Sasha Fierce Needs New Dancers
Sasha Fierce pounced into "SNL" last night to perform that "Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)" song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.
Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don't mean that in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.
Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I've shown this shit before, but it's time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I'm having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who's going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?
BONUS! - Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.
BONUS, PART II! - Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform "If I Were A Boy." Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn't have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.
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It must have been hard for the dancers to learn such an awkward routine. I couldn't get my eyes off the blonde either--its just soft core porn, and I like it just fine. ;)
I just wanted to be in the front row so I could slip dollars into their panties....
I want Beyonce's bank account, but no way would I want to be her. I could not handle having to do sex with her man.
And hot little bitch in his bedroom just makes my day.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:17pm
Creemy has a little comingback goin' on there.
Next, Creemy will be calling us BIG BUTT MOMS MAKING HAMPERS WITH THE GOLD VIOLINS ON DRAIN-O BOXES!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:12pm.
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Listen, not all mankind has shit for brains. Some of us have minimum taste and intelligence, which are absolutely incompatible with buying the shit Beyawnce and the likes of her sell. Just get fucking over with it and thank goodness you are as stupid as they come. Remember, ignorance is bliss!
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:12pm.
"YOU GET DRUNK IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER IMAGING YOU HAVE A FUCKING FAN."
Is it an oscillating fan? Ceiling Fan? Sock Slot Green Bean Tennis Can Fan?
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I've been drunk ON a computer; does that count with teh Creemy? I ALMOST posted here while drunk post-election party night, but I took a lil' nap on my keyboard instead. That's motor skills talent I've yet to achieve, unforch.
angel_i! Thank you-xo! He is so fucking hot!!! I hope he uploads more...I'm not a youtuber but I'm gonna look out for him now.
Also, for good measure. Fuck wigyonce!
I do like this guy dancing in the second video...
*grabs pantyhose, boyfriend's underpants and scissors
'scuse me for a minute.
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
I think Basement Baby figured out how to get her internet access back.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Creemy, WHY SO ANGRY?!!!
wow.
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No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
- Minnie Riperton "Lovin You"
I LUVS him! I want one!
PS. I don't need a fan - it's fucking cold here.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Oh God. That was bad.
That was so fucking bad.
Can't believe bitches buy her shit, honestly... my eyes and ears have just been assaulted by that video.
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:02pm.
She's dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld in that third clip!!!
And over emoting as usual. WAAAAAY over the top.
here's a real singer so you can apologize to your ears: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UMpjpuVors
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Don't worry, TITS. It's only a matter of time before Beyondsane is doing her movie of the week too.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
@angry mom:
Here's a compare:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ifGHUfR5Ks
But he hasn't uploaded anything else.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
"YOU GET DRUNK IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER IMAGING YOU HAVE A FUCKING FAN."
Is it an oscillating fan? Ceiling Fan? Sock Slot Green Bean Tennis Can Fan?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
ALL YOU STUPID FUCKERS SIT HERE 24/7. ANYTIME I READ COMMENTS IT'S THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS. DUMB WHORES.
Also, fuck wigyonce. She has not a creative thought in that empty uneducated head of hers.
That stupid "if I were a boy song" was not hers to being with http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/music-music-videos/85342-beyonces-stole...
and she totally ripped ciara's groove from "like a boy" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASfVhYbadxI
and did it with painful mediocrity
BOOOO Beyonce
Submitted by Khandi on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:06pm.
GOTDAMN!! Pearl_Necklace (love that name) do you kiss you mamma with that mouf?
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hahaaa! Well, I kissed something else with dat mouf last night, so the dirty went to my head :D
...and this place is inspiring, what can I say?
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT?
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Voila! My talent! (Be fair now - no one's poured millions of dollars into it's development!):
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!
♥ ThreadKilla!
PS@Pearl Necklace: Me too:)
PSS@TITS : Awesome Shirley Bassey! I got in on now:)
OK, Sheeps. You need to stop giving your club hook-ups your internets whereabouts. Bitches are stalking your hot ass.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:06pm.
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Give it up, Kanye. Fucking with us will never get you in Beyonce's pants 'cause they belong to daddy donchaknow?
Who is the hot slut in the second video??? I WANT MORE-he is so fucking en fuego!!!-someone find more of him dancing-please!
xo
GOTDAMN!! Pearl_Necklace (love that name) do you kiss you mamma with that mouf?
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:00pm.
HOW IN THE FUCK CAN YOUR AUDIENCE SEE YOU DO A SPOT ON SINCE YOU ARE CAMPED HERE 24/7? YOU GET DRUNK IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER IMAGING YOU HAVE A FUCKING FAN.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:02pm.
here's a real singer so you can apologize to your ears: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UMpjpuVors
Ha! I had forgotten about that song. Nice.
HAHAHAHA I watched that blond bytch like "is this affrimative action in reverse or did B pick a skinny white chick that can't dance to back her up?" But homeboy there....now THAT was fierce! AND his body was better than all three of em...spank you azz boy, WORK!
I gotta agree, Justin was hiliarious (I also think he is on SNL, he should quit attempting to sing if he admits on camera he cannot), but Adam and Bobby KILLED IT!!! The hip/butt roll combo...I guess some white folks DO have rhythm!!!
@ Creemy
My talent is that I do not write in all caps to scream at people.
Control that rage babe, you'll get an ulcer.
No yelling poster, I do not wish I was BeSashacita.
She is a pretty girl and all but SHE SUCKED LAST NIGHT! Her voice, OMG, she skeerd my cats.
Can anyone say, OVER EMOTING?
It was scary. I watched hoping for Tina Fey. Eh.
*puts on armor* I thought Justin was funny.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
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Kanye, is that you?
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Flatulated: Okay, I take it back about the dancing and stuff, because Tina Turner and Prince do all that showmanship and they really are genius talented.
I guess what I'm saying is that if you're not a spectacularly talented singer, it's easy to make up for it by a whole bunch of distractionary fuckery.
Reminds me of the time Britney Spears was on SNL and sat on a stool and sang "Not a Girl, Not Yet A Woman." It was embarassing. Madonna is the same way. Not a good singer, but she puts on a show.
She's dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld in that third clip!!!
And over emoting as usual. WAAAAAY over the top.
here's a real singer so you can apologize to your ears: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UMpjpuVors
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"I'd have sex with a number of the Muppets. I just don't talk about it publicly." - Mandy Patinkin
...whew
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
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WELL FUCK UUUUU FUCKETY FUCK DIDDLER!!! FUCK I'LL TELL YA WHAT THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING TALENT: FUCKING WIT YO BEYONCE THATS FUCKING WHAT, FUCKETYFUCKFUCKER HEAD!! AND FUCK OFF WITH YO FANTARDYFUCKETYNESS TO BEYONCEISMYSLOPPYHO.COM, YOU FUCKTARDY MEATHEADED MOFO MUTHUFUCKA FUCKER!!!
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
hasn't anyone ever told you all caps are rude?
i don't want to be beyonce at all...thanks very much
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
When drunk, I do a spot-on Keanu Reeves impression.
All jokes aside, that chick killed it and I peeped granny trying to pick herself up.....lol
~Live your life, not mines~
Submitted by Inflatuated on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:51pm.
Tina Turner would have made this dance number hot, spectacular. I like Beyonce (I refuse to call her by her alter ego name) but seeing her do this gig I kinda feel success is going to her head, corrupting her vision of herself.
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EXACTLY! Tina Turner is pushing 70 and visibly sings through her entire numbers AND could wipe the floor with Beyonce's lopsided ass with this number in her sleep.
@ angel-i: replaying that hotshit for 3rd time!
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
Submitted by kacky on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:55pm.
Meanwhile, watch at 3:37 when B is sitting down (why?) and the blonde one gets up off the floor. She looks like my Great Grandma getting up from weeding the flowerbed! Creeeeeeeeeak
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LOL! I TOTALLY thought the same thing! That's funny.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
For someone who is supposed to be showcasing her voice, she does an awful lot of spazzing around and wearing shitty ugly costumes. I know it's supposed to be entertainment, but...
I have had MUCH more pleasurable experiences watching Rickie Lee Jones on a stage with a guitar, listening to her VOICE. No dancing or pyrotechnics or backup dancers. Just a singer, connecting with the audience.
I guess I'm a snob, but this Beyonce crap is like McDonald's in the mall. REAL music is like a bistro in Paris.
IF I were a boy:
I wish she'd strengthen those lower registers. It really bugs me. And the way she moves suggests (to me) that she doesn't really get this song.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
The bitch in the second video is truly fierce!
Submitted by Khandi on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:46pm.
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Dunno why you thought of it, but thanks! I heart Toni Collette.
Meanwhile, watch at 3:37 when B is sitting down (why?) and the blonde one gets up off the floor. She looks like my Great Grandma getting up from weeding the flowerbed! Creeeeeeeeeak
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MK is a businesswoman!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:50pm.
and re the hot thang in the second video: WHOOTWHOOOOT!! will the REAL Sasha Fierce please stand UP!
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Yeah, babay! THAT's what I'm talkin' about!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:41pm.
I think her lead vocals were recorded. You can see the mic moving away from her lips and she doesn't lose her breath despite the dance moves.
Am I in trouble, ah-gain?
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I saw that too....but if you pay attention, you see that she doesn't actually sing THAT much. It's MOSTLY background. And she only really works it during one short section the rest of the time, she slows or stops. I think she's singing.
You're always in trouble;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Made it through 29 seconds of the 1st video. Done.
EDIT: This was even funnier than Twatney's "Woooominizer" video.
Oh, wait. It wasn't supposed to be funny?
Is she the new "gloved one"?
Single glove...she looks so f*cking stupid with that one glove on as she gets jiggywidit...and
she forgot her pants!
Tina Turner would have made this dance number hot, spectacular. I like Beyonce (I refuse to call her by her alter ego name) but seeing her do this gig I kinda feel success is going to her head, corrupting her vision of herself.
and re the hot thang in the second video: WHOOTWHOOOOT!! will the REAL Sasha Fierce please stand UP!
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OBAMALOONIE
Submitted by Green Is Good on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:45pm.
Made it through 29 seconds of the 1st video. Done.
that's a record, I got to the 0:19 mark and choked up on my veggie sammy...
I wonder who J and his big dick likes to fuck the best. Beyonce os Sasha. Sasha probably takes it in the butt.
JT can be pretty funny when he's not being a douche.