I Didn't Know Mr. Burns Was Into Vagina
Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie's virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the "famous actor" is James Woods. Ew. You know he's into that shit.
Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a "theoretical study" but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there's nothing wrong with that, but let's not make this shit all serious. She's whoring herself out. Plain and simple.
59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he's never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it's like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.
That said, for a $1 million, I'd stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I'd even let him keep the stem.
P.S. - Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.
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Good lord that guy is disgusting, he probably can't even get it up. Sometimes I'm glad I'm a bit of a prude. I can't imagine having to fuck that, nasty. Oh and bitch you are not a feminist.
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2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Ugh that clip grossed me out I couldn't watch the whole thing. Just nast.
She's a prostitute, right?
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"Just when I think you are the shallowest man alive you manage to drain a little more out of the pool."
what the hell is that shit on Tyra's head? It looks more alive everytime I see it.
Lee looks like he chains women in his dark secret house in the mountains and sniffs their feet.
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In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Pfft, that famous actor is Mickey Rourke. That hot bitch needs MOAR VIRGINS! You think that beautiful face rejuvenates itself?
I am seriously skeeved out after watching this clip. He looks like he could be her grandfather-there isn't enough money in the world.
I do have to admit that I like Cathouse on HBO. One of my guilty pleasures.
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Yes...because every girl dreams of losing her virginty to her peedo looking grandfather who wears suits from the local mortuary. There are no words for this foolishness
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Tyra needs to be fired from the human race.
Ewww to lose it to someone like that creepy peepaw is just wrong.
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And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Gross. But on the other hand, I wish I had charged for my first time...at least I would've had a bunch of cash to wipe my slut guilt tears.
Ugh. I need a shower now. And Tyra Banks drives me nuts.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan