Carrot Top Was Robbed!
As you can see from the big yellow letters above, Hugh Jackman is People's Sexiest Man Alive. And as you can see from my headline, Carrot Top was once again robbed! Why does People Magazine hate carrots so much? Maybe they figured that if they put him on the cover an all-out riot would break out, because bitches would stab each other in the eyes to get a copy. Yeah, that's probably it. He better not get passed up for People's Sexiest Mutant Alive title.
I guess Hugh Jackman is a close second behind Carrot Top. I'm okay with the cover, but it needs more...um...more...nudity. And the cover also should have been Hugh making THIS FACE. Now that shit is sexy.
Hugh said that when his wife found out he was the sexiest man alive, she said, "Obviously, Brad wasn't available this year." Just like Kim from the "Housewives of Atlanta" (see below), Hugh's wife is a vampire who can't see her own reflection in the mirror. If I was her, I would've shouted, "OH YES! You're the sexiest bitch past, present and future. You are hotter than a Wonky's pussy in a convection oven. Please never leave me. Please! Please!" Because the woman should be sucking the cheddar out of his peen for staying with her.
The rest of People's list includes some of the usual suspects:
Daniel Craig - I give this pick two dildo claps!
Jon Hamm - See above and add an extra clap!
Zac Efron - No, but he's a shoo-in for the sexiest pretty princess award!
Robert Buckley - Stop trying to make "Lipstick Jungle" happen!
Blair Underwood - Fuck, fuck yes.
Ed Westwick - See above and add two extra fucks.
Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo.
Blake Shelton - Who?!
Lang Lang - See above and add an extra question mark.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar - Is it 1990 again?
Javier Bardem - My no-no approves!
Robert Pattinson - His magical hair has hypnotized me into approving.
Joshua Jackson - Ew! Gross! Barf!
David Beckham - We get it, Becks is hot. Time to move on....
Click here if you want to see Hugh's interview interview along with pictures and shit.
Cover VIA Cover Awards
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Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:20am.
Yes! Like STFU you bitches! I don't talk about my ex ad nauseum, why should she? Shit! (Well, and the ex is nothing special to talk about... asshole)
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:23am.
Lol - yes, but only from 1957. Damn did that man fall to pieces!
Hugh Jackman or Hugh Laurie? who is sexier?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
How about sexiest dead man? Marlon Brando circa 1957! I don't care how crazy he was. I would have hit that hard...repeatedly.
Totally agree with Jackman!
He is the hotness.
Comments about his 'ugly' wife make me laugh - that just makes him more desirable - he isn't shallow enough to have a plasitc barbie doll wife.
LoLo, you get the call girl interview for the hopefully XXX answers. How big was Spitzer? Did he dress in diapers and want to be paddled? Or was he just a limp rug? Besides that, you're right. Interview OVAH!!
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:21am.
Cword Giant Pandas ARE sexy!
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Oh, I definitely agree...would much rather see a Giant Panda make the list than Joshua Jackson! :D
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Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free?
Nanners i completely agree, phelps is totally ick in the face...buttahface to the extreme.
i hope johnny depp is somewhere on that list.
robert pattison is beyond yummy, i am glad that he is being recognized.
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:15am.
LoLo!
You are so right! Lists are stupid because…
A) Everyone has a different opinion
B) They are a waste of time to create
C) They are a waste of time to read
D) Someone will always disagree with your list
E) Hugh likes boys named John
CTH,
I found an avie last night that said "My German Shepherd is smarter than my president" and I thought of you!
Good call on the Butler!! ROBBED!
HAAA! My shep puts dumbya in the fucking SHADE
and yes, where's our Butler???? he's a fucking sex god!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:15am.
My grocery list is one hot bitch though.
Steak fries
nuff said! lmao!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Cword Giant Pandas ARE sexy!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
LMAO.
Did "Jennifer on Angelina" in the top left hand corner give anyone else nasty thoughts?
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
PSL, and I would love him anyway... I said this before and I'll say it again, I'd make him make much funnier faces before I'm done with him!
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
I approve of Jackman, but People needs to get more creative. And by creative, I don't mean throwing in oogly people like Michael Phelps. Although, I'd hit it if he wore one of those s & m masks. And if he gave me a bag of money. And if he promised never to speak of it.
There are alot of WTF's on the list, but I especially don't get the whole Robert Pattinson extravaganza. Winner of the pasty-faced Edward Scissorhands look-alike contest, yes. But hot? No way.
I fail to see anything sexy about this dude? It must be the way he bangs the keys:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lang_Lang_(pianist)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Gingerism is why CT didn't make the cut!
Zac is pretty but not sexy. He's too delicate for Sexy Time.
Phelps is like the male Fergie. Butterface - For Men.
Zack Morris?! Slater has the bod!
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
What is the deal with interviewing the Spitzer Prostitute?
I mean its common sense what goes down in a hookers head.
Why did you have sex for money?
I like money and Im a ho.
You came from a rich family? Why be a hooker?
I like to steal my granmaws car and do hood rat shit. No one ever taught me to respect myself or my vagina.
How did you meet Spitzer?
Through my interweb pimp.
What happened between you and Spitzer.
He paid my pimp and i just laid there limp while he did my in my ass hole and called me Maria Shriver. Then my pimp gave me my cut of money and then I showered off while trying to tell myself that I am not a dirty bitch he let a bald old man stick it in my pooper for money i didnt even need.
Fascinating.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I's go for Carrot Top too! :)
Joshua Jackson is right up there with Tobey Maguire on my "Not Hot" list...the guy has a unibrow, for Gawd's sake!
And Lang Lang sounds like a giant panda.
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Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free?
they should have put the pic of Hugh coming out of the ocean for the cover pic!
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how ever long our love will last, I always want to call you "friend"....
-Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks "Whenever I Call You Friend"
Mrs. Gosling, that sucks! I don't have any sick days either, but I know what I'll be doing while working and that is... not work.
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
LoLo!
You are so right! Lists are stupid because…
A) Everyone has a different opinion
B) They are a waste of time to create
C) They are a waste of time to read
D) Someone will always disagree with your list
E) Hugh likes boys named John
CTH,
I found an avie last night that said "My German Shepherd is smarter than my president" and I thought of you!
Good call on the Butler!! ROBBED!
not even an honorable mention for the D-Listed men!?!?!?! Fuck People mag. LOL
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"Waaaarrrrrriiiorsss, come out to pla-ay!"
*clink clink clink*
Yay Zachy poo got nominated! tee hee
Hugh's wife should be breakdancing that he's still with her ugly ass.
The ugly truth about Jon and Kate Gosselin:
http://gosselinswithoutpity.blogspot.com/
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RIMADYL KILLS
I'm surprised the mocha messiah didn't make the list. He's made every other list.
Hugh Laurie better be on that list!!If not, it's a sham
Simon Baker is another cute Aussie who's wife isn't all that. Maybe attractive Austrialian men are awesome in choosing women?
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Why is ZAC EFRON (who irritates me less than TOM the ASSWIPE and Anne Marie Lucas (cunt)) on the cover?!?!?! He should go shoot a Pepsi commercial a la Micheal Jackson! His mascara would catch on fire immediately.
And I would laugh. A lot.
And Hugh is still hot.
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
NO GERARD BUTLER?????
HMMMM???????
NO SEAN PATRICK HARRIS????
OKAY, I'M CALLING THE COUNTY AND DOING THE BOOT MOVES TO BOYCOTT THIS ISSUE.
ETA
I agree about anderson cooper, man is adorable.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
I have no quibble w/ Hugh & Javier, but the Morpher & the Cover Girl? Ew.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I only aprrove of Blair, Hugh, and Javier.
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:07am.
Was there any doubt that Hugh is the sexiest man alive? Oh dear... excuse to call into work please. I think it's another "stay in bed" day for me.
Hahhahaha I was thinking the same thing this morning...although i fucked up and used up all my sick and emergency days already so Im shit out of luck lol.....Gooooood Moooorning =)
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I love him ♥
Blake Shelton?!?! REALLY?! He's not even the hottest country singer. PSH! WHATEVER HE'S LAME. The list kind of sucks a lot this year. Joshua Jackson, Javier Bardem, and Jon Hamm are the only ones I like that much.
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.
Lists are so stupid.
Sexiest man alive? Who his wife? LMAO!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Blair Underwood had better make that cover soon. He is so hot!
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cuteness
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.php4
Fuck! I'm just glad it's not ANOTHER Housewives post!!
I agree with MK's opinion on all of the above except for Buckley. THAT is a hot piece!
Your list and comments are after my own heart... and no-no place as well.
I do have to agree with LOVE ANDERSON tho... Mah Boo was ROBBED! NayNay's gonna storm their offices!
hahahahahaha! MK so funny.
Is it gonna be another Hugh Jackman kind of day here at dlisted?
I thought we decided he was gay?
Did Benji Madden make the list? If not I cry VivA la REVOLUTION!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Mah Boo didn't make the cut?
LOOSERS! PEOPLE IS LIE TELLERS!!!!
btw, I think Joshua Jackson is ok.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Yada, yada. I hate these stupid lists. All it means is Hugh has a big movie to promote so his publicists work over time.
Forget the sexiest man, I'ma buy that issue for the Call Girl's story.
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"Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo."--MK
Was there any doubt that Hugh is the sexiest man alive? Oh dear... excuse to call into work please. I think it's another "stay in bed" day for me.
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
What, no Gary Coleman? I call bullshit.
ROFL!. MK you're a gifted writer.