Guy Ritchie Doesn't Give A Shit
Guy Ritchie was reunited with Rocco and David in London yesterday after not seeing them for a few weeks. They've been prisoners of the gristle monster. Vadge wasn't going to let control go that easily. The Daily Mail claims that she sent a list of rules with her boys that Guy must follow. If he doesn't, she will never eject his shriveled nuts from her roided-up vagina prison.
Here's THE LIST:
Under no circumstances should they be allowed to read newspapers, magazines, or watch TV or DVDs.
They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food.
All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water.
They should wear the clothes Madonna has sent with them on the flight. If they need to be bought anything, they should not contain any man-made fibers.
Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.
They should not be bought toys that are spiritually or ethically unsound.
Guy should not discuss the separation with them.
Madonna should have phone contact with the boys as much as three or four times a day at times set by her.
The boys should not be introduced to Guy's new friends, especially any new female friends.
Madonna has encouraged the access to give time with the boys, rather than his parents spending large amounts of time with them.
The boys should not be photographed while with Guy. It is his responsibility to organize security so that does not happen.
At bedtime, Guy should read David the English Rose books Madonna wrote.
Oops. Guess who was photographed with David and Rocco yesterday at the airport? Guy broke a rule! No gold star for him!
Hopefully, he'll continue to break rule after rule. He should make sure he's papped going into a porn theater, with the boys wearing polyester, eating cookies and candy, with a G.I. Joe toy in one hand and in the other hand a copy of OK! magazine with the tagline "Madge & Guy: It's Over!"
INFDaily.com
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Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:24pm.
At bedtime, Guy should read David the comments about his mother on dlisted
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BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!
*dies*
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Jack made me post this...
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!!!
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"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"
Word Jeffro and Farrah!
Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:19pm.
Farrah
My one brother is returning from the Golf in a couple of weeks-YAY!!!
My other brother is in Afghanistan, and he's safe thank God! He'll be returning in december!
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believe it or not, i was just praying for them. When they grow old, there's gonna be a Farrah thanking them for saving her family.
My family died in concentrations camps,during WWII... all of them, except for my grandma. You know how it feels to be related to that hero. I know how it feels to be grateful to that hero.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Miss Priss,
My brother was in almost 20 years, returned from his 3rd trip to Iraq and retired...decided he couldn't be a civilian and went back in.
Some people were just born to be soldiers. Bless em.
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You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing.
At bedtime, Guy should read David the comments about his mother on dlisted
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Madge has flipped her weave. A child's size serving of purple drank and Cookie Crisp would probably be healthier than that diet she has them on. Wasn't Heidi Fleiss raised on a macrobiotic diet as a kid? We all know *that* didn't cause a well-rounded adulthood for her, did it?
Here's a question: why the fuck is David wearing Uggs? *shakes head*
Jeffro... thank you. Enjoy this day.
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"It's not true I had nothing on ~ I had the radio on."
They're making this stuff up. For example, anybody on D-listed would have been able to guess the list items...
My one brother is returning from the Golf in a couple of weeks-YAY!!!
My other brother is in Afghanistan, and he's safe thank God! He'll be returning in december!
They have both been in the service for 8 years
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They're both in my thoughts.
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"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"
Farrah
My one brother is returning from the Golf in a couple of weeks-YAY!!!
My other brother is in Afghanistan, and he's safe thank God! He'll be returning in december!
They have both been in the service for 8 years
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Shut up and eat yo cheese sandwich
Jeffro11,
There are a lot of spoiled ass-hats out there, but there are still people who appreciate what the armed services do for us.
Whenever my brother is out in uniform he says people still salute him and sometimes they shake his hands. He said they were really great after his return from Iraq the first time.
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You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing.
Jeffro and Miss Priss, thanks you for all your sacrifice. ♥♥♥♥♥
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:13pm.
Thank you Farrah!!♥♥♥♥♥
They're my only 2 bros too! =(
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Mind my asking where they are?
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"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"
Jeffro, you and your family have more class in your litte toenail than Madonna has in all of her gristle. She should be ashamed of herself.
Madonna's kids are going to be sugar, salt, alcohol, dope fiends when they grow up.
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Submitted by Jeffro11 on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:08pm.
allow us to offer you our best seat in this here crazy place, please.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Thank you Farrah!!♥♥♥♥♥
They're my only 2 bros too! =(
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Shut up and eat yo cheese sandwich
Glad to have served, thanks for all the well wishes, I love you twisted fucks. :-)
Anyone wanting to do more for our military can check this out:
http://www.soldiersangels.org/
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"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:30pm.
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Guy should have had a bag of Cheetos waiting in the limo when he picked up the children, along with Tang, because Tang and Cheetos breaks almost all the rules: man-made and processed. He should feed them so much Tang and Cheetos that they look like Oompa-Loompas when he returns them.
reply
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Don't forget paint-ball guns, Archie and Jughead Digests and a couple of Jackass dvds.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4khLRDBXhsM&feature=related
Submitted by Jeffro11 on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:08pm.
Whenever my son and I run into someone in uniform, he points them out, and we'll walk over just to say 'thank you'.
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That makes my cry-holes pee.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:08pm.
God Bless 'em all.
Glad to have you here on earth Jeffro11.
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
@Jeffro
...something in my eye
David and Rocco look like they have been set free from Nurse Ratchet's clutches in those pics.
About Starbucks 97% profit loss this quarter, who would have thought that Brit Brit giving up her Fraps would have caused such an epic magnitude.
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If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 2:06pm.
Farrah
Yea God bless our soldiers.
My 2 brothers are in the service. I always pray they return home safely
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they have been immediately added to my prayer list. G'd bless them every day.
Brave family you got there, dear. You should be very proud.
*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Jeffro, you can't imagine how i feel when i see those soldiers at the airports. Sitting on the floors, because people are too bothered to move their precious asses and laptops to offer them a seat. When i see them (usually at DFW) i can only think "there goes someone's son/daughter.. G'd almighty, just keep him/her safe"
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Farrah- I can't image how you feel...but I've been one of those boys sitting on the floor.
Everyone- Whether you agree with the US policies, I promise you that those guys aren't making the decisions...they're doing what they're ordered to do. If they were ordered to step in front of you and take a bullet, they'd do it. Please show them the respect they deserve, not just today, but every day. Whenever my son and I run into someone in uniform, he points them out, and we'll walk over just to say 'thank you'. The reaction is the same, they swell up a bit with pride, perhaps a little embarrased too, cuz they're just doing their jobs in their eyes. But it's that shit that keeps them going when times are tough.
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"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"
Farrah
Yea God bless our soldiers.
My 2 brothers are in the service. I always pray they return home safely
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Shut up and eat yo cheese sandwich
Christ, can you imagine what it was like to be married to that she-beast?!
I hope Guy is enjoying every second of freedom.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
I am happy to see that Rocco looks nothing like Vadgina. Poor Lourdes.
Submitted by Callan:
"When I worked part time at Barnes & Noble in college, I used to hide her books when I was assigned to the children's section. I once replaced an entire display of her books with a bunch of Roald Dahl ones. Suck on that, Vadge."
CLASSIC! I love it! made me giggle.
Leave it to a Navy man to remind us what today is about.
Thanks to you all who serve and have served.
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You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:57pm.
hooo haaaa that ther was funny, Farrah! yee haw!
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let's make up more shit to add to the list before the you-know-who shows up, hates us all for loving/hating Vadge and make the whole thing boring.
Children are NEVER to see other children. They are to be told they are the ONLY ones and the most important ones (take that, Drangeculina!)
Children are to bow to mother's roided vagina shrine every night.
Children are not to call any body builder "Mommy"
oh man, i could do this shit all day!
*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Aren't these HIS fucking kids too? He has no say in any of this, because the Gristle Monster is the final authority? She who must not be defied?
Fuck that noise. If I were Guy, I'd take them to McDonald's wearing polyester clothes, playing them nonstop cartoons on the DVD player, and make them drink TAP WATER.
She's a control freak and she wonders why her relationships all break up. F*R*R*E*A*K!
*stares at rolling paper ring on finger*
its *sniff* beautiful!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I would like to hear what a nutritionist says about children being on that kind of restrictive diet. What are they allowed to do for entertainment? These kids are going to rebel on a massive level when they figure out that the sun doesn't rise and set on her ass.
I now ponounce us
Two hot bitches sitting in a tree
s-t-e-a-l-i-n weed!
YAY!
*happy dance*
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Im a Princess on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:33pm.
It's 'couldN'T care less'.
Submitted by chilly0047 on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:36pm.
chilly0047, you are a liar.
I do! I do!
I need forevah nub!
Cuz I been wookin pa nub in all da wong paces!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
She has no right to demand all of this stuff.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by Farrah on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:50pm.
i think if i were Vadge i'll add:
hooo haaaa that ther was funny, Farrah! yee haw!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
sorry, i forgot.
To all the veterans of WWII, a very humble THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you for releasing my grandma and make her believe there's good in every man's heart.
Jeffro, you can't imagine how i feel when i see those soldiers at the airports. Sitting on the floors, because people are too bothered to move their precious asses and laptops to offer them a seat. When i see them (usually at DFW) i can only think "there goes someone's son/daughter.. G'd almighty, just keep him/her safe"
*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:52pm.
MARRY ME!
I would nub you always and forever!
*whispers*
forrrreeeeeeeeeevaaaaaaaaaaa
in lethaaaaaaaaaa babe!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I have always said Madonna is crazy and if this doesn't prove it then I don't know what will!
Control-freak much?! Jeez! Boycott Madonna! She's just crazy! Stop giving her money. She has enough already and she's spending it in London! She's not even helping the US economy. Go away Madonna!
lolo, Id be quite happy to BE a gnome alongside you ♥ we could ride the subway for free and rob drug dealers cuz wed be so tiny! we could each get one of the puppehs to ride around on! itd be so fun!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
So is the trim on that jacket on David REAL (cruel) FUR? Or is it manmade fiber?
Egads the dilemmas these celebrities must face!
Surprised she doesn't want them flea dipped.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:35pm.
Nice story, and to any veteran that is reading this....THANK YOU!!!! Happy Veterans Day.
Yes! And where is Miss Nitty's 1963 Navy avie?
i think if i were Vadge i'll add:
Children MUST wear clothes made out of human skin at ALL times. Babies under 8 days because of the bris and that removes skin much needed to keep kids warm.
Children are NEVER to talk/make fun of sister's unibrow.
Children should sleep im beds made of assistants, this meaning assistant next to assistant. The bigger, the softier.
Children should NEVER breathe normal air. Only canned breathing from the Bergs.
discuss.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
@Jeffro
Thanks for reminding us of vet's day. my father was a wwII vet. i will never forget what he sacrificed. a humble and honorable man. he was on the front line only a few months before being critically injured. but what he saw gave him coldsweats and nightmares his entire life to his death bed.
Thank you vets.
.
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 1:41pm.
You gnome me, you really, really gnome me good!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I think any family law attorney would say that what guy does with his time with the children is his busuness. Vadge can't dictate what Guy does during his parenting time. Haha!
I love you all. Oh me oh my. And an ooooh la la.
xo
Kevin Clamato Juice (Click it, bitches! My official myspace)