Sasha Fierce Needs New Dancers
Sasha Fierce pounced into "SNL" last night to perform that "Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)" song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.
Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don't mean that in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.
Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I've shown this shit before, but it's time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I'm having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who's going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?
BONUS! - Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.
BONUS, PART II! - Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform "If I Were A Boy." Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn't have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.
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@MY2C: HEY! I'm still tryna think of a prize! What's your favourite song?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 8:36pm.
Yes - this is how I know all the words to Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne songs. Don't laugh at Avril, dude - she has great songwriters. It's way better when we sing it:)
Really. It's not that hard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRNnENy2t-I
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HAHAHA!! Owww my ears! I didn't really need evidence that Avril sucked...but I'm glad you did it anyway. It's like the sound of kitties being tortured. Yikes!
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
HeatherlyG:
you and i have to go to vegas and get married right away. i love your comment. and i love you lolololol marry me! NOW!
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Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
you know you like to lick dookie off your lips.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 8:50pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 8:36pm.
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Hahahahaha! Yes but what happens to you if you accidentally start to sing along? (and let's face it, it's like brain-washing, eventually you can't help it). My daughter goes rigid with disgust and lectures me sternly on the embarassment, nay, shame!
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O no, I don't have that problem:) My daughter thinks I should go Canadian Idol! I should tell her, one day, that I'm not really 21:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
She looked like she's had some serious lypo-suction done and face work done.
Her cabbage, cayenne and maple syrup diet never took off those hamster pouches and gigantic ass like she's been whittled down too.
Jay-zee's money sure makes her world go 'round.
He should invest in getting her some real voice lessons and someone to implant and personality. Plus, I think she always sounds like some white girl trying talk with a black accent.
Is she ever going to make a statement, comment, anything to empathize with Jennifer Hudson?
We all know she's jealous as hell of the talent in Hudson's little toe, but would it kill her or her "spokes people" to at least appear to be decent humans.
Beyonce doesn't have any kids yet (we think), but if she did I can't see how she could not reach out to Hudson. I have a 10yr old son, and I can't even bear to see Hudson's nephew's picture. How could anyone not FEEL pain for her and what that poor little baby boy had to go through.
I'm not trying to upset any Beyonce fans, but seriously, I've always thought she was a shallow, barely-talented, "fuck her way up the ladder", type of person. Looking out for #1.
Instead of Sasha Fierce, how about just kind-hearted Beyonce? Her reaching out and supporting Hudson, would have gone a lot farther than her new Barbie body and dancing around with Michael Jackson's left over props/relics.
Hey Beyonce---I'd like to see everyone just Boycott you and Jay-zee's bongo-pounding "music".
By the way, that song "Crazy in Love" was great until the bongo pounding shit came into the song.
I just hope to God Obama stays away from them.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 8:36pm.
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Hahahahaha! Yes but what happens to you if you accidentally start to sing along? (and let's face it, it's like brain-washing, eventually you can't help it). My daughter goes rigid with disgust and lectures me sternly on the embarassment, nay, shame! of mothers that try to be *cool*. Hoooly, lucky she doesn't see me busting out the moves in the shower, she'd really not be happy.
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
@joe schmoe:
Yes - this is how I know all the words to Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne songs. Don't laugh at Avril, dude - she has great songwriters. It's way better when we sing it:)
Really. It's not that hard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRNnENy2t-I
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 8:12pm
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In my case, liking Beyonce's music is a well-honed self-defence mechanism. My teenage daughter will be blasting it for the next month or so probably, as she gets ready for school in the morning, sooooooo...................
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
Submitted by kacky on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:57pm.
I'm sure you're right. I was thinking more about the comment someone else made about girls being taught to not put out until they get the ring or other kinds of gifts. I really think that is not at all exclusive to females. I know plenty of guys who've done it. Myself included. It's not exactly something I'm proud of, but I kinda think it's something a lot of folks do whether they realize it or not.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
oh yeah I like her hair...
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
dang Justin Timberlake was killing that choreography!
I respect Beyonce's work ethic but truthfully I think she just gets on my nerve with that same booty shaking move and her damn yodeling. I want to shake her by the neck and tell her she's got the talent, now just keep in simple.
You have to understand Aaliyah was one of my favorites so Bey is just a total opposite. Bey makes me miss Aaliyah's class and grace and style that much more, because it just seemed more natural and effortless and understated, and Bey just always looks and sounds like she's overkilling it and straining.
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 7:43pm.
Submitted by ImStillToni on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 7:26pm.
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I liked it. I liked the choreography. Plus the song is now trapped in my head.
*bracing self*
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I kinda like it. And in her defense, SNL performances are ALWAYS the weakest. I get uppity about the body comments too because I get sick of ONE body type being considered beautiful. I see beauty in strength and softness, largeness and smallness...the human form is a lovely thing. It does not have to be stick thin for that to be so.
That being said I 1. think Beyonce's doing a service to people who may become sedentary because they think a body-type like that shouldn't/can't move and 2. In MY opinion, she could use a little more definition. I find her MILF-y softness a little distracting at times.
That is all:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
zomay, I am in the Bev Hills/Santa Monica area, so it is just kinda smoky out there. I get a headache from being outside though, so have spend most of the
day home. Poor doggie is bored though.
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"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Submitted by just a floozy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 7:58pm.
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I find the whole Beyonce thing really mystifying," Cowell says in Esquire magazine. "She's not sexy, she hasn't got a great body and she's not a great singer.
Simon Cowell on beyonce.
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I find it interesting that Monsieur Cowell puts being *sexy and having a great body* before her singing talent. That in a nutshell is what is wrong with entertainment today. It's about looking good and not about having any real talent. And by the way, Simon Cowell needs to shut up about other people's deficiencies in the sexy bod dept. He looks like he could breast-feed triplets. Nasty.
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
PSL heheheeeheee would like to see a picture on there.
Hope you are not getting too much smoke. And Anyone in Yorba Linda/Corona area hope you are safe.
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parissucksliterally, angel_i:
yeah justins cool!
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I find the whole Beyonce thing really mystifying," Cowell says in Esquire magazine. "She's not sexy, she hasn't got a great body and she's not a great singer.
Simon Cowell on beyonce.
Submitted by ImStillToni on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 7:26pm.
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I liked it. I liked the choreography. Plus the song is now trapped in my head.
*bracing self*
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
Beyonce does not look like a football player. If you want to see someone who's built like a football player, look at Shitney Smears.
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Who said Miley Cyrus was ok? WHO?!?
I will cuttabeech! Trust.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
ImStillToni, no one here thinks it is ok when Miley does it, the general consensus is alter ego shit hasn't really worked for ANYONE.
Relax honey. Slow down, re-read some posts.....
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"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Why are you guys tripping over her COSTUMES. That's right, I said COSTUMES, not outfits. She basically had a jacket over a leotard and professional dancers where them every damn day.
I'm 30, I'm Black, I happen to like B. When rappers steal beats, its called sampling, and the younger generation sucks it up like these people originated it when it was indeed stolen, repackaged, and represented to the masses. Yet when Beyonce does it (and I feel she pays homage, when does she TAKE CREDIT for it?), its a fuggin crime. I love the fact she is bringing back the Tina Turner-esque type of performance so that these KIDS can see the type of entertainment us older folks grew up with. When you paid for a concert ticket and actually saw A SHOW. Hate on her all you want, but she's RICH and she snagged a RICH man without getting kncoked up BEFORE getting married.
When Miley does a split personality its ok...but God forbid Beyonce do it! It has gotta be racial, cuz Black men (and women) love to see REAL bodies like hers instead of half starving Victoria's Secret models. I would take her top or bottom half in a heartbeat. And AS MUCH as my husband hates her, he wouldn't mind me having her thighs and azz anyday.
"Lower half like a linebacker" You crackers MUST be crazy cuz that is exactly the thickness Black men like. So I will now call all skinny white girls wiht no hips, thights or curves "coke heads" or Kate Moss." That is how stupid some of you sound
good point kacky. there's no need for the mic.
zomay, what will you add? that DL has the smartest commenters withe the snarkiest sense of humor? :)
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"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:37pm.
I always listen to the words of songs even if I can't understand what they'll mumbling or barking out.
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Me too.
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
We're warmed up like bisssscuitssss. DANCE bisssscuitssss.
Her weave is on too tight. Egomaniac.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:27pm.
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cool, but then why use a mic? She could uncover her face and free up her hand. If you're running a "backup tape", own it!!
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JAZZ HANDS!!
MTC - That hip wiggle! Can't get enough!!
MyTwoCents :D Heeeheeeheee
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:45pm.
MTC - the bebes are the ones that are wicked. Those little bastids suck you dry and steal all your money!
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That ain't the half of it. According to Sandbitch dey can also bust a perfectly good bagina.
I still can't stop watching JT...he freekin steals that skit!
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Submitted by MzSassy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:28pm.
I'm commenting on Beyonce because this thread is about her. I've watched her since she was a teen and DC was a foursome. I remember the first time she spoke about her songs and she was spouting off this hostility, this declaration about not taking any guff off of men.
I was like WTF is she talking about? She was only a kid, still wet behind the ears figuratively speaking. It was an immediate turn off for me. It's ugly and it definitely doesn't do anything to promote good relationships. She's trying to make a living, I understand that but I've run across far too many women who take those sentiments to heart.
You don't see any male singers doing that. She should be called out on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
MTC - the bebes are the ones that are wicked. Those little bastids suck you dry and steal all your money!
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:35pm.
I have always been against passive-aggressive behavior. I'm all about aggresive-passive behavior.
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HAHA!
"CAN I OFFER YOU A SANDWICH...TRY THE SALMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
To the people calling Beyonce beautiful: Take a look at Papa Knowles, picture him in a weave, and you've got Beyonce.
WAIT!!
You mean people actually listen to the words?
Huh.
That blows my mind
I gotta think about that...
*morphing into Rodin's The Thinker*
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Who the fuck knows what most folks do LOL just kidding....all I know is that I do try (for the most part) to listen to what the song is telling me.
"You smell like a baby prostitute." ~ Mean Girls
I always listen to the words of songs even if I can't understand what they'll mumbling or barking out.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
I have always been against passive-aggressive behavior. I'm all about aggresive-passive behavior.
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I noticed posters are complaining about Beyonce's attitude towards relationships in her songs, but what about Rihanna?!?!
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WAIT!!
You mean people actually listen to the words?
Huh.
That blows my mind
I gotta think about that...
*morphing into Rodin's The Thinker*
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Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Oh Why Don't You Come On Over, Valerie.
I don't mind Beyonce.I think she comes off snobby sometimes but she is extremely beautiful and a great performer.I think she is trying to embrace the gay community and gain them as fans which is great because they are an avid,hardcore fan base.The celebs with a gay following always have a longer career and can do more than celebs without the gay following.She might be able to pull this Sasha Fierce thing off.After last night I think she has a good shot.David Bowie was the only star with an alter ego that could really do it proper.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I noticed posters are complaining about Beyonce's attitude towards relationships in her songs, but what about Rihanna?!?! She does the same thing. In "Unfaithful" Rihanna sings about she knows it's wrong of her to cheat on her boyfriend with another man, yet despite this epiphany, she still pursues an adulterous affair - although at the end of the video, she has tears in her eyes and hugs her boyfriend. Still, it's ironic that in "Take A Bow" Rihanna sings about how she's all pissed off that HER man DARED to cheat on her cocky ass!
"You smell like a baby prostitute." ~ Mean Girls
I don't have a problem with Beyonce's body or her voice. And think she has a beautiful face too.
What I hate about her is her attitude towards fur and her treatment of animals. Other than that I ignore her and go one with my life cause I think she's pretty much done.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 4:10pm.
Mrs K, does Minch know he's a d.o.g?
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NO!
And he insists that we address him as Your Highness Prince Minch IV.
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Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Oh Why Don't You Come On Over, Valerie.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:21pm.
Do you think that's why so many babies come out with their cords around their necks? They think, "I'll show mommy. She's not giving me chocolate bars and wine shots every 14 minutes so I'm going to choke myself and from then on she'll give me anything I want."
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HAHAHA!! Little passive aggressive babehs! LCT you so funnay...and wicked!
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Mrs.Kravitz on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:23pm.
it's his demeanor and attitude.
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He has that sure. :D
I agree. She is a hard working lady, and gives her all in a performance. I don't care if she lipsynchs sometimes. She dances her ass off. There is no way she can do both. And yes, I felt the same way about Britney, when she used to dance her ass off.
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"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Submitted by Inflatuated on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 5:27pm.
Hi Mrs K,
Can I keep your statement as my signature comment? I love the simplicity of your explanation. Brilliance is softly spoken. Thanks!
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Um, sure. I was just about to copyright it but hey, what the hell. I am a giver, I give, it is what I do.
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Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Oh Why Don't You Come On Over, Valerie.
Heeeheeeeheeee the one skit where the family keeps kissing each other, was most probably written by Wiig. Or maybe the guys! "Okay so how can I get to kiss Rudd as often as possible?" "He's game."
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Submitted by funnygirl92 on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:11pm.
My point is she gives all her effort it's not half assed.
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Truedat. Girl CAN work it out:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ugbQHWxsP64
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:15pm.
Goodness! Paul Rudd has an average body and is not even what you say "sexy" in any way. And yet, he is sooo effing hot. I wan't to squeeze him.
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it's his demeanor and attitude.
Very fuckable.
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Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Oh Why Don't You Come On Over, Valerie.
Submitted by funnygirl92 on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 6:07pm.
The skit was funny, there are ALOT of things I don't like about Bey, but I give her credit every time she performs, she performs like it might be her last shot, she's still hungry like when they first get into that business none of that Mariah Carey crap where she acts like she's doing you the favor if she even shows up, she gives 100%, I can't hate on that.
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I totally agree... Beyonce may be a spoiled brat, but at least she takes her performances seriously... lol
"You smell like a baby prostitute." ~ Mean Girls