Carrot Top Was Robbed!
As you can see from the big yellow letters above, Hugh Jackman is People's Sexiest Man Alive. And as you can see from my headline, Carrot Top was once again robbed! Why does People Magazine hate carrots so much? Maybe they figured that if they put him on the cover an all-out riot would break out, because bitches would stab each other in the eyes to get a copy. Yeah, that's probably it. He better not get passed up for People's Sexiest Mutant Alive title.
I guess Hugh Jackman is a close second behind Carrot Top. I'm okay with the cover, but it needs more...um...more...nudity. And the cover also should have been Hugh making THIS FACE. Now that shit is sexy.
Hugh said that when his wife found out he was the sexiest man alive, she said, "Obviously, Brad wasn't available this year." Just like Kim from the "Housewives of Atlanta" (see below), Hugh's wife is a vampire who can't see her own reflection in the mirror. If I was her, I would've shouted, "OH YES! You're the sexiest bitch past, present and future. You are hotter than a Wonky's pussy in a convection oven. Please never leave me. Please! Please!" Because the woman should be sucking the cheddar out of his peen for staying with her.
The rest of People's list includes some of the usual suspects:
Daniel Craig - I give this pick two dildo claps!
Jon Hamm - See above and add an extra clap!
Zac Efron - No, but he's a shoo-in for the sexiest pretty princess award!
Robert Buckley - Stop trying to make "Lipstick Jungle" happen!
Blair Underwood - Fuck, fuck yes.
Ed Westwick - See above and add two extra fucks.
Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo.
Blake Shelton - Who?!
Lang Lang - See above and add an extra question mark.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar - Is it 1990 again?
Javier Bardem - My no-no approves!
Robert Pattinson - His magical hair has hypnotized me into approving.
Joshua Jackson - Ew! Gross! Barf!
David Beckham - We get it, Becks is hot. Time to move on....
Click here if you want to see Hugh's interview interview along with pictures and shit.
Cover VIA Cover Awards
that list? oooo u v got to be kidding. There is not a man there I would find sexy. Sexiness is not only in your abs or in slicked back hair...these are all vain pricks
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
Hellllllllllllllllllllllllo--Taylor Kitsch, anyone? Only the sexiest man alive!
Blake Shelton is a country singer...and he is WAYYY sexy!
Google him! trust me, you won't be disappointed :)
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
I noticed they put a very old pic of Brad on the cover. Memo to People: he's no longer hot anymore. Time to move on to fresher meat.
Please
it's all about whose publicity agent gives the best blow job
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When you can't lie to yourself, that's depressing.
Lang Lang is a prodigy piano player, but I'm having a hard time figuring how he made it on the list...
XX~ The Big O
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 4:09pm.
I too used to think he was alright - until someone here pointed out (oops) that he has a pin head. Now I see nothing but when I look at him.
oh... sorry!
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Hugh doesn't do it for me. Johnny Depp should have been on the cover.
jon hamm. hammmmmm. jon hamm. fuck. i love him (from a distance). GQ named him the something-man of the year, and the interview reveals that he's decades-long friends with paul rudd. which of course makes me think of them having a few drinks too many and making out, which makes me happy in the crotchular area.
jimmy pardo (who?) does a podcast (gotta pay for it) and they had hamm on a few weeks back, and he was funny. no, you're not allowed to be that hot, and that talented, AND witty. no! and then he was on doug benson's i love movies podcast (that one's free) and he was funny there too! it's not even a fluke. and someone should tell him he's officially too popular to keep doing podcasts.
Good Lord, I love that man. I can't help it. He is so sexy, so strong, so... wow! Now that's what a leading man is all about.
And yes, I know he's married and has kids, but if I could come up with the money, I'd pay him to cum in a jar and give it to me. I'd provide the turkey baster. *LOL*
Can't wait for Australia. I will be blocking out Nicole Kidman with my hand so I just see my Hugh on the screen.
Idris Elba!!! i agree!! that's a hot motherfucker right there. rawr!
i love Hugh Jackman. yum. his wife is a butter-face but yeah, whatever. he's a hunk of deeeeelish though.
where the fuck is my favorite man-whore Gerard Butler. RAWR! RAAAAAWR!!!
most important of all though is missing!!!!
MAH BOO!!!!!!!!
where the FUCK is our boo, Anderson Cooper, at??? yeah, that's right. we was ROBBED, yo.
Ed Westwick looks revolting.
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Like there's actually a need for Greenland.you can get ice at 7-Eleven!
Anthony Lane's review of "Quantum of Solace":
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/cinema/2008/11/17/081117crci_cinem...
The correct top four would be as follows:
4. Borat
3. Creepy Guy from "Estate of Panic"
2. Verne Troyer
1. Napoleon Dynamite.
To each his own.
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"Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo."--MK
This list is meaningless without Robert Downey Jr., Clive Owen and Hugh Laurie.
One of the many reasons I stoppd subscribing to People Mag. If they're not going to do men and women equally, then they're no better than Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit issue.
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They were dork-sided!
Submitted by Misska21 on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 1:24pm.
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A-frickin' men! He's just gotten more attractive with age, IMO.
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I didn't hit you. I simply high-fived your face.
The new Bond movie was great, but was lacking the quality shirtless scenes of Daniel Craig that made "Casino Royale" that much better.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
WTF...how can you all say Josh Jackson isn't hot?? I love him, have ever since he was Pacey on the Creek!
Is it wrong that I made a montage of Hugh Jackman quotes and set it as my morning alarm? Because if it is, I don't want to be right! He is teh sex!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
yes, Clive Owen, and then I want Idris Elba on there too
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Sub Zac Effron with a side of Johnny Depp
Javier Bardem and Blair Underwood, FUCK YEAH!!! hot bitches....
Mandy Patinkin
Tommy Lee Jones
Benicio Del Toro
Denzel Washington
Pick one of those for the cover and even *I* would buy that shit magazine to read, and not just wait until I had a dental appointment.
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the perfect peen Layer cake.
one layer of christian bale
one layer of clive owen
one layer of adrien brody (I think he's one sexy fucker, you can sub someone else's mayo here)
a generous helping of Javier Bardem gently nestled between two pieces of Daniel Craig, with a lovely Craig filling in the center
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Isn't Putin Grand?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4088345.stm
what is wrong with their vision
1.DEPECHE MODE- DAVID GAHN. 1
Javier Bardem.
Clive Owen.
Viggo Mortensen.
Richard Gere (I know, I know).
Yeah, that's my list.
*Revised to add Edward Norton*
I like that they picked somebody that hasn't already been on the cover but, that list is STUPID. Wheres my Viggo Mortensen, Christian Bale, Clive Owen? Its nice to Jon Hamm and Daniel Craig get attention tho.
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WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT!!
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:21pm.
He is just fucking amazing. Makes you want to find a guy named Olivier just so you can say that over and over not have to explain yourself.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
RE: Christian Bale...
You know, I am ok with him getting overlooked. More Bale for me!!!
Also, SOMEONE PLEASE tell me that I DO NOT need that bag on the sidebar with the bunny in a top hat!!!!
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"Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile."
"Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me the fuck alone?"
My short list - not that it matters to anyone @ People lol:
Christian Bale
Duane "the Rock"
Viggo
Dr. Chase from House M.D. is pretty friggin sexy, but I guess he wouldn't be in the running.
Colin Firth - not everyone's cup o' tea, but he is damn sexy.
can't think of anyone else till I get some coffee.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:10pm.
No Christian Bale? Seriously, WTF? MK, I disagree with you about Joshua Jackson. He's fucking HOT!
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Bale is always getting overlooked. It's a shame. He's lookin' a little beat lately, but he should always be on this list.
Diego on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:09pm
Olivier Martinez, what good secksy cheat times are made of.
He is HWAT!!!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
No Christian Bale? Seriously, WTF? MK, I disagree with you about Joshua Jackson. He's fucking HOT!
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Javier Bardem? Yes, sir.
I assume Johnny Depp and Olivier Martinez are on this list and just not pictured? Because leaving them off and putting Zac Efron and Joshua Jackson is just sinful. I'm sure Gale Harold and Adam Rodriguez have been shafted, but some of these pics are just . . . I don't even have words. Zack Morris? Maybe when he was 19. Lang Lang? Not impressive at all. And I'm so over David Beckham. Enough already.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
These lists really are the dumbest things in the universe and need to be BANNED! Who on earth gives a fuck who someone else thinks is the sexiest man/woman in the universe and why does anyone think it is worthy of being on the front page of being on a magazine. I will basically answer my own question and say nobody gives a fuck as all of this crap is totally subjective anyway and is basically just an excuse for lazy, cheap journalism. The worst thing is it makes a whole lot of easily-influenced people think who is the sexiest/prettiest/whateverist actually matters. The upshot of such stupidity my friends is the popularity of idiots such as are very own AJ. Her movies suck but she's the sexiest woman in the universe so give the girl a multi-million dollar career. No, don't. Don't print the list, don't buy the magazine or don't give a shit and the world would be a far more fulfilling place.
Triscuit on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 11:39am.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:44am.
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LoL.I watched that,too.
add fart jokes and I'm your forever!hahaha
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Step away from my man girlfriend.... :D
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 11:09am.
Bella!!!!
I watched that last night!!! Oliver had a way of speaking that would melt butter!
Definately Oliver!
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I love that movie and just that story in general. Olivier was such a gorgeous man and sexy as hell. I also loved him in Spartacus.
He was one of those actors I got obsessed with when I was a teenager (others included Andy Garcia, Robert De Niro, Ralph Fiennes and for some weird reason Val Kilmer!? Although he was pretty hot in Willow...). And that meant that I would rent every available movie with him. And even though my family was rather tolerant towards my obsessions because most of them were good actors in good movies, my Olivier phase drove them crazy... Because frankly, most of those old movies were really boring and I didn´t have my own VCR... But thankfully for them I quickly moved on to a new obsession because those old movies were hard to come by.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 11:44am.
Jackman is NOT a man - Jackman is a homosexual!
Wow. Idiot.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Jackman is NOT a man - Jackman is a homosexual!
Aren't there any sexy MEN??!!!
Alas, no, all the hot ones are 'mo's!
What about T.I.????????????????????????
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 10:44am.
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LoL.I watched that,too.
add fart jokes and I'm your forever!hahaha
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
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I Just read that JENSEN ACKLES did not make the list!
WTF!
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Am I the only one who thinks that MK needs to be on this list? MK- you were robbed!
I friggen love Robert Pattinson and that pic of him is ORGASMIC! Daniel Craig and Blair Underwood are also an A+. I would love to see Gerard Butler and Christian Bale on the list too.
Mark Paul, Joshua, Lang Lang, Michael Phelps, and Blake are NO-GO's!
And they left Michael C. Hall out?
Bear Grylls from Man Vs. Wild, no Johnny Depp, Paul Rudd??
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
"Yay" that Jon Hamm and Javier Bardem made the list! They are both yummy! Plus, they are talented actors.
People "Hottest ________________" issues are full of shit. It's a popularity contest. They left a bunch of hot bitches out. Fuck them.
Who comes up with these lists anyway? It's not like the public has a say
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
In my world, Jon Hamm wins the cover.
WHAT! No Mike Rowe....Johnny Depp??? WTF Sorry but knowing that Huge has even faked kissed Kidman makes him gross by association.
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I'm in agreement! Mike Rowe, that dirty boy should have made the list! His voice alone does it for me, again..and again..and again! *wipes smile off face before someone realizes I'm not working*
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
I like his X-man! It is fantastic.
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Catch hot babes, rich and sexy singles@MEET RICH. COM for hotter love, more pleasure, and more fantasy.