Jean-Claude Van Damme Knows How To Charm The Ladies
There was a time when some of us would gladly put our asses up in the air for Jean-Claude Van Damme, but nowadays we'd only raise our butts to fart in his fug face. His FACE! He looks like the bastard love child of the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a downsy iguana. Jean-Claude still thinks he's got the shit, because he's still shamelessly hitting on girls old enough to be his daughter. Jean-Claude is infamous for being a manwhore who can't keep his cheesy peen in his surfer pants, so it's no surprise that he hit on a 22-year-old reporter from Newsweek during an interview.
Sarah Ball talked to 48-year-old Jean-Claude about his new movie "JCVD" and the conversation quickly turned creepy. Oh and JC is currently married to wifey #5:
Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in "JCVD." I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.OK —
It was like being naked—I would love to be naked in front of you.Well, I —
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.So you've no regrets at all?
Believe me—I've done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I don't regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?I 'm 22.
Oh, fuck. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?I don't know. When is it?
I don't know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?Uh —
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.
Jean-Claude forgot to say one very important thing. He forgot to say, "You are very elegant." Did he not learn anything from Dimitri the Lover?!
With all that being said, I'd still put on a black dress, slip on some black high heels, peel the skin off of Jean-Claude's fruit and cut his very hard seed. That sounds like some Lorena Bobbitt shit.
That guy is creepy!I would get some cash out of the pathetic man whore and run.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
What the f--- is this all about? Why do we have to believe that sh*t happened? Did you hear the interview yourselves, people? Plus, if he said that... don't you think he was just kiddin' her? Jean-Claude Van Damme (48 yrs old), still have a list of more than 100,000 ladies waiting for him just to say "hi!". So, stop bullsh*tting!
That has to suck for the interviewer who's 22 but was mistaken for being 32, LOL!
Biggest. Cokehead. Douche. Ever.
---------------------------
Rippy Razor Says "It's down the block, not across the street!!"
We need to add Jean-Claude to the list of "Men who look like old lesbians."
(Not that there's anything wrong with that...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo."--MK
Do you remember him doing the split in Timecop when he jumped up onto the counter? I'd just close my eyes and think of that scene while he methassaulted my Newsweekgina. I'd even let him stick it in my US News and World Reporthole!
Reporter (to herself): "I've got a BA in journalism magna cum laude from Columbia. I didn't sign up for this shit..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it [marriage] for the idea of everything." (Britney)
I wish that reporter stabbed him in the balls with her pen or pencil...what a disgusting peepaw...and he looks so phoney...I remember his smoking mullet, he used to have it, but "it" went bye bye a llloonngg time ago...what a nasty, smarmy creep he turned out to be...but that "liquid cream substance" makes me crave coconut milk...is that wrong of me?? What a douchebag!
He should hang with Pat O'Brian. I'm sure he still knows some young reporters and then they could get some coke and get craaazy.
For a guy that had a long drug habbit, he's aged very well. You have to admit.
Ew he's a total sleazeball! I've never thought he was hot either. Just too greasy!
Your face!
WOW~~So cool. His photos were seen at a singles dating site """"""S i n g l e p a r e n t K i s s . C o m """""""last week and and I was pleasantly surprised after I find her photos there. It is said he is already in relationship with a young beautiful single woman on that site now. Is he a single dad now???
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 1:17pm.
Also, Miss VD is a WELL-known Hollywood homosexual.
--------------------------------------------------
one of his ex-wives said that once!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:15am.
Oh lawd, I need a mental enema after reading that tripe. He is, how you say en francais, tres dégueulasse, non?
Ouey, c'est ça. Et dégoûtant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it [marriage] for the idea of everything." (Britney)
He makes Gary Busey sound rather charming in comparison.
I had such a huge crush on him.....when I was 14!!!! I remember seeing him in universal soldier and thinking he was like the hottest thing ever, hahah! now I wouldn't let him touch me with Brad Pitt's dick!
-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I feel dirty just having read that. Obviously his brain is fried, did he think she wouldn't write about this?
If Miss VD is 48, then we must be 28.
Also, Miss VD is a WELL-known Hollywood homosexual.
Any fish-fucking rumors are just that - rumors.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 9:43am.
hahahahaha. Smarmy perv! (It's funny to say his lines with his Pepe Le Pew accent.)
**************************************
LOLOLOL! That's what *I* did!
I love him. He is the Dmitri to my Shauna!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
The hawtness has worn clean smooth off of this one!
Not enough duct tape or liquor in the world...
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
Submitted by kdracofan on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:43am.
Oh, fucking EWWWW!
Jean-Claude needs to team up with David Copperfield. The ladies will be unable to resist!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
That is the face of a very heavy drinker. He can't be THAT old!
Submitted by Rican35 on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:50am.
I saw this freak in action a couple of years ago in a restaurant in Santa Monica. The funny part was the girls he was trying to hit on were totally making fun of him to his face. I laughed. I cried.
==========================================
I would have paid to see that. I used to be so hot for him until I found out what a douchenozzle he is in reality.
I saw this freak in action a couple of years ago in a restaurant in Santa Monica. The funny part was the girls he was trying to hit on were totally making fun of him to his face. I laughed. I cried.
Eeeuuewwwwww. He's morphing into all men with bad facelifts. Arnold Schwartzngerhegerrr, Micky rouke, Michael douglas, Burt Reynalds wrap, Val Vilmar, bada bada bada bing.
.
http://e.imagehost.org/view/0649/vandammeisfug111.jpg
One word: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Fuck
Wow. I need a shower and stiff drink after reading that. Are there women out there who are turned on by creepy? Shauna Sand, maybe.
Jean-Claude looks suspiciously like Arnold Schwarzenegger, particularly in the hair. Both are complete troglodytes cut from the same cloth.
Oh GAWD how gross is he??? And I don't mean 'zee blod shouldair' type of gross, I mean EWWWW gross. What a douchey scumbag. I think he just passed Mario Lopez. YUCK
Rich and famous people suck.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by oklahoma on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:45am.
aww! that is so nice of you! thank you :)
OT: van damn is a manslut! i don't like mensluts ;/
i really need to take a bath now. what a slimebucket.
jean-claude SO looks like the space-docking type of guy...
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Catch hot babes, rich and sexy singles@MEET RICH. COM for hotter love, more pleasure, and more fantasy.
He's infamous for behaving this way.. a true perv through and through.
"Why they try to hurt me,Zien(sp?)?"
^^
from one of his stupid fucking movies when he gets wasted and does that radical dance.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Been takin' those fukitols for about 4 years now!..Muthuhs little helpuh let me tell yewwwww!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 9:58am.
nice dye job, Claude!
Did you do that at home with Clairol?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP2uZPBvdkA
Naw...he used this^^^^
LoL
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Haribo!! I'll have the Smurfs send you over some Fukitols after they have breakfast.. toetae??
-----------------------------------
Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
He DOES look like a downsy iguana.
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
C on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:37am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_0kKACp11Y
-----------
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Jean Claude, show me the "Dim Mak" and STFU.
************************************************
yeah baby, yes I know what I am, and yes I don't give a damn, and you'll be loving it
-Christina Aguilera "Keeps Getting Better"
Submitted by oklahoma on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:37am.
i need some fukitol pills!
He sounds like a perv, but the trailer for the movie looks like it has promise. Something a little bit different, at least.
God damn, he's fucking awesome.
I'm glad he's still the most ridiculous Belgian in the world. Belgians love manicured lawns, bathroom attendants and JCVD. As they should.
Ewwwww, he's so Skeezy.
And way to short.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
he's gross but i used to love his movies back in the day. have y'all seen this you tube of him dancing and getting an erection? what a perv!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_0kKACp11Y
Wyle E.. I got it as a text once.. It says:
Depressed? Over Worked? Job Suck? Unappreciated? Family Problems? Money Worries?Well here's a pill for You! When life just blows...FUKITOL!
What a shameless old sushi dicked slut monkey...I hope she wasn't flattered. He almost sounded like Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 weeks..Gawd! I had to explain this to the old men at work who think the young schmeggies like them for their maturity and worldliness. The only fatty they like is the fatty wallet..not the front pocket peenomatic complete with crane and viagra...
Don't make me splain this again loocy.
he needs to be hit across that balding head with a frying pan. it might help a little bit!
Submitted by oklahoma on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 10:28am.
Oklahoma, your avie! Where is that from?
That is so perfect for me today. I missed a long-haul flight and am sleeping on the fucking floor.
------------------------------------------------
Wyle E Coyote
"Yeah, the joke doesn't really work if I have to explain it in detail. Just give me an endearing look and continue eating your panini", MK.