Queen Aretha Is The Greatest Singer Of All-Time!
Rolling Stone has come out with their 100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time list and Celine Dion isn't even on it! She is the "greatest singa in da wooorld!!!" She's going to take a kayak over to Rolling Stone and beat them with her elbow bone. Celine didn't make the list, but Queen Aretha Franklin and her magnificent titty balls of destruction landed on #1!! Rolling Stone really had no choice. Queen Aretha threatened to eat their whole building if they didn't make her #1. They know she was serious. She had the Thousand Island dressing with her, ready to go.
I pity the 99 fools below Aretha on this list. They are fucking holding on for dear life with Aretha on top of them. They are trying to get strength from their fucking toenails. Aretha's just sitting up top like the queen she is, picking her teeth and flexing her chichis.
I'm sure you'll rip apart the rest of the list like I already have. I mean, no Chloe Lattanzi?! No Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? No The Hoff?! I just have 4 letters for this list: F-A-L-E! I'm joking! I know how to spell fale. Wait. How do you spell it? Stop! Let's get to business!
The full list after the jump. JUMP!!!
100 Mary J. Blige
99 Steven Tyler
98 Stevie Nicks
97 Joe Cocker
96 B.B. King
95 Patti LaBelle
94 Karen Carpenter
93 Annie Lennox
92 Morrissey
91 Levon Helm
90 The Everly Brothers
89 Solomon Burke
88 Willie Nelson
87 Don Henley
86 Art Garfunkel
85 Sam Moore
84 Darlene Love
83 Patti Smith
82 Tom Waits
81 John Lee Hooker
80 Frankie Valli
79 Mariah Carey
78 Sly Stone
77 Merle Haggard
76 Steve Perry
75 Iggy Pop
74 James Taylor
73 Dolly Parton
72 John Fogerty
71 Toots Hibbert
70 Gregg Allman
69 Ronnie Spector
68 Wilson Pickett
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
66 Thom Yorke
65 David Ruffin
64 Axl Rose
63 Dion (not Celine)
62 Lou Reed
61 Roger Daltrey
60 Björk
59 Rod Stewart
58 Christina Aguilera
57 Eric Bourdon
56 Mavis Staples
55 Paul Rodgers
54 Luther Vandross
53 Muddy Waters
52 Brian Wilson
51 Gladys Knight
50 Bonnie Raitt
49 Donny Hathaway
48 Buddy Holly
47 Jim Morrison
46 Patsy Cline
45 Kurt Cobain
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
43 George Jones
42 Joni Mitchell
41 Chuck Berry
40 Curtis Mayfield
39 Jeff Buckley
38 Elton John
37 Neil Young
36 Bruce Springsteen
35 Dusty Sprinfield
34 Whitney Houston
33 Steve Winwood
32 Bono
31 Howlin' Wolf
30 Prince
29 Nina Simone
28 Janis Joplin
27 Hank Williams
26 Jackie Wilson
25 Michael Jackson
24 Van Morrison
23 David Bowie
22 Etta James
21 Johnny Cash
20 Smokey Robinson
19 Bob Marley
18 Freddie Mercury
17 Tina Turner
16 Mick Jagger
15 Robert Plant
14 Al Green
13 Roy Orbison
12 Little Richard
11 Paul McCartney
10 James Brown
09 Stevie Wonder
08 Otis Redding
07 Bob Dylan
06 Marvin Gaye
05 John Lennon
04 Sam Cooke
03 Elvis Presley
02 Ray Charles
01 Aretha Franklin
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♥much love♥
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♥"Late night sex so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
@ JUST WONDERING:
Spelman...Emory...& UGA were marked territory.
What?!. Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and Bjork amongst the 100 best singers?. Damn! Iggy Pop???!!. They have to be kidding me. I know this is based on appreciation and appreciation is relative, but come on!. I thought it was based on talent, my bad. Aretha hardly is the best of them all.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
paulapoo:
i cant STAYUND frankie valley uh god spare me his whining!
___________________
Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:28pm.
Where the hell is Billie Holiday?
Where's Ella Fitzgerald?
I so agree. They included Howlin' Wolf and Robert Johnson, who were pioneers of blues, but hardly singers. Yet they leave out Lady Day and Ella?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
@ ANGEL-I:
Thanx luv.XOX
After I buy ROLLING STONE...my one story before disappearing into the boardroom will be a DO-OVER of this foul list.
Submitted by DR.FUNK
Ever live in MIAMI...ATL...MONTREAL...LA?
*** Atlanta. Now I'm starting to really wonder ! ;o)
Just Like A White Winged Dove
Submitted by gucci on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:27pm.
Willie's there at #88. I agree about Paul Simon.
Maybe they should have done the top 200! We'd still be arguing though.;)~
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Mustang Sally:
oh man i thought they where on the list? geez. this list all around sucks. what about eartha kitt?
___________________
Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
@ ISLAND GIRL:
You're hittin' all the clunkers.;->
iggywiddit:
I fuckin love the wedding singer!
___________________
Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
7 pages - too much to read so if someone has already said this, sorry.
Where the hell is Billie Holiday?
Where's Ella Fitzgerald?
In their graves - oh, I get the idea. Not really "All Time".
Where's Raffi? :) That's for Sheeps.
At least Wilson Pickett made it. Yea!!
Mustang Sally
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
Arlo, Woody Guthrie?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
No Chris Christopherson? no willy nelson? and paul simon? what kind of list is this? no neal dimond and carlie simon? carol king james taylor kim carnes? i mean? what the hell is going on? no joe crocker?
___________________
Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
@JUST WONDERING:
LOL.;->
Ever live in MIAMI...ATL...MONTREAL...LA?
DR. FUNK
You are too cool for school, hunny!
*smooch*
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Yeah - like, did Aretha call up Rolling Stone after all this Tina stuff and say: FIX THIS SHIT! ...?cuz that's totally what this seems like.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Frankie Valli? Falsetto whiny bullshit? "Walk like a maaaan, talk like a maaaan"... uhhh maybe you should listen to your own advice Frankie, you sound like someone is yanking off your balls.
I'm glad John Fogerty is on there, great voice. Robert Plant too.
C'mon Rolling Stone!:
No HOWARD HEWETT?!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQUkwVMS7yM
No Sinatra, Ella, or Billie. But we found room for Gregg Allman and Levon Helm. Check.
Another winner from the geniuses at Rolling Stone. Maybe they should do it by genre next time to exhibit some common sense?
DR. FUNK...
How about this??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okEm7AF77ew
Submitted by DR.FUNK
@JUST WONDERING:
When I was a teenager...and I was trying to make the play on 20-something babes...Gino usually closed the deal.It sure was'nt my smooth talk.;->
*** Have we met ?! ;o))
Just Like A White Winged Dove
who made this list up??
Freddie Mercury at number 18...blasphemy
@ISLAND GIRL:
That may be the only song of his I DID'NT like.
Rolling Stone is dead to me.
Joe Cocker? Joe Cocker on the list at ALL is a travesty. He screasms like a f#cking chicken. But to be on the list and ahead of Stevie Nicks?
And where the hell are the Blues Brothers and Adam Sandler?? Does no one remember "The Wedding Singer"?
No justice.
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I can't really condemn people for working within a set of rules that was imposed on them.
---Wyle E
DR. FUNK....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m39piBT2vE
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:56pm.
I take that back, I have more to say. Actually everyone on the list should have been above Mick Jagger.
I agree that Mick is more of a stylist than a singer, but he did turn in some great performances. Check out "Out of Our Heads", "Goat's Head Soup", and "Exile on Main Street" for some choice ones.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
@JUST WONDERING:
When I was a teenager...and I was trying to make the play on 20-something babes...Gino usually closed the deal.It sure was'nt my smooth talk.;->
and where is Blaaaaaakeeee!!!?? and Dreamboat? and Hanna Montana and the Cheetah Girls?
i'm pissed!
i don't see Tiffany nor Debbie Gibson on that list either..
ok, now my meds are kicking in....
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by Farrah on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:11pm.
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Then we have to put Amy on that list too, right? :)
Submitted by Just Wondering on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:08pm.
Submitted by DR.Funk
What the hell does Rolling Stone know about music?
Gino Vanelli...HELLO?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gino Vanelli...oh hell, yes!
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I can't really condemn people for working within a set of rules that was imposed on them.
---Wyle E
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:00pm.
See? Problem solved
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you know i'm gonna have to kill you á la Psycho just to put BARBRA on #1, right?
BARBRA! i demand Miss Streisand! and Bette Midler!
man, i'm making the "Rolling Stone Best Jewish List" and i'm a luvin' it!
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Aretha has great pipes I'll give her that but she is one huge Dough Boy
It's spelled FAIL, as in this shitteous list. Fat Urethra #1, who'd she sit on to type that crap. It's an insult that Elvis Presley came in at #3, he blows everyone on that list away, but the biggest crime is the Neil Diamond didn't even make the list. Rolling Stone should take their head out of the cashbox and stop talkin crack.
OK, I'll start by saying I cancelled my RS subscription when they put Britney in a bra on the cover.
That being said, this list is all kinds of fucked up. I am looking at this from a rock and it's roots and offshoots reference point.
Many of those on the list were more song stylists than singers. Are we talking pure singing or the singer's influence? They seem to be all over the place here. Many on this list have made music that I love, but I don't consider them "singers" in the purer sense.
And what the hell is Paul Rogers doing ahead of Robert Plant and Roger Daltry?
Where's Jon Anderson of Yes and Geddy Lee of Rush?
Lots of other missing ones have rightly been mentioned.
Where's Chrissy Hynde?
I love John Lennon and Kurt Cobain to death, but they weren't singers in the pure sense, nor were Howlin' Wolf or Levon Helm.
And Chuck Berry, a great singer? He was an architect of rock n roll, and a guitarist ahead of his time. But a singer?
God I could go on and on.
Great subject, though!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by DR.Funk
What the hell does Rolling Stone know about music?
Gino Vanelli...HELLO?
*** Hello to you too for mentioning my first major crush. Flashback to my dorm room 1979...Gino Vannelli posters on the walls,The Gist of the Gemini spinning on my stereo, Fly into this Night blaring while I do my nursing care plans for the next day...awww the memories.
Just Like A White Winged Dove
oh i love chaka khan
where the hell is streisand, celine? i hate these lists, they always make me crazy. steven tyler and stevie nicks? wth? i realize they are part of great groups, but they sure ain't great singers....bjork? why not add sanjaya, then, lol.
Oh, and Mrs. K...Where the fuck is Elvis Costello and Joe Jackson on the hot mess of a list?... ;-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:02pm.
Where's Levi Stubbs, the lead singer of the Four Tops who recently passed on?
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Preach it!
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
No Jay Black, Frank, Linda Ronstandt, Andrea Bocelli, Aaron Neville, You suck big time Rolling Stone!
You'll Be Popular When You are Dead!
When you think about it there should never be a top 100 list for singers with so many singers having been around. You just can't name just 100. It's really silly but it always makes me sit and try to think who are the best singers that would just fit into that 100.
I'm going to the RS offices to bitch-slap the writer.
Can CHAKA KHAN get some love?!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLPBTMWzepo
OMG! This list sucks. Look where they placed Patti Labelle. Bette Midler is missing altogether. No Cher. And I can't believe Jackie Washington didn't make it on the list! Clearly this list was created by straight men. HMPH!
Well now. Lemme add my two cents to this. If this don't show how music is a subjective thing I don't know what will. You've got crooners, belters, shouters, one of a kind voices and it all depends on how their sound moves you, makes you connect to what they're saying. That's why you have such "strange" choices on the list. This ain't really a rock list, it's a pop list and it only spans a specific, and short, era.
For example, I don't see any doo-wop singers here. There's some who started in that era but they seem to be included because of their solo careers. They missed some great singers but this depends on their ear and their knowledge of musical history. Where's Levi Stubbs, the lead singer of the Four Tops who recently passed on?
This list is bound to start arguments everywhere but I don't disagree with the top choice. In this time where every pore of a celebrity's body is scrutinized for imperfections you have to be a serious fan of music to appreciate Aretha Franklin. The woman in her prime could sing anything, she could take your song and make people forget you ever sang it first. "Respect" was originally done by Otis Redding and he did a damn good job on it. The fact that she still has most of her pipes is a testament to her greatness.
Anyway, how can you take a list seriously that has Annie Lennox at 93? Like I said, she has a great instrument, great song choices and she touches you. And only Dolly Parton and Patsy Cline for country music? C'mon.
Edited to correct myself. There are more country singers there than I thought but still some glaring omissions.
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When you see me again I hope you have been the kind of person you really are now.
Submitted by Rosemary on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:56pm.
Damn! I shouldve looked more closely. I still stick by my initial statement that this is a pretty poorly placed list. Perhaps they explain why they put certain people ranked differently, but just from first glance this list is fucked up.
Where's Barry White? Hmmmm???
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
Elvis wuz robbed! But I think what really hurts him is the music he chose to record. He recorded a shitload of ridiculous songs(although it's mostly a result of the time period he was recording in)
Submitted by eleco on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:54pm.
OMG! This list sucks.No Cher, Michael Jackson or Prince. And I can't believe Jackie Washington didn't make it on the list! Clearly this list was created by straight men. HMPH!
....Jacko is 25 and Prince is 30 and it is absolute fuckery to have either one of them above Luther!!! or Gladys, or Whitney even. Someone was smoking Amy Winehouse crack when they made this list.
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Submitted by Farrah on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 9:58pm.
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See? Problem solved!