Emo Baby Does Not Want To Come Out
Yes, this is an old ass picture of Ashlee and Jessica B.S. (Before Surgeries). So...Asshole Simpson has been pregnant...oh...for about 2 or 3 years now, at least. There were rumors over the weekend that Emo Baby was about to make his grand entrance, but apparently that didn't happen. The big-tittied frog went on The Ellen Degeneres Show and blabbed that her sister can't wait to pop.
Jessica told Ellen that Asshole may induce labor, "They're going to have to. It's already developing really quick." She went on to say that Asshole is trying everything to get Emo Baby to come out, "Different foot massages and stuff. I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now."
This is the thing, that baby is stalling for time. It does not want to come the fuck out and can you blame it? It's sitting in there, arms crossed, pout on its face, thinking "Nope. Not today. Not ever." Asshole better come to terms with the fact that she's going to be pregnant for the rest of her life. She's going to be a 54-year-old woman, knocked up with an overgrown 30-year-old. Emo Baby's leg is going to be hanging out of her snatch and its hand will be coming out of her ass, but it will still refuse to come out.
You know how they can trick Emo Baby into popping out? Ass and Pete need to tell it that they will put it up for adoption as soon as it comes out. That baby would jump out with the adoption papers ready to sign before Ass could say "acid reflux."
Source: People
She should have sex. Orgasm starts the uterine contractions. True!!!
They look so much better in this photo,not so plastic.
Orgasm can bring on labor,Pete needs to do sex times on her.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
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Wow, that looks nothing like Ashlee (sp?)
"I used to be Snow White... but I drifted."
-Mae West
Except for the nose, Asshole was cuter then than she is now.
BTF need a better bra in this here photo.
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you is chipmunkin times all up in my face and i hate that, you trampy nut gathering woodland creature. (LoLo)
that third paragraph just made my day hahaha
"Asshole better come to terms with the fact that she's going to be pregnant for the rest of her life. She's going to be a 54-year-old woman, knocked up with an overgrown 30-year-old. Emo Baby's leg is going to be hanging out of her snatch and its hand will be coming out of her ass, but it will still refuse to come out."
She needs a balsamic vinegar salad. That does the trick!
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Wow. They both looked like real people back then.
Whatever the hell Jessica has done to her eyes since then was not an improvement. Nowadays, she always looks like she just walked in on her dad in bed with her sister.
"Mickey probably told Miley, 'Billy Ray ain't your father. I AM! I'm your daddy! I say when this game is over! Now go shake that ass and bring home the cheese!'" -MK, 22-09-08
Recently, quite a few celebrities were said to appear on the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^. OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of ...
Oh. My. God. I cannot BELIEVE that is Jessica & Ashlee... I knew they looked different now, but I haven't seen an old picture like this in AGES! Ashlee doesn't even remotely resemble that anymore... WTF?!
Good lord what a pair of ugly hos.
Nice perm bitch.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Well in Ca. they have to induce after 2 weeks late. So either way that kid is going to have to face the shitty music.
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3Ass and Pete need to tell it that they will put it up for adoption as soon as it comes out. That baby would jump out with the adoption papers ready to sign before Ass could say "acid reflux."
Michael K, you made me laugh so much with this article... I know I'm a woman, but please, will you marry me ? :-p
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Recently, a woman in England paid over 17 000 $ for her cat to spend 6 days in an oxygen tent to cure its paralyzed larynx. The cat showed its gratitude by briefly holding eye contact...
The baby is terrified of seeing it's father's face and hearing more of his music, not to mention the poor thing is probably horrified at the thought of being fondled by it's pedo grandfather.
Here's one thing that helps induce labor -- sex. Orgasms help get the equipment going.
Which, given that she's married to the femme douchebag Pete Wentz, explains why she ain't goin' into labor.
Next time you post about her, just use a picture of the ever-pregnant woman on family guy.
She's been pregnant forever.
Maybe Emo baby is still getting flat ironed and applying eye liner for it's debut.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
surgery, schmurgery...you can't polish a turd.
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Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
I'm sorry, foot massages? Is that as successful a labour-inducer as poking your right knee at a 45 degree angle??
True, plastic surgery was her best move she is so pretty now. Too bad she couldn't get talent reassignment surgery as well.
Ashlee actually looks pretty in the above pic. Jessica, not so much. Best wishes for her and her forthcoming emo baby. As you can all tell, I'm pretty neutral on my feelings for the above dweeby folks, whatever....
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Ashlee getting surgery was her best move. She is really pretty now.
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how ever long our love will last, I always want to call you "friend"....
-Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks "Whenever I Call You Friend"
WOW almost looks like shes prego in this picture tooo
xx Bunny
30 yr old leg hanging out her snatch, MK, you kill me! And no, I wouldn't want to come out either if I had them for a family. What? I'm not going to be put up for adoption?!? Well, fuck that, man, fuck that!
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
how many months prego is she? has she even hit the 9th month mark yet?
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C'mon, you know you want to.. www.seekingdesperately.blogspot.com/ ..it's ok- I won't tell..
Someone tell that baby that squeezing your melon through a birthcanal is the best flat-iron-job you`ll ever get, and that little sucker will come out in 3 - 2 - 1 ....
Festivus for the rest of us!!
Submitted by Golden on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 10:48am.
Did Papa Joe used to dress them back then?
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He'd help with their undies but then would skitter off to the bedroom with a bottle of Jergen's. Sick fuck.
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Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
WOW it's incredible. Upon inspecting that pic a little bit closer, the transformation Asshole went thru is unreal. How the fuck?? She was really young here and features change a little bit as you grow older, no? I'm flabber gasted.
That baby knows the sham of a life it's getting itself into(hence no birth). Which reminds me of a sweet sweet song:
But when the child grows up
to have more than just your eyes
Don't be surprised
Gotta love the old school dark-wash denim jacket and colored polyester leopard print shirt. Takin' in it back to 1997--with BS noses included. Did Papa Joe used to dress them back then?
I wouldn't want to come out if I had those 2 for parents either.
maybe it's a girl, and is afraid of Papa Joe. Can't blame it for that....
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how ever long our love will last, I always want to call you "friend"....
-Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks "Whenever I Call You Friend"
I wonder why jessica looks fat in that picture.
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That pic is truly fascinating. I thought Chestica's double D's were supposed to be real? You mean her dad was bragging on her FAKE boobies?? Somehow that makes it even creepier. Didn't think that was possible. The Simpson's must be taking lessons from the Spears in bottom of the barrell scraping.
i hope the baby has asslee's original schnozz
I feel so bad for this baby. It probably will come out already knowing how to roll its eyes after listening to those two dumb twats talk while in utero.
It probably will come out with a third eye or with superpowers... I'm thinking all the hair dye, eyeliner, and hair straightening balm has to have mutated the baby's DNA somehow.
This stupid, no-talent fool is still around? Wow.
the nose! that's it! damn that's a schnoz if i seen one
That's the melody to funky town!
Ashley reminds me of Nicky Hilton in that pic...must be the nose
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I love him ♥
hahahahah thanks for the visuals MK. 30 y/o emo dude sticking out of assholes vagina. awesome. i wouldn't want to come out either if i had those two as parents.
and that's asshole next to jessica, no?. she looks so different now. ugly bitch
That's the melody to funky town!
Maybe the baby's flat-ironed hair is stuck in a crevice.
She probably wants it out so she can have six weeks by doctor's orders of Papa Joe not being allowed to offer to "check" her for dilation.
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I didn't hit you. I simply high-fived your face.
Baby's afraid of Papa Simpson and his greedy hands.
He's hoping for a Brangelina pay out.
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Who's that cute girl w/ Jessica?... omg~
:P
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For some reason I actually like Ashlee... Not sure why, and when they say the baby doesn't want to come out, don't they really mean they haven't been able to schedule the c-section yet? Or decide on what birthday they want to give it?
Speaking of Emo sadness, Pete Wentz has actually written a book (well, his name and eyeliner is on the cover). I saw it at the bookstore this weekend, but didn't dare touch it in case emo is infectious.
WOW - how sad is that? Two young women that have had that much surgery. Blame their idiot, manipulative, money grubbing parents.
I had to read the article because at first glance I didn't recognize them.
Stick a fork in her bellayyy. DONE
jeebus how much plastic surgery have these two had?
Oh Poor Kiddie....It's Going to have some TooOldToBeDressingLikeThatGoodForNothingTotallyIdiotic Relatives.
"I love this record babe... But, I can't see straight anymore"
HOLY NOSE JOB ASHLEY
Submitted by The C word on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:45am.
The baby probably saw Pete waiting at the end of the tunnel with a flat iron and a sharpie.
LMFAO
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