Ivana Better Not Marry This One
Ivana Trump quit her fourth husband only 3 months ago and she's already got a new diaper-wearing boy toy to keep her turkey arms gobblin' at night. Ivana was in Paris last night with some 22-year-old model type who goes by the name of John-David Dery. Yes, he's 22 and she's fucking 59.
Ivana obviously loves the scent of baby powder on the nuts and John-David loves her money. And from the looks of him, he probably loves the scent of baby powder on the nuts too. The dude doesn't look like a vagina-only kind of boy.
This bitch is going to get her gold digging membership card revoked if she marries this one. Fuck it, ride it, suck it, eat it and then throw that shit away! She does not need any legal ties to that dick. His ass is going to do whatever it takes for her to say "I do." He'll even deal with her pissing on his dick during fucky times. Okay, let's talk about this for a quick second.
My horny aunt once told me that she couldn't hold her water during sex anymore. She actually said that she "wets on the penis" sometimes. I figured she meant she was just busting nuts, but she cleared it up for me, "No. I go #1." She actually said #1. We're talking about pissing during fucking and she tries to be all polite-like. Anyway, she said that in her old age, she has that problem now. I asked some other oldies about it and they said it never happens to them. So my aunt obviously just has a pissy pussy. For some reason when I saw these pictures of Ivana and her new piece, I thought of pissy pussy.
Here's Ivana, her plastic cat face and her toy at some restaurant in Paris last night.
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Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:26pm.
meemaw stank wonk = warm polyester with a hint of Chanel No. 5 and a light dusting of Aquanet
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and a soupçon of Dentucreme Denture Cleaning Paste
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Ivana looks flabulous. I wonder if she's wearing the half-rolled up to her knee stockings.
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I'm just here for the beer.
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:26pm.
meemaw stank wonk = warm polyester with a hint of Chanel No. 5 and a light dusting of Aquanet
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I think that warm polyester gets moist in the cratches..
Just the thought of that makes me wanna unwedge my wedgie...
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:26pm.
meemaw stank wonk = warm polyester with a hint of Chanel No. 5 and a light dusting of Aquanet
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I think that warm polyester gets moist in the cratches..
Just the thought of that makes me wanna unwedge my wedgie...
at first look i thought this boy toy douche was some designer hangin out with her. i had no idea it was her "man?" hahhaha. i love it. too funny.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:25pm.
Mrs. K, Minch is a mensch!
^^
Minch is a momzer!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
meemaw stank wonk = warm polyester with a hint of Chanel No. 5 and a light dusting of Aquanet
Mrs. K, Minch is a mensch! What a doll. In my business, I love the garden pics the best.
I'd like to amend my previous statement. I'd do the same fucking thing as Ivana, but with much better arms, much better style, and a straight boy toy.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:22pm.
More than cute. Adorable!
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Submitted by Zappy on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:22pm.
I don't mind at all!
Minch is all about love and joy.
He was about 10 weeks old when I took that picture of him with the cement cat. I had just gotten him and I never felt so much love for a living thing in my entire life.
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
MK, that pissy-pussy killed me. Back on topic....that dude is NOT 22. Wel maybe he is, but more 22 going on 35.
Hope you don't mind Mrs. Kravitz, but I had to take a peek at yer little pooch..I really love the pic by 'cement cat'..he reminds me of a little school boy who doesn't want his picture taken. We have a big goofy yellow lab here. Dogs (pets) are the best...very goofy but great companions.
I'm leaving this damn thread. All out of clean underpants.
*puts on rubber diaper cover*
*Refreshes thread*
*gets concerned side-eye from coffee house owner*
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:20pm.
oh he's been here plenty. I can't believe you've never seen him before.
Cute, huh?
♥
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:18pm.
So that's the (in)famous Minch. Finally, he makes his dlisted debut. He is a cutie!
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Academy Awards at DListed go to all listed below.
Thanks to you hobags, I am weeping, wailing, and pissing myself with laughter.
Out loud, no-dignity, can't breathe, side-clutching laughter.
And it HURTS dammit!
@TITS--'Growing ear hair like an owl" ?? WTF ??
I am in agony over this laughter pain. Stop it!
.......
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:02pm.
Submitted by Jan_In_The_Pan on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:02pm.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:02pm.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:09pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:09pm.
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:13pm.
Mrs. K., who's the cute poochie?
I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG, MINCH [the official dog of dlisted.com]
That's my boy, the funniest, smartest, cutest dog in the entire universe.
He is a real character. I tell people he is a mix
-- half spawn of the devil and half pain in the ass.
He is a pistol.
Take a look, doll.
http://pets.webshots.com/album/189950646xljRdk?vhost=pets
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Deb: you are right; they are ALL babies.
.(dot): lmao @ 'pool boy's work out'
Submitted by Leona on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:11pm.
It's an oldie, but a goodie.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Ivana, forget the plastic surgery on your face, best get to wearing outfits with sleeves to cover up those saggy, flabby, upper arms. Hell, Donald's comb over looks better wrapped around his head like a new age Mr. Softee
LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:10pm.
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Well hopefully God will make Ivana and Hugh Hefner roommates in Heaven. They deserve each other.
There's some serious gelatinous wobble goin on with those arms..makes me wanna chew whale blubbuh!
Do these shoes make my ass look fat?
Mrs. K., who's the cute poochie?
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Submitted by kdracofan on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:09pm.
And her arms? Omg. Wtf! Isn't there any sort of surgery to fix that? Ew.
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I knowwwwww. Gross huh? That's what happens when you have servants to do everything for you including lift your fork to your mouth. She probably has a pool boy that works out for her. "Tank you, dahlink. I'm spent. Vaught a verkout!"
Oh, GIRL! Direct hit!
.........
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:09pm.
So what's it taste like when you go down on Ivana, John-David?"
"Depends."
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:08pm.
"I'm Just a Gigolo"
^^
Louis Prima, baby, Louis Prima!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
zomay on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:03pm.
Maybe he thinks Ivana is a man.
- A man with lots of money, just wait until she tells him he has to be pregnant.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
So what's it taste like when you go down on Ivana, John-David?"
"Depends."
BAH-na-BAH!
Seriously, MK, you got it all wrong. The author of the phrase, "Don't get mad, get EVERYTHING, Darling," has already been there, done that.
She's set for life. I'd do the same fucking thing. They're ALL babies. Might as well get you a fresh one!
I do think "Dery" is short for "Derriere", though.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I have heard tell of the pissy pussy phenom before.
*weeps silently*
WEREN'T THE CHIN AND NIPPLE HAIRS BAD ENOUGH?!??!??!!!
on the plus side, at least i'm not balding or growing ear hair like an owl.
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
Damn! He is hot in a 'pedo/lucite-heel-lover/way'
And her arms? Omg. Wtf! Isn't there any sort of surgery to fix that? Ew.
O and 'pissy-pussy' is the word of the day
P.S. Please show Beyonce that Ivanna gets rid of pit hair as all refined bitch ho sluts should do (see thumbnail #7.
Do these shoes make my ass look fat?
Will they play David Lee Roth's "I'm Just a Gigolo" at the wedding?
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
************************************************
Why is she wearing a figure skating outfit?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
It's been my understanding for some time that women are supposed to be wet during sex.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:02pm.
She has meemaw stank wonk.
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lmao @ meemaw stank wonk...today an elderly patient came in the office and had to wait for a ride..and that's zackly how you'd splain it loocy...'meemaw stank wonk'..I just wanted to put a gas mask on..it was giving me the shivers!...brrrr.
Do these shoes make my ass look fat?
. on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:04pm.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:03pm.
Maybe he thinks Ivana is a man.
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LMAO! Trannyliciousness! -And, RRRRICH!
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It's possible. :)
he's too beautiful to be straight, word.
and she's gastly. ghastly I mean, I think.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Gay!
Live NYC shows on RealityBedroom
www.realitybedroom.com
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:03pm.
Maybe he thinks Ivana is a man.
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LMAO! Trannyliciousness! -And, RRRRICH!
Maybe he thinks Ivana is a man.
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Look at those arms...gak! Push ups, girlfriend!
The age is the last thing I noticed...my gaydar on the other hand went off.
Ivana, Ivana, Ivana. *shakes head*
She has meemaw stank wonk.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Surely she can afford sleeves. Some arms ain't meant to be seen. Ack.
He looks very, very, very gay. And he has Japanese anime character hair.
Mr. 22 looks like YOU, MK.
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
TMI Michael K. :) I still love ya though.
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