Kim Zolciak Is Posing For Playboy
Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover. PLAYBOY. Kim Zolciak, the wig torturer of "The Really Not Housewives of Atlanta" tells Paper Magazine that she's going to pose for an upcoming cover of Playboy. If Hugh Hefner signed off on this, then he really just needs to go to his room, lock the door, put the phone off the hook and stay there! This shit is a punishment to humanity! This must violate the constitution in some way.
Does Playboy even have the money for this shit?! The Photoshop budget alone is probably enough to get this country out of our economic crisis. When my eyeballs drown in their own barf after looking at Kim's nastiness in all its glory, I'm going to sue a bitch.
This might just be another lie coming out of her noise hole, because she also claims she's a size 2. Take a big sip of Diet Rite when you read this shit below and if you can make it through the whole thing without spitting up at least twice, then you're a strong person than me.
Kim said, "I'm actually 30, and [the controversy] is hilarious to me. In some of the clips there was a ton of makeup on me. In some of the footage I look like I'm 50 years old. I'm 30. I'm like a size 2. People tell me I'm so much prettier in person. TV makes you look so much different. I'm working on shooting a cover of Playboy. I guess 30 ain't that bad."
I'm starting to think that Kim's brains shriveled up a while ago and her wig does all the talking and thinking for her. Kim's wig is the one who is 30-years-old and a size 2. And hopefully her wig is the one who is spreading its titties and coochie for Playboy. Let's fucking hope!
Visit Paper to read the whole interview. You'll learn that Kim is the one who broke up with Big Papa and he's estranged from his wife. Kim is no longer working with Dallas Austin, but she did get a recording contract. She also said this: "My singing career was not an accurate portrayal of me singing." That wasn't singing, Kim. That was a hungover seal getting water tortured.
ShareThis
A little off topic, but has anyone noticed how DeShawn with her fake teeth talks like Fire Marshal Bill???
Not an actual portrayal? Um..I saw you...singing...in a studio...what exactly does she think "actual portrayal" means?
Size two? Don't you give up being a size two when you get boobies the size of pumpkins?
I mean...if you were ever a two to begin with...?
And then - no, the way TV is now, everyone just looks better. As soon as you see something even close to real, it's like: ICK. SO, if you're that ugly on TV...
PS. If people are telling you that you look prettier in person - like, actually saying - I'd watch out for them people, missy.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com
I guess Lee Najjar was "big papa". I guess he is married though. Ewwww does she have no morals?
um she's fat..is that a problem for Playboy?
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Thirty-five if she is a day and size 16. Delusion is a bitch.
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Why do all these hors look like dlist's Coco? In what slut universe is that something you'd want?
.
"Boogie Man", on Lee Atwater, the spawn of Satan who started the gop's dirty rise to power:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/atwater/
"My singing career was not an accurate portrayal of me singing."
WTF? That's the funniest thing I've read today. What does that mean?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:39pm.
Most people are bad at maths at least 99.9.9% of the time aren't they?
That's a lot of maths badness!
Submitted by Jan_In_The_Pan on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:33pm.
I work in investigations and couldn't resist the urge to look her up.
OK, a few more special requests: Phoebe Price? Eva Longoria? Sharon Stone?
Submitted by mike on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:39pm.
*********
YES! Then you invent a 3rd assertion..like..oh I dunno..*my boobs are real* to divert attention away from the 2nd asertion and so on...
***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEwZIufmafo&feature=related
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON: "Even on Leno he is all business, deliberately oblivious to his own Hwatness."
Oh, he knows how hot he is, but it doesn't affect the way he acts. He's a classy piece. I know he doesn't swing my way, but I still lust after him.
She is at least a size 6 which isn't even fat at all. I feel bad for her kids.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:23pm.
She's bad with maths. Imagine!
*********
Most people are bad at maths at least 99.9.9% of the time aren't they?
***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEwZIufmafo&feature=related
Size 2? Size 2?
I think that's a case in which you make up an assertion that's even more outrageous than your first assertion (that you're 30) so that people will forget about the first assertion.
um, she'S bigger than me and I'm a size ten.
-----------------------------------------------
"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Well, NeNe did say that the wig must be squezzing her brain tight. She can't think that she is a size 2. She must be Jennifer Hewitts size 2.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Lovers Keep On ... on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:25pm
NeNe bettah step, I am ready to take off my shoes and earrings, he belongs to us DLISTED ho's.
EvilShoe on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:28pm
He's only 41 but the gray does deceive. I like that he laughs a lot on his show especially at him self.
Even on Leno he is all business, deliberately oblivious to his own Hwatness.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
I have a question what exactly does she do? She broke up with "big papa" so where will she get all her money to get her hair did now?
------------------------------------------------
The government of the United States is not in any sense founded upon the Christian religion. -John Adams
I work in investigations and couldn't resist the urge to look her up. She's really thirty. Thirty used up years. But just thirty of 'em...
All I can think when I see her is "sloppy seconds".
I believe she is 30 but there is no way you can convince me bitch is a size 2.
Submitted by loric on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:28pm
Me too. I still get carded and shit, I hate it & love it at the same time. My mom is the same way, it must be in the genes. She said when they moved to FL the new landlord said "I'm so glad you and your father decided to rent here" DOH! My dad is only 2 yrs older than her.
No way this ho is 30, no way. Or a size 2 for that matter.
This skank has seen her 30th birthday at least 15 times and is a size 2 in her wildest dreams. She looks like she's at least a size 14.
*****************************************
"That cat's something I can't explain."
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 1:21pm.
Every time I see Anderson on TV I think about your siggie LOL! He's so fuckin' hot and I don't even like older men!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick happens! - MK
Why does she look like White Oprah in that shot?
.
Pretty is as pretty does.
I don't make any claims to be a great beauty, but if she is 30, then I feel much better about myself. I turned 35 last week, and I have to say I look much younger. Of course, I don't have a hairball wig, and I make no claims to be a size 2 either.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
I can't stand her. I wish the next time shes smoking her cig, her f*cking weave catches on fire. Poof! Kim is bald. She needs to take this crap on the road and start looking at a career in stand-up: Singing, size 2, prettier in person. Gimmie a break. Kim is what Spears will look like in 5 years.
@LOVE ANDERSON
I think you need to check NeNe so she knows to stay away from the silver fox.
------------------------------------------------
The government of the United States is not in any sense founded upon the Christian religion. -John Adams
She is 38 if anything. I want to see her birth certificate.
------------------------------------------------
The government of the United States is not in any sense founded upon the Christian religion. -John Adams
how dare she claim that she's a size 2!!!! she makes me sick. she didn't look good on hot or not. and she doesn't look good now, however many years later. this bitch needs to get a clue, a reality check, and a good wig/weave.
She doesn't look it but she's telling the truth about her age. She just looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet. A lot.
She's bad with maths. Imagine!
"People tell me I'm so much prettier in person."
Yea right. There's just so much wrong with saying this about yourself.
Mah Boo is not talking about you now is he.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!