Ass & Pete On The Dog Whisperer
Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson went on The Dog Whisperer before she popped out Bronx Mowgli, because they just weren't getting along, constantly biting at each other and fighting over who is pack leader. Yes, I know. Hit the gong!
Anyway, Ass and Pete really sought the advice of Cesar Milan, because their bulldogs, Hemingway and Rigby, weren't behaving. Ass is afraid how they are going to act with Bronx Mowgli around. Um. In order for the dogs to act sane, Ass and Pete have to move far away from their asses. Imagine being around those two dirty tampons all day. You'd go crazy too with the scent period blood always in the air.
Cesar does his usual shit like teaching Hemingway how to walk on the treadmill, etc.... I'm always shocked at this shit. There's no way in cat cookie hell that my dog would ever get on a damn treadmill, let alone walk on it. The minute I placed him on some kind of contraption that would force him to walk, he would grab all his shit and hit the road for Los Angeles where nobody walks. The lazy bitch wouldn't make it that far though. He would collapse in the hallway from exhaustion.
Ass and Pete's episode airs December 28th. Cesar should come back to teach them how to raise Bronx Mowgli. For real.
And why do celebwhores' houses always look like Z Gallerie, Pottery Barn and Cher's Sanctuary catalog exploded all over it?
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DAMN She is so FAT!
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.blogspot.com/
Clarisse! that is the single most inredibly awesome bit of trivia I have ever heard -- thank you!
Have I told you today that I love you, MK? I got a bad case of the giggles when you mentioned your dog collapsing in the hallway after trying to run away. My lazy ass dog wouldn't make it far either.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Tyroan,
Did you know that Daddy used to belong to Redman?
Do I know too much about this? Yes I do!
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
Cesar's dog Daddy is a Hot Slut!
Cesar fucken amazes me. More power to my boy for making money at basically kicking, poking and tiring out dogs to get them to obey him. Genius. Notice how he only has white folk on his show as clients. They all eat his shit up and pay him big bucks for it. A black person or hispanic would fell 'con'ed by Cesar if they were on that show and probably take him out!
Everyone else in the world doesn't give a fuck about dogs the way white folk do. The rest of us could care less. We just spank, yell, whatever the fuck to get the mutts to obey. I'm not racist or a dog hater, just saying...my boy Cesar found a niche and is filling it big time! Funny.
How would Bronx feel growing up specially since the dogs have better names
I just love Cesar Milan. He's just so good at dealing with dumbass owners, basically calling them fuckups with gems like “Sounds like consistency from the human part is not something that is available to them [the dogs].”
In other words, IT'S YOUR FAULT, SHITHEADS, and the owners eat it up. "Ohhhhhh".
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Bulldogs are the most resistant to training too, it's amazing that Cesar can work with them just as well as the rest of the dogs he trains! I love that show! And I hate these two emo twats, how dare they ruin this great show with their fuckery! They shouldn't even have dogs like those!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
"He would collapse in the hallway from exhaustion."
LMFAO!!!
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"She sounds like she's running a fucking marathon barefoot while singing this shit."
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com/
Should I be laughing so much? Especially at Ashlee. The dog barks and she lets out this little girl yelp.
Then she goes outside waddling in her skinny jeans. The dog on the treadmill just killed me.
Why don't I hate these people?
I hope their dog's bite them in their asses.I hate those two pretentious fucktards.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
I'm in agreement with MK's dog. Totally.
"The minute I placed him on some kind of contraption that would force him to walk, he would grab all his shit and hit the road for Los Angeles where nobody walks. The lazy bitch wouldn't make it that far though. He would collapse in the hallway from exhaustion."-MK
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Suri is already acting! The girl deserves a dozen Oscars for her riveting performance as the daughter of a crazy troll person with raccoon teeth. --MK
Petey is so PUNK!
I cannot even watch this. "Obviously the baby is going to be our main priority." They are the perfect example of irresponsible dimwits who think it's cool to get a dog (or two, or, hey-why not three!) and then fail to live up to the responsibilities of being a dog owner. New baby or not, that 3 year old dog should be just as much a priority and a member of the family. And these are millionaires we're talking about, not working people!
"...but the figure in question had out-Heroded Herod, and gone beyond the bounds of even the prince's indefinite decorum." -Poe
I heard it said if you can't make your dog sit and stay for five minutes you have no business having a child. It's not that difficult to train dogs. Most people are just lazy and tend to anthropomorphize their pets.
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
i can't watch this shit...and fuck these two assholes...if they can't handle dogs, thenhow are they gonna handle a baby... maybe they should've used a condom when they fucked...
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
I never felt one way or the other about them, but this video infuriated me. They treat the dog like he's some secondhand goods now that the bay-bee is coming along.
Buying him a companion isn't going to solve any problems. That dog still needs lots of love from his owners and it sounds like these two ding dongs are going to forget all about him.
Asslee indeed.
They both have terrible posture, though his is just awful. Look at the still - they look like a couple of students hauled into the pricipal's office.
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
We get it, you're having a baby. Jesus Christ. These people are just fucking morons and yet, perfect for each other. Ugh! UGH! UGH!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Pete has SUCH terrible posture!
Stop saying *bay-bee* in that annoying nasal way you stoopid bitch.
Fuck.
Reminds me of that Family Guys episode where a guy is repeatedly smacking a photo against Peter's forehead saying "Lookit my kid, Lookit my kid, Lookit my kid"
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
try bringing home a blanket that smells like the baby, BEFORE you bring the baby home, you dumbasses.
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I've been thinkin bout you....
And there ain't no doubt about it, I'm in love
- Evelyn "Champagne" King
Petey needs to stop worrying about the damn do and start focusing on his pathetic posture! At this rate, he will be totally hunched over by the time he turns 40.
Who in the fuck wears a pull down wool cap or a scarf inside the house? Maybe if you lived up in North Dakota in the winter. Again, these two fucktards give stupid a new dimension.
Please Ceasar, grab the dogs and the baby and run back to South Central with em!
Submitted by chowgirl69 on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 12:01pm.
YES YES Pet Psychic! Thank you. I remember watching that show and thinking people are crazy. Do they give it anymore? I only watch Animal precinct.
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I wanna nog your egg.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:30am.
Submitted by KD on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:23am.
A platypus? (Not so much ugly as it is just weird)
"Bitch, please! It's fucking personal!"
You're thinking of Pet Psychic. It used to be on Animal Planet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XRheG6aZDc
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:59am.
I know entirely too much about animals, England and serial killers…
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So An American Werewolf in London is right up your alley, huh? :)
...and anytime I hear or read "England", all I think of is..
"Angland can kiss mah ass!"
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A word to the wise isn't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
They're such toolbags.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Submitted by Salem13 on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:41am.
Awww dude I know I'm not crazy! I've seen a show about people talking to animals I swear! Its on either Animal planet or (maybe) Discovery channel? Somebody help me here...
No, you're not crazy, I remember that show too. It was called The Pet Psychic on Animal Planet and the ladies name was Sonya Fitzpatrick I think. I used to watch it all the time. (I'm a HUGE sucker for animals) Towards the end of the show she would always have people on who lost their pets and she would look at the pets pictures and give the grieving owners their "message". I'm such a sucker too, even though I know it was B.S. I'd bawl like a little baby, EVERY.FUCKING.TIME! This used to amuse my hub to no end as he'd inevitably walk in on me while I'm bawling and snotting and roll his eyes & sneer, lol.
Jeffro,
LMAO! My sister is always asking "Why do you know that!?!?"
I know entirely too much about animals, England and serial killers…
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:47am.
(wow...if I knew as much useful stuff as this kinda shit, I might have gotten somewhere in the world!)
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Same here...the wife marvels at the useless trvia I know. I kick ass whenever Jeopardy is on, for all the good it does.
"Foods dat stawt wit da letta Q"
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A word to the wise isn't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Salem,
I'm sure the "Dog Whisperer" was derived from so-called Horse Whisperers. Secret method of calming/training out of control horses. Began with Irish/Gypsy trainers that supposedly whispered secret incantations in the horses ears...
(wow...if I knew as much useful stuff as this kinda shit, I might have gotten somewhere in the world!)
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
SP bitch,
Good kittehs you have!
Mine is the biggest pain in the ass!
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Drink up! It's Xmas!
Awww dude I know I'm not crazy! I've seen a show about people talking to animals I swear! Its on either Animal planet or (maybe) Discovery channel? Somebody help me here...
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I wanna nog your egg.
My cats walks on the treadmill.
Jeffro/Missy!
Exactly just like kids! I caught (I think) an epi of Super Nanny and all I could do was shake my head. Junior punches you cus you laugh when he does it. Dumbass.
Salem,
DW is just some marketing nickname the network came up with. What he 'teaches' people is just common sense.
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
Snowie,
Ewwww!! Bad thoughts, BAAAAD thoughts! LOL
I hope not! Sick!
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Drink up! It's Xmas!
Submitted by KD on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:23am.
Good point, KD. I can't think of anything in nature that reminds me of Rumer's face.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I wonder if Hemingway and Rigby let Pete do them in their no no holes too?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
What What in da butt
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Drink up! It's Xmas!
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:18am.
How about it! A picture of Rumer Willis, and all the dogs will be together. Woof.
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People should really quit calling Rumer a dog because most dogs are 10x cuter than that thing. In fact, I think most animals are. Maybe she looks more like a possum. Although, I have met a couple of "pet" possums, and they are actually quite sweet. So what's another UGLY animal that would work?
Speaking of all these dogs, when are you going to make Elvie a Hot Slut of the Day?
After watching the show about 5 times, you figure out that it's pretty much the same problems over and over and over and over. And most of the stuff he does works with dogs like bulldogs and pit bulls, but not my golden retriever. Then again, I don't walk him as much as I should. That might help the whole "energetic" factor. Whenever I have taken him running with me, he sleeps for like an hour when we get home and is an angel for the rest of the day.
Submitted by luscious_t on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:13am.
How many times are they going to say "The Baby?" Yes, we get it - you're fertile and fucking. Sheesh - nobody cares about your damn baby!
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It was pre Mowgli, when these two bastards thought someone might actually care...
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Pull the asshole open. Step into their asshole. Close the door behind you. Take a spray paint can "Larry was here." Eat snickers, leave wrappers and garbage, fuck his whole asshole up. Open it up and step
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:06am.
it's dog eat dog day today on dlisted
How about it! A picture of Rumer Willis, and all the dogs will be together. Woof.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Salem13 on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 11:15am.
I thought he "talked" to dogs (animals?)? Or maybe I'm thinking of another show?
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That's Dr. Dolittle! LOL
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A word to the wise isn't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
MK, is this Dog Day Afternoon? First Hideous Monster on the cover of ModernDog and now these two fucktards. Ugh. Give us the dogs without the celebrity...uh...dogs.
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Now THAT is a tree!
oh my god did you cunts know that pete wentz wrote a book based on his nightmares as a child?
run to amazon.com to buy it before it runs out
*crickets*
the show host sounds like fez from that 70s show