Afternoon Crumbs

Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:36pm.

Dot!!!
"Reply hazy. Try again later." Pffffffffft!!!!
-
lol!

Or more realistic:

"Today is a good day to keep the guns locked up."
"Smile. You haven't killed anyone...yet."
"If you think reading this is awkward just think how I felt writing this."
"Sundayyyyyyyy. Bloody Sundayyyyyyyyyy."
"You smell funny. Please wash that."

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:42pm.
Goddamn, I've just had an epiphany...what about maxi pads with biblical quotes on them, and Chestica can be the spokeswhore??? LMAO
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Oh no, don't give them any ideas!

"Kfed done stole mah bebe's"

Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:06pm.
___________________________

You've come to the right place my dear! Here's my advice:

First and foremost, if breast cancer is something that runs in your family, don't try this at home! Most of the herbs I list are high in estrogen, and elevated estrogen levels can cause breast cancer in people who have a family history of it. Health and wellbeing > everythign else.

Here's my list:

1)Flax seed oil (some people think this reduces the chances of breast cancer, so this is a good one)
2) Parsley: Wash and eat, or boil it in water to make it more potent.
3) Red Clover tea
4)Onions. Eat them raw whenever you can.
5)Lavender oil. Dab it on your wrists. You'll smell delicious and it's supposed to make the boobies grow!
6)Pomegranates
7)Chamomile...try chamomile tea!

When you start ingesting this stuff, make sure you exercise your boobs by rotating them in circles. That supposedly helps. I've never actually tested this out, but I know a few friends who swear by some of these herbs. Also, my grandmother (who is into home remedies and witch doctors) swears by some of these plants as well.

By the way, I have to warn you that if you're trying to get pregnant, stay away from this stuff.

Let me know how it goes!

"Kfed done stole mah bebe's"

Goddamn, I've just had an epiphany...what about maxi pads with biblical quotes on them, and Chestica can be the spokeswhore??? LMAO

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Writing on a maxi pad? Whats it gonna be like those diapers..... when the little pictures fade its time to change it?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mrs. G, that was great! I like the "Vehicular manslaughter is wrong" part. :)

Lesson 1 Jeffro - never bring up this shit on a board of mostly women unless you are fully prepared to endure the wrath.

*MWAH*

*hugs and kisses*

Evan Rachel Wood just does nothing for me,she isn't that pretty

Adriana Lima is hot and rumored to be a virgin a total yum

MiserAlba is wearing one of those charm bracelet belt dresses Beyonce had on last week.It must be a trend.

Jamie Lynn Spears is totally white trash

Vadge is scary but had a way better plastic surgeon than Pricilla Presley

I hope A-Rod gets what he deserves

The bronze partout is the gift that keeps on giving

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

http://www.myspace.com/384080529

Dot!!!
"Reply hazy. Try again later." Pffffffffft!!!!

Jeffro,
Sorry. I despise that "Have a happy period" bitch!

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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:24pm.
here's some more bullshit...my company makes printheads that go into commercial printers...print on pretty much anything. Some folks from Proctor & Gamble were in to discuss the possiblity of printing 'something' on maxi-pads.

Now I've been bored enough whilst on the throne to read the back of the Glade can, but that's about as far as I go. WTF would you write a pad..."Have a Nice Day?"??
*************************************************

OH HELL FUCKING NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Jeffro, been there with the Glade can, shampoo bottle, whaterver is within reach. LMAO)

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:24pm.

here's some more bullshit...my company makes printheads that go into commercial printers...print on pretty much anything. Some folks from Proctor & Gamble were in to discuss the possiblity of printing 'something' on maxi-pads.

==> A few weeks ago I went away on my annual girls (think grannies) weekend (21st year). A couple of the girls thought it would be funny to give each of us a special "gift"... A personalized DEPENDS, decorated with glitter stickers and an individual message written on the crotchal area in sharpie pen. Mine read "PLEASURE BOX".

They figured the idea was really gonna take off.

*sighs*

*shoves overly festive red dress back in bag*

*heads off to Marshall's to return it*

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan

So I guess my point is that a reputable, responsible doctor probably would not have done the surgery on an underage teenager.
JL should be worried, lipo depletes the body of iron majorly.
Sorry to break into the tampon discussion...obviously the marketing geniuses are men.

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If hip hop didn't pay, I'd rap for free

Submitted by KD on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:25pm.

This might be TMI, but I don't think mine are as bad as most. Just the first day feels like someone is fisting my uterus
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*mental note to self: if it seems like a slow chat day...SHUT THE FUCK UP, JEFFRO!*

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Dont Kill me for the long post lol but I had to post it!

This is an actual letter from an Austin , TX woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and dow n the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.&n bsp;

Have you ever had a menstrual l period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I w anted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a me nstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will no t for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

____________________________________________
Happy Holidays

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:24pm.

WTF would you write a pad..."

**
a picture of my ex-husband would be appropriate.

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:24pm.

Now I've been bored enough whilst on the throne to read the back of the Glade can, but that's about as far as I go. WTF would you write a pad..."Have a Nice Day?"??
-

Fortune cookie/magic 8-ball notes on maxi pads! hahahaha! "This is your lucky day." "Your current prospects look promising." "Yes."

*giggles incessantly*

Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:06pm.
Submitted by itsthebritneybitch on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:55pm.
There's also a shitload of herbal supplements that elevate estrogen in the body and make the boobies grow!

Does that shit really work???

I started using birth control just so they would make my boobies bigger (shut up I know) All they did was make me sick as fuck

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I too first started taking the pill so my boobs would grow, I´ve tried a few brands and the only one that made my boobs seem a bit bigger also made my head throb so I had to give it up...

I even spent like 500 dollars or so on some herbal estrogen shit! I didn´t notive any difference by taking it, although maybe I would have had to take it for a longer period, it got banned in my country shortly after it was marketed here, not very reassuring... I did find out though that you should not drink while you´re taking it... it made me fucking crazy and aggressive as hell.

Wow, Madge's face is becoming more and more fascinating to watch.

Okay, here goes...when I had lipo I researched the procedure and the doctor extensively.
My doctor DID test for pregnancy...I had to pee on a stick the day of the procedure BUT my doctor would NOT have done the procedure on someone that young. He was REPUTABLE!
I have NO sympathy for the idiot celebrities that end up with effed up surgery, they have way more money than I and can't spend a day or two researching their surgeon.???? My doctor was more expensive but worth it.

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If hip hop didn't pay, I'd rap for free

Jeffro- I hate ALL commercials for period products. THough, I must admit, when I was younger it was fun to watch my brother smother himself with a couch pillow every time one came on.

This might be TMI, but I don't think mine are as bad as most. Just the first day feels like someone is fisting my uterus, but after that it's smooth sailing. Although, I think it's starting to stretch out into the first day and a half.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:02pm.

Sad world we live in, eh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

Jeffro
I am a little sensitive about the issue because I thought that Auntie Flo had made her LAST visit three months ago and then that bitch shows up on my doorstep on Sunday night without so much as a "howdy do."
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.

dottay and I are having a kitteh lick-a-thon.

here's some more bullshit...my company makes printheads that go into commercial printers...print on pretty much anything. Some folks from Proctor & Gamble were in to discuss the possiblity of printing 'something' on maxi-pads.

Now I've been bored enough whilst on the throne to read the back of the Glade can, but that's about as far as I go. WTF would you write a pad..."Have a Nice Day?"??

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Sandbitch! We have matchin' pudday tats! haha!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:20pm.

lol! I've been married 22 years and my husband still tells me, "It's just not normal to bleed for 7 days and live." LMAO

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:17pm.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:11pm.
Hey I've got a 'female' question...WTF is with the tampon commercials making it sound like being on your period is FUN?
^^^
PROPAGANDA!!!!!!!

=> Whaaaaaat? That's the most outrageous thing I've read this year. If I saw one of those ads - I'd hurl something at the telly. Probably my pelvis.

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER! *cowering behind desk*

I've been married for 13 years, I KNOW what Grumpy Times are like, and there sure as fuck ain't no frolicking on the beach in a bikini!

Friggin 'happy period' commercial came on last month, I thought the wife was going to throw a lamp thru the TV!

Personally, I think it's a bad message to send- not just to women (who know the truth), but to those young guys who don't understand why you aren't 'in the mood' during Grumpy Times.

Just tryin to help!

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:11pm.
Hey I've got a 'female' question...WTF is with the tampon commercials making it sound like being on your period is FUN?
^^^
PROPAGANDA!!!!!!!

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.

drama - I know you weren't questioning, and since I've never had any cosmetic surgery or lipo, I could very well be wrong.

But I do know that there are a lot of other "medical" proceedures that are done just based upon a questionairre.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:11pm.

Hey I've got a 'female' question...WTF is with the tampon commercials making it sound like being on your period is FUN?
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Hell if I know, 'fro! I'm still confused over the brand name "always" for pads. Someone has a sick, sick, sick sense of humor. -And, it gets worse...now there is Always "infinity"...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *shoots self*

Jeffro!!!!
I HATE that commercial!!! "Have a happy period!" Eat me lady!!

Have a happy crampy bloaty 4 days of wanting to rip your uterus out!!!!

Um, sorry.

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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.

Jeffro - It's false advertisement at it's finest.

Must be slattet towards the tweens who have yet to experience the wrath of Aunt Flo.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:11pm.

Lmao I have a really funny e-mail that would explain this to you Jeffro unfortunatly i think its to long and cant post it on here

____________________________________________
Happy Holidays

Hahaha! The actual brand of the 'bronze partout' is Raidoree which means Goldenkrak (i'm translating the willingly mispelt brand)

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"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson

Hey I've got a 'female' question...WTF is with the tampon commercials making it sound like being on your period is FUN?

------------------------------------------------
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Submitted by itsthebritneybitch on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:55pm.
There's also a shitload of herbal supplements that elevate estrogen in the body and make the boobies grow!

Does that shit really work???

I started using birth control just so they would make my boobies bigger (shut up I know) All they did was make me sick as fuck

____________________________________________
Happy Holidays

good. The ginger hair is an improvement but the Von Cheese baby powder is still here. She obviously hasn't finished her cooling off period.

________________

"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:52pm.

But I can't imagine, w/ malpractice insurance sky-high & the US as litigious as it is (& the Spears' penchant for finding someone else to blame), that a doctor would perform any procedure w/o some tests.
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one word, Drama...MONEY. The hospital that treated Plax Burress in NYC is now in some deep shit cuz the doc treated him under a false name and failed to report a gunshot wound to the police, which is law as well. Obviously PB or one of his crew flashed a shitload of cash while in the ER.

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

Hot damn. I could write on a chalkboard with Rachel's face.

Wow, Rod's rod keeps getting shorter and shorter. And who gives a flying fuck, well, I guess Rod does. Sad old man, money just gets you what you can get.

Evan Rachel Wood: What the hell did she do? Dunk her face in flour?

Jamie Lynn Spears: She's a Spears girl, need I say more?

Miseralba: She's usually so cute, what teh heck did she do to herself? Man, the ugly stick just keeps making the rounds in Hollywood, wacking these bitches hard.

Posh: Who?

Adriana Lima: The one woman I'd turn lesbian for. MK, there are so many ways to make your boobies look big. First, when it's that time of the month, boobies grow magically on their own. Sometimes, to the point where you feel like a cow. Second, you can wear silicone inserts. Third, you can stuff crew socks in your bra. Fourth, when wearing clothing over your bra, you can wear two push-up bras. For women in magazine, there's photoshop. Also, wearing a bra one size too small gives you some crazyyy cleavage, even if you have A-cups! Also, birth-control pills make boobies appear larger as well. There's also a shitload of herbal supplements that elevate estrogen in the body and make the boobies grow!

"Kfed done stole mah bebe's"

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:47pm.

That's amazing to me. You'd think they'd be opening themselves up to all kinds of lawsuits.

Not just lying on the questionnaire -- what if you really don't know? I got my 1 & only (tiny) tattoo before I knew I was pregnant, & I was terrified.

That, I can understand just using a questionnaire for -- it's not a medical procedure. But I can't imagine, w/ malpractice insurance sky-high & the US as litigious as it is (& the Spears' penchant for finding someone else to blame), that a doctor would perform any procedure w/o some tests.

(Not questioning you, ME, just surprised!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

Even Tainted Woods, youre a fucking joke.
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Her (JamieLynn) first kid was already born, wasn't it? If it was true they would probably notice issues by now, which could probably be associated with other factors, too, like eating fish and paint chips, and roasted rats that were caught using rat poison.

Editted to add: I am KD, QUEEN of run-on sentences!

Drama - from what I understand, when you go to get cosmetic surgery, the questionairre you fill out, that ASKS all those things, is what the doctors rely on for accurate information.

Heaven forbid someone LIES on one of those things.

we haven't seen Shitney Lite on the tabloids in a while, what's the over/under line for her getting knocked up again?

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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!

The Spears family is bunch of winners, no? They truly owe any success they have to satan. There is no other explanation. They are the devil's handiwork.

"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight

Wouldn't they do some kind of blood tests before doing lipo injections, in the even that someone oh, I don't know, didn't know they were knocked up, or was on some kind of medication that might cause a bad reaction with the chemicals being injected into the body?

Madonna is ridiculous. Nice example to your kids on the sactity of marriage, you holier than thou bitch.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247