Ivana Better Not Marry This One
Ivana Trump quit her fourth husband only 3 months ago and she's already got a new diaper-wearing boy toy to keep her turkey arms gobblin' at night. Ivana was in Paris last night with some 22-year-old model type who goes by the name of John-David Dery. Yes, he's 22 and she's fucking 59.
Ivana obviously loves the scent of baby powder on the nuts and John-David loves her money. And from the looks of him, he probably loves the scent of baby powder on the nuts too. The dude doesn't look like a vagina-only kind of boy.
This bitch is going to get her gold digging membership card revoked if she marries this one. Fuck it, ride it, suck it, eat it and then throw that shit away! She does not need any legal ties to that dick. His ass is going to do whatever it takes for her to say "I do." He'll even deal with her pissing on his dick during fucky times. Okay, let's talk about this for a quick second.
My horny aunt once told me that she couldn't hold her water during sex anymore. She actually said that she "wets on the penis" sometimes. I figured she meant she was just busting nuts, but she cleared it up for me, "No. I go #1." She actually said #1. We're talking about pissing during fucking and she tries to be all polite-like. Anyway, she said that in her old age, she has that problem now. I asked some other oldies about it and they said it never happens to them. So my aunt obviously just has a pissy pussy. For some reason when I saw these pictures of Ivana and her new piece, I thought of pissy pussy.
Here's Ivana, her plastic cat face and her toy at some restaurant in Paris last night.
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her arms scare me...
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:34pm.
You can't just bait us like that.... What is it in Fr-Canadian?
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:32pm
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Thanks Sally. The word in French is *connard* which is not French Canadian so I wasn't sure. But when in doubt, *dickhead* covers all the bases.
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:54pm.
Wow, Joe, your translation (dickhead) of connard was damn close.
Here goes:
bugger, jackass, asshole, fucker, bastard, prick.
I think his buddies have him down pat. :)
I also think I'm going to start using that word a lot.
He looks like that Rodrigo Santoro dude. I'm gelatin of this old memaw.
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:29pm.
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Doesn't it always come down to maths! Drat it!
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
Suddenly, I'm reminded of a story by Clarise Lispector about a young man who has an affair with an old, grotesque woman who caters to his greed.
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:19pm.
"Drastically younger" means different things at different ages. When you're 18, 15 seems shockingly young. When you're 43, 40 seems like the same age. In my case, I use the "Glenn Miller" cutoff.
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True.
I was speaking of someone, like Ivana, who is clearly in her early 100s, dating this male prostitute who might be late 20s.
My buddy 'Ed' is 47, left his wife of 20 years and took up with this homewrecker/tramp/whore of 24. The only think they have in common is Ed's money and Ed's need to bang a young woman. (sorry, that's crass). They are both getting something out of it, but its not good. When either of those things runs out, the slut is at the door.
I'm old fashioned. I know that. And I'm good with it.
Cheers.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:54pm.
His secret : He has 780 « conquests » to his name.
Bio: 22 years old.
Let's say he became active at 14 (a bit early?). That's 98 conquests on average annually. No wonder he seems tired.
Submitted by Leona on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:03pm.
You gonna be mighty lonely, boo.
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Nope.
Married for more than a decade to my best friend who knows more than 5 complete Duran Duran songs, and a couple of Soft Cell ones too.
How could I possibly be lonely?
Cheers.
P.S. She doesn't exactly like my Andrew Dice Clay routine. 'Enjoy' might be strong too.
Submitted by TheStraightMan on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:00pm.
Maybe its just me, but any man or woman who dates those drastically younger than themselves scores high on my 'narcissistic asshole' chart.
I've stopped talking to buddies who started dating women who could easily be their children. To me its ugly.
"Drastically younger" means different things at different ages. When you're 18, 15 seems shockingly young. When you're 43, 40 seems like the same age. In my case, I use the "Glenn Miller" cutoff.
He must like his meat curtains with extra wrinkles.
the DUDE! abides...
Joe--
come now, quit frontin. have you ever known a woman who truly enjoyed an Andrew Dice Clay routine??
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
Momus,
Come. We save da king (aka MK)
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I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.
I think part of Mr Wonderful's fee was paid in drugs, he looks stoned.
MK, TMI on the horndog aunt but, since you brought it up, put "squirting" into your friendly neighborhood search engine, choose one from redtube and have a gander. Be sure to keep the sound on high.
and a soupçon of Dentucreme Denture Cleaning Paste
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But of course!
IT should pratice the 3 Fs. Find 'em, Fuck 'em, Forget 'em. I get the young dick appeal. Why the hell marry those tots?
Payday came and with it beer.
~~Rudyard Kipling~~
Submitted by TheStraightMan on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:00pm.
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Not saying I'm a cougar *coughspluttercough* but yes ITA. Duran Duran is the acid test. Nice post Mr StraightMan.
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
You gonna be mighty lonely, boo.
.....
Submitted by TheStraightMan on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 8:00pm.
If I had to date now, I would prefer a classy woman who can enjoy my Andrew Dice Clay routine
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
MK, Maybe your aunt was female ejaculating; it's been known to happen. No personal experience to speak of but I read about it somewhere.
Mrs K: Minch is adorable! :)
Maybe its just me, but any man or woman who dates those drastically younger than themselves scores high on my 'narcissistic asshole' chart.
I've stopped talking to buddies who started dating women who could easily be their children. To me its ugly.
If I had to date now, I would prefer a classy woman who can enjoy my Andrew Dice Clay routine and sing at least 3 Duran Duran choruses. You don't get that in the under 30 set...You just don't.
Cheer you horny old cougar, cheers.
gross.
Ew. Is that really sexy for him...?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Wonder how much she paid for the dinner + After Dinner sexy time with that piece.
Ew douchebag for the plastic memaw! PERFECT!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
momus, it's the latest Brad topic.
OMG. Ivana. Does your dignity mean nothing to you?!
Submitted by George_ on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:31pm.
Here's his profile :
http://secret-story.programme-tv.net/secret-story-2/candidats/55-john-da...
Okay it's in french, but you'll be able to see a video and Thanks god images speak for themselves.
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Here's a translation of his bio (taken from his stay in the *Big Brother* type reality show):
To summarize : A charmer
His secret :He has 780 « conquests » to his name.
Bio: 22 years old. Paris. Lives with his Mom – the only person that he respects.
Job: Model; Doesn’t like authority.
Favorite quote: My buddies call me *Dickhead*
"In the house, nobody tells me what to do"
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PS Really no idea of accurate translation of *connard* so I used a good ole Aussie term *dickhead*; You get the general drift.
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
she has some serious palstic face. i'm sure he just likes her money or fame.
He is just a manwhore for hire... there is no other reason why in gods green earth he is with her
look at her arm compared to her plastic surgery face, yuk... WTF can't people accept the age they are and not try to be something they are not... everyone has their time to be young
Submitted by Creemy on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:45pm.
Which thread at Just Jared?
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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off topic: some brangie whore over at Just Jared tried slamming MK. I'm banned so I can't get'em back. #100 if anyone is in a mean mood.
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:36pm.
The guy is younger than her daughter. I know European men supposedly don't care about age (what about sex?) but come on those up close shots are not hot.
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Light switches. Remember, "all [pussy] cats are gray in the dark".
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:35pm.
Cheers! See, if you were Ivana, you wouldn't have to run to the bathroom. ;)
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
well.
You are all going to be eating merde when these two get married and make beautiful bebés together.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Submitted by George_ on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:31pm.
Thanks for the link. Un connard, sans doute!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by George_ on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:28pm.
Thanks for the douche-tastic video.
The guy is younger than her daughter. I know European men supposedly don't care about age (what about sex?) but come on those up close shots are not hot.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:33pm.
finding a way to make a cedilla!
^^
copy and paste, my friend, copy and paste...
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
John-David is a "walker"
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:31pm.
I'd like to rename Ivana's man. From now on I'm calling him Lord Smarmadouche.
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LMAO *running to the ladies' room*
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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She's puffy.
You'll love my blog:
http://MuchBetterThanWorking.blogspot.com
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:30pm.
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:26pm.
and a soupçon of Dentucreme Denture Cleaning Paste
Kudos! First for using the word, but also for finding a way to make a cedilla!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
If this is her best "see what you are missing out on" pictures...I ain't feeeling the love!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 7:29pm
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*staring accusingly at Mani* You dissin' support hose?
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
John-David Bitch is known here in Paris, for having parcipated to some TV Reality shit.
He had a "secret" that he was supposed to hide while being in the house he lived. His secret was that he fucked with over 780 hos.
Who would believe it?
He was nicknamed MOWGLI but the other participant !
Did they know about the future of this name and our "favourite" Mowgli Wentz..?
Here's his profile :
http://secret-story.programme-tv.net/secret-story-2/candidats/55-john-da...
Okay it's in french, but you'll be able to see a video and Thanks god images speak for themselves.
Mrs K.,
So's my Izzie. But they're so damn loveable, you forgive quickly.
I'd like to rename Ivana's man. From now on I'm calling him Lord Smarmadouche.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I'd take *pissy pussy* over *penis who can't salute* anyday.
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Une certaine qualité de gentillesse est toujours signe de trahison~ François Mauriac
That's very sweet Mrs. Kravitz. It's really easy to love a pet who adores you unconditionally (even if they don't listen all the time, but more than the kiddles do).
yeah Ivana go for it! woo woo! YES ;>
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"Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,"