Duh.
That giant bag of Botox and lie-telling, Nicole Kidman, is making the rounds promoting that "Australia" movie and she talked to Glamour magazine about giving birth to Sunday Roast. Put on your "bitch, please" dress and read what she had to say:
"Keith was my rock during childbirth. I'd heard horror stories of 40 hours of labor, and I was sure that would be me, but I had a very easy labor. And through it all, Keith's eyes gave me such strength. "I'm in a place of gratitude and humility. I don't take any of it for granted. I touch wood every day. The journey of life — we all go through it: You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing."
It's easy for her to touch wood. All she has to do is touch her forehead. And don't roll your eyes or queef with your mouth! I'm sure she chipped a nail while writing the check. And I also bet she got a small rash on her belly from wearing that pillow so much. AND she couldn't let the Botox needle touch for a while and you know that had to hurt. Imagine the panic attacks she went through when she looked in the mirror and noticed a tiny, little wrinkle on her forehead!! She probably developed migraines from pulling her forehead apart with duct tape and twine. So Nicky did suffer a bit!
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Why the Nicole hatin?? Please concentrate your efforts on the douches right out in our faces with their annoying and largely imagined huge egos, inflated senses of self worth and zero talent....like Tommygirl, will smith, travolta, both becks, etc etc...see a pattern?
Man, being married to Tommy boy must have really messed her head up!!!!! Can you honestly imagine the Hell it was married to him? She must be so greatful she escaped. Sad part is, she lost her kids to Xenu.
You know Tommy boy has the worst case of Narcisitic Personality disorder!!!!
Living well is the best revenge.......
That little bit of speech sounds like it was recycled from her days with Tommy Girl. Who writes this shit for her anyways???
Keith's eyes gave her such strength when she wrote the check to Antonia for being her surrogate.
*Puttin' on my "bitch, please" dress*
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“Tomorrow's just a future yesterday."
Any bets out there as to how long this "marriage" will last? I'm surprised it's lasted this long, but, what the hell, I'll give it another two years TOPS.
She should go back to the ginge. Blond is a washout on her - makes her look old. And her troll husband should get rid of the highlights.
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Bye! Good
Submitted by Gabriela on November 4, 2008 - 1:44pm.
I'm sure she's not the only one in her marraige who likes to touch wood everyday.
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heehee you baaad
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Ya know, I like NK's work. I always thought she was a good actress-much better than at least than that bitch she was married to the first time.
However, WTF has she done to be called a Woman of the Year?!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on November 4, 2008 - 10:38am.
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We've got Ben & Jerry's, but no KK donuts. Fuck that, I want a drink. Free shots!
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I just heard on the news a local bar is offering free pints for anyone who voted!! Can I vote more than once?!?!?!??
♥ I'm taking requests...♥
I'm sure she's not the only one in her marraige who likes to touch wood everyday.
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It's ironic that in its quest for immortality, religion itself may lead to our extinction.
Mr. IV has morning wood a lot. Then he spoons me to let me feel it.
My boys cannot always crank the wood down to pee, and they do indeed end up firehosing the bathroom.
Gee my life is fun!
I hate sex hookers. Serious guys, immediately chat with me on " ★★★★__ K is S M illion aireS. Co m__ ★★★★" where many nice singles seeking love online.
She touches wood every morning? I guess she is a lucky girl.
.
My favorite cover out now has Nicole on the cover of some fashion magazine (forget which one)inexplicably holding her hair line at the forehead. It's the most fucking bizarre cover pose I've ever seen. Don't these magazines use editors or did they all get axed in downsizing? It's hilariously awful.
KK=Krispy Kreme
B&J=Ben & Jerry's
Jeffro- I know, that is a scary moment right there! My BF is always worried his aim will be off and then the whole bathroom will be doused! I got some overspray on me once, even, while I was standing at the sink!
Sugaroo: why thank you :)
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
Submitted by KD on November 4, 2008 - 11:09am.
Why are guys horny in the morning anyway? jeffro, do you know? Or is it more a question of when aren't they horny?
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We're pretty much horny all the time...although a lot of times morning wood is nothing more than reeeeally having to use the bathroom.
If you look in the dictionary, "torque" is defined as: waking up with morning wood, pointing it down towards the toilet, and it lifts your heels off the ground.
...then we get horny. :-)
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"Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"
once she started spewing bullshit about how she is "all natural", and hasn't had any work done, I decided I will never ever believe a thing that comes out of her mouth.
Even if she said the sky was blue, the grass is green and my dog is cute.....ok, I'd believe her if she said my dog is cute.
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what's happened has happened, what's coming is already on it's way, with a role for me to play
And I don't understand, I'll never understand, but I'll try to understand....there's nothing else I can do...
Submitted by lizardbits1 on November 4, 2008 - 11:10am
I like your way of thinking. ;-)
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What's the difference between a rectum and an anus, anyway? All I know is, mine only opens one way: OUT!
Sugaroo: No, not really, I was fishing for something to say and the whole "airheaded cunt who thinks she's a real person but is really just a big bag of botox" was taken up! Throw me a bone... still on the Hugh thing and now thinking about bone... mmmm....
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
Why are guys horny in the morning anyway? jeffro, do you know? Or is it more a question of when aren't they horny?
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on November 4, 2008 - 10:54am.
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Hahhahahhah,I sleep on the couch I wouldn't know.
ANYALWAYSHORNY....I had to read that like four times before I got it.I should go drink a V-8.
Jill-The-Ripper: Agreed girl!
Also when you were using acronyms for the free shit, I thought you were still being dirty. B&J I can translate pretty well, but how the HELL do you KK? tee hee.
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
You think THAT hair is red? Huh?
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What's the difference between a rectum and an anus, anyway? All I know is, mine only opens one way: OUT!
Mmmm... wood... I like me some wood.
Still on my Hugh Jackman kick... while thinking about wood...
Excuse me... I need some "me time".
OT: um.. actually I have nothing more to say about her. I'm glad that she's still a red head?
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
Submitted by Triscuit on November 4, 2008 - 10:52am
YES! I LOVE Dominick Dunne! I have everything he's ever written. I didn't know The Two Mrs. Grenvilles was based on a very real murder until I saw the book about the actual case by another author!
Sorry. On topic: If Nicole Kidman smiles too wide, do her cheeks shatter?
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What's the difference between a rectum and an anus, anyway? All I know is, mine only opens one way: OUT!
Jill-The-Ripper,
"I love the feel of waking up with someone's kickstand nestled against my bottom."
RIGHT!!! Goooooooood Morning!
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Baby G., we bring you 20 cigarettes, a Diet Coke, and a sack of charcoal!
Jill-The-Ripper LMAO me too babe!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Why is she a woman of the year? Does she really do anything for society other than stand around and look pretty?
@IG and Dee..Sorry, for the delay. I was upstairs putting on my fake cast and neck brace so I can skirt the line at the polls.
IG, perhaps a bit of Scotch inya?
Dee, gonna have to wait on the PTA towels, they came slightly used.
Okay, off to cast my aspersion...erm, vote.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
I love the feel of waking up with someone's kickstand nestled against my bottom.
We do have a KK but it's over in yuppieville.
Alas, No B&J.
Submitted by Sugaroo on November 4, 2008 - 10:43am.
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I LOVE Dominick Dunne.Didja know the girl from "The Poltergeist",the dark haired sister,is his Daughter.She was killed by some fuck crazy boyfriend.That is just horrible.
Wow, they Photoshopped her to look like an actual human being. As far as what she said, though...who cares? She is starting to piss me off.
I like NK. I don't necessarily get her Summer's Eve like quote "I'm in a place of gratitude and humility. I don't take any of it for granted. I touch wood every day. The journey of life — we all go through it: You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing." though.
Part of me has a lot of sympathy for NK. She was married to Tommygirl and I can only imagine the bullshit she experienced. Then when her usefulness and her shelf life expired, he tossed her aside like a snotty tissue-and bad mouthed her to boot.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Blah, blah, blah, my life is so perfect. Whatever. I hate this superficial cunt.
Krispy Kremes are made out of potato flakes. I just can't handle that thought this early.
Writer Dominick Dunne, who's been battling bladder cancer at New York Hospital, asked his doctors to postpone his surgery so he could vote today for Obama. "This is a momentous time in American history," said Nick, 82. "And I'm not going to miss it."
ELECT PROPERLY!
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What's the difference between a rectum and an anus, anyway? All I know is, mine only opens one way: OUT!
I do not believe for one minute that this bitch had a vadge birth.Hollywood is the land of scheduled c-sections.No rich bitch is going to go through pain and stretch their beloved pussy.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I love hearing stars prattling on about life. "The journey of life — we all go through it"? I'm still going to see her dumb movie, however.
Jeffro11 !
Well, i could think of worse things to wake up to!
;-)
On topic: zzzzzzzzzzzz
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Baby G., we bring you 20 cigarettes, a Diet Coke, and a sack of charcoal!
Submitted by KD on November 4, 2008 - 10:35am.
I guess you can get free Ice Cream and Ben & Jerrys, too, but there isn't one around here.
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We've got Ben & Jerry's, but no KK donuts. Fuck that, I want a drink. Free shots!
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
Heehee Snowy ♥
Nitty, I'll take one of yer penis candies but only if you let me borrow one of your PTA towels for mah Slitty. Heh.
Seriously, Nicole is never going to live down the "I touch wood every day" comment. I'll make sure of that!
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras
RIP Pepper ♥
I guess you can get free Ice Cream and Ben & Jerrys, too, but there isn't one around here.
Submitted by Clarisse on November 4, 2008 - 10:31am.
Mornin wood? Where? What?
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Right here, Clarisse. Wake up in the mornin and try to roll over, it's like a kickstand. :-)
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
yeah, I admit, I have to knock on wood ALL the time but if there is no wood I use my head. It has to be three times too.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Nitty, the hot Toddie sounds good. As long as he has an accent. :)
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Submitted by snowpiece on November 4, 2008 - 10:22am.
The Krispy Kreme thing is supposed to be all over the country.
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I Voted
Mornin wood? Where? What?
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Baby G., we bring you 20 cigarettes, a Diet Coke, and a sack of charcoal!
Mornin, ♥DeeDee♥. Might I offer you a penis candy?
♥IG♥ perhaps a hot toddie and a cough drop?
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Dee Dee Deee Deeeee Deeeeeee DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I dunno why i did that!
No you guys if you take your little proof of voting into a starfucks, Krispi Kream, or other participating thingie magiggie at a certain time or like all day maybe, well ya get your free shit then yo!
Not at the Boofs. You dont get no get free shit thar naaaaaaaa!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!