Queen Aretha Is The Greatest Singer Of All-Time!
Rolling Stone has come out with their 100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time list and Celine Dion isn't even on it! She is the "greatest singa in da wooorld!!!" She's going to take a kayak over to Rolling Stone and beat them with her elbow bone. Celine didn't make the list, but Queen Aretha Franklin and her magnificent titty balls of destruction landed on #1!! Rolling Stone really had no choice. Queen Aretha threatened to eat their whole building if they didn't make her #1. They know she was serious. She had the Thousand Island dressing with her, ready to go.
I pity the 99 fools below Aretha on this list. They are fucking holding on for dear life with Aretha on top of them. They are trying to get strength from their fucking toenails. Aretha's just sitting up top like the queen she is, picking her teeth and flexing her chichis.
I'm sure you'll rip apart the rest of the list like I already have. I mean, no Chloe Lattanzi?! No Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? No The Hoff?! I just have 4 letters for this list: F-A-L-E! I'm joking! I know how to spell fale. Wait. How do you spell it? Stop! Let's get to business!
The full list after the jump. JUMP!!!
100 Mary J. Blige
99 Steven Tyler
98 Stevie Nicks
97 Joe Cocker
96 B.B. King
95 Patti LaBelle
94 Karen Carpenter
93 Annie Lennox
92 Morrissey
91 Levon Helm
90 The Everly Brothers
89 Solomon Burke
88 Willie Nelson
87 Don Henley
86 Art Garfunkel
85 Sam Moore
84 Darlene Love
83 Patti Smith
82 Tom Waits
81 John Lee Hooker
80 Frankie Valli
79 Mariah Carey
78 Sly Stone
77 Merle Haggard
76 Steve Perry
75 Iggy Pop
74 James Taylor
73 Dolly Parton
72 John Fogerty
71 Toots Hibbert
70 Gregg Allman
69 Ronnie Spector
68 Wilson Pickett
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
66 Thom Yorke
65 David Ruffin
64 Axl Rose
63 Dion (not Celine)
62 Lou Reed
61 Roger Daltrey
60 Björk
59 Rod Stewart
58 Christina Aguilera
57 Eric Bourdon
56 Mavis Staples
55 Paul Rodgers
54 Luther Vandross
53 Muddy Waters
52 Brian Wilson
51 Gladys Knight
50 Bonnie Raitt
49 Donny Hathaway
48 Buddy Holly
47 Jim Morrison
46 Patsy Cline
45 Kurt Cobain
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
43 George Jones
42 Joni Mitchell
41 Chuck Berry
40 Curtis Mayfield
39 Jeff Buckley
38 Elton John
37 Neil Young
36 Bruce Springsteen
35 Dusty Sprinfield
34 Whitney Houston
33 Steve Winwood
32 Bono
31 Howlin' Wolf
30 Prince
29 Nina Simone
28 Janis Joplin
27 Hank Williams
26 Jackie Wilson
25 Michael Jackson
24 Van Morrison
23 David Bowie
22 Etta James
21 Johnny Cash
20 Smokey Robinson
19 Bob Marley
18 Freddie Mercury
17 Tina Turner
16 Mick Jagger
15 Robert Plant
14 Al Green
13 Roy Orbison
12 Little Richard
11 Paul McCartney
10 James Brown
09 Stevie Wonder
08 Otis Redding
07 Bob Dylan
06 Marvin Gaye
05 John Lennon
04 Sam Cooke
03 Elvis Presley
02 Ray Charles
01 Aretha Franklin
VIA Stereogum
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Whazza bintbutt....?
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
That is all.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 12:02am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:55pm.
I have one - I was pulling into Buttsville, NJ, and let out a fart that almost broke the car windows. Spooooky.
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Okay, Susan's over. Sorry for the delay...
I'm surprised you didn't hear "I like bit butts" on the radio. Very wierd.
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
I agree TV, Kurt Cobain on the list but not Chris Cornell? Escalando!
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:55pm.
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Cool stuff!
I'm glad I never had to visit Mussel Shoals, AL because if Sweet Home Alabama would have come on I guess I would've had to start looking for the swampers (whatever the F they are?).
the DUDE! abides...
HAHAHAHAHA! What the hell were you selling to them poor cow ranchers....Either that or....never mind. There is just cows there....
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:58pm.
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Always had to stay at the Best Western in Floresville because Stockdale didn't have any hotels.
the DUDE! abides...
Sorry this cannot be overlooked IMHO...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x34wa2jehek&feature=related
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Scratchies for mah bitches!!
"I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I scratch myself!" xoxoxoxxxxxxxx
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:55pm.
I have one - I was pulling into Buttsville, NJ, and let out a fart that almost broke the car windows. Spooooky.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
My ex is from Floresville....
**takes gun and points to head...poof...hahaha. A flag jumped out and it read BANG!**
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Susan's singing. IG...Next rounds on me.
*world melts away*
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
*gives IG smoochies and lifts my shirt for sex hooker back scratches*
Angel, I've seen IG's nails. They're au naturale too. None of that acrylic shit.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:53pm.
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Well I was going to tell you to look for Floresville since Stockdale doesn't show up on many maps, but obviously you're familiar. ;)
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by DUDE on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:42pm.
I've has a few synchronicities happen to me while traveling around the US and the Doobs coming on the radio.
#1 strangest-China Grove comes on the radio while passing through...China Grove, TX just east of San Antonio on my way to a shithole known as Stockdale.
#2 strangest-Black Water coming on the radio while driving over the Mississippi river just west of Baton Rogue on my way to Lafayette.
the DUDE! abides...
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Isn't it great when that happens? It's even wierder that I've been in both those spots in my life and I clearly remember driving there as I was reading your post. For China Grove, TX I remember shutting off Alan Jackson (my daughter's fave at the time). For Baton Rouge I remember distinctly looking through my CD's for one that had Lady Marmalade (old version) on it. Wierd, but cool!!
The Dude still abides :)
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Angel!! I do! Why do you think it takes me so frickin' long to type? Plus, I can only use two fingers at a time. I am of the 'hunt and peck' variety.
Dude,
I grew up out in Schertz... Stockdale was HUGE metropolitan area comparitively...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Kurt Cobain is on the list, but no Chris Cornell?
Kurt Cobain wasn't even the best singer in Nirvana.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
L~A
There is no explanation for excluding Linda R. Her voice is the singing of crystal angels. Perhaps based more on influences. I think Sam Cooke is ahead of Queen Aretha...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
@IG! You have sex hooker nails?
Now I KNOW I love you!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:49pm.
IG!!!!! I love Susan Tedeschi!
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ME TOO!! But not as much as I ♥ kolaches. ;-0)
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:47pm.
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Hahahahha. China Grove was a-ok, but I'm pretty sure you'd share my opinion if you'd ever been to Stockdale.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:45pm-----------------------------------------
I have! Dolly and I have something in common. Sex hooker nails of mass destruction!
IG!!!!! I love Susan Tedeschi!
DUDE!
Nevah bad mouth any place in Texas...even little China Grove...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Nitty, this one's for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvvlLs8ScIQ
And sheeps, is too much of a good thing ever enough?
*chugs unidentifiable boxed red wine*
@ Nitty
Betty Wright is on iTunes.
I'm surprised Thom Yorke made the list. I love me some Radiohead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nTFjVm9sTQ
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:39pm.
OK, I know Dolly Parton is kind of a parody of herself (did that make sense?), but the bitch can sing. Plus she has big knockers.
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I'm impressed with anyone who can use their fingernails as an instrument!
Have you seen any of her interviews where she sings while she swipes her fingernails back and forth?
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
DebFrmHell on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:40pm
LENNY!
I know about The Stooges and Iggy, I am just curious to the criteria that landed him on this list and not a Linda Ronstadt for instance.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
No Ashley Simpson? WTF, Rolling Stone.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:39pm.
OK, I know Dolly Parton is kind of a parody of herself (did that make sense?), but the bitch can sing. Plus she has big knockers.
As a sports writer just said, she's like a 62 oz. soda: too much of a good thing.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:06pm.
Now, this is MUZAK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8sn5MnBH-Y
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I've has a few synchronicities happen to me while traveling around the US and the Doobs coming on the radio.
#1 strangest-China Grove comes on the radio while passing through...China Grove, TX just east of San Antonio on my way to a shithole known as Stockdale.
#2 strangest-Black Water coming on the radio while driving over the Mississippi river just west of Baton Rogue on my way to Lafayette.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:37pm.
ITA Deb. I don't know if Betty Wright is considered a great singer, but this is a kick ass song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S34K4e4FZI
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OMG! Lurves it. I'm hooked, Dee. Hope she's on Itunes!
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
Iggy Pop kicked the shtzzers out of the 70s and no one has mention the Ramones... **sigh**
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
OK, I know Dolly Parton is kind of a parody of herself (did that make sense?), but the bitch can sing. Plus she has big knockers.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:27pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:19pm.
1963 VW? You're lucky you made it home. I think the vid for that song was largely shot in the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square, no?
I'm feeling kind of creaky after this old tunes thread.
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I'm embarrassed to say that I don't even remember the video....eeeps.
Now, you got me feeling old and creeky too!!!
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
For Deb from DebFrmHell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f78bKXzALXo&feature=related
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Iggy Pop?
Vocal skills are not the attribute I associate him with.
All of my favorites are on there.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
ITA Deb. I don't know if Betty Wright is considered a great singer, but this is a kick ass song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S34K4e4FZI
Actually, I take that back - you more recent hos are diggin' deep. Nice work:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Awww Nitty! That's a huge compliment coming from you. ♥
I loved grace slick too...nada.
Women are under-represented on this list!!!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
This thread is pretty funny too...if you read the nine pages you'll see it's like marching around in a big huge circle;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
@IG, I know..I saw..ROFLMAO..that's why I called ya, Mrs. Google Fingers...seriously, talk about click and laugh?!
@DeeDee, I think you know more about music than anyone I know. Your Muzak skills and knowledge amaze me...Yes, read that as Skeerz me...lolol.
@Dr. Funk..is that India Arie that's singing on your last link?
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I was just sitting here minding my own business...
At least beyonce didn't make the list she is none for her fat ass along with k.k and j.lo
DebFrmHell
There is NO excuse for leaving Linda Ronstadt off the list. Great song. I think my fave by her is "Blue Bayou".
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 11:19pm.
1963 VW? You're lucky you made it home. I think the vid for that song was largely shot in the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square, no?
I'm feeling kind of creaky after this old tunes thread.
She can sang but she ain't da Greatest! She should be number one for Biggest Bra of All Time.
#54 Luther Vandeross? WTF! He's definitely in my top 10. I hate Celine Dion and her sappy music. Her voice lacks soul.
This one does it for me...more ways than one. Night all...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxlSbmBlsr8
Just Like A White Winged Dove