Wednesday, December 10th 2008

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Chris Dane Owens - Creator and star of one of the most magical music videos of all time. I think this is what the inside of Robert Pattinson's hair looks like as seen through the eyes of Meat Loaf. Prepare to be enchanted. Video below:


And is it just me or does he kind of look like the missing member of Nelson?

For Monica

Posted by: Michael K


It's like a mad, deranged, low-budget bastard child of "Lord of the Rings," "the Matrix," a bad romance novel and "Pirates of the Caribbean"!

letinstar's picture

stopped 10 seconds in...the windblown hair alone gave me uncontrollable gas...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...

z-listed's picture

Enchanted? MK, are you going soft on us?

Who IS this douche and why does he (and the Nelsons) think woman go ga-ga over long, wind-blown hair? Yuck!

If I want to be enchanted, I'll go watch Lord of the Rings!

boomsy's picture

Wow; that was better than some of the movies I've seen in the past few years. Must've had one hell of a budget.

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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'

Noelegy's picture

As cheesy as that was, it was a delicious kind of cheese, like a hot fondue of glam rock. I don't think I ever heard of this guy before. I liked how he couldn't decide which sci-fi/fantasy genre he wanted to dabble around with.

And *blush* he was kinda pretty.

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You're missing the point I'm sure does not need making
that Christmas spirit is not what you drink.
--Jethro Tull

Brionity's picture

Got to be HUGE in Germany.

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Exercising pointless futility.

gee_gee's picture

The. Fuck?

I refuse to believe that just happened. I don't know what was worse. The split screens!!! The hair blowing in a windless room!? The three witches? Dude looked like Wesley from the Princess Bride after sexual reassignment surgery.

iHeartHaters's picture

Someone wore out his Neverending Story vhs. LMAO@MST3K doing this! That would be sah-weeeeet!

(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)

2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.

"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008

Bondagebarbie's picture

Awesome!It's like Fabio and Julian Sands had a baby!

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

http://www.myspace.com/384080529

WWJDFAKB's picture

He is getting the time periods mixed up. Did I see Redcoats in the mix of this Highlander wet dream?

Condi the ingrown toenail's picture

Someone's been reading 50000 romance novels, and watching The Lord of the Rings, Eregon, The Chronicles of Narnia and the Golden Compass non-stop, hasn't he? Who the hell is this guy? He's a terrible singer and the song production sounds straight out of 1987, and not in a good way. This video cries out for the MST3K guys. Jeebus. I haven't seen anyone's hair flipped around that way since the days of Pete Burns.

Okay, I just looked at his web site. Are we sure this isn't some elaborate parody? Because, that was really...I don't know what to call it.

This looks like it would be very popular with the members of Stormfront. They go in big time for Nordic legends/Lord of the Rings/Faux Celtic things. I suppose because none of those involve blacks, "mestizos" (as they call Mexicans) or Jews.

dirtstarsareblind's picture

He's like a shitty, Nordic version of Prince.

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Shoebox's picture

He looks more like the missing Arquette sister

_ Why not?_

Kelkundici's picture

First of all dude cannot ride a horse at ALL. Check the beginning of the video. What an idiot.

Secondly, if he had dark hair he would look exactly like Ted Danson.

Romy's picture

Another one for the douchebag-three names correlation: Brian Austin Green

Barb Dwyer's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIzVoNq9f9s

Club Tropicana- the video link. Go for it! It's like smelling the 80's all over again!

Barb Dwyer's picture

Ah, give me my youth back but only with Wham's Club Tropicana!!! It was our theme song with all my co-flight attendants. AHhhhh. nice memories...

Muska's picture

He looks like Anne Rice's Marius.

ohkimber's picture

I kinda liked it...but I like fucked up sci-fi mash-up stuff. BTW Spoiled, I was thinking the same thing. Thanks for the info.

Korean Celt's picture

Sorry, boo, I had to shut it off about halfway because it was so stupid I could actually feel brain cells dripping out my ears. And this is from someone who managed to keep her ass in the theatre seat through the entirety of American Anthem.

Raven's picture

Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 9:56am.

exactly .. now if he would have had dark hair i would have jizzed in my pants ...

maDalice's picture
maDalice's picture

Wow.

lizardbits1's picture

Sheeps: According to behind the music that I watched in junior high, he dropped the Cougar forevah because it wasn't really his name. He was just John Cougar for a little and then John Cougar Mellencamp and now, because he's proud of his Hoosierness, he's just John Mellencamp.

And why the FUCK would you want a pink house?

**Well these are great Christmas gifts, but what did you get for my BIRTHDAY?**

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 11:24am.
Check it out sometime: direct correlation between multiple names and douchiness. It's also a giant cry of look-at-me.
Examples: JLH; Seann William Scott (also violates the no-odd-spellings rule); John Cougar Mellencamp; ad nauseam.
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So true. I met John *Cougar* Mellenhead and he was a rude arsehole.

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Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 11:28am.

I vaguely recall something like that. It's not Cougar again? I have a cold and dint feel like thinking too hard. As Drama just said, any of the kids from Home Improvement are good examples.

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I tole you not to be stupid, you moron!

dramaqueen365247's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 11:24am.

Damn! I guess none of the "Home Improvement" kids will be getting Christmas cards from Sheeps this year!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

lizardbits1's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 11:24am.

Did John Cougar Mellencamp (not caring enough to spell it right) get a little respect back when he dropped the Cougar or is it a one offense always guilty type of thing?

**Well these are great Christmas gifts, but what did you get for my BIRTHDAY?**

I never trust anyone who insists on using three or more names. (Sorry if that offends anyone here or if that's racist to the multi-named.) Check it out sometime: direct correlation between multiple names and douchiness. It's also a giant cry of look-at-me.
Examples: JLH; Seann William Scott (also violates the no-odd-spellings rule); John Cougar Mellencamp; ad nauseam.

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I tole you not to be stupid, you moron!

HellaciousB's picture

No wonder I was shit-faced through all of the 80s. Look at the crap we had to put up with.

Wait. What? That thing is present-day? Looks like I'll be shit-faced for the rest of this decade.

What a slap in the face to real musicians, when some no-talent bubblehead pretends to play the guitar.

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You can only hold it so long before crunchy gets soggy. - TITS

lizardbits1's picture

Awesome! I mean the video was pretty damn kicking. The music SUCKED ASS, but that's besides the point. Very pretty. I like pretty things.

But what's with the guitar? I heard no not sampled green guitar in that song.

**Well these are great Christmas gifts, but what did you get for my BIRTHDAY?**

sjsmitty's picture

what did 1:37 have to do with the rest of it???!!

"No one knows... who they were... or... what they were doing."

Seriously, what's up with the Stonehenge?

EvilShoe's picture

That's exactly what I see in my head when I think of Legolas. I mean Orlando Bloom...

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Dick happens! - MK

DeeDee's picture

Submitted by domepikachu on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 10:00am.
deedee
i licked your avi. i'm sorry.
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It's ok domepikachu. Just keep your hands off his magical hairs and we won't have a problem. lol :P

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Robert, you shook me all night long.

Mr. Mercury's picture

God, that looked like a Keebler elf wet dream.

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

deedee
i licked your avi. i'm sorry.

that was...long.

the amazing fido's picture

I was totally expecting some gay elf porn

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If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

DeeDee's picture

Chris wishes his hair was as magical as Robert's! Plus, long hair blonde dudes don't make my regions tingle.

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Robert, you shook me all night long.

Does look like Nelson but, Michael K, have you OD'd on animal cookies? The visual part of the vid was beautiful but the song? Ordinary.

He tapped into every fantasy genre there is. Um, less is more much?
And yes, he does look like someone's missing member.

Hmm, not so much a lost member of Nelson so much as a lost member of Army of Lovers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYT2aWavXlc

OMG! That was like every Sci-Fi Con I've ever been to, except with hotter chicks.

chefcammi's picture

I'm sure he's calling out hay today... most def.

MK: I think you should make all of your Dlisters Hot Sluts of The Day! They are the main reason my votes have SKYROCKETED to 1ST place! Vote for my WORST Fashion Moment here-->
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Clarisse's picture

Tico,
Well, they couldn't use an English saddle. No horn to hold on to.

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Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Green Is Good's picture

Call me insane, but...I think I kind of like it.