I Didn't Know Mr. Burns Was Into Vagina
Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie's virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the "famous actor" is James Woods. Ew. You know he's into that shit.
Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a "theoretical study" but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there's nothing wrong with that, but let's not make this shit all serious. She's whoring herself out. Plain and simple.
59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he's never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it's like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.
That said, for a $1 million, I'd stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I'd even let him keep the stem.
P.S. - Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.
EEWW! That girl is a prostitute. Those pervy sick John's need to be locked up.
Thanks for the nightmare! I need my bunny slippers and bag of Cheetos........
Submitted by myohmy86 on November 4, 2008 - 10:36am.
Actually I know some morticians and they are loaded. But this guy is still a shill.
SLAG!
Men who have small pe pe and who are shit in bed want the virgin gig. Control freak fuddermukker!! Good luck controlling that media whore! A shit night ahead full of bad acting awaits for a laht of money! If I wanted to do that Id go see that josh Hartnett play.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
I hate sex hookers. Serious guys, immediately chat with me on " ★★★★__ K is S M illion aireS. Co m__ ★★★★" where many nice singles seeking love online.
lol omg when lee got up there i was asking myself how does a mortician have a million dollars? She wants to ride the Lurch train? Cause thats who he looks like LURCH! and when she said its not all about the finances there has to be chemistry his face just fell it was wonderful! Personally hes a sick-o. She's a whack-o.....perfect for each other.
BTW People dont get offended when a woman chooses what to do with her body, they get offended when its dumbfuckery like this. I call shennenagins
Actually, she did get a certificate from a doctor stating that she was a virgin indeed.
Yuck, dude. Just YUCK.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
The funniest part about all of this is the fact that the dumbasses bidding seriously believe she's never done sexy times.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
One, two Brit Brit's coming for you
three, four lock your chillun's doors
five, six she needs her Cheetos fix
seven, eight she dropped her Frap bloat weight
nine, ten her weave looks beat again
She is an inspiration.
And here I am feeling sorry for myself.
PhD, here I come!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Very skanky but a smart lil busibess ho.I like the whole panel O' perv's!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Ewwwww.
I would rather deflower myself for free with a baseball bat than let that creepy guy touch me!
My favorite philosopher, Wanda Sykes, once said: No little girl dreams of being a ho when she grows up. If you a ho, then something has gone awry.
Something has gone awry with this Natalie chick, and yes, she is a ho.
Somebody save this poor chile from herself...and from Mr. Burns.
MK, you talkin big now, cause I know the sight of his nastiness comin at you would have you runnin for the convent. Trust.
Drunken typing is tolerated. Brainless is not. YOU HEAR ME CHICALOCA? ---Sandbitch
This video gave me the creeps.
Natalie here's your handbasket that the world is going to hell in; jump on in.
Tyra is pain in the ass. The chap wants to buy what he's never had and the girl wants to sell her skank ass. It doesn't concern anyone else. The coverage bumps up the price and that's the only reason they went public.
What a phenomenal combination. Old man peen + girl who has no idea what she's doing.
--thanks awfully--
◆◆◆◆◆ My friends describe me a soft, kind and sincere guy with good looking. I would like to meet a beautiful girl who knows how to treat his man on all sides. Feel free to contact me
on the famous online dating hub ” ☆★☆★☆__ K i s s M illionaireS . c o m __ ☆★☆★” Money is not very important
It's times like this, all I can say is God Bless America.
upskt.com
ewwww, thats all I have to say about everyone in that clip.
$3.8 Million?!?! Why oh why didn't I save myself? I'd totally pimp myself out for $3.8 million. Curse my slutty instincts for ever giving it away for free!
Oh boy. Ty Ty is scaping the bottom of the barrel.
Apparently the virgin doesn't have any high standards when it comes to looks and sex appeal. Chemistry don't mean shit if you can't look you peen in the eye. Mr. Burns is C R E E P Y. I mean EWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Get a hot fucking stud, not some dried up, creepy. viagra popping pepaw.
If she's a virgin, I'll eat my hat. And he's probably a shill. If this was legit, she wouldn't need the pimp to run her auction. A chimpanzee can manage an Ebay auction with an escrow site to handle the big bucks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex-FEtFrZNg
MICHAEL K FOREVER!!!!!
Airforce Amy has some big hooters, that guy should be bidding on her.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on November 4, 2008 - 12:37am.
@ TITS:
Hell yes! The more the merrier! It is strip cribbage,. though.
*pours Sauza in blender*
*
strip poker with TL?
I'll bring the clippers... and the catnip!
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@ TITS:
No worries....she is a Brazillian Tiger.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by Team Valtrex on November 4, 2008 - 12:32am.
A 22 year old virgin, that's like finding bigfoot. Which begs the question : how much to fuck bigfoot?
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You mean Paris? The cost depends on whether or not you include the price of the Valtrex afterward.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
phooto finish? how exciting. here's hoping the photographers wasn't too drunk.
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@ TITS:
Hell yes! The more the merrier! It is strip cribbage,. though.
*pours Sauza in blender*
"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
@TV:
Hey sweet cheeks!
And I think Bigfoot has an ad on Craigs List. I will send you the link.
"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on November 3, 2008 - 11:50pm.
Smooches Tiger!
Are we still on for cribbage and fluffernutters tomorrow night?
*
Whoa! I LOVE fluffernutters! And I'm a pegging fiend.
Pairs?
I'll bring the cards.
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A 22 year old virgin, that's like finding bigfoot. Which begs the question : how much to fuck bigfoot?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Dawnie, I wouldn't mind homeschooling a nineteen year old virgin chick. ;]
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Creepella on November 3, 2008 - 11:55pm.
HOT! Did you see some of the links to pics of Joq some DLers posted yesterday, when he was a bit younger and less alchoey? He used to be so shag worthy :(
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
@Mr. President:
I agree that double standards suck, but am guilty as sin of helping to propogate them. If a man were a virgin past the age of say, 19, I would automatically think "sexually confused" or "genitally deformed and in hiding". Not right, I know, but there it is.
A girl on the other hand, would only illict a response akin to "Hmmm, homeschooled?".
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 4, 2008 - 12:06am.
Allesandro volta
septimus
Honolulu
Boundless
Gotta love the Melbourne Cup
1. Viewed
2. Bauer
3. C'est La Guerre
Why is it when a chick is a virgin she's described as pure but when a guy is a virgin he's called a loser. Not that I'm a virgin or anything. I just look like one when I'm wearing my Darth Vader T shirt.
I'm doing great, Dawnie. Hope you are too.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on November 4, 2008 - 12:16am.
Sand:
Enough about this....I still want some a them there flip flops you were flaunting under my deprived Yankee arse last week...
===> You mean my Gisele Bundchen G2C flipperty flops? Eat your heart out.
@Mr. President:
*sewing self into skin-tight white sheath dress*
*practicing best breathy voice*
"Happy Election Day Mr. President"
How you been, you sexy git?
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
The worlds most famous horse race...what's the fucking horses name?
Viewed is the winner of the 2008 Melbourne Cup!
Hi Dawnie. Long time no see. Don't forget to write me in at the ballot box tomorrow.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Viewed
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Sand:
Enough about this....I still want some a them there flip flops you were flaunting under my deprived Yankee arse last week.....
ONT: I'd sell my virginity for those shoes.....well, I'd have to sell it a FEW times, but still.......
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
What horsey won 2c???
Damn, there goes my $2.50!!! Shoulda backed Bart Cummings, damn >:(
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
***Blake Shinn Winning Jockey***
What's the fucking horse's name?
???
She'll be on Oprah next year crying that she made a terrible mistake and I hope Oprah shoves a box of Kleenex down her fuckin throat.
PHOTO FINISH IN THE MELBOURNE CUP
STAND BY...
Allesandro volta
septimus
Honolulu
Boundless
Good evening D-Listers.... would anyone care to bid on my virginity??
what's that? oh yes of course i'm a virgin!! aren't ALL fat white pussies?
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"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever"
Racing now...