Oprah Has Fallen Off The Skinny Wagon
Oooooprah has had an epic battle weight the chunk for eternity and she's been very honest about it with her legions of followers. For a while there, Oprah was at her "ideal weight" thanks to personal trainers, chefs, airbrush artists (see above), lipo-technicians, colonic experts, priests, magic elves and Gayle King. Well, Oprah now says she's fallen off the wagon and weighs 200lbs. Her BMI is 31.8 which is considered obese by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
In the January issue of O Magazine (via NY Times), she writes, "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, 'How did I let this happen again?'"
Oprah went on to write that she gained 60 pounds in 2 years because an out-of-balance thyroid condition made her scared of working out. She said she knew shit wasn't right when she almost missed a taping with Cher and Tina Turner, because she felt like a "fat cow."
Oprah is now taking action....again. During the week of January 5th, she will bring her personal trainer, sex therapists, spiritual experts and Suze Orman on to her show to talk about healthy living.
How does this happen to Oprah? She's the mighty OPRAH! She can do anything. Can't she just demand that her fat cells leave her body immediately? Or maybe she can pay off the CDC to declare that a BMI of 31.8 is perfect and anyone above or below that is not worthy.
And she can easily drop a ton of useless fat from her life by ordering Dr. Phil to leave the fucking planet.
ShareThis
Sounds like Photoshop at Oprah's magazine isn't working....that's why she gained all the weight.
It's called an eating disorder. She doesn't need dietitians, trainers, etc... she needs good old-fashioned therapy.
Farrah on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 1:59pm.
Submitted by kdracofan on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 1:55pm
damn, i've been looking for you, chica! i was at a bookstore yesterday and they already have the 2009 planners. There's a very cool one of...dun dun... FRIDA! i immediately thought of you!
-----------------
*waves at Farrah* You did!? Ironically I was looking at my calendar in my office and realized I am yet to get my new one.
Thank you for the reminder and for thinking of moi
:)!
Submitted by la coocaracha on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:11pm
You might have AIDS....definately not the flu though....unless you get sick RIGHT after you get the shot, then its flu. Anything other delayed sickness is something besides the flu...
Oh don't be fucking ridiculous! Of COURSE you can still get the flu after getting the flu shot, dumbass. After you get the flu shot your immune system produces antibodies against the strains of virus in THAT PARTICULAR vaccine. You can still get the flu from a different strain of virus. Telling people they might have AIDS is un-fucking-believable!!
A lot of good those so called diet specialists do her and those personal trainers and private chefs.
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
I think she started emotional eating after Barack Obama told her he wasn't going to leave his wife for her.
Oprah is in love with Obama and she's pissed that she can't be his First Lady. If Obama was willing to leave the "blackice princess" Michelle for her, Oprah would bounce her fat ass all over Barack, leaving her "beard", Stedman, in the dust.
Yeah, tell me the "slim" Oprah in that pic isn't photoshopped!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/hes_so_blind
She looks the same size as Ricki Lake, who's claiming to be 130 and 5'4". Good for you Oprah for telling the damn truth. Feels like Oprah's weight has been it's own celebrity my whole life so I'm sick of it, but all these other women lie. Just don't do interviews about your weight if you can't tell the truth. Don't go out telling magazines you're 130 when you're not.
I feel bad, though. I eat pounds of candy and I'm really lazy. I can't use an exercise machine for more than a minute. Sweating is so undignified to me, and endorphins aren't a good enough high to suffer for. I'll pay for my highs with cash like any sane person would. If I had to suffer all week to lose 3 pounds and I had a hundred to go, I'd give up and go to krispy kreme too.
(TITS that's funny cause I ate so much peanut butter fudge last night I'm still sort of nauseous. I couldn't wait for it to set totally so it was peanut butter sludge.)
Do we need a press announcement that Oprah has gotten fat again? I think we are all in on the jig here. Her ass is the size of Chicago. Duh, Oprah, we don't need you to call a special news flash to the size of your girth.
Maybe she can get Dr. Phil's dieting book. Oh, that's right, he's a fat ass too.
Why do people look to Oprah and Dr. Phil for weight loss advice. They are obviously losing that battle, both of them!
Wake up call, people. Maybe they really don't know what the hell they are talking about?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 3:29pm.
Howard Stern gave the best diet advice years ago:
"Shut your fucking mouth."
---------------------------
Simple, yet effective... :D
That reminds me of what Richard Jeni used to say:
"Stop eating you fat bastard."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Howard Stern gave the best diet advice years ago:
"Shut your fucking mouth."
loves it.
***********************************************
I'm so happy, that you love me
Life is lovely, when you're near me
Tell me you will stay, make me smile...
- Chicago "Make Me Smile"
Wait a second cock roach. You are actually trying to pass off your aids talk on South Park?
Who do you think you are fooling here?
You told a very detailed, very disgusting story about "your friend" you say you miss so much and AIDS.
We read it. It is still posted right where you left it!
Youre not talking about it because of fucking cartman.
Enough of your bull shit already woman. Get some help!
No siggie! I smoked it!
fuckin-a soul, right?? damn!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
magazine named after yourself,
articles inside all about yourself
= huge friggin EGO TRIP omg.
~~~~\^_c/~~~~~~
"Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from Heaven afar"
Submitted by jim on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 3:24pm.
yeah jim yeah jim its yo birfday yeah jim
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
FAT LOUDMOUTH RACIST WHORE!!
BondageBarbie: "How did I let this happen again?"You ate to much fat ass."
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I SPIT UP MY COFFEE WHEN I READ THAT...LOL
I have no sympathy for Oprah.
She has enough money to hire a personal chef & trainer. That's all you need.
If I had her money I would be so cut.
She could hire someone to follow her around 24/7 to watch what she eats.
Whatever...
Im not even fucking kidding right now. Right after i typed the grudge/ring shit my computer screen DID FAIL.
Shit went all blank and thankfully we had another down in storage.
BITCH GET OUT OF MY POOTER SCREEN!
No siggie! I smoked it!
Dont you watch south park? Its been 20 yrs!!!!
*
LOL now i remember that! haven't watched cartman in ages.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Merry christmas and a happy go to hell… House.
Poor old Oprah. All the money in the money can't buy you peace of mind. Her fucked-up childhood is to blame for her weight.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
though she looked alot better in 2005,she didn't look that good with tight abs,and oprah gaining and losing weight over the years is what makes the world go round!
I don't even believe she was that small in the first place.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
"How did I let this happen again?"You ate to much fat ass.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:55pm.
I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, but karma's a bitch, and you're probably going to die of AIDS since you think it's so awesome to make fun of it. Have fun with that.
--------------------------------------
Dont you watch south park? Its been 20 yrs!!!!
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( o )( o )( ^ )( ^ )( < )( > )
SHOCKER!! Bear grylls *hot piece* of man vs. wild has been INJURED while on wilderness trek in Antartica! SHOCKER!!!
Submitted by la coocaracha on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:49pm.
You bitches should be scared. Instead of a tv, I might come through the comp. screen with a vial of TEH AIDS!!!
-------------------
I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, but karma's a bitch, and you're probably going to die of AIDS since you think it's so awesome to make fun of it. Have fun with that.
Submitted by sparkle586 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:03pm.
_________________________________________________
I have the exact same problem you do. If I exercise it seems like my stomach gets smaller but my boobs and butt stays the same. I have to constantly diet to stay at my ideal weight and if I pig out for a few days it seems like I put on 15 lbs. I also have a large chest and my doctor says my ideal weight is 150 even though to other people that may sound like too much. Maybe we're carrying 20 lbs of boobage around so our bodies are really at 130 lol...
Oprah could use some meth. Fergie and Jodie rave about the Jenny Crank diet.
OMG, my computer screen just went fuzzy.. *screeeeeams*
Circle Circle Dot Dot
Now I gots TEH COOTIE SHOT!
No siggie! I smoked it!
Submitted by LoLo on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:44pm.
Um Snow Piece i always think im in that movie the grudge when i see certin avies mmm hmmm!
----------------------------
You bitches should be scared. Instead of a tv, I might come through the comp. screen with a vial of TEH AIDS!!!
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( o )( o )( ^ )( ^ )( < )( > )
SHOCKER!! Bear grylls *hot piece* of man vs. wild has been INJURED while on wilderness trek in Antartica! SHOCKER!!!
Lo: LOL it's how I imagine Oprah's pussy looks.
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by LoLo on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:44pm.
i always think im in that movie the grudge when i see certin avies mmm hmmm!
----------------------------
My thoughts exactly. Hoiiiiiiiiik. I'm skeered.
Ohhhh Snow Piece and Carrot together with me again in these lower chats about oprahs ass!!!!
HOTNESS!
Um Snow Piece i always think im in that movie the grudge when i see certin avies mmm hmmm!
No siggie! I smoked it!
LoLo: that dude needs a good conditioner
He should try the one that comes with a free sample of TEH AIDS!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by LoLo on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:33pm.
That dude is ALWAYS talking about TEH AIDS!
AIDS this AIDS that!
Then that freaky ass story about being scared it had TEH AIDS!
Have a piece of aids pie!
How are your aids today!
Oh look Im ashley simpson and i named my baby Mowgli Bowl of AIDS!
AIDSHOLE!
-----------------------------
Wow. Lolo, I love you.
She's obviously an emotional eater. Just because the portions are enormous, and there's food everywhere at every event, doesn't mean you have to eat it. 1 800 Jenny! Oprah have you called???
I could have sworn that you used to have a mustache!
Submitted by la coocaracha on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:33pm.
Ta very much!
snark is assumed here, but I don't recall reading too many posts from you before so wasn't sure.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Merry christmas and a happy go to hell… House.
I think it's fairly safe to assume La Coocaracha is an asshole...an exceedingly dumb one, at that. Maybe you could give us some biology lessons on HIV and AIDS since you're soooo sciencey.
She has access to pretty much anything she wants, including chefs{whatever happened to Rosie?} and personal trainers.If I had her GD moohlah I'd hire the best lowfat cooks in the world and have my own sushi chef. She's just a fatass that likes to eat bad things.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:30pm.
You might have AIDS....definately not the flu though....
*
this isn't the first time you've posted the 'you might have aids' response.
are you joking? it's hard to tell. maybe you could add a little smiley face so we don't assume you're an asshole?
-------------------
;D
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( o )( o )( ^ )( ^ )( < )( > )
SHOCKER!! Bear grylls *hot piece* of man vs. wild has been INJURED while on wilderness trek in Antartica! SHOCKER!!!
That dude is ALWAYS talking about TEH AIDS!
AIDS this AIDS that!
Then that freaky ass story about being scared it had TEH AIDS!
Have a piece of aids pie!
How are your aids today!
Oh look Im ashley simpson and i named my baby Mowgli Bowl of AIDS!
AIDSHOLE!
No siggie! I smoked it!
Wow most women would not admit they weigh that much EVER! They'd probably subtract 10-15 lbs or something. I always say I'm 120 but I weigh a little more than that...maybe you should just state a range like 120-130 and just learn to live with it!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:22pm.
La coocaracha, Nice comeback. Telling people they might have AIDS. How awful of you! So basically your insides match you outside, Haggard witch.
_______________
Ditto...that was just wrong
Submitted by la coocaracha on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by Raven on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:05pm.
Submitted by sparkle586 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:03pm
yep ... i know what that's like . used to have 38ddd .. then went up to 40H ...had the breast reduction ... now i'm a cool 38c ... :)
i'm off to bed .. got the flu GD and even had the dam flu shot .. never again!!
--------------------------------------
You might have AIDS....definately not the flu though....
*
this isn't the first time you've posted the 'you might have aids' response.
are you joking? it's hard to tell. maybe you could add a little smiley face so we don't assume you're an asshole?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Merry christmas and a happy go to hell… House.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:22pm.
I know, she's totally talking about it, like she's paranoid she's going to get it or something. So immature.
Wahhhhh~~have another pie or 3 Orpha.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by Candy on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 1:46pm.
200 pounds just 'crept up' on her.
_______________________________
Holy crap, that sounds like a really scary movie. Whether the 200lbs was all fat, or just Oprah. I would totally need to change my shorts after that one.
La coocaracha, Nice comeback. Telling people they might have AIDS. How awful of you! So basically your insides match you outside, Haggard witch.
Oprah is lie-telling! She is way over 200 pounds! I guarantee that. She's at least 230-240 right now.