Queen Aretha Is The Greatest Singer Of All-Time!
Rolling Stone has come out with their 100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time list and Celine Dion isn't even on it! She is the "greatest singa in da wooorld!!!" She's going to take a kayak over to Rolling Stone and beat them with her elbow bone. Celine didn't make the list, but Queen Aretha Franklin and her magnificent titty balls of destruction landed on #1!! Rolling Stone really had no choice. Queen Aretha threatened to eat their whole building if they didn't make her #1. They know she was serious. She had the Thousand Island dressing with her, ready to go.
I pity the 99 fools below Aretha on this list. They are fucking holding on for dear life with Aretha on top of them. They are trying to get strength from their fucking toenails. Aretha's just sitting up top like the queen she is, picking her teeth and flexing her chichis.
I'm sure you'll rip apart the rest of the list like I already have. I mean, no Chloe Lattanzi?! No Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? No The Hoff?! I just have 4 letters for this list: F-A-L-E! I'm joking! I know how to spell fale. Wait. How do you spell it? Stop! Let's get to business!
The full list after the jump. JUMP!!!
100 Mary J. Blige
99 Steven Tyler
98 Stevie Nicks
97 Joe Cocker
96 B.B. King
95 Patti LaBelle
94 Karen Carpenter
93 Annie Lennox
92 Morrissey
91 Levon Helm
90 The Everly Brothers
89 Solomon Burke
88 Willie Nelson
87 Don Henley
86 Art Garfunkel
85 Sam Moore
84 Darlene Love
83 Patti Smith
82 Tom Waits
81 John Lee Hooker
80 Frankie Valli
79 Mariah Carey
78 Sly Stone
77 Merle Haggard
76 Steve Perry
75 Iggy Pop
74 James Taylor
73 Dolly Parton
72 John Fogerty
71 Toots Hibbert
70 Gregg Allman
69 Ronnie Spector
68 Wilson Pickett
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
66 Thom Yorke
65 David Ruffin
64 Axl Rose
63 Dion (not Celine)
62 Lou Reed
61 Roger Daltrey
60 Björk
59 Rod Stewart
58 Christina Aguilera
57 Eric Bourdon
56 Mavis Staples
55 Paul Rodgers
54 Luther Vandross
53 Muddy Waters
52 Brian Wilson
51 Gladys Knight
50 Bonnie Raitt
49 Donny Hathaway
48 Buddy Holly
47 Jim Morrison
46 Patsy Cline
45 Kurt Cobain
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
43 George Jones
42 Joni Mitchell
41 Chuck Berry
40 Curtis Mayfield
39 Jeff Buckley
38 Elton John
37 Neil Young
36 Bruce Springsteen
35 Dusty Sprinfield
34 Whitney Houston
33 Steve Winwood
32 Bono
31 Howlin' Wolf
30 Prince
29 Nina Simone
28 Janis Joplin
27 Hank Williams
26 Jackie Wilson
25 Michael Jackson
24 Van Morrison
23 David Bowie
22 Etta James
21 Johnny Cash
20 Smokey Robinson
19 Bob Marley
18 Freddie Mercury
17 Tina Turner
16 Mick Jagger
15 Robert Plant
14 Al Green
13 Roy Orbison
12 Little Richard
11 Paul McCartney
10 James Brown
09 Stevie Wonder
08 Otis Redding
07 Bob Dylan
06 Marvin Gaye
05 John Lennon
04 Sam Cooke
03 Elvis Presley
02 Ray Charles
01 Aretha Franklin
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Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:56pm.
I sing pretty frickin' good in the shower. Does that count?
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YES! Aretha#2
IG #1
solved.
Everybody happy.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
And who the frickety frack are some of these people?
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
NP, I just noticed Robert Plant is on there too lol
'Retha looks like she's about to take a big ol' bite outta somethin' tasty!
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
I sing pretty frickin' good in the shower. Does that count?
And sheeps... blasphemy!!
I take that back, I have more to say. Actually everyone on the list should have been above Mick Jagger.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Some intern born in 1990 asked some old geezer on the staff for help.they both suck.
WILL DOWNING dammit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZlhFdCFbh4
Submitted by Rosemary on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:54pm.
oops. Good call. I mustve overlooked it.
How did Axl Rose make the list but not Frank Sinatra? Egregious!
________________________
Candlejack is back!
gucci- Shit! I didnt even think about Frank! That is a travesty.
Elton John should be above Mick Jagger.
And that's all I'm saying about that.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
John lennon is on the list , he' s number 5
@Rosemary,
Christina the only one out of the "blonde pop princesses" that actually has any respect in the industry. Mandy became an actress, Jessica keeps switiching genres, Unfitney's a mess. Christina won over tons of critics with B2B, even though the fans hated it.
Christina is the only one of that crowed that deserves to be on that list.
~♥~My Blog ~ Twisted Rainbow Dreams
http://twistedrainbowdreams.blogspot.com/ ~♥~
Twisted Rainbow Dreams - The Website
http://www.freewebs.com/twistedrainbowdreams/index.htm
where is barbra striesand, frank Sanatra, and judy garland? i mean, this is a great list but there is really some heavy duty talent missing. i'm happy however that BEYONCE IS NOT ON THE LIST! i hope to god she's at home right now tearing out her ugly lace front hair! ha ha hahah!
___________________
Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
I don't like this list because Karen Carpenter had a gorgeous, crystalline voice that was absolutely perfect so there is no way she should been 94 :( How did Joni Mitchell end up at 42? HUH??? Her voice is also very soothing. That list doesn't make any sense! Aguilera should be way down on that list. Her voice is powerful, but she tends to screech instead of showing off the true beauty of her voice. What about SARAH BRIGHTMAN???!?!?!?!
and just what bono needs- another reason to think he is god's gift to the world. I cant stand that self righteous pompous ass. I would like U2 if i could stand bono.
Um...TEENA MARIE anyone?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vilm780b8-8
~giggles~
You guys are hilarious. I'd recommend either referencing wikipedia, or taking a music history class on those names you don't recognize. Trust me [or not ... but trust Rolling Stone]. Those names are on that list for a reason.
actually, christina got big in 98 so......i mean 98 and on lol maybe it was 99, I dunno.
okay, what criteria does this list have? I love me some bob dylan but by no means whatsoever is he a great vocal singer. Its also fucked up that they passed over robert plant and john lennon.
Also Freddy Mercury should be in the TOP 10. no questions asked.
Rolling Stone's lists are always so bullshit.
RS just knew they would get a fight started.
No PHYLLIS HYMAN?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoOp0UjNXBI
Christina is the only singer though that I thought should even be on the list that got started in the 2000s
I love Sade, very soothing voice. I would also have put Brandy on this list too...I would definitely put Yolanda Adams, CeCe Winans, and a whole bunch of gospel people on here over...what? Kurt Cobain?!? I don't even know what he said!!
seriously, just about every opera singer shits on most people on this list anyway. This list hurts my fucking eyes with its complete wackness. Complete FALE and FUCKERY!!!
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Hey, does anyone know how to contact Gordon Ramsay?
I could care less for the woman, but what about Striesand?
Dreamy, that's true...you're definately right about that
No Brit Brit.. WTF?
Submitted by Rosemary on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 8:55pm.
Christina should be number one. Anyone that doesn't agree is insane, no offense!
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No. For the simple reason that the people above her have earned the right their spots, when Christina is celebrating 30 years in the biz, then us fans can she should be #1.
I'm sorry, she's done amazing for someone who only been in the biz for 10 years, but that aint enough to claim #1 for stuff like this yet.
~♥~My Blog ~ Twisted Rainbow Dreams
http://twistedrainbowdreams.blogspot.com/ ~♥~
Twisted Rainbow Dreams - The Website
http://www.freewebs.com/twistedrainbowdreams/index.htm
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:29pm.
My top 100 would be all blues singers.
Oh, you and your "John Mayer is god" obsession again....
Submitted by Morrissey on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:36pm.
Submitted by AMF on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:32pm
Well, yeah, true. damn. i guess it's because he was influential?
No one ever really copied "You Can Call Me Al", but lots of people styled themselves after Dylan... ;)
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
Hungry hungry hippo
What the hell does Rolling Stone know about music?
Gino Vanelli...HELLO?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_pGNpk6CxI
Submitted by AMF on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:32pm.
And I've never even heard of Sam Cooke!
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Wow. There are some circles I just wouldn't even begin to admit that in...
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by DR.FUNK on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:37pm.
What?!...No PHILIP BAILEY?!
Ouu, good one. Has anyone said Minnie Ripperton? OK, we're expanding the list to top 500--no, 10,000 singers of all time.
I think sade should be on there, she isn't my fav but she should be on there.
Submitted by Morrissey on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:36pm.
Submitted by AMF on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:32pm.
Yes, but this is a list of the greatest SINGERS, not songwriters.
Paul Simon was a great songwriter, but NOT a great singer. Art Garfunkel was definitely the better singer, hands down
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That's a good argument but, CERTAINLY, he is a better singer than Bob Dylan, no?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:36pm.
haha, I knew the Weird Al part was, luv.
I was talking about the other part. Even tho I didn't catch the "blues" part.
;)
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
Morrissey, it was a joke. Exhibit A:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkaa3I_tCZg
What?!...No PHILIP BAILEY?! :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NnXIxSAa1Q
Ok i might get killed for this, but one thing that gets me is paul mccartney being so high, i liked his music, well some of it , but his voice? it wasn't that great to me, i guess to some it was but i never thought it was awesome. I'm not saying that it was bad but, i didn't think it was as good as say luther vandross? I know he was a beatle and one of the most popular groups was the beatles but if this is a great singers list, i would expect them to go more on their voices but i guess it goes on how popular they were too.
Submitted by AMF on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:32pm.
Yes, but this is a list of the greatest SINGERS, not songwriters.
Paul Simon was a great songwriter, but NOT a great singer. Art Garfunkel was definitely the better singer, hands down. It's not about who was more 'popular' at the time. Art has an incredible tenor voice, the voice of an angel.
(See my other posts on this subject, hahaha...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jub6aEAYRLQ
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
what a bogus list! Bob Dylan a great singer? He could never carry a tune. His gift was weaving poetry into music but not singing. Luther Vandross only 54? HISSSSS. He s/b #4 or 5. PFFFT to Rolling Stoned and their phoney lists.
DeeDee on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:13pm.
ITA zomay. Where is Mahalia Jackson and Nat King Cole?
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Her voice can make me cry. What a voice.
Good night DeeDee and everyone!
I don't have Aretha's "magnificent titty balls of destruction" but I sure as hell have those sunglasses.
Oh yeah!
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I can't really condemn people for working within a set of rules that was imposed on them.
---Wyle E
Submitted by LA
"What I basically said was this list is completely fucked up."
Now that I comprehend. ;o)
Just Like A White Winged Dove
Ok, I dont usually comment, but this time I have to! What about Sade???? You can't get any better than her. I know Im not the only fan, so anybody out there that shares the same feelings?
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:29pm
True, but it looks like the list was a cross-section of many genres. It seems they were looking for people who were a) very influential and b)for the most part, technically sound.
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
Freddie Mercury should be number 1, or at least higher than that! And I've never even heard of Sam Cooke! Michael Jackson should be higher as well.
How can they have Art Garfunkel but no Paul Simon? Simon was the more popular one of the two, and had his own solo albums... "You can call me Al," anyone? And what about Meat Loaf? He's awesome, and deserves to be on that list over the huge amount of unknowns there.
How did they come up with this list? Pull it out of a hat?
yeah this list is all messed up, i could post 100 things about it....so i'll just say it's completely messed up.
Am I too late to nominate Weird Al? Seriously though, it's all subjective, isn't it? My top 100 would be all blues singers.