Pete Wentz Talks About Doing It In Asshole's Ass

Sorry if that headline made your lunch creep up into your throat. Thankfully, I don't get visuals, because I can't picture these two vaginas doing anything past tickling or light petting. I still have no idea how they actually had a baby together. Pete's lil' soldier (that's what they call it) probably accidentally slipped in Asshole's hooha (again, that's what they call it) while they were involved in an intense tickling game.

Pete Wentz wants us to believe that they actually fuck each other. On Howard Stern's radio show this morning, Pete said that Asshole Simpson lets him stick it in her no-no every now and again. Please. That bitch is no Anal Ashlee. Pete's the one who gets it in his assmouth. He probably uses Ashlee's old nose to do it with.

Pete also said that their sex life is so amazing, "If we had been on this show last year, we'd probably be doing it in the green room right now." They don't do it anymore, because of Bronx Mowgli, but they do "other fun stuff." The "other fun stuff" is probably playing Barbies and making cakes with their Easy Bake Oven. They might even play Operation together, but even that's a little too much anatomy for them.

Pete said Ashlee gives the most amazing lap dances and loves to wear thongs for him. He said it took a while to convince her to bump snatches with him, but once they did, it was amazing. "It was at the Soho Grand Hotel [in New York City], and I'm looking in the mirrors, [thinking], 'Oh my God, you are [sleeping with] the girl of your dreams, and you can watch yourself!'"

Pete's been watching soft-core movies on Cinemax late at night again, right? That's where he came up with all this crap to tell Howard.

And you know Papa Joe's genitals exploded while he listened to this interview. Check your roof. Papa Joe's blown off peen might be laying up there.

Source

(Thanks Da Explora)

Posted by: Michael K

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Ashlee Simpson • Girlfriend Please

Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:08pm.

*sobbing*

MK! Do you hate us that much?!

What did we ever do to you?

*dissolving into uncontrollable sobs, rocking back and forth, wringing hands*

Somebody hold me

Submitted by Knuckles_Johnson on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:07pm.

Boy, Pete and Asslee really are desperate to stay in the press.

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:07pm.

But Petey, you didn't tell us whether or not Asslee goes ass to mouth?

*projectile vomits*

Submitted by Rican35 on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:07pm.

So the next time I catch Asshole lipsyncing on the boob tube I will be forced into thinking of her taking Pete's ween in the no-no hole. Thanks.

Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:07pm.

DOUCHES!
Ugh, I'd be royally pissed if my emo douche baby daddy was sharing that info with none other than Howard Stern...shut up!

On second thought, he pretends Ass is some dude with horse hair when sticking it in the doodie hole...nasty

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Drink up! It's Xmas!

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:06pm.

*vomits on keyboard*

Petey doing sexytimes with Assholes asshole. No. gross.

*barfs again*

Petey doing sexytimes with anyone else. Kinda hot.

Yes, I have a douchebag problem.

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 4:06pm.

And you know Papa Joe's genitals exploded while he listened to this interview. Check your roof. Papa Joe's blown off peen might be laying up there.

O.M.G.- that's disgusting and not too far out there. Blech

"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi

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