The Moment Has Arrived
If you were on the west coast last night, you most likely heard the sound of a thousand high-pitched screams. You probably shrugged it off, thinking it was just the voices in your head shrieking to get out. Naw, it wasn't the voices in your head this time. It was the sound coming from the mob of fangirls busting their vocal chords and bursting ear drums at the "Twilight" premiere in Los Angeles last night. Fangirls like the hot (literally) bitch above waited overnight just so they could catch a quick glimpse of the sparkly stars. I think sanitation workers are still cleaning up all the panty pudding left on the street.
The screams even flattened Robert Pattinson's magical hair! The unicorns had to find another forest to frolick in. Robert told MTV News that he's gotten used to insane girls screaming at him. In fact, he's gone deaf. He said, "I left my brain at the door. It's completely insane. You never expect it. ... I'm completely deaf!" No, seriously. He wasn't joking. He's really deaf.
Robert went on to tell a story about a group of girls who scratched their necks for him. "There were some girls who had scratched ... the side of their necks so [they were] freshly bleeding when they came up to get a signature. They were like, 'We did this for you.' I didn't know what to say. 'Um, thanks guys?'"
Um...they should have had men in white coats, carrying straitjackets at the premiere, just in case. Actually, I shouldn't make fun. If I ever saw that sexy piece Eric Northman from "True Blood" in person, I'd probably cut my neck and scream, "Make me! Make Me! Be my fucking maker! I'll lay in a dirt ditch and everything! MAKE ME!"
Wenn, Bauer Griffin, Splash
eh.. i could give two shits about this kid & his hair..
i say, yes! to eric northman though..AND stephen moyer!
as far as i'm concerned though...there still hasn't been a hotter vamp than kiefer as 'david' in 'the lost boys'..
even with the bleach-blonde mullet & all!
GRR.
I think I'll be mailing this kid a can of mace and a taser. He sounds like he's gonna need it.
That Pattinson is one hot piece!I think he is a closet gay but that never stops my lusting!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
that dude has downs face a bit.
www.haighthearts.blogspot.com
Some talent agent must have told Pattison, "You've got to accentuate your brooding good looks." So now he broods for a living.
If I ever saw that sexy piece Eric Northman from "True Blood" in person, I'd probably cut my neck and scream, "Make me! Make Me! Be my fucking maker! I'll lay in a dirt ditch and everything! MAKE ME!"
Oh, Mikey, honey, so would I. To paraphrase that slutty Christmas queen girl in Steel Magnolias, that Eric is one big hanging MAN. Oooh. Every time he busts out that weird black wifebeater of his my heart goes pitter-pat. And that scene with him in Bill's bathtub was great, but would have been greater if we'd been allowed to see his large Scandinavian smorgasbord (I did like that weird old Swedish music on his iPod though - v. scary).
Sigh. Yes, I'd go all Twilight-loony on his ass if I ever saw him in real life.
I guess the secret to being a teen heartthrob these days is to not wash your hair for two weeks. Last time I saw something this greasy it was in a bucket labeled "KFC".
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
He looks like Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl only pastier and less interesting wardrobe choices. Meh.
So this guy is hot, huh? He looks like Quentin Tarrentino's only slightly better looking younger brother.
I find that couple as appealing as scheduling an appointment for a grueling 2 hour root canal. I mean, that girl has a Tater chin, tits like mosquito bites, and no figure, and that guy looks like he smells like day old McDonalds cheeseburgers. Yiiiick. What would the judges say?!?!? NOT HOT ROFLMAO!!!!
"You smell like a baby prostitute." ~ Mean Girls
FYI: Secret...made for a woman, strong enough for a man...
I think he's gay. I'm cool with that. Jussayin. I think he's from one of the recent blind items about having a secret boyfriend.
And she is totally fug. I mean bad. And she has a damn deep voice for a chick.
I'm thinking she might BE the secret boyfriend.
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you is chipmunkin times all up in my face and i hate that, you trampy nut gathering woodland creature. (LoLo)
Submitted by lesstrendythanwarhol on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:18pm.
as i 16 year old girl that loves to read. i am embarrassed by my generation. i have never even thought about touching these retard ass sounding books.
ok, i'll admit. i just finished the new gossip girl but i read it in like, 2 days and i'm reading the soloist now. but other than that, i stay out of the "Young Adult" section.
^^^^^
Wow, I'm proud of you and I don't even know you! Maybe because I share your love of reading (I'm an English major) and also hated the Young Adult snorefests when I was 16.
An occasional lapse into fluff like Gossip Girl is perfectly fine though, especially for someone like you who has a grasp on quality lit. Keep it up!
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Those Twilight books suck ass.
Hollywood has a habit of taking a perfectly good book and f*cking it up.
So, with this in mind, should this be a sh*tty book that gets turned into a half decent film? I hope so.
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My other gig
My other hangout
Nice pit stain, ho.
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you is chipmunkin times all up in my face and i hate that, you trampy nut gathering woodland creature. (LoLo)
"Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:44pm.
Who the killer is? Huh? I've watched it twice and didn't see a killer revealed.
unless you mean the pic at the very end? that would be a leap.
Please clarify, I feel like i missed something. (I look away and mute the gross parts)"
After the picture reveal and the previews for next week, it's pretty obvious who it is. And it does make me sad.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:03pm.
I don't get HBO. Time-Warner says someone with a GPS signal is jamming my reception. If I ever find that effer.....
I so don't get what teens like these days. All these movies and shows kids go batshit crazy for look boring as all hell and all the actors in them look homely. Give me Alyssa Milano and Corey Haim (the 80s one, not the now one!) any day.
Submitted by klik on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 4:05pm.
Am I alone in thinking that this couple is extremely unappealing?
**
NO!!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
When you can't lie to yourself, that's depressing.
seriously?
*perplexed*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Am I alone in thinking that this couple is extremely unappealing?
um...this male person is scary looking. that's pretty much all I have to say.
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In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:47pm.
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It's all good. I'll never tell anyone about the location of your George W Bush tattoo. ;)
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by DUDE on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:29pm.
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Sorry, DUDE. Next time, I'll try and be a bit more discreet. :)
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:51pm.
So I watched Sunday's "True Blood" early this morning and I'm really pissed over who the killer is! Seriously, I really wanted to kick a stuffed animal!
*
Who the killer is? Huh? I've watched it twice and didn't see a killer revealed.
unless you mean the pic at the very end? that would be a leap.
Please clarify, I feel like i missed something. (I look away and mute the gross parts)
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
"I'd have sex with a number of the Muppets. I just don't talk about it publicly." - Mandy Patinkin
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:29pm.
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I know I'm a jackass, but you said you'd never tell! :(
the DUDE! abides...
Dee's Twilight viewing essentials:
1. Robert Pattinson magical forest wig
2. Cherry flavored wax fangs
3. Ultra white pancake makeup
4. Trapper Keeper filled with future names (Mrs. Robert Pattison, Mrs. Edward Cullen, Mrs. DeeDee Pattison-Cullen
5. Shank to cuttabeesh who cut in line for tickets.
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:32pm.
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The donkey *sings* too? Wow!
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
*Rolling eyes at joe*
If it ain't Nitty with her vampire peoples or weresheep, then it's IG and her donkey slong.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:27pm.
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He was very sweet. Unfortunately, he was hung like a hamster. :0)
"At least they're reading"... Yeah they are reading and not texting meaningless and grammatically incorrect messages to their friends. And hopefully they're home reading this crappy ass series instead of out God knows where having blow job parties. Times are not what they used to be.
Hopefully they're getting some balance by reading the classics for school and reading Twilight for entertainment. And hopefully they learn to appreciate the classics for their content and the talent it took to write them.
Tweens will get exploited either by some hack author or hack "musicians". It's sad.
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Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:23pm
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IG you can count on me to never slander you behind your back *smirking at Slutty*;
*whispering* The donkey was nice to you, right?
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
P.S.
i don't know who should be kicked harder: sweaty or whoever tattooed her sweaty ass.
P.S.S( as SamRo would say)
the only time it is acceptable to scratch/be scratched is for robert downey jr or anderson cooper.
le blog
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:21pm.
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It's nice to know that SOMEONE has faith in me. And besides, I missed the bus.
*gives Slutty the side-eye*
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:13pm
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IG!!!!!! *falling on you and sobbing with relief* I never for ONE second believed that wild tale about you running away with a donkey to Del Rio.
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
as i 16 year old girl that loves to read. i am embarrassed by my generation. i have never even thought about touching these retard ass sounding books.
ok, i'll admit. i just finished the new gossip girl but i read it in like, 2 days and i'm reading the soloist now. but other than that, i stay out of the "Young Adult" section.
never go full retard
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 3:13pm.
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*Stuffing pillow down pants to soften IG's blows*
See joe, I told you if you mentioned the damn donkey, IG would show up.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:54pm.
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Joe, I TOLD you it was a chihuahua named Pepe! And Slutty, come into my office, please.
PS Who knew a donkey could punch so hard?
This movie (and book) is for fat, depressed gothic chicks who spend too much (or any) time online reading fan fiction.
Sheeps, it's an HBO show; I have not found time to watch it, but apparently these blood-suckers have fascinated everyone that watches the show. You all are nothing more than a Brad Pitt falling for these blood-sucking creatures.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:56pm.
Her girly parts have a 7.5 quake & shimmey anytime the name Vampire Bill is mentioned.
I feel like the SamRo in this relationship.
Is True Blood on cable or what? I'll give it a look.
Hey, nice backpack. Hello Kitty?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:54pm.
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You just HAD to mention the word "donkey".
Countdown until IG comes bustin' through the door, wanting to know if her donkey has arrived....10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...........
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:54pm.
I wanna hear more about IG and the donkey and the Del Rio Bar. How come Slutty knows all this stuff?
IG and Slutty both know people who know people. In the current environment in Mexico, I'm not sure any border bar is a good idea.
Eric from True Blood could whip Edward Cullen's ass. I like the Twilight books, but I wouldn't mar my body for them.
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:49pm.
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You have no idea how she tosses me and her other MS friends out of the way over her vampire love. It pure blood lust for that Nitty. Her girly parts have a 7.5 quake & shimmey anytime the name Vampire Bill is mentioned.
I am letting her have her fantasies for a few days longer before I start putting my foot down. I feel like the SamRo in this relationship.
Samuel Johnson--one of the most learned, wise people ever--had some great advice on reading. His notion was to pick up whatever you like and start reading--he thought it didn't matter if you started in the middle or only read one chapter. If you don't like it, or get bored, put it down and pick up something else. There are so many great books on earth that it's a shame, he thought, to waste your time reading something you don't enjoy.
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:19pm.
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I wanna hear more about IG and the donkey and the Del Rio Bar. How come Slutty knows all this stuff?
Oh oops! Was I not s'posed to say anything about the donkey?
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
So I watched Sunday's "True Blood" early this morning and I'm really pissed over who the killer is! Seriously, I really wanted to kick a stuffed animal!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 2:19pm.
hahahahaha. OK. It's just that Nitty is a woman with strong and diverse, umm, interests. Wasn't she threatening to tackle Hugh Jackman about an hour ago? And Sam Elliot last week? And...
If teenage girls want to read a dark book, they should read Nabokov's Lolita. That shit has you wishing you could reach your hands in the book and strangle the main character. It would maybe also teach girls the true nature of some creeps. It gets into some dark shit that no fantasy novel could even touch.