Coming Soon: A "Real Housewives" Beat Down!
Lisa Wu Hartwell, the Alexyss K. Tylor clone, from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" has a brown belt in Kajukenbo and is ready to use her skills to beat Kim's wig right off of her pony head. Lisa told Essence.com that shit got heated during the reunion show.
Lisa said, "Let's just say, Kim pushed the wrong and the last button, which takes me there. Normally, I conduct myself professionally and I prefer to turn the other cheek, but you can't allow people to continue to play with you because they'll think they can do that all day, every day. So I'd say that people will be surprised because I was surprised and somewhat embarrassed myself, but I'm human and you have to let people know that they can't just say whatever they want to you. I've been extremely diplomatic and there are horrible things I could have said but I have chosen not to and still do. When you come after my integrity or my family, then you're going to see a different person."
The different person Lisa is talking about came alive and left Kim a few voicemails threatening to come down to her house. The voicemails made Kim's 30-year-old ass (HA!) run to a lawyer for protection. Apparently, she wants some kind of restraining order against Lisa, because she's afraid she's going to wipe the sidewalk with her tortured polyester mop on her head.
Outside of her townhouse in Atlanta, Kim played one of the voicemails from Lisa to TMZ. In the voicemail, Lisa says, "I am not the one. I am not Sheree and I am not NeNe. You really don't know who I am, so I think you need to call me. And I might just be coming to your house."
YES! Please go to her house, Lisa! And bring several camera crews. And bring NeNe too! She can sing her hit song "I know I said I was 29, but I know I'm really 89" during the beat down. This could be the pay-per-view event of the year!
Click here to see Kim act all professional-like while speaking to TMZ. I love how she says she's shooting a movie with Demi Moore and David Duchovny. Yeah, more like she's standing in the background with all the other extras. Bitch, don't pull a "Phoebe Price." Only she can get away with saying shit like that.
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*singing* I beat that bytch with a bat
I beat
I beat
I beat that bytch with a bat
I love Kim's sleazy low down attorney. He looks like one of the Gallagher brothers from Oasis.
Count the number of those hot dogs around Kim's neck and they'll tell you her real age. She's ridiculous.
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:17pm.
I believe it's on Bravo but I'm not sure the day & time sorry. I watched my very first episodes on Remembrance Day, they had back to back episodes on Bravo all day.
So is Lisa the one that has the real estate company with her football player husband?? Hmmm...she seemed somewhat normal. And just who is the chubby one who was interviewing people for her "staff", I think she's married to some basketball player or something? Like being the wife of a pro athelete is so fucking stressful....HIGHlarious!!
Girl Fight! Can't wait to see it!
Ho buster #1!
Hey, there's no rule saying you have to count ALL the years you've been alive. Kim counted 29...um...the 29 good years...maybe 29 years of being a professional concubine. Y'all jus jellus h8ers. You know you wanna be a married man's whore. You know you want to put the synthetic hair of a million Barbies on your head. You know you wanna dodge beatdowns from half the broads in Atlanta. That's called livin'! Stop hatin'!!
i thought they were together
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Live NYC shows on RealityBedroom
www.realitybedroom.com
MK, thank you for posting pictures of these two luke-warm messes... you made this fat girl feel pretty.
If you compare the picture of Kim that you posted & the TMZ video... When did Kim get a nose job?!?!
29? uhmmm lol! On what planet? Planet Delusional!
Lisa only seems normal because the rest are so trashy. But in all honesty Lisa is a self loving narcissistic bitch who thinks way too much of herself. It is all about 'me myself and I 'for all these hoes. Crap and she does look like a friggin eggplant head
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
the girl on the rights got a real eggplant head and face..
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Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
Submitted by SkyIsGangsta on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 11:45pm.
I don't like when people don't have spaces between their noses and lips. Shallow I know but don't care.
You know you are right ... my personal hate is 10 foot of forehead and no bangs!
This made my night. I dont get Kim with all the Botox yet she still has a beak like Gonzo from the Muppets.
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When you're driving down the street with your hook hand and its shininess reflects off the sun and temporarily blinds you, causing you to crash into a tree, you'll think of Monifa.
~M.K.
I've never watched this mess. But I will say that there's no way on God's green earth that Kim is anywhere less than 40, by any calendar you want to count on.
I don't like when people don't have spaces between their noses and lips. Shallow I know but don't care.
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.
<"Bitch, don't pull a "Phoebe Price."">
Phoebe Price had a more impressive legal team with her battle against Chanel. Isn't Kim's lawyer the same guy who hosts "Cheaters"?
Kim's "singing' sounds like a cat being ass-raped by barbed wire. And that is AFTER the sound guys try to fix it.
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:55pm.
Kim can't sing FOR SHIT!!!
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Maybe she can sing for shit, like if her life depended on it because she was constipated.
Bet she'd sing like a canary.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 11:02pm.
Submitted by Inflatuated on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:35pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:26pm.
Hey, In. Thanks for the good wishes, but Tigerlilly is the one getting married...to her vibrator, after a God Warrior Mormon suggested she do just that.
We're all down with it. How about you? Can we count on you at the reception? Free Jello shots!
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
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Well congrats be to you, dear Tigelilly. Sometimes, just sometimes, and not always, maybe just a few days a month, I wish I'd married my vibrator. I'm sure my hubby wished I'd done that too, LOL, just a few days a month.
But yeah, fer sure, I'm up for the jello shots, and being in the food biz, the red meat is on me, no pun intended.
Hugs, all the way around.
Submitted by Inflatuated on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:35pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:26pm.
Hey, In. Thanks for the good wishes, but Tigerlilly is the one getting married...to her vibrator, after a God Warrior Mormon suggested she do just that.
We're all down with it. How about you? Can we count on you at the reception? Free Jello shots!
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:38pm.
Slash not, bebe. On a thread yesterday a God Warrior invited Tigerlilly to marry her vibrator, and we all decided that would be a great idea.
It was wedding planning by thread committee.
We needed you!!
You can be my date...along with Courtney Love's dressed up butt plug. (I promised.)
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Damn, I wonder what Kim could have said to Lisa. It had to have been pretty "low-budget bitchish" as Kim would say, because Lisa is usually the nice, boring, peace maker of this group of whores. She probably threatened to come after Lisa and her family with her wig. Now, That would make me wanna fight a bitch.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:50pm.
What's all that stuff under Kim's neck?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Fat.
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Kim can't sing FOR SHIT!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2JNqkncv2Q
What's all that stuff under Kim's neck?
And Sassy, did you send out the Christmas cards? And don't forget to eat your rare meat!
I can't wait for next weeks episode... at the end when they show you a clip of next week Nene was telling Kim off... I hope she rips her & her polyester hair to shreads
@Jiggy "Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet"
===
Please tell me you are a wedding planner and not getting married. I'ma gonna slash my wrists otherwise.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:26pm.
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He jiggywiddit - Best wishes on your wedding!
God-damn Sam, I trust you learned something from the MK posting of that English gypsy wedding, the MOST ELEGANT wedding of the Year - you know the one, Missy Quinn's wedding extravaganza.
Shoot, I hope that you can surpass that, and post pidture to prove you did!
Again, best wishes from all D-listers!
Submitted by Zesty on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:27pm
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I noticed that she hid out behind the boat console b/c she was afraid her busted snatch-patch on her head would fly off. I was SOOO hoping it would. In fact, the whole show I was hoping it would do some sort of moving around. Do you ever notice HOW MUCH SHE ALWAYS MOVES HER POSSUM PATCH AROUND??
The stooooooooopid cunt who had to call for help to start the boat?? It needed to be in neutral? Kim's best friend, what a dumb whore.
I hope Nene rips Kim's snatch patch off of her head and soon. Im losing patience! Team Nene!!!
**She looks like a pure skankasswhoreslutskeezybitchhocumrag**
MK~ 07/01/08
i cannot be convinced kim is only 30...
and i just found out that lisa is the ex wife of the begging keith sweat...
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you can always tell someone's character by how they treat those they don't need to treat well...
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:21pm.
Kim's kinda tranny-like, hain't she?
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Objection!
That is an undeserved insult to trannies everywhere.
That hot bitch Lisa Wu is tranny-like. Kim is just...skanktagious. (Thank you Tiggs.)
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:07pm.
My skank ass sister's skank ass friend is also "acting" in this skank ass movie with all these skanks which tells me that the skandom of this flick is skanktagious and all you skanks need to stay away...for real...
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My apologies, big kitty, I see now that the word I was searching for is "skanktagious."
Luvs it!
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Did anyone see this episode on this week where Kim was on a boat and the wind was blowing through her weave.... I had my fingers crossed it would blow off..
Just watched the TMZ vid.
Bwahahaha!!! That "lawyer" is the lost bastid Baldwin brother who clearly busted out of his vocational workshop and stole a pimp's shades.
Dude is skeeeeevy!!
Where are you Sandbitch, angel_i, Tiggs, and Diego. ????
I long to share this sublime experience with you ho's.
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
how can you guys tell its a weave? in the picture or in the video clip? in the video clip the front part of her hair doesn't match the rest of her hair. is that what y'all are talking about?
Kims weave looks like it should be on a key chain from a 4x4 truck in Nebraska. Or on a Wet Seal manni....and that's a compliment.
**She looks like a pure skankasswhoreslutskeezybitchhocumrag**
MK~ 07/01/08
Kim's kinda tranny-like, hain't she?
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:17pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:07pm.
are you saying you think it's gonna be skanky?
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Huh? When did I use the word "skank"?...;-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Eirikur
Yes, I've been a victim of this "show". I had to see what my blee-ack homegurlz had to say. Pitty..I thought it would be pithy.. Alas, no. Kim can kiss someone else's ass; not mine. I wouldn't allow her to have the honor. And "big poppa" is an old East Indian..or so I'm told.. and she's as embarrasses about him as he SHOULD BE about her. Her poor, ugly children. Look for her at Circuit City's CD aisle..oh wait, they're going out of business..guess you're lucky, er out of luck?
And don't, no: DO NOT FUCK WITH Nene...She's my bitch..I don't care how many neck rolls and fingers-up she gives per episode..she rocks da house.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 10:07pm.
are you saying you think it's gonna be skanky?
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
when does this show come on t.v.? i never know when or what time anything comes on. most of the time i only see it cuz i'm channel surfing. anyone?
1. Lisa Wu is a smoking hot tranny mess.
Some respect is due.
2. Kim looks like Mrs. Potato Head.
I'm with MK. The only way this mess could possibly be interesting is if Lisa Wu hits Tater Head Senior in the tuber eye with her martial arts hoodoo voodoo.
IMHO.
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Nene seems like the only one on the show with real human emotions... I hope she does read this and see's how much we all love her.... its gotta be rough being around all those trainwrecks.
My skank ass sister's skank ass friend is also "acting" in this skank ass movie with all these skanks which tells me that the skandom of this flick is skanktagious and all you skanks need to stay away...for real...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
this is so rich!
lol i luv her lawyer's glasses & international male suit!
fake ass!
ha! this is priceless! i am guessing this has something to do with the kids lisa has from her past marriage to keith sweat. i don't think she has custody of them or something like.
anyway kim deserves a beat down, she is as fake as that busted ass racoon weave on her head!!
also her "big poppa" is a tiny indian man named lee najir, an atl real estate mogul who's married. THAT's why he's never seen, duh!!
viva NENE!! i love that bitch & want to hang out w her!! she is the only damn person on the show who is not a phony asshole!
i love her & her sidekick dwight! also seems like she has a nice husband and loving family!! best scene when they were making fun of He-man aka Sheree in the beauty salon @ her "viewing" with sketches that looked straight out of kindergarten!!!
Nene if you are reading this, let's have cocktails in brooklyn bitch !! you're the best & keep your head up!!
woah woah woah ... pump the breaks!!!!
lawyer????
UMMMM DID ANYONE NOTICE HIS AMAZING GRAMMAR?? Her "lawyer", who appeared to have an earring btw (very professional), could not put together a proper sentence. Learn where and when to use prepositions. wow!!!!
on that note, I LOVE RHWOA!!!!! best show on TV right now. And if you really want a good laugh, you should read Bethenny from RHWONYC's blog on BRAVO. she is hysterical.
oh yeah, what the hell is up with her lawyer?
he looks oh so weird....