I Didn't Know Mr. Burns Was Into Vagina
Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie's virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the "famous actor" is James Woods. Ew. You know he's into that shit.
Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a "theoretical study" but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there's nothing wrong with that, but let's not make this shit all serious. She's whoring herself out. Plain and simple.
59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he's never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it's like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.
That said, for a $1 million, I'd stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I'd even let him keep the stem.
P.S. - Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.
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Submitted by bambam on November 3, 2008 - 11:51pm.
Submitted by Coffey on November 3, 2008 - 11:45pm.
Daaayuuuummm, talk about a sight for sore eyes!!!
You been off the forum for a minute ain't you?
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Who dis?
"A-Million here, A Million there, A-Millionaire, Tougher Than Nigerian Hair!"
Aussies mounting for the Melbourne Cup!
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 3, 2008 - 11:40pm.
Love your avie!
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Bye! Good
Submitted by Coffey on November 3, 2008 - 11:45pm.
Daaayuuuummm, talk about a sight for sore eyes!!!
You been off the forum for a minute ain't you?
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When you see me again I hope you have been the kind of person you really are now.
Smooches Tiger!
Are we still on for cribbage and fluffernutters tomorrow night?
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Night Tiger! Prrrrrrr...
@Mr. President on November 3, 2008 - 11:39pm.
Hahaha! And you don't even have to tart-up to attract them.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Hot DAMN, why didn't I think of this, before giving my ill na-na away for free?
And P.S. Who gives an ish about "chemistry"??? If you're trying to make money by selling your cherry, doesn't the highest bidder with the most cash to waste take precedence? I figure if she's looking for "chemistry" she should log onto E-Harmony.
P.S. School Teacha and Cindy from Hookers at the Point are probably kicking themselves for not having thought of this!
"A-Million here, A Million there, A-Millionaire, Tougher Than Nigerian Hair!"
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 3, 2008 - 11:32pm.
Submitted by redvarga on November 3, 2008 - 11:25pm.
OMG Sandbitch you're so funny!! Not even, you are shitting on poor girls like Miley Cyrus who are virgins.
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Virgin Schmergin. It's a bit of skin.
There are plenty of virgins at the nearest comic book convention, and they're a lot cheaper. Of course, they're all guys.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Ok, DListers must go nite-nitey-nite,but love you more than the millions I'd get for my fake virginity on Ebay...What? Oh, that shit would SOOO go for millions...thousands?...hundreds?...ten bucks???
I could totally sell my "virginity" for a Slim Jim and a blueberry slushie AT THE LEAST...What? What? Ok, just the Slim Jim....:-/
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on November 3, 2008 - 11:24pm.
Down here in Loozianuh, a vigin is just a girl who runs real fast. Faster than her brothers, anyway.
Hahhaha.
Maybe that's how the women's winner of the NYC Marathon trained.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Submitted by redvarga on November 3, 2008 - 11:25pm.
OMG Sandbitch you're so funny!! Not even, you are shitting on poor girls like Miley Cyrus who are virgins..
....
And I'm Britney Spears
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Paige123 on November 3, 2008 - 11:27pm.
I bet it is david Docoveny ( the famous actor) bidding for her.
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Well thank heavens, I was worried that it was the David Duchovny down the street from me. ;-)
(yes, I am a sarcastic asshole)
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on November 3, 2008 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 3, 2008 - 10:44pm.
What gets me about that story is that 1) it's the basically same story but it took place 4 years ago and everyone forgot about it; and 2) she only got 400 bidders and $10,000? Even if that was a typo and it was 10,000 pounds, that's nothing compared to the millions that Natale Dylan is being offered.
If you wait another four years, maybe you could get even more money.
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maybe this explains the 108 year old virgin lady in england - she's holding out for the highest bidder.
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I bet it is david Docoveny ( the famous actor) bidding for her.
I kind of want to know (but not really) how Tyra made it about herself...Lemme guess : "Well, when I was a virgin, I had a lot of suitors up on me because I was on the cover of Sport's Illustrated, but you know what I told them?"
Puhleeze, I have more respect for this cherry selling whore than I do Tyra, and I mean that shit for real.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
OMG Sandbitch you're so funny!!
Not even, you are shitting on poor girls like Miley Cyrus who are virgins til marriage and just laughing about it. Like virginity is a joke. Britney Spears is turning in her grave right now.
@Sandbitch on November 3, 2008 - 11:22pm.
Bitch, you is killin me here! Haha!
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Down here in Loozianuh, a vigin is just a girl who runs real fast. Faster than her brothers, anyway.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Crazy people are starting to take over........
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Bye! Good
What's the difference between pink and purple?
The grip.
I only wanna be a virgin again if I can pronounce it with an eastern European "W" sound for the "V". "Tak, I am Wirgin, pro sheng".
Just 'cuz.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
To me this chick is a prostituta. I mean, it was a "study" thing first and now that she is being whored out by the guy who owns the Bunny Ranch...ummm come on. I have more respect for the Bunny ranch ladies then this bitch...cause they KNOW they are who they are. I feel like she is lying! Get a job to pay off your crap like we all do! Very weird crap I tell ya!
Coma Caca!!
Just call me the party pooper.
Good on the bitch auctioning off her cherry, because you know ALL men figure some bloke's been there already. The concept of *virgin* is in a bloke's head. The purple one.
Edited to correct spellimg.
I think it would be more fun to win her on a game show. Something like "Let's make a Deal".
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 3, 2008 - 11:14pm.
A virgin feels like a crowning turd. Save your money.
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Ok, SOMEONE pleeeeassse instruct me on how to make this my second siggy, becuase that is some INCREDIBLE DListed awesomeness that I must enjoy again and again...but I'm too drunk to do it now...Ok, someone else must make it their siggy....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@Tigerlilly:
*blushing furiously*
Well, thanks, sug. I've just been all busy n stuff. I sure miss you whores, though and pop in every now and again to see what's shaking.
ONT: Smithers, release the hounds.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on November 3, 2008 - 11:10pm.
Hey Tiger, thanks on behalf of us non-trash-rearing whores. *tosses Tiger a zebra hindquarter*
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NO FUCKING WAY!!!! My DListed Icon!!!! Where the fuck has your hot ass been????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
A virgin feels like a crowning turd. Save your money.
oh, and this whole concept is disgusting....
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your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
my guess for the "famous actor" is charlie sheen...that current wife is due to birth kittens and you know charlie won't stick around for that shit...
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your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
Hey Tiger, thanks on behalf of us non-trash-rearing whores. *tosses Tiger a zebra hindquarter*
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 3, 2008 - 11:06pm.
I don't mean to sound like a prude, but the youth of today, THE WOMEN, shock me and not in a good way. They make me glad I never had kids, but they make me sad for the ones who did...
All you whores who don't raise trash, my hat's off to you tonight...This shit is both funny and sad...
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Thanks TL. I would rather slaughter my own than raise trash.
Submitted by Manimal5 on November 3, 2008 - 11:04pm.
I've never "had" a virgin. Oh wait, does a virgin pina colada count?
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Yeah, like that pina colada hasn't gotten about town...*hic*...Oh, yeah and while I'm at it I'm sick of that Shirley Temple bitch actin' like she hasn't gotten it in the...*hic*....KERPLUNK!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tigerlily, if that makes you sound like a prude, then so am I. It's all very disturbing.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Is Mr. Burns wearing a wedding ring?
I don't mean to sound like a prude, but the youth of today, THE WOMEN, shock me and not in a good way. They make me glad I never had kids, but they make me sad for the ones who did...
All you whores who don't raise trash, my hat's off to you tonight...This shit is both funny and sad...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I've never "had" a virgin. Oh wait, does a virgin pina colada count?
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on November 3, 2008 - 10:50pm.
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Yeah, here's my probs with sellin' my virginity
1) Jose Cuervo and I gave that shit up for free over a decade ago...ok, almost two decades, but who's counting
2) do I need a no. 2 now?...Yeah, I do, actually cuz I gotta go poo.... I said poo!...noIdi'nt...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This skeezy potato head is talking about "chemistry"? Bitch, please. You can put a bow tie on a pig and its still a dirty skank.
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"Do you think that car wash vacuum hose is your own personal whore? No, it's not. At least take that bitch to a fancy dinner at Red Lobster."
MK, 10/19/08
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 3, 2008 - 10:44pm.
That's it I'm selling my virginity on Ebay...What? I'm gonna shove a lemon wedge up there before I seal the deal...no one'll be the wiser...
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Oh, Miss TL - you fucking kill me with your sense of humor. LMAO
As for the lemon wedge....You gave "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"...a HOLE new perspective.
~*~*~*~*A gentleman is simply a patient wolf....Lana Turner*~*~*~*~
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 3, 2008 - 10:44pm.
What gets me about that story is that 1) it's the basically same story but it took place 4 years ago and everyone forgot about it; and 2) she only got 400 bidders and $10,000? Even if that was a typo and it was 10,000 pounds, that's nothing compared to the millions that Natale Dylan is being offered.
If you wait another four years, maybe you could get even more money.
That is so wrong there are no words to describe it.
Who thinks of this shit? Doesn't she have anything better to do with her time, like I don't know, find a decent Guido boyfriend to lose her virginity to? Seriously, what the fuck???
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on November 3, 2008 - 10:28pm.
"In 2004, British student Rosie Reid decided to auction off her virginity on eBay. The 18 year old said she would rather sleep with a stranger than live in poverty. She was nervous about money because she was about to graduate from Bristol University with a huge amount of debt. In three days her auction received 400 bids, with the winning bid of $10,000. There have been several more attempts to sell virginity since."
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That's it I'm selling my virginity on Ebay...What? I'm gonna shove a lemon wedge up there before I seal the deal...no one'll be the wiser...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by louise_brooks on November 3, 2008 - 10:16pm.
"Famous actor" has got to be Charlie Sheen.
Or Hugh Grant or maybe Duchovney could let go of his cup long enough to do this.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
"In 2004, British student Rosie Reid decided to auction off her virginity on eBay. The 18 year old said she would rather sleep with a stranger than live in poverty. She was nervous about money because she was about to graduate from Bristol University with a huge amount of debt. In three days her auction received 400 bids, with the winning bid of $10,000. There have been several more attempts to sell virginity since."
http://www.wholesalematch.com/Community/blogs/dropshippers/archive/2008/...
Submitted by blueangel on November 3, 2008 - 8:36pm.
I assume the rock star is that pervert known as Bono?
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I'm going to guess Sting.
Also, where is this child's mother???
Crazies are crazies. They're just looking for a target for their projections.--angel_i
"Famous actor" has got to be Charlie Sheen.
GROSS!!! (That deserved some chicaloca style caps.)
In fact, DAMM GROSS.
Take a cue from angel_i below. Believe it.
Crazies are crazies. They're just looking for a target for their projections.--angel_i