Which OC Housewife Is Leaving The Show Forever?!
I wasn't home last week, so I didn't get to see the first episode from the new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County. I watched both new episodes last night and it's nowhere near as hot as The Really Not Housewives of Atlanta, but it's a suitable distraction until Kim and NeNe come back into my life.
This season they added a new gold digger: 30-something Gretchen who is engaged to a wealthy old ass Kenny Rogers look-alike. Gretchen is a skilled gold digger who knows exactly how the game is played. She swears on her tacky diamond watch that she's not just with him for his money and that she really loves him. She admits that she wasn't really attracted to the rich pepaw at the beginning, but she slowly fell in love with his "personality." I speak fluent gold digging talk and "personality" just means "checking account." She's my people.
As much as I could grow to love Gretchen for her "personality," I wouldn't shed an invisible tear if she left the show. Next week, one of the housewives says goodbye to the show forever. I doubt it's Gretchen, but that's my fucking wish.
Vicki can't go, because she's a bitch and she looks like Droopy Dog's mom after a bad chemical peel. Her face makes me feel better about myself. Jeana can't go, because her son Shane is fucking hot. Laurie can't go because she makes me laugh until my penis farts when she tries to cry. Seriously, she bawls, but no tears come out of her Death Valley face!
The truth is, Laurie's probably leaving the show. She's going to say that she's so busy and has to take care of her crackhead son. Blah. Blah. Blah. When in fact she just has to go away to get another face transplant. That's the truth.
And there's no way Tamra can leave. That show will crumble without her. She is my hands-down favorite ever! The clip below is just one reason why I adore her. When Gretchen says she's been divorced before, Tamra asks her if she left her first husband because he was poor. I love that bitch!
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"Someone needs to identify who is who based on the color of the dress above. I'm sort of curious. Sickened by my curiosity, but still."
Viki= lavender
Jeana= Green
Tamara= Pink
Lori= Fuschia (the long dress)
Gretchen= Yellow
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
I hope it's that Miss Piggy look-a-like Vicki. I can't stand her constantly tapping on her laptop or Blackberry, "I've been selling insurance forever, " my kids are the best, let's go to Cabo! Voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard rich bitch ass! All the other women are ok...but I'm gonna need them to stop with these Forver21/Charlotte Russe prom dress season photo shoots.
and yes, Jeana's son Shane is a hot piece...did you see his body this season...DAMN! He's a douche, but he could totally take third base with me.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Ive never watched this show. Who do we hate? They all look pretty disposable to me.
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Why are the dressed up like Life-Savers?
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
I think it's going to be Gretchen. I think her husband is going to get bad news about his cancer (gretchen will breathe a sigh of relief that all her tampering with his medications has worked! He's going to die!) and he will want to move back to Detroit or wherever the hell they were from, so he can be near his kids for his final days.
That's my prediction and I'm sticking to it.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
why can't they all go?
I can't imagine wasting an afternoon with women like this. Honestly my dogs provide more intellectually stimulating company.
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
probably Lori =) she doesn't "live in Coto with all the rules". and "never sees her friend Viki".
zzzzzzzzzz
Viki= NeNe
Jeana= DeShawn
Tamara= Lisa
Lori= Sheree
Gretchen= Kim
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"Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,"
they all have lame personalities. I cant stomach their vapid daughters either.
Someone needs to identify who is who based on the color of the dress above. I'm sort of curious. Sickened by my curiosity, but still.
no idea who these people are, but I'm guessing the brunette is the one with the HS diploma.
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Is it me, or do they look like the local cherry boys in drag
LMAO, Nanners!
Those dresses look like cheap prom dresses.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
"Which OC Housewife Is Leaving The Show Forever?!"
The blonde one!
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!