Papa Joe's "Operation Money Baby" Is Failing
When Ashlee Simpson told her big daddy man (that's what she calls him) she was knocked up with a soon-to-be horribly named baby, he probably pictured dollars falling from the sky and into his crotch. The things he was going to do with all that money: a Jessica Simpson real doll, a new "security camera" system for Jessica's house.... the list was endless. Well, there isn't any money falling from the heavens, because nobody wants to pay for pictures of BMw Baby.
A source told Page Six that Ash and Pete are trying to sell the exclusive first pictures of Bronx Mowgli, but there aren't any takers. "Pete and Ashlee have approached every single celebrity magazine with offers to sell their first photos, but nobody wants them. Covers of them tend not to sell well."
The magazines probably realized they could just publish a free picture of a giant chin covered in eyeliner with an Emo wig on top and nobody would really know the difference. Poor little attention whores... I'm sure Papa Joe is already working on Plan B: sell the baby to Hot Topic, Disney, the City of New York or the BMW corporation.
Image: Wireimage
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HAHA! That'll teach 'em. Asslee and Peter Weenis, fuck off to some obscure level of hell and let your poor child be adopted by a couple who rename him Jason.
Submitted by Dallas on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 11:49am.
Any bets on how long these two will actually be maried?
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They'll be done by 2010.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Why does Asslee always give the camera that side look? Mayeb she realizes her full-on face is so fug, the lens will shatter.
I bet their baby is rubber.
Everything Papa Joe touches is poison. As the Bingo Parlor sensation Jessica and her amore Tony "Interception" Romo can attest.
My friend recommended me a very interesting place ^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
BMW must be lucky to be unpopular enough to be able non-whorable. The Lawds face muss be shinin' don on du leetle dood.
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I keel U, poopoo heds!
Deb: One of my standard interview questions for a new boyfriend is if they have any naked baby pics. If they do, the second question is if their mother is batshitcrazy. Hasn't failed me yet. No more looking at little peepees. I like them better when they're all grown up.
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
is it too late for an abortion?
Any bets on how long these two will actually be maried?
Mega celebaby FAIL.
Papa Joe is kicking himself for not putting holes in Romo's condoms. A Jessica baby cover would have sold.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 11:44am.
Mothers-in-law are always good for those awkward moments!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I can’t help but laugh…..
…and really hope that 4th Hanson kid gets a cover or two.
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 11:42am.
Free baby pics? Unheard of! Although, (since it is ALL ABOUT ME) I went over to an ex's for the first time and his mom showed me naked baby pics just like in the movies. She said and I quote "look at his little peepee!" AWKWARD!!!
Naked baby pics need to be banned the world over.
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
I always wonder about couples like Nicole and Madden and these two douches, how are they really going to make a living?????
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
You mean these fuckers might have to work to earn a living? wow, too bad.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Simple case of bad timing.Ad spending is down across the board.Paper tabloids are facing extinction...and bloggers like MK 'aint givin' that azz nuthin' but pathetic looks ifn' you think they'z partin' with money for "exclusives".I believe the word is SCHADENFRUEDE.;^D
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 11:34am.
Morning, hon! Bowie says thanks!
So do you think they'll even bother taking pictures of the baby like normal parents do, for free?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
HA HA...Funny, what makes them think magazines will be interested?
Well, Bronx...I mean, shit. That's just mean Asshole!!!
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"Mewy Kwishmas every body!!"
Yeah, I had a feeling that would happen when her birth was in the corner of some cover with Angelina at the forefront talking about falling in love with Brad. Ha.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the same team?!
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
Thats right ASHLEY. No one cares.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Pathetic.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
HHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA I guess there is justice after all. Douches!
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"Mewy Kwishmas every body!!"
ahahahahahahaha....
No one wants YOU!
Aw, poor BMW, he'll grow up normal now.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
HAHAHA. This just made my day. No, no...my week!
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
Good morning Deb! Bowie is looking as fine as evah.
Oh, my bad mood is totally clearing up! I wuvs you bitches!
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
So THIS is how we rank celebrity value these days; by how much their baby pictures are worth.
So, the tabloids have spoken: these two to just need to disappear.
BMW to therapist, 2029 (sobbing): "They tried to sell my baby pictures to tabloids, but nobody wanted them.... They finally took 30 thou from 'Parade.' They spent it on a kitchen remodel."
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Why do so many d-bag idiots use the comments section to chat with each other in their secret dumbass code language? Go away. (Asspenny 12/9/08)
Oh no, his eye is jaundiced! And her face looks just plain different now.
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I keel U, poopoo heds!
Let's hope the fug of a Wentz used sperm donor. Otherwise his genes will make for fugliest kid around.
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Aki Hoshino Gallery
I just want to see the damn thing. I hope he's cute. Lord knows he's going to have a rough life.
**Christmas needs to be OVER!!!**
HAHAHA! I love it! Oh the horror of not being able to whore out your spawn!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
HHAHAHAHA! This is the funnest thing I have seen so far today. They are both giant douches.
they'll probably sell that horribly named baby to a fucking deli to make sandwiches from it...fame whores, hope nobody picks those baby pics
who rubbed a dandelion all over emodouches eye?
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
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