Queen Aretha Is The Greatest Singer Of All-Time!
Rolling Stone has come out with their 100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time list and Celine Dion isn't even on it! She is the "greatest singa in da wooorld!!!" She's going to take a kayak over to Rolling Stone and beat them with her elbow bone. Celine didn't make the list, but Queen Aretha Franklin and her magnificent titty balls of destruction landed on #1!! Rolling Stone really had no choice. Queen Aretha threatened to eat their whole building if they didn't make her #1. They know she was serious. She had the Thousand Island dressing with her, ready to go.
I pity the 99 fools below Aretha on this list. They are fucking holding on for dear life with Aretha on top of them. They are trying to get strength from their fucking toenails. Aretha's just sitting up top like the queen she is, picking her teeth and flexing her chichis.
I'm sure you'll rip apart the rest of the list like I already have. I mean, no Chloe Lattanzi?! No Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? No The Hoff?! I just have 4 letters for this list: F-A-L-E! I'm joking! I know how to spell fale. Wait. How do you spell it? Stop! Let's get to business!
The full list after the jump. JUMP!!!
100 Mary J. Blige
99 Steven Tyler
98 Stevie Nicks
97 Joe Cocker
96 B.B. King
95 Patti LaBelle
94 Karen Carpenter
93 Annie Lennox
92 Morrissey
91 Levon Helm
90 The Everly Brothers
89 Solomon Burke
88 Willie Nelson
87 Don Henley
86 Art Garfunkel
85 Sam Moore
84 Darlene Love
83 Patti Smith
82 Tom Waits
81 John Lee Hooker
80 Frankie Valli
79 Mariah Carey
78 Sly Stone
77 Merle Haggard
76 Steve Perry
75 Iggy Pop
74 James Taylor
73 Dolly Parton
72 John Fogerty
71 Toots Hibbert
70 Gregg Allman
69 Ronnie Spector
68 Wilson Pickett
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
66 Thom Yorke
65 David Ruffin
64 Axl Rose
63 Dion (not Celine)
62 Lou Reed
61 Roger Daltrey
60 Björk
59 Rod Stewart
58 Christina Aguilera
57 Eric Bourdon
56 Mavis Staples
55 Paul Rodgers
54 Luther Vandross
53 Muddy Waters
52 Brian Wilson
51 Gladys Knight
50 Bonnie Raitt
49 Donny Hathaway
48 Buddy Holly
47 Jim Morrison
46 Patsy Cline
45 Kurt Cobain
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
43 George Jones
42 Joni Mitchell
41 Chuck Berry
40 Curtis Mayfield
39 Jeff Buckley
38 Elton John
37 Neil Young
36 Bruce Springsteen
35 Dusty Sprinfield
34 Whitney Houston
33 Steve Winwood
32 Bono
31 Howlin' Wolf
30 Prince
29 Nina Simone
28 Janis Joplin
27 Hank Williams
26 Jackie Wilson
25 Michael Jackson
24 Van Morrison
23 David Bowie
22 Etta James
21 Johnny Cash
20 Smokey Robinson
19 Bob Marley
18 Freddie Mercury
17 Tina Turner
16 Mick Jagger
15 Robert Plant
14 Al Green
13 Roy Orbison
12 Little Richard
11 Paul McCartney
10 James Brown
09 Stevie Wonder
08 Otis Redding
07 Bob Dylan
06 Marvin Gaye
05 John Lennon
04 Sam Cooke
03 Elvis Presley
02 Ray Charles
01 Aretha Franklin
VIA Stereogum
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Left off the list:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5Wp-BNNCxY
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
DR FUNK, you rock! Here's my personal Pat benatar fave, "Love is a Battlefield". The classic boob shimmy, ass-kickin' dance starts at 3:19.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J9rTZJBmw
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Man, there are some reallllly questionable folks on this list. But I dunno what's more stunning...that Bob Dylan made the list or that he's as near the top as he is. Perhaps "indecipherable" is the new "greatest"...in which case, yes, he's awesome!
Nits, see above. Or below, whatever the case may be. That shit took me ages!
Submitted by DUDE on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:19pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:14pm.
A+ for your research
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Thanks, DUDE... I'm nearly cross-eyed at this point.
@ DeeDee. I just pee'd tears of joy. Unbelievable how music just takes you back to certain moments in your life. I want to be a judge on the 100 list! All of those songs are on my ipod!
@IG..Holy Keerap! You haven't had nearly enough to drink tonight, Mrs. Google Fingers.
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Okay...ABSOLUTE LAST ONE:
INDIA has always had a great set of pipes & covers salsa & house like nobody else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL3_ZvGHEYI
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:13pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:09pm.
I'm still digesting the image of you driving over the hill, listening to "Free Fallin'."
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Well, just imagine it in a '63 V-Dub that was dark green and in certain spots rubbed down to the metal, with a horrible cassette player that went out everytime you hit a bump! Cuz those were the days...I do miss them, though. *dreamy sigh*
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:14pm.
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A+ for your research
@bambam-I'll refer you sir to my post at 7:55
"This list needs more yodelers"
the DUDE! abides...
Last one before going to bed...sigh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ&feature=related
Just Like A White Winged Dove
Submitted by DUDE on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:08pm.
Unbelievable that they are unable to recognize the greatness of the celebrity set: Don Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Patrick Swayze, Bruce Willis
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Hahahaha!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULI5kolBpAk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDbpzjbXUZI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfg97-5uhFQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKtt5oeKa8w
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:09pm.
You hoes don't know singing.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a28EBGEkCs
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OMG! I just had a siezure. My mother would wake me up in the mornings with that song!!!! hahahahhaha
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
I love me some Doobies.....uh Brothers.
What about Bill Withers?
Ain't No Sunshine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo
Use Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3hBYTkI-sE
Lean on Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wpof8s5ZTg
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:09pm.
I'm still digesting the image of you driving over the hill, listening to "Free Fallin'."
@ Dr. Funk. I concede. You haz won. Most Excellent.
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Last one before going to the gym:
TEDDY PENDERGRASS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX93gBhTAnM
You hoes don't know singing.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a28EBGEkCs
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When you see me again I hope you have been the kind of person you really are now.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:07pm.
Submitted by bsquared on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:49pm.
Aretha was travelling through and stayed at the hotel I work at. She is afraid of heights.
That's just the excuse she uses because hotel management is afraid to put her on any of the upper floors.
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Doesn't this belong in the Jesse Metcalf thread? ;p''''
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Unbelievable that they are unable to recognize the greatness of the celebrity set: Don Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Patrick Swayze, Bruce Willis
the DUDE! abides...
Yay!! Doobies in da house!
And, while I'm thinking about it...Ahem..The Commedores!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrBx6mAWYPU
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Submitted by bsquared on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:49pm.
Aretha was travelling through and stayed at the hotel I work at. She is afraid of heights.
That's just the excuse she uses because hotel management is afraid to put her on any of the upper floors.
Now, this is MUZAK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8sn5MnBH-Y
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Bwahahaha IG! Your hooooooney is so funny. :)
If I remember correctly Nits, you sent me Marty's version of Blue Spanish Eyes. ♥
Nits, that is golden. ♥♥♥
*flashes back to the back seat of some inappropriate boy's car*
PAT BENATAR could just belt it out!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo2NJOB3xGk
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:55pm.
Ok edit again.....what about Marty Robbins? I love him!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PNojx-OCto
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Aww, Dee! You're breakin' my heart! You need his version of Spanish Eyes. *sniffs*
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
This list is full of bullshit! Little Richard? Mary J Blige? Bjork? You gotta be fucking kidding me! Where's William Hung? Britney Spears? Ashlee Simpson? FUCK!!! Excuse me while I eat some babies.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:55pm.
Ok edit again.....what about Marty Robbins? I love him!
00000000000000000000000000000000000000
DeeDee, the hub still thinks that if we go to El Paso, he's going to run into Marty Robbins. Silly Europeans!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:48pm.
Nits, he started it! Now excuse me while I dance to this...
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I'll forgive you the world...just don't ask me to dance while it's burnin.
Now, here's the schniz that rocked a 16 year old girls world growing up in So Cal and blaring it as loud as the speakers would allow while she drove thru Mulholland to get to the beach.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7_z2X-HwVs
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Ok edit again.....what about Marty Robbins? I love him!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PNojx-OCto
I think Bjork should've been waaaaaaaaay higher up on dat list, son.
OK, Lou fucking Reed? A singer?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
i really don't get what crack rolling stone is smokin, but christina is NOT a better singer than mariah! i get why, but nu uh...mariah should have been in the top 20
http://r-e-ana.livejournal.com/
Submitted by DR.FUNK
Spelman...Emory...& UGA were marked territory.
***More Emory/Buckhead area. Truth be told, I was too busy studying for much else at the time. ;o)
Just Like A White Winged Dove
Submitted by roxie on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:44pm.
considering who is on that list, jimi hendrix should be on it too
Yep. Might as well put Jerry on their too. Anyone who has heard him sing, "Morning Dew" or "Candyman" would agree.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by gucci on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:29pm.
iggywiddit:
I fuckin love the wedding singer!
+++++++++++++++++
Do you think Sandler is the answer to the bartender blind item?
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Later whores, I have a wedding to plan... a PURPLE DRANK fountain, warm Funyuns with Velveeta Melt, Potted meat, Slim Jims, and that Wilson whore fileted...MK will give me away and you will all throw Cheet
Just Wondering.... THANK YOU! :)
Aretha was travelling through and stayed at the hotel I work at. She is afraid of heights.
Nits, he started it! Now excuse me while I dance to this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQXECBdPgEA
Islandgirl, try this one :O))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FtC7xRcxL0&feature=related
Just Like A White Winged Dove
@NIT WITTY:
Pretty good.
considering who is on that list, jimi hendrix should be on it too
Whitney is better then ReeRee IMHO
And I agree with whoever said Ann Wilson and KD Lang.
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Bye! Good
His life is tragic...but the man had a wildly under-rated gift:
ELDRA DEBARGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1X3k1YtFcE
The list should say, as Casey Kasum does, "of the rock era."
But some of these people can't even sing. They may be great presenters, writers, performers,whatever but singers? no. Patti Smith?? Tom Waits? Bob Dylan?? BJORK???
And what about kd lang? She has a voice like velvet can can sing anything from country to blues to pop to rock.
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Gucci...it's brought.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:38pm.
DR. FUNK, I am nothing if not persistent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVtbsfmpdZ0
OR....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LJWe09aNU
Hahahaha!! I give up!!
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Aww, thanks IG! I just barfed up the rubberbands from my 8th grade head gear.
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Triscuit! Your comments on the list please?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
DR. FUNK, I am nothing if not persistent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVtbsfmpdZ0
OR....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LJWe09aNU
Hahahaha!! I give up!!
How about Ann Wilson from Heart? kd lang, anyone? I can't stop...
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"