Kanye On The Paparazzi (Warning: CAPS Are Involved)
Kanye West pressed the CAPS lock key on his MacBook Air and put his fingers to work today on a blog rant dedicated to the paparazzi and their SQUID BRAINS. His entire post is after the jump, but it's a lot to take in. When I start to read a Kanye post, I have to massage my temples, give them a pep talk, play some Enya, light some incense and carefully go in. If I don't do all that shit, my eyes will have seizures and my one working brain cell will start burping uncontrollably.
Since I'm learning to read fluent Kanye CAPS Rant (it's a new language), let me break it down for you. Kanye explains his arrest in the UK on Friday. Basically, he was coming out of a club and one pap was getting up in his life. So Kanye put his hand up to cover up the dude's camera lens and in all the chaos, the camera accidentially hit the pap's nose. Kanye left, but the police came to get his ass at his hotel later on. They told him that they had to arrest him, because a complaint had been filed, but they're pretty sure it's just some dumb publicity stunt. No charges were filed and he was released, but Kanye thinks the damage is done, because every media outlet only focused on him getting arrested.
He believes that a law should be passed, forcing the a pap to get permission from their subject before taking a picture. Basically.
Oh, Kanye. I just want to take him into my kitchen, search my cupboard for that old box of Peeps I have from last Easter and give him half. Even old Peeps make everything okay. Especially if you dip that shit in fucking vodka. I'm not joking.
Anyranty, Kanye's entire post is after the jump. You might feel like he's yelling at your ass and you have to go stand in the corner for a time out after reading it. JUMP!!!!
Rant begins:
WHO'S WINNING, ME OR THE MEDIA?
REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH LIGHT I PUT OUT, THERE ARE PEOPLE WORKING JUST AS HARD TO ONLY DELIVER DARKNESS. IF YOU LISTEN TO MY MUSIC, HOW COULD I DELIVER SO MANY POSITIVE UPLIFTING MESSAGES AND BE THE MONSTER THAT THE MEDIA PAINTS. PAPARAZZI GIVE REAL PHOTOGRAPHERS A BAD NAME. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, THEIRS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND DOLLARS...
LET US NOT FORGET THE PAPS KILLED PRINCESS DIANA. WHEN WILL THERE BE A LAW PASSED THAT SIMPLY ENFORCES THAT SOMEONE HAS TO ASK TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU. THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE COMMON COURTESY. RIGHT NOW THE PAPS ARE ABOVE THE LAW AND THE PEOPLE THEY SHOOT ARE BELOW IT. WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IS PICTURES TAKEN WITH THE INTENT TO SELL....LIKE DRUGS WITH THE INTENT TO SELL... OR CROSSING CUSTOMS WITH ENOUGH MERCHANDISE TO HAVE THE INTENT TO SELL. THE EXPLOITATION OF MY IMAGE IS THE PROBLEM. IT PRODUCES A "BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY" BEHAVIOR THAT CAUSE THE PAPS TO DRIVE RECKLESSLY ON FREEWAYS, JUMP OVER FENCES AND INVADE PRIVACY ALL IN AN EFFORT TO GET THAT "MONEY SHOT." YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SELL A PICTURE OF ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. AFTER THIS LAW IS PASSED, WHEN YOU ENTER A PUBLIC PLACE LIKE A BASKETBALL ARENA ETC., THERE WILL BE A SIGN THAT READS..."ALL PHOTOS TAKEN HERE ARE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND CAN BE USED AT THE PHOTOGRAPHERS DISCRETION." OBVIOUSLY RED CARPET EVENTS WHERE PEOPLE SHOW UP TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED WILL ALSO APPLY. THE PERSONAL PROBLEM I HAVE WITH THE PAPS IS WHEN THEY TRY TO CATCH YOU BEING A REGULAR PERSON. I AM NOT A CELEBRITY. I'M A NORMAL PERSON THAT'S JUST FAMOUS. I REFUSE TO SNEAK IN AND OUT OF BACK DOORS AND KITCHENS OF HOTELS ETC....
I AM PROTECTING MY PERSONAL SPACE SINCE THERE ARE NO LAWS TO PROTECT THAT FOR ME.
I PUT MY HAND UP TO THE CAMERA IN SELF DEFENSE!
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED...WHEN I LEFT THE CLUB, I WAS ENCOUNTERED BY A THIRSTY PAPARAZZI AS USUAL. HE FELT HE HAD MORE RIGHTS TO MY SPACE THAN ME, SO I PUT MY HAND UP TO PREVENT HIM FROM TAKING MY IMAGE. I DIDN'T ASSAULT HIM BUT MERELY PUTTING MY HAND UP TO COVER HIS LENS. MY SECURITY YELLED, "GET THE CAMERA OFF HIM." I GUESS IN ALL THE COMMOTION THE CAMERA SCRAPED HIS NOSE.
THREE HOURS LATER I GET A KNOCK AT MY HOTEL DOOR. THERE WERE FIVE POLICE OFFICERS IN FRONT OF MY ROOM AND I HAD NO IDEA WHY. I HAD MY SECURITY GO SPEAK WITH THEM. THE COPS WERE VERY CORDIAL BUT TOLD ME THEY HAD TO ARREST ME BECAUSE A COMPLAINT WAS FILED. THAT WAS THE BOGUS PART. THEY PLACED ME IN HANDCUFFS AND DROVE ME TO THE STATION. THEY SPOKE ABOUT HOW THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY A PUBLICITY STUNT BY THE PHOTOGRAPHER BUT THEY STILL HAD TO GO THOUGH THE MOTIONS. WHEN I GOT BACK TO THE HOTEL THERE WERE PAPARAZZI HANGING OVER THE BRIDGE ABOVE THE HOTEL TRYING TO GET A SHOT OF ME GETTING OUT THE POLICE VAN. EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T CHARGED, THE DAMAGE WAS DONE. SURE ENOUGH THE NEXT MORNING, PLASTERED ACROSS EVERY MEDIA OUTLET... KANYE GETS ARRESTED. IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT I WASN'T CHARGED OR THE FACT THAT I HADN'T ASSAULTED ANYONE. ALL THAT MATTERED WAS THAT I WAS ARRESTED.
SIDEBAR, THEY QUOTED ME AS SAYING..."GET THE CAMERA OFF HIM!" LIKE I WAS TALKING IN THIRD PERSON. HE TRIED TO MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON AND PEOPLE BELIEVED HIM. WHAT MERIT DOES THIS GUY HAVE THAT HE CAN SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME AND PEOPLE TAKE IT AS LAW? THE FACT THAT HE COULD GET ME ARRESTED OFF A MERE COMPLAINT BUT I CAN'T ASK HIM TO STOP TAKING PICTURES OF ME IS VERY LOPSIDED.
WHO'S WINNING, ME OR THE MEDIA?
End of rant
Hey, it's Michael again. Are your eyes still working after reading that? Just making sure.....
This guy is a fkn idiot! I wondered if he would calm down after the death of his mother, but apparently he just can't help himself.
He is an arrogant, self-entitled, vapid, egotistical, obnoxious, irritating BRAT! Make him go away.. PLEASE!
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Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I cant even get into MY OWN pants!
I think Tigerlilly said it best:
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 9:16pm.
WHO'S WINNING, ZOO OFFICIALS OR ME?
IF YOU READ MY DLISTED POSTS, HOW COULD I DELIVER SUCH POSITIVE UPLIFTING MESSAGES AND BE THE MONSTER THAT ZOO OFFICIALS PAINT?
LET US NOT FORGET THAT ZOO OFFICIALS KILLED TATIANNA, THAT HOT BITCH TIGER THAT MAULED TO DEATH THOSE TEENAGERS WHO WERE ASKIN' FOR IT...
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And I added this cuz it's funny and also buried;P
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 11:34pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 11:32pm.
Whoa nelly, these lists are getting complicated!
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I heard something absolutely wretched last night that sadly had me laughing until I snorted.
UBC = University of a Billion Chinese.
PS Thanks, Manimal:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
You can't even read that shit. It makes my eyes hurt. My brother used to text all in caps, I told him that it's impolite and he stopped. I think it's a telling sign of a HUGE ego when you text or blog all in caps.
Your face!
peace out !
hey remember me ? triscuit . i can feel u really miss me ! B.S get ur fuckin spanish right ! it's PUTO not puta. STOOOOOOOOOPID!!!!!!!!!!!
"HE TRIED TO MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON AND PEOPLE BELIEVED HIM."
*doing hard blinks*
I am SHOCKED!
Kangays scoreboard:
Kangay: -48897856
Media: 1
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
twitle d
i don't know how much longer i can take being ignored
I think you watched fatal attraction too many times. YIKES!! Triscuit needs call the POPO's stat!
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by twitle d on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 11:05am.
That was weird! Things people do on the net!
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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Submitted by skeptical at best on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 10:27am.
i'm going to be so happy when i don't have to hear about anything related to kanye west (b/w him, beyonce, and sean combs i don't know who's the bigger egomaniac)
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I agree..I hate those 3. I have a fear that their egos will rise & they'll make huge speeches as soon as Obama becomes president.
Nothing racist about my comment...I don't see race (ala Colbert) but I'm told I'm black
i'm going to be so happy when i don't have to hear about anything related to kanye west (b/w him, beyonce, and sean combs i don't know who's the bigger egomaniac). for a guy who survived such a serious car accident you think he would be a little bit more humble.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 4:23am.
Hey - the vids up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv3AvJtWuUA
Another good one!
Miss the old Shitney, Angel.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
StickaCock:
What an asshole thing to say about Kanye needing to be considered dead like his mother.........that was low. If you don't like Mr. West, than okay, but don't bring his mother into your twisted sense of righteousness. You're a grade A bitch.
He is a talent guy, I heard that he held his concert in Beijin China.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Catch the hot star @ MEET RICH. COM for sexual, casual or serious relationship with hot babes, rich and sexy singles...
Let's hope MK wakes up from his Nyquil coma soon and gets this mouthbreather off the first page.
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Dick happens! - MK
capye is hot.
DEar kayne I hope the paps stops taking pictures of you and consider you dead like your mother.
I hope u are reading this!
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Well Kanye does have a point, it does at times seem like a bit scary to have people photographing you "by any means necessary" and nothing can stop them from antagonizing you in whatever way necessary to get that "money shot".
BTW, the Royals & Illuminati killed Princess Di for being pregnant with an Arab's baby and then staged it to be the paparazzi's fault ..
Here is the Jekyll & Hyde of showbiz, these record companies spend gazillions cramming these "serious artistes' down the throats of the collective public , then scream "back off and leave me alone" ... Go Figure..
Kanye is no different than most public figures these days, boorish egotistical selfish douchebags..
Ive worked with enough celebs and entertainers to tell you they are the MOST insecure, fucked up lot that you would ever want to cross the street to get away from ...
"If it doesnt have a working peen,then Kate's not leaving with it"-MK
Hey, it's Michael again. Are your eyes still working after reading that? Just making sure....
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I dont know why this line makes me giggle :D
He'll be crying when in a few years no pap will be willing to take a pic of his annoying ass!
The man has a valid point. The junk photographers do think themselves above and beyond reproach and they do provoke just to get the shot they want.
CAPS MAKE IT MORE FUN AND KEEP OPTICIANS IN BUSINESS!
--thanks awfully--
Cornel West needs to turn and smack some sense into him.
I didn't even read his captastic thing I just jumped.
nah you're not a douche...
Okay I don't like Kanye at all but he does have a point, the paps are just out of control these days. I like gossip just as much as the next person but some of those paps are just completely out of control.
NO YOU'RE A DOUCHE! caps caps caps
"I AM PROTECTING MY PERSONAL SPACE SINCE THERE ARE NO LAWS TO PROTECT THAT FOR ME."
yeah, yeah.. and he's lovin' every minute of it... on that note... sleeping.... oh yeah... Kanye is a douche
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
I remember at camp when I was a kid some guy said he's brown because of all the brownies he ate. Dude got in so much trouble for that.lol:P
no he's cute.
i've said it once, i'll say it again... this guy is fuckin' worthless
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
The Caps'tain is back.
ha, mine aren't. But I actually agree with him on this one...
Test.
And Good Night already. Or Good Morning or whatever.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
PS. Je me souviens:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 4:19am.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:51am.
Hey - the vids up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv3AvJtWuUA
♥
I already rated it!
LOVED the 'L' on her forehead!
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YAY! It was you! Thanks:)
It's funny - cuz I felt bad about it and I went back and took it out. But now it's just silly to change it...it's rated and everything! LOL
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:51am.
Hey - the vids up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv3AvJtWuUA
♥
I already rated it!
LOVED the 'L' on her forehead!
had forgotten just how badly she danced/lumbered around on the stage for that song. yeessh.
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"I'd have sex with a number of the Muppets. I just don't talk about it publicly." - Mandy Patinkin
My pleasure, Triscuit:)♥
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
angel...I fucking LOVE that!
I will repeat it to some of my AA friends.Thanks!
♥SmOOOtcheS♥
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Hey - the vids up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv3AvJtWuUA
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
@Triscuit:
That's awesome. You have to do that - you really have to push at it at first. It won't always be like that but it HAS to be like that at first.
LOL! Once I had a counselor who I practically gave more to than I got from...she was a student...cool - cuz I just talked and talked and I really needed to do that at the time...
ANYWAY - I gave her this: Is it Jung? I don't even know any more....It's the windmill analogy.
We all do it in life, we all set a windmill in motion...but sometimes you find that you've set it in the wrong direction (with the idea that there are two sides to every coin, so to speak) for whatever reason - it's often elemental but not always. And the only way to spin that Windmill in the other direction is to apply double the force and before it actually starts turning in the other direction - it stops. And that feels weird but you really gotta revel in the emptiness because it's chock full of opportunities. And then, slowly, it begins to turn again...only the way you've set it, intentionally, this time.
SoR-RaY! I'm verbose - it's late - I had an easy day:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
THREE HOURS LATER I GET A KNOCK AT MY HOTEL DOOR. THERE WERE FIVE POLICE OFFICERS IN FRONT OF MY ROOM AND I HAD NO IDEA WHY. I HAD MY SECURITY GO SPEAK WITH THEM. THE COPS WERE VERY CORDIAL BUT TOLD ME THEY HAD TO ARREST ME BECAUSE A COMPLAINT WAS FILED.... KANYE GETS ARRESTED.
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SIDEBAR, THEY QUOTED ME AS SAYING..."GET THE CAMERA OFF HIM!" LIKE I WAS TALKING IN THIRD PERSON. HE TRIED TO MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON AND PEOPLE BELIEVED HIM.
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Ha!
(Now, Kanye. Do you really think people are gonna pick through that mess to fact-check me?)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:24am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well I have 2 kids and we live in a "suburban"white picket fence neighborood,so there is alot of houses.
Dude..I have been going to 3 meetings a day.
It is really starting to sink in(I hope)☺
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by Triscuit on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:18am.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:10am.
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I have been downing club soda like a muthafucka!
and eating all my kids Halloween candy! haha
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YAY!
The vid is coming...I just had to check it one more time...it was awful! It was just like working with Britney! For some reason that sound file wouldn't match up ANYWHERE but at the beginning...so to edit it I had to listen to the whole damn thing every time. UGH!
Your kid still has Hallowe'en candy?!?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
oh God and on topic-MY FUCKING EYES!!!!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:10am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have been downing club soda like a muthafucka!
and eating all my kids Halloween candy! haha
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by Triscuit on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:53am.
Ever since I stopped drinking,I can't fucking sleep.And it sucks cause I want a beer reallllly badly :(
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Don't do it, Triscuit.
I got a Britney vid coming up soon:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Ever since I stopped drinking,I can't fucking sleep.And it sucks cause I want a beer reallllly badly :(
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
I put the paps #1 on my douche list for taking pictures of folk I just don't give a fuck about doing things that just aren't even fucking relevant.
why would they being taking apic of him coming out of a club? to put with a caption "Kanye leaves club"....Douchery!
King of those douches is obviously that Adnan Aflac dude that banged Britney. If that doesn't make you a douche, what does?
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Goodnight sex hookahs! I hope my dlisted lovelies have a good night. ♥
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
Oops my bad
Lulz anyone else notice Dr. Cornel West is next to Kanye?