Keanu Reeves Is Off The Hook
The poorest-looking rich person in Hollywood won some dumb lawsuit brought against him by a money-hungry pap who sued him for $704, 974. Alison Silva sued Keanu Reeves because while he was taking pictures of his homeless ass last March, he was hit by his Porsche. Alison claims his wrist is permanently fucked up and he couldn't work for a while.
During the four day long trial, the jurors heard Alison totally mess up his testimony by giving contradictory statements. Jurors were also shown a video of Alison using his effed up hand to climb a wire fence to get pictures of Our Lady of Cheetos. Keanu denied he hit Alison and said the pap was injured by tripping over his own feet while walking backwards. HA! Stupid pappie!
The jury was unanimous and it look them less than a day to decide.
If I was a juror on this extremely important case, I would only have two questions! #1: Why does the pap have a girly name? I bet his brothers are named Barbara and Karen. His sisters are John and Brian. #2: What does Keanu's beard have against him? It doesn't want to grow right! He obviously needs to be nicer to it.
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Excellent patchy beard!! *air guitar*
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
His eyes seem to be sinking further back into his head with age.
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And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Submitted by putsomestankonit on November 3, 2008 - 6:01pm.
Keanu is a soapy slapper.
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I may be old because I don't exactly know what this means. But I pray to all that is holy that it involves Keanu, a shower, and my ass.
Can I just say you guys are grossing me out with your little Keanu luv fest? EW! You love him so much, you can visit any one of Canada's most major cities and find guys like him are pretty much a dime a dozen. I dunno, man. I thought this was Dlisted. I'm feeling so...disillusioned...*sigh*
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
well in Brazil and some other latin american countries it seems really common to have a -son name i.e. "Alison, Anderson, Nelson"
He was so hot wtf happened?
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Bye! Good
he is getting kind of weird looking as he ages...not in a good way.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on November 3, 2008 - 6:00pm.
"He needs a hot bath."
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I'll give him one...
Submitted by Leona on November 3, 2008 - 5:57pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on November 3, 2008 - 5:53pm.
Oh Pearl, my avie soulmate, have you succumbed to all caps disease, too?
Who will find a cure?
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The all caps wart is spreading her WART signature around the threads right now. There is no cure!
Keanu is a soapy slapper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Remember when Keanu was hot?
He needs a hot bath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Seriously, congrats. No doubt that pap was stalking him and those vultures deserve to get ran over if you ask me. Some of them anyway.
Submitted by Big L on November 3, 2008 - 5:56pm.
Good for Neo...
Off T - breaking news on MSNBC, Obama's Granny died....pity, I was hoping she would see him make history tomorrow.
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NO! aw no, I wanted to see her at his inauguration :( bye, going to news too
@ Leona: I'll quarantine the all-caps disease to my sig, promise!
LEAVE GUY ALOOOOOOONE!!!
Silva also sued X-17 in March when 3 paps beat him up as they jockeyed for pix of Britney.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on November 3, 2008 - 5:53pm.
Oh Pearl, my avie soulmate, have you succumbed to all caps disease, too?
Who will find a cure?
This post spoiled my breakfast.--loric
Good for Neo...
Off T - breaking news on MSNBC, Obama's Granny died....pity, I was hoping she would see him make history tomorrow.
Other than that -- got nothing; just waving my first siggy!
LEAVE GUY ALOOOOOOONE!!!
Keanu looks like her would have a major odor problem. Brad Pitt also looks like he would fall into the same category.
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
When will doucherag frivolous lawsuit claimants ever understand that YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR ASS FOR PI'S TAPING YOUR SO-CALLED INJURED APPENDAGE IN ACTION. Gah, deal with too much of this shit IRL.
LEAVE GUY ALOOOOOOONE!!!
Submitted by angel_i on November 3, 2008 - 5:48pm.
ALISON! I know this world is killing you
OH ALISON! My aim is true!
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I ♥ My Aim is True
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Just when I think you are the shallowest man alive you manage to drain a little more out of the pool."
Did this douchebag Papp actually think he'd win?! Hilarious.
Something is like, ummmm, fucked up at the Circle K yall.
LMAO!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
#4 - Keanu who?
#5 pass that joint, dude.
ALISON! I know this world is killing you
OH ALISON! My aim is true!
Haha! Stupid pappie!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Keanu will always be a soft spot for me. As you get older you tend to get a little whackier but he's still a good actor, I <3 him.
Yeah and a boy named sue just rear ended me.
Yeeee haw!
*surfs off on a big wave with Swazey. Patric Swayze*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Sounds like a pap schmear to me. Not right.
This post spoiled my breakfast.--loric
I love Keanu. I like them eccentric and a little scruffy.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?