Tommy Girl's Marriage Advice For Spencer Twatt
Why the fuck was Tommy Girl on The Hills' after-show last night? Why the fuck does The Hills even have an after-show? Actually, why the fuck does The Hills even exist at all?
Only Satan knows the answers to these questions and he's smoking a bowl with a Spaghetti Cat (he's everywhere) right now, so we'll have to ask him later.
Yes, Tommy Girl's desperation led him to The Hills' after-show last night to give marriage advice to Spencer Pratt. Isn't that special? From one fake husband to another. When asked about what he thought about Heidi and Spencer fake eloping, he said, "If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding. It's a special occasion, and she'll remember it forever. Spencer... dude... you'll realize this later."
Tommy forgot to advise Spencer to switch Heidi's brain with a robot hard drive. Correction: just a slip a robot hard drive in Heidi's head, because she doesn't have a brain.
It looked like Tommy really wasn't aware of Spencer existence, but I'm sure it was love at first sight. You could tell Tommy's Scientolohole started chomping like a Hungry Hungry Hippo when they showed him Spencer's pic. Fleshy beards really do it for him. Heidi better be ready to fight for her fake husband, because Tommy is going to make Spencer his next wife.
And here's a few pictures of Tommy on MuchOnDemand yesterday. I can smell Tommy's panty pudding from here. He's pinching himself because he can't believe one of his wet dreams actually came true.
Wireimage
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People think tom cruise is crazy because he's nice. People don't trust nice people. They only time people like him is when he's playing an asshole, like the one in magnolia or that douche he played in tropic thunder. Why? Because Americans don't trust nice people. They want to think he's smarmy and rude. I think that says more about our society than it does about Tom Cruise.
It's funny to watch the movies pre-scientology. you dont see that crazy in his eyes... the more he got involved, the crazier his eyes looked... may be a good actor, but his EYES are filled with CRAZY!
SOmeone should make a morph starting at his 1st movie up until his recent bomb (Val-something-or-other)
MK: I think you should make all of your Dlisters Hot Sluts of The Day! They are the main reason my votes have SKYROCKETED to 1ST place! Vote for my WORST Fashion Moment here-->
http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
MK, you are one hilarious mofo. "You could tell Tommy's Scientolohole started chomping like a Hungry Hungry Hippo when they showed him Spencer's pic." That's the funniest shit ever!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
All his shoes and sneakers have 2-3 inch lifts built in. What a riot. I met him about 20 years ago in NYC in a nightclub and I think he is about 5'5" TOPS.
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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oh tom u'r still you. nothing changed:)
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And just for the record, I'd do Spencer before Tom. Also I watch the Hills online just out of plain curiosity, I'm a little addicted, at the same time I know it's so stupid and people who seriously take it seriously are not right. But I do watch it. But seeing Tom, a real actor promote a reality show that is not reality and the show has no storyline except to maybe 13 yos is pathetic to me. I watch it because I hear about it so much and I just have to see what dumb thing LC is doing (I can't stand her) and Heidi and Spencer crack me up. But I hate admitting it.
Hannah montanna or whatever would have been a better choice! Anything!
Tom you are a real actor, you are in a sucky "religion" but you are a real actor, how can you "promote" the HILLS?????? SHAME!
OK, no matter how much you hate tom or scientology, WHY DO WE HAVE TO GIVE THE HILLS THE SATISFACTION OF HAVING TOM CRUISE ON THERE????????? THAT pisses me off!!!!
Hey Tom, I'm not going to see your movie and either is anyone else I know!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone else hope and pray this will be brangelina in the not too distant future? Tommy girl used to have that same sanctimonious attitude they have now! This should seriously be a warning to all out of control celebrities! Well at least Tom has owned up to fucking up, I'll give him that! Compared to Brangelina these days, I actually find Tom and Katie likable! Pretty messed up, huh?
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
whoa, whoa wait tommy girl was on the hills aftershow last night?? i tried my hardest to watch that shit, but dozed off (or something), becuase watching that shit is like ufc or something, so weird and not normal, bleh in other words FAKE (duh, lol). i would've stayed up for that one though (tommygirl that is), i must save my energy for the new season of the bad girls club, lmao. hence, the marathon today, oh how i've missed those days and those "darlene eyes" (a.k.a drunk, eyes). *sigh*... anyone else watching the new season? (the bgc season3 that is).
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Man, Tomasina must be reeeeally hard-up for publicity. The fucking HILLS??? Why not just stand on the side of the I-10 with a hand-scrawled sign reading "WILL BOTTOM FOR PR".
MTV is satan, well, Wal-Mart gives it a run for its money, but I am convinced the child in the Omen (the original) is Tom Cruise.
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 10:57pm.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS TG DOING AT THE NASCAR AWARDS CEREMONY?
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Two words: SWORD FIGHT!!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Okay, totally opening myself up for ridicule here, & I know it's a much smaller audience, but WHAT THE FUCK WAS TG DOING AT THE NASCAR AWARDS CEREMONY? & AT MY BOY JEFF GORDON'S TABLE???? If he's ruined Jeff, I will weep bitter tears into my purple drank for the rest of my days.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
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OMG, Satan IS everywhere. I was playing on-line Ouija last night, and I asked him where he was, and he replied "in your pants." No freaking joke.
"Last week, I sawr a film, as I recall it was a horror film."- Andy Samberg
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 9:44pm.
He's acting like Pamela Anderson and Dina Lohan. Over the hill but trying to be young and hip. Ouch. It hurts to watch.
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Pssht, Pammy and Dinasaurus over the hill???? Yeah, more like under the hill....DEAD.TO.RELEVANCE.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
tom may be gay, crazy, whatever... I DON´T CARE!!! HE´S HAWT!
**whatever**
ZOMG! Mish!!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 9:40pm.
I just envisioned Tommy girl and JT in their undies singing "I like that old time rock n roll."
I will now go wash out my brain with lye.
On topic: My topic was - Tommy wants to be in a musical. He said it on TV.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
"Why the fuck was Tommy Girl on The Hills' after-show last night? Why the fuck does The Hills even have an after-show? Actually, why the fuck does The Hills even exist at all?
Only Satan knows the answers to these questions and he's smoking a bowl with a Spaghetti Cat (he's everywhere) right now, so we'll have to ask him later."
MK you are genius. GENIUS!
But seriously, why the fuck did they moronically show him that picture?!
I never thought I'd say this but those two guys on MOD need to put on pants. ASAP.
Is Tommy Girl attempting to "dance" in the last couple thumbnails? Please make it stop ... it makes me uncomfortable.
He's acting like Pamela Anderson and Dina Lohan. Over the hill but trying to be young and hip. Ouch. It hurts to watch.
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 9:18pm.
They could duet with
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I want a girl
just like the girl
who married
dear old dad.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
while gazing lovingly in each others eyes.
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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I watched that last night and thought I was watching the Soup. "get..the girl...the wedding. yeah" BWHAHAHAHA what a tool
WOW. File this under: major fuckery
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:51pm.
He wants to sing. He wants to dance. Methinks he wants to be closer to that Travolta guy. "Hit the Road, Jack" has got to mean something in their, ahem, secret language so you might, by pure luck, be on to something.
However, I prefer your entire, sort of, rendition. :)
"Wouldn't it be Loverly?" ♪♪♪♪♪♪
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:34pm.
Tommy wants to be in a musical.
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Let's pray that the movie's theme is
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Hit the road, Jack.
And don't you come back
No more, no more.
Hit the road, Jack.
And don't you come back.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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HOPEFULLY NO ONE WILL SEE IT AND HE WILL GO AWAY... TO THE LAND OF OZ
Hahaha! Yeah, Tom. Follow the yellow brick road... to hell!
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:16pm.
my dick is bigger than Tommy Girl's
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LOL
Tommy wants to be in a musical. He said it, yesterday, on Much Music, when he was here in Toronto. He also said he wants 10 children.
I sent the whole story to MK. Get on his ass about why he hasn't used it yet. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
Wow. Tommy Girl needs to fire his agent ASAP. A gig on the Hills Aftershow??? That spells DESPERATE.
TG HAZ A MOVIE COMING OUT REAL SOON GET USED TO HIS SHORTNESS EVERYWHERE....HOPEFULLY NO ONE WILL SEE IT AND HE WILL GO AWAY... TO THE LAND OF OZ
Ugh, and I forgot to mention that with Tommy talking about them, it will make Heidi and Spencer think that they are that much more relevant... and it'll make it that much harder to make them go away for good.
I'm sure that within 48 hours, we'll see a staged, Tommy-Girl themed pap shoot from them. Spencer will probably dress up like Tommy in Born on the Fourth of July and Heidi will dress up like him in Risky Business or Cocktail or some other bullshit.
Like Spencer would even care what Tom had to say. PFFT.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:15pm.
Do you two need a Dr. Phil intervention?
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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I really don't know what to say anymore about this butt plug. If Tom Cruise was a real actor, and not a shameless publicity whore, he wouldn't be going on The Hills after-show to talk about some nobody reality cunts. I don't see Philip Seymour Hoffman, James McAvoy, Robert Downey Jr., Edward Norton, etc. doing shit like this.
Tommy Girl just gets sadder as the years go on. Trying to stay relevant.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:18pm.
Yo, Katie!!! Why aren't you where I left you?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
DIRTY UP SOMETHING ELSE LORY
TOMMY IS SOOO SHORT I WONDER HOW BIG HIS LIFTS ARE.... .. WHERE DID YOU LEAVE ME?
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:16pm.
my dick is bigger than Tommy Girl's
LOL...it undoubtedly is! Tommy thought he had three hairs until one of them peed.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
I didn't know Tom was a judge for the Pants-Off Dance-Off! Or did those guys just Jizz in Their Pants? Or are they just on the Pamela Anderson fashion train?
Yo, Katie!!! Why aren't you where I left you?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
my dick is bigger than Tommy Girl's
Momus, don't make excuses for ME. She's been behaving like a sorry excuse for a sex slave as of late. She hasn't returned the nipple clamps yet!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:08pm.
Maybe it was the decor and M.E.'s just shopping around. ;)
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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I'm waiting for the remake of Top Gun. You just KNOW that Zac Efron will be playing Maverick.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:05pm.
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We HAD a room, M.E. just left it in order to sniff other crotches... Hor!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
He SO wanted to say: What? He din't get a contract? No contract, no wedding - it's simple, Spence.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the same team?!
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
Can the Hills of Clearwater be far behind?
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Merry christmas and a happy go to hell… House.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 7:59pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 7:57pm.
Methinks that you two need to get a room. ;)
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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i think the bigger question is - why does tommy girl still exist?