Tommy Will Be The Craziest Stage Mom Ever
What kind of craziness is spewing out of Tommy Girl's glory hole mouth today? Well, Tommy would absolutely adore it if Suri Cruise decided she wanted to be an actress. At last night's premiere of that movie you don't need to know the name of since you're not going to see it ever, Tommy was asked by UsWeekly what would he think if Suri wanted to act, "I'd love it. I'd love it. Acting is ... a great life to get to entertain people and create characters and stories."
Suri is already acting! The girl deserves a dozen Oscars for her riveting performance as the daughter of a crazy troll person with raccoon teeth. Honestly, Suri probably already has a team of agents, managers, stylists, publicists, acting coaches and blah...blah..blah... Since Tommy's career is in the urine trough, he's going to whore out Suri so that she can become the cash cow in the family. Mama Tommy will be the most insane stage mother. He'll make that bitch Rocky from I Know My Kid's a Star look like mother of the year.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea. Suri was born to star in a remake of Small Wonder. I'm totally right.
Tommy went on to say that Suri is already talking, "Her vocabulary is great. The ones that we love are, 'I love you.' I love hearing 'I love you, dada. I love you, mama.'"
My mind would blow off if I heard Suri speak. She probably sounds like Shirley Temple speaking through a vocoder. Tommy is just being modest. Suri also knows at least 15 languages, can recite Dianetics from memory, can sing the Village People's Macho Man on key (that's Tommy's favorite song) and can give you the current location of Katie Holmes. Tommy upgraded her software recently.
Here's Tommy at the NYC premiere of that movie with Thomas Kretschmann last night. Oh yeah, Tommy has totally licked Thomas' cheese strudel.
Wireimage, Wenn
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Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:39am.
That's ok: I'm tall and like to randomly throw my giant soda over my shoulder.
i just read a parody of this over at Pophangover: (http://pophangover.com/?p=1387)
WHAT SURI SAYS vs WHAT SURI MEANS.
What Suri Says: “I love you, dada”
What Suri Means: “I love that my dresses are prettier than our Mexican housekeeper’s kids’ dresses”
Fuck me! I would hit it! :-(
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Pull the asshole open. Step into their asshole. Close the door behind you. Take a spray paint can "Larry was here." Eat snickers, leave wrappers and garbage, fuck his whole asshole up. Open it up and step
lizard: OMG me too, I am sitting at my desk Indian style right now.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:37am.
Well if you hang him by his twinkle toes and massage his feet and legs so that all of the blood goes gushing towards the head... pretty fast, I'd reckon.
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:36am.
Then don't sit in front of me! (lurvs)
I hate it when people sit in front of me. I cannot, for the life of me, sit in a chair correctly. I even cross my legs in a car (like Indian style). When I'm on mass transit, it kills me to not put my feet up. When teachers used to ask if I would put my feet up on my mom's table, I'd look at them and say "yes".
So, warning to all. If you find a mess of lizard sitting behind you in the movie theater, DO NOT SIT IN FRONT OF HER!
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
Lizard!
Oh lord! I do that too!
If you have seen the trailer, Cruise makes ZERO effort at any sort of accent, but he is portraying Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg a high ranking German officer. UGH!
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
if you ran a razor blade thru that vein on his forehead would he die fast or slow?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:31am.
I could watch it like I watch scary movies. I put a foot on the seat and slouch down so that my knee covers most of the screen.
hahahaha. (Just don't kick my seat-back.)
Those 2 need to get a room.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
As a little girl, when he was big in the early 90s, I remember looking at the covers of Mom's tabloids (like mother, like daughter - DON'T JUDGE!) and thinking, "What’s the big deal about this guy? He’s not that good looking." My opinion has not changed. Plus he’s like 5’2, and that’s such a turn off.
Also, my cousin, who works with Nicole Kidman, has told me about how crazy he is. Basically, the rumors are true. His agent set up interviews with a bunch of actresses to see who would be his wife. He wanted Jessica Alba, but she was completely against it. Also, he is a COMPLETE control freak. When Nicole and him split, she had to change her number several times because he was harassing her and he had everything bugged! Also, once Katie’s car was messy and there was a dent in the bumper. He sees this and RIGHT away makes sure the bumper is fixed and the car is cleaned. He’s nuts.
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Submitted by Ziggys Misbehav... on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:21am
IZZARD IS KING!! Bored people are usually pretty boring themselves, so if you think he is a bore, perhaps it's really a clue you have a defective sense of humor. Unless you really meant "boor," in which case, you must lump yourself into that grouping for rudely saying he's not A-list. Either way, "pppbbbbbbbtttttttttt" raspberry to you! Yes, I'm just that immature.
"I got pills, they're multiplyin', and the booze left to pour, oh the powder you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'-electrifyin-electrifyin"
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:26am.
Lizard,
He plays a General, but I doubt it would be a major role.
*siiiiigh* Now I HAVE to see it. I could watch it like I watch scary movies. I put a foot on the seat and slouch down so that my knee covers most of the screen. Whenever Tommy does a monologue, I'll just move the knee to cover his face. Problem solved!
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
hi Nova! ♥♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Whats not told in these photos is the story of Tommy snubbing the horde of photographers outside the venue. MEDIA WHORE Tommy! Snubbing the press... WTF?
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.blogspot.com/
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:23am.
Submitted by Ziggys Misbehav... on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:21am.
LOL, Eddie Izzard is not an A-List actor. He is a mediocre bore.
Wow, you just brought a whole lot of dlisted hot bitches down on your head with that statement....
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Shit yeah!
lol.
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Ziggy,
You say bore, I say A-list.
Lizard,
He plays a General, but I doubt it would be a major role.
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
suri is already 3.5 years old.. she should be babbling and screaming "I'm so frusterated!"
(mine does.. lol)
..and seriously where the crap is her jacket?!?!?!
enough already!!!
LOOK!!! ONLY 3 MORE MOTHERFUCKIN DAYS TO GO-
Vote for my WORST Fashion Moment EVERYDAY @ http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
Submitted by Ziggys Misbehav... on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:21am.
LOL, Eddie Izzard is not an A-List actor. He is a mediocre bore.
What?! WHAT?! *spits coffee on computer in outrage*
Everybody is entitled to their opinion, but yours just happens to be WRONG!
(lol)
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
Submitted by Ziggys Misbehav... on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:21am.
LOL, Eddie Izzard is not an A-List actor. He is a mediocre bore.
Wow, you just brought a whole lot of dlisted hot bitches down on your head with that statement....
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Why would she not be speaking already?
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:11am.
I know! I saw the trailer and created a little panty pudding myself when I saw everybody. I got soooo excited! But then I remembered that Tommy was in it and backed it and paid for it and produced it and probably directed, wrote, and played most of the characters a la Eddie Murphy.
But everybody else is the SHIT!!! I almost (almost) want to see it.
Eddie is there? A bit part or are you just playing with my emotions?
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
LOL, Eddie Izzard is not an A-List actor. He is a mediocre bore.
I was tempted by Valkyrie based purely on the subject matter, although after seeing a segment about it on the television, I am thinking of protesting its release.
More so than any other language, the German language is routinely shat upon by people like Tom Cruise. If a film is set in 1944 Germany then the characters should be speaking German. If you can't speak German, then you can either A) Learn German, or B) Keep your mouth shut.
I don't even think they bother attempting German accents.
Why is the German language considered to be so unpalatable to these people that they have to use an English speaking cast? Do they think that audiences are to stupid to keep up with subtitles?
ha ha TommyGirl needs a nose job, STAT!
...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Buy that kid a coat and quit wrapping her in a blanket. He has a coat on, her arms are COLD.
I'm not going to see that movie that Mk doesn't want to say the title to either, but as far as Suri going into acting...you never know how kids are going to turn out...potato head Willis is all I'm saying.
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Um....why does Tommy have Owen Wilson's nose??
I can't get past his damn teeth....they look straight but they are actually really askew(love that word!). Its like they shifted over to the right or something. Anyway...they bug me. lol.
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
hwood
He has rabbit teeth, I have thought so since Risky Business. Yuck. Never liked him. But I loved Rocky from that show! I quit watching when she got booted off.
I guess next week, SuriBot will be climbing Mt. Everest and will be discovering the cure for cancer.
Oh yeah...those two already bumped their strudels....that is why Katie wasn't there.....the Troll already had a date!!!
WTF is up with the Troll's teeth????
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Why be difficult when I am a professional at being impossible! emote emote emote
Ok - see what Suri is doing with her lips? *That's* how you blow a didjeridoo.
*dialing up NK*
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Betrayal is the only truth that sticks~Arthur Miller
Why wasn't Katebot by his side at the opening?
The only child actors I can think of who seem to have come thru relatively unscathed are Ron Howard & Jodie Foster.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I despise Tom Cruise for this movie and taking British A-List actors down with him!
Eddie Izzard, Kenneth Branagh, Tom WIlkinson, Bill Nighy, Tom Hollander, Terence Stamp, Eddie Izzard (what?)...and...Tom fucking Cruise???? Bah-Humbug!
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
Gay Cruise sure looks extremely happy compared to the pictures he has taken with Katy.
Submitted by dustbunny on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 11:06am.
Nothing good ever seems to happen to child actors.
So true. So true that people are surprised when one survives into a normal adulthood.
I can picture TG and Jeff Archuleta getting along *fabulously*.
And I looked up Thomas Kretschmann (remembered him from King Kong but didn't know his name)...interesting guy: trained as an Olympic swimmer, lost part of his finger to frostbite during a month long trek from East to West Germany to escape Communism.
(And here I bitched about the paper cut I got this morning opening my breakfast bar wrapper.)
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Thomas Kretchamannanannann is a cutie. Who is he?
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Own it like a strap-on.
I wish they'd just let Suri grow up. I mean nobody whores their kids as much as Tommy does. Even the famewhores Angie and Brad give their kids an illusion of privacy, but Tommy makes sure the pap are on Suri's ass.
WTF?
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
Of course Suri is already talking. She's an amazing 3 year old woman!
Nothing good ever seems to happen to child actors. The smart parents that already in the industry make their kids wait till they finish school FIRST. Otherwise they are has-been actors at 20 being found dead in a motel no-tell of an overdose.
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http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
Can his film just epically fail so he can fade back into his version of obscurity? Meaning he'll whore out his kid leaving every hotel known to man but at least he's not showing up at every event and premiere and talk show?
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Bother me tomorrow, today I'll buy no sorrows, do do do, lookin' out my backdoor
Tommy's nose scares me. And you can totally see the crazy in his eyes.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
MK, you are absolutely right. Suri was born to play that role. LOL
And who knew that she was a Lojack in disguise!? hahahaha
Oh yeah, and those two totally did it. You can tell.
"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi
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RIMADYL KILLS
You never cease to amaze me with your metaphors, MK. LOL. He looks like his cheese strudel is probably very tasty, how could Tommy resist?
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You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
She should do some more walking. She looks like she could be gaining some weight.
Jesus, could he just fucking get hit by a bus? So Suri and Katie can live happily ever after? I loathe this satanic fuckface.
Suri should become a lawyer and sue the bejesus out of the $cientologists.
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Now THAT is a tree!
Tommy is starting to develop old-man-PENIS-NOSE!!! Travolta is thrilled.
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
I think I've found the feel-good holiday movie for the whole family.
Suri's in the middle of saying, "Bitch please."