are because I'm an old black woman too. *LOL*
But he looks rather good actually. I'm sorry he got so weird. He was totally sexy after he left Nicole Kidman. TommyGirl jumped the shark after he hooked up with Katie and began the transformation into a Scientology clones.
I like to keep a cell phone in my pocket for when it vibrates.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 3:34pm.
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LOL - I abhor the smell of VapORub!
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http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"What's this word?"
---and that right there, folks, is how Scientology wins converts: they go for uneducated, narcissistic, attention whores.
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http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
He may be crazy, but he's still hot for his age!
#21. (picked a random number for MK's list)
TommyGirl plays shadow puppets with his peen to entertain Miscaviage during their "Audit" sessions.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
1. I keep a cell phone in my pants so I can tell friends to call my Disney.......... UH WHAT????!!! what? uhmm what I don't get it!? To call his Disney????????????? OH I GET IT HE HAS A DISNEY PHONE?
Uh Oh.. you guys are letting MK down.. he did say top 100 not top 54!
He looked hot again,I would do him multiple times.At least he can laugh at himself but you know he read that list,approved and rehearsed it first.Vapo Rub is comforting,I rub a little on my chest just to feel good,something about the smell makes me happy.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
11. The real reason I was jumping on Oprah's couch is because that damn gerbil has been stuck in my ass for the past 4 years.
Anyone remember the hue and cry Anne Rice put up when TC was hired to start in the vampire chronicles?
This seems to happen to him a lot.
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Angels Shiba Inu 6 Vid
TOMMY TOP TEN:
10. I have rhythym.
9. I call Kate "Iceman" in bed.
8. I don't know the truth, because I can't handle the truth.
7. I will formally challenge P. Diddy for the title: "Voice of This Generation"
6. I'm actually very tall... when I see myself in the mirror... alone... naked.
5. Everytime I laugh.. a species of endangered creatures becomes extinct.
4. Every Cinco de Mayo, I dab a little Cholula sauce on my "what what..." for uh... Kate.
3. I have a you tube video of myself dancing to Beyonces' Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
2. I will open up a bar soon named: Glib. It will only serve vitamin supplements and Scientology water.. my movies will play non-stop. Just like they do at my home.
1. I love vagina.
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Say something nice...he sure has that Antichrist stare down-pat!
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2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Poor TommyGirl it really was stupid to open on Christmas considering there's like 5 other good looking movies opening on the same day. I think my mum's trying to drag me to see Marley & Me. And call me what you will but I kind of want to see it, it looks cute.
MK is right. Letterman should have polled the Dlisted readers for this Top 10.
I'm pretty sure "Katie Holmes's brain has been replaced with a hard drive" and "Tom Cruise and John Travolta felch each other while wearing matching sailor outfits" would be numbers 1 and 2 on that list.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 2:49pm.
Why are his cheeks yellow?
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The putty isn't dry.
"I got pills, they're multiplyin', and the booze left to pour, oh the powder you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'-electrifyin-electrifyin"
Why are his cheeks yellow?
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Own it like a strap-on.
Attention Whore,
You actually think they have sex? LOL. Suri isn't really a person.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 2:41pm.
Submitted by Biel-zee-bub on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by firstclasstohell on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 2:20pm.
LMAO! I thought Brad Pitt's on/off English accent in "Troy" was bad until I saw the trailers for this.
"I got pills, they're multiplyin', and the booze left to pour, oh the powder you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'-electrifyin-electrifyin"
Okay TommyGirl...now you're just being desperate and pathetic.
Give it up already and retire with your robots to Mars or wherever Xenu resides.