I Didn't Know Mr. Burns Was Into Vagina
Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie's virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the "famous actor" is James Woods. Ew. You know he's into that shit.
Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a "theoretical study" but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there's nothing wrong with that, but let's not make this shit all serious. She's whoring herself out. Plain and simple.
59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he's never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it's like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.
That said, for a $1 million, I'd stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I'd even let him keep the stem.
P.S. - Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.
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the most repulsive part is his suggestion of a carriage ride through the park. what's with that? romance? bend her over a trash can and get it over with, pops.
Submitted by dead-actress on November 3, 2008 - 9:55pm.
virgin wannabe...prostitute... you say potatoes.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Sasha Grey wanna be. Call it "art."
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"My fellow prisoners...." - John McCain
"Brothers should pull up their pants"-Barack Obama
"Luxurious lifestyles take a hit" - USAToday
air force amy!!!! she needs her own network.
Submitted by TITS on November 3, 2008 - 9:48pm.
I don't doubt it, there are plenty of fit, hot 60 year old peeps out there (Harrison Ford springs to mind). I was just a little shocked at the 60y.o./20y.o. combination. Not judging Smurfy... consenting adults, whatever floats your boat and all that...but I was a little taken aback :)
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by TITS on November 3, 2008 - 9:49pm.
hah! second visit half price?
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More like "satisfaction NOT guaranteed"..As for the second visit, half price - Hope she realizes that after all is said and done, she's now officially a virgin wannabe. Ain't no going back, honey. Ain't no going back.
~*~*~*~*A gentleman is simply a patient wolf....Lana Turner*~*~*~*~
Submitted by dead-actress on November 3, 2008 - 9:47pm.
I hope she included a "no refund" clause in her V-Card agreement...in case she disappoints.
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hah! second visit half price?
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 3, 2008 - 9:37pm.
@TITS
Did your eyebrows hit your hairline too when you got to the 62 part?
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no actually! I've seen some really good looking /nice body 62 year olds. men and women.
was biking in town a few years ago and i kept meeting up with another cyclist at the stop lights and we got to talking - he swam, ran and biked every day. 82 years old and in fantastic shape. happy too! fucker kept beating me.
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I hope she included a "no refund" clause in her V-Card agreement...in case she disappoints.
~*~*~*~*A gentleman is simply a patient wolf....Lana Turner*~*~*~*~
HAHAHA. I think blue top girl in the audience at 3.10 threw up in her mouth a bit and swallowed it.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Yeah, HOW does this not fall under prostitution? because she wants to pay for her schooling? how cute, I'm poor, I'm going to do the same thing. Well... I wouldn't be as valuable as her, but still. Maybe I'll get featured on TyTy's show too =D
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on November 3, 2008 - 9:36pm.
well have at it! no harm, no foul i say.
i prefer older men too, but have never had that wide a difference.
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on November 3, 2008 - 9:36pm.
Did any waitresses do the "Would you and your daughter like a seat by the window?" comment?
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
@TITS
Did your eyebrows hit your hairline too when you got to the 62 part?
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
What is this?
The new way to pay off student loans amid rising tuition costs?
Let's all stick cherries in our holes and find someone to fish them out!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
"Submitted by TITS on November 3, 2008 - 9:27pm.
Really? This is fascinating.
Where do you meet them, do you make the first move? Where do you go on dates? And have you... you know.. wink wink with them?
Do you date men closer to your own age as well?
I'm not hating just damned curious!"
At the grocery store, at the shopping center, anywhere really. And we usually go to restaurants and such and have a good time. Seriously, the oldest guy I've dated was 62 and he was an asshole and haven't been looking back. But, most recently I've dated guys closer to my age with the youngest being 25. I think older guys are more mature and could be because of my father issues, which means I need something more stable than the whole normal "wham, bam, thank you m'am" type of guy.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by Sheeps on November 3, 2008 - 8:53pm.
This is the girl who allegedly has a degree in women's studies from Sacramento State.
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Think about it - can you imagine anyone LYING about that?
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on November 3, 2008 - 9:02pm.
Pish Posh at these peeps making a big deal at this hot Mr. Burns-esque PePaw being "old."
I've dated guys older than 59 and I'm in my mid-20s.
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Really? This is fascinating.
Where do you meet them, do you make the first move? Where do you go on dates? And have you... you know.. wink wink with them?
Do you date men closer to your own age as well?
I'm not hating just damned curious!
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@wolfyMan
Check out a hilarious new blog:
Getabighotcupofdiealongslowandpainfuldeath.com
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
why is tyra acting so above the topic of whoring oneself out?
http://MuchBetterThanWorking.blogspot.com
Yargh. I'm too creeped out to even watch the rest of this. Nice way to become a prostitute though. I guess.......
*miou*
Eww!!!
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"I fucking drink beer and party!"
I survived Hurricane Ike!!!
Pish Posh at these peeps making a big deal at this hot Mr. Burns-esque PePaw being "old."
I've dated guys older than 59 and I'm in my mid-20s.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Repellant. People will do anything to get their 15 minutes of fame nowadays.
This is the girl who allegedly has a degree in women's studies from Sacramento State.
Does she come with a certificate of authenticity from her Dr.?
♥ I'm taking requests...♥
Sex with her will be just like sex with a porn star. It will not be like having sex with a real teenage virgin who's giving it to her boyfriend. No one can convince me that this woman has never had anything up her vagina. NO ONE. And what about her rectum? Is that virgin, too? She's going to give him his money's worth, I bet, though. Squeezing her kegels and crying "Oh, it HURTS! STOP! Ow, your huge cock is tearing up my little virgin pussy!"
Oh, and my SIL is a white version of Tyra Banks.
I assume the rock star is that pervert known as Bono?
$1 million plus for a "date" and he can't get a better fitting suit? Or hair cut? Maybe he's saving for the Viagra...
Submitted by VMDA78 on November 3, 2008 - 8:29pm.
This girl is a whore. She shouldn't be proud of what she is doing, showing the world the lack of self respect she has. Where are people's limits when it comes to money, money isn't everything and self respect should be valued more. I assume getting paided for giving away her virginity is easier than a regular 9-5 job. It is ignorant idiots like this girl whom lack moral values why so many young girls feel it is o.k to have sex without any emotional commitment and before they are emotionally ready. I hope she gets a STD.
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agreed. but a part of me wishes I'd thought of it first.
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When Tyra said..."would you like to get a closer look?"...Read: "she'll spread her legs and give you a pre-look see for an additional $1 mil."
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Tyra banks is another stupid diva bitch who needs to hear often that her shit smells just like the rest of us and she isn't that special.
This girl is a whore. She shouldn't be proud of what she is doing, showing the world the lack of self respect she has. Where are people's limits when it comes to money, money isn't everything and self respect should be valued more. I assume getting paided for giving away her virginity is easier than a regular 9-5 job. It is ignorant idiots like this girl whom lack moral values why so many young girls feel it is o.k to have sex without any emotional commitment and before they are emotionally mature. I hope she gets a STD.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 3, 2008 - 8:27pm.
Submitted by angel_i on November 3, 2008 - 8:24pm.
I just don't like it when people pee on my neck and tell me it's raining.
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Well, just be sure to mark that on your checklist then:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Submitted by lisaural on November 3, 2008 - 8:21pm.
Haven't even watched the video yet - I'm still trying to recuperate from MK's vague punctuation:
"Study my dick hole."
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oh oh!!! punctuation thread!! yeaaaaah yipppeee
my personal favourite is 'cross government employee'.
heee heee
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Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 3, 2008 - 8:20pm.
She's a prostitute, right?
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No, prostitutes sell sex. She's selling her "virginity"...See the difference? ;-)
Soon, bitches gonna be sellin' they v-card on Ebay...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
What the fuck, this was unbearable to watch! I´ve never seen the Tyra Banks show before, is this representing for the topics she deals with...? That dude was so fucking creepy and why the hell did Tyra keep asking him: What do you want to do? Uh, duh... did she want some graphic details for her own personal use because I´m pretty sure no one else wants to hear about it...
So gross on so many levels.
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I get all my news from DListed
uh, word on the street is that virgin cooch really isn't that great, unless you're like, a fiery volcano or something.
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Oprah just patted her own vagina for introducing books to all of us through the power of TV
Submitted by angel_i on November 3, 2008 - 8:24pm.
I just don't like it when people pee on my neck and tell me it's raining.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Just when I think you are the shallowest man alive you manage to drain a little more out of the pool."
Submitted by cio_cio-san on November 3, 2008 - 8:25pm.
Yea the fame of a skeezer. She'll be forever known as the chick who sold her virginity.
Also who the hell has $3.8 million in this economy?
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2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
How pathetic that no matter what else she may accomplish in her life, she'll always be known as the chick who sold her cherry on the internets.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Serious question. Why don't some of those hookers revirginize themselves and make a huge load of cash? Granted you'd only be able to do it once (or more if your gross like that) but this chick should be inspiration to everyone who doesn't mind making a huge load of cash for spreading them legs. Really it's easy money if your down like that. I'm not but I don't discriminate, you got to make that cash I guess. This chick although a major skeezer, is smart for cashing in.
stake_spike - i didn't want to watch but somehow i got through the whole clip. i'm pretty sure my brain just threw up. lee is disgusting, and that little girl has no idea what she's getting in to. it will not be worth the fame and fortune, that is fo sho. god, how can people be so stupid and/or gross.
Pathetic Humans- Prepare to write down the recipe!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 3, 2008 - 8:20pm.
She's a prostitute, right?
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You got a problem with that?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Bucket List?
CUM Bucket List is more like it.
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Haven't even watched the video yet - I'm still trying to recuperate from MK's vague punctuation:
"Study my dick hole."
I realize what he was prolly *trying* to say, but instead it sounded like a command - one that is in perfect context to the post. I broke my ass laughing at that phrase, then used it as the subject line to share this V-Card craziness with all my best whore friends.
MK: your phrasing constantly makes me "loose" my mind and keeps me sane all at the same time! Sloppy XOs on the No No Hole to you!
Submitted by putas on November 3, 2008 - 8:12pm.
Tyra needs to be fired from the human race.
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Awesomeness, pure unadulturated awesomeness...You have now been elevated to DListed God status for the sheer awesomeness of a comment...Yeah, as a DListed god, you no longer have to pitch in for a community jug of Friday afternoon Purple Drank, and you get a free bag of Cheeto's from the DListed snack bar once a year! What? It's DListed...Whadda 'spect a steak and lobster dinner????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...