Joaquin Phoenix Says "Bye! Good" To Hollywood
Joaquin, Joaquin, Joaquin... Have you been smoking out with Ashley Todd?
So... As some of you may know, Joaquin Phoenix is saying "BYE! GOOD" to his thespian days and focusing all his precious time on music (aka toking, boozing and strumming a guitar every now and again).
Last night, Joaquin rolled out of his refrigerator box house, picked a couple of rogue scabies off of his one good jacket, fished a half-smoked ciggie from the gutter and showed up to the premiere of his final movie "Two Lovers" with a "BYE! GOOD" message to Hollywood.
It's going to be interesting to see how this dyslexic little drunkard (like I should talk) will be writing songs for his new music career! The thing is, in two or three years when he's blown all of his cash on hookers and hooch, he'll probably come crawling back to Hollywood on his knees like a crackie sucking dick in a truck stop bathroom stall hoping bitches don't notice. He'll go around begging for the leading role in the direct to DVD feature, Walk The Line 2: The Passion Of The Cash.
That being said, I'd hit it, hairlip and all! Or should I say, "It! Hit I'd".
ShareThis
Submitted by kacky on November 2, 2008 - 11:31pm.
Why does he think anyone even cares? He could just go do music and be turning down roles in the meantime - if there even ARE any.
------------------
First, you said it! haha!
Better? Or did you do this one already?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
No Way! I think a crazed, 6'4" black man saw the McCain stickers on his Doobie-mobile, got enraged, threw him down, and drew this on his knuckles!
What he NEEDS is for Keanu to come and say, "Hey. That's what little dudes do."
-Einah
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 11:43pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 2, 2008 - 11:37pm.
GGooooooosssseeeeee
=====
I see some real genius in your flying Maverick
But
Goooooo oooo oossssseee
I'll never get over losing Goose.
Submitted by angel_i on November 2, 2008 - 11:24pm.
James Haven!
I was right! He is too ugly now! Not like Tom Cruise that handsome devil!
--------------------------------------------------
angel! SmOOches
Well James Haven cannot agree with you there for he has seen Sir Tommy up close and can tell you, he has receding gums! Nasty!
And his hair is greasy, and his palms sweat, his feet stink, and his breath smells like something died in it. Joaquin, before he let himself get all flubbery, was much better looking then Sir Tommy!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
He looks smelly. Like hardcore homeless smelly. *holding little sock monkey nose*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:39pm.
Whooo Jamesy baby, that's some weird shit! I hope Angelina doesn't get a whiff of this!
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Submitted by . on November 2, 2008 - 11:15pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Stop trying to bite my ♥SmOOOtcheS♥
dick.
♥
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 2, 2008 - 11:37pm.
GGooooooosssseeeeee
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Benji_Madden on November 2, 2008 - 11:21pm.
James Haven any advice for Joq on his music career?
--------------------------------------------------
James Haven told him to stick to acting!
Benji, James Haven knows we have not met, but he feels close to you since he once went to a Good Charlotte concert. George Clooney had tickets and didn't want them, so...
Anyhoo...James Haven must warn you that Paris will never stay faithful to one man. Just ask Criss Angel. James Haven was on suicide watch when Paris dumped his card trick playin' ass. It wasn't pretty. Trust.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Alright biatches, I'll see you next Friday. Have a great week...love yas...
I also thought that Gone, He was already. Why announce it? Even A-list actors are forgotten simply if they stay away and don't take work for a year. Hollywood is all about the next cash cow. He's just nailing needless nails in his career's coffin -- ugh, bad analogy.
Submitted by madam s. on November 2, 2008 - 11:40pm.
He's hanging out with some real scumbags right now involved in his new "music career".
------------------
Scumbags in the music industry? Shock.
Hi Madam S. Long time, no see.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by . on November 2, 2008 - 11:15pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Fukk ya'll.
Not ereybody cin spell guud.assholes.
Diaz///I ♥ you,I know you are a pe~paw.Spelling is tough.
Jamesy doll,
"When James Haven gets his leading role, you crazy bitches are ALL going to be his date for the premiere."
-
*gulp* What an awesome fantasy...let's all wish it so! *wishes as hard as she can with her wish stone*
LTC, my funny money is only worth something if you play the game Monopoly. I still haven't figured out a way to bounce checks on that game. :(
Nite Good, all.
Peace & Love and visa versa.
Me
He's hanging out with some real scumbags right now involved in his new "music career". They are celebrity leeches who will make sure he gets his drugs and alcohol and stays good and fucked up so that he stays on this path and hanging out with them.
His only hope of getting better will be removing himself completely from his current social group. He's been troubled for a long-ass time and is pretty vulnerable to bad influence, I think.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on November 2, 2008 - 11:32pm.
Ooh James, that reminds me! I've been meaning to ask you about this whole Brad Pitt/Diane(?) Kruger rumor! What do you think?
------------------------------------------------
Hello fuzzy!
Well...just between us....James Haven has caught Brad texting and giggling like a school girl. When James Haven asked him who he was texting he replied: Mother.
Mother?! Does James Haven look like a fool?
So one night when Brad was sleeping he grabbed his cell and made a break for it down the hall. When safely out of harm's way, James Haven read the texts:
Brad: Hi there my little love muffin. Do you know what I'm doing right now? I'm looking at a picture of you with that bikini I bought you in France.
Mother?: Only one more day until we will be together and then you can SHOW me what you really think of me in that bikini
*add nausea here* Mother? That is sick! James Haven does not believe for one second that he's talkin' that jive to his Mother? What do you bitches think?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:30pm.
Hugs and kisses and a little feel of your ass James Haven.
BillyBob impostor? That sounds like the work of the oldest one. Pesky!
Oh, and James Haven, you can crash on my couch anytime you want ♥♥♥
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by angel_i on November 2, 2008 - 11:24pm.
James Haven!
I was right! He is too ugly now! Not like Tom Cruise that handsome devil!
===
Oh no she didn't ~ she mentioned Top Gun.
Take my breath away Tommy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d24qtRqOKks
Submitted by Benji_Madden on November 2, 2008 - 11:21pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MY WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is goin' on,My hookah?
I lovvvves you!♥☺
looks like someone could use a tick and flea bath...
_____________________________________________
your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
He's gone from Gladiator to Garburator in a few short years.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:32pm.
Socky!! MuAhh!! it's been forever!
How are you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doing great! Going to graduate school working on my MBA. Bleah! I hate homework, but the BF keeps me on track. It's wonderful to see you. Thanks for always making me laugh with your funny stories. Me loves you, James Haven! *dreamy sigh*
ON T: JP? *sigh of disgust*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Jamesy, have you ever thought of making a clothing line with your face on everything? I'd so be all over that.
I love you whores.Too much.Thank you for lookin me out w/ my Papi.
I see we have some avie madness going on again tonight. HAHA.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
He should take up boxing also
Cos that worked out sooo fine for Mickey Rourke
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on November 2, 2008 - 11:26pm.
Hi Jamesy!!! xoxo
--------------------------------------------------
LCT! SmOOches sweetpea!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:30pm.
Ooh James, that reminds me! I've been meaning to ask you about this whole Brad Pitt/Diane(?) Kruger rumor! What do you think?
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Submitted by angel_i on November 2, 2008 - 11:25pm.
I'm gonna nightmares about those fucking hands fersure.
check your email!
2 cents - the hands over the nips didn't look that good. I know! hard to believe eh?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on November 2, 2008 - 11:27pm.
James Haven! *jumps off top of hamper* You better catch me!! *planting sm00ches on your face*
--------------------------------------------------
Socky!! MuAhh!! it's been forever!
How are you?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Why does he think anyone even cares? He could just go do music and be turning down roles in the meantime - if there even ARE any.
Hit, I would have...back in his Gladiator days. What.a.waste.
Submitted by Mr. President on November 2, 2008 - 11:28pm.
James Haven! You're hotter than Zefron and all those Gossip Girl twinks put together.
--------------------------------------------------
Thanks Mr. President. That's what Angie tells him, but still, coming from a fellow Dlister means alot.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 11:24pm.
JAMES HAVEN ! *blows kisses*
--------------------------------------------------
*Hugs MTC!
It's great to see all of you! Things around here are intense! Angie and Brad are barely speaking. They just pass notes to James Haven and it gets confusing because now the kids are getting in on the note passing. When will it end? James Haven has even resorted to calling BillyBob and asking him if James Haven could crash there until this blows over. Unfortuantely BillyBob has left the Country indefinately, or so he's been told, by a man who sounds suspiciously LIKE BillyBob.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
James Haven! You're hotter than Zefron and all those Gossip Girl twinks put together.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by TITS on November 2, 2008 - 11:16pm.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 11:14pm.
OH YOU BITCH! I had that icon done and in my file ready to go!!
not with mk's face though...
i put the holes over her nips.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
DO IT!!!! I'll get changed. *Says in a loud voice "I'm just goin over here to take all my clothes off"...looks at James Haven...winks*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by . on November 2, 2008 - 11:18pm.
REAL tomata ketsup? You spared no expense! *psst...over here...nevermind these other dlister vagabonds...I got some funny money...I print it when I sees fit but you have to be wealthy to need some. Want some? You're Canadian right, you hoser?*
-----------------------------
Take off, eh? Yes. I's be from the GWN. Do I need a special decoder ring to get some one these monies?
James Haven! *jumps off top of hamper* You better catch me!! *planting sm00ches on your face*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Hi Jamesy!!! xoxo
Submitted by . on November 2, 2008 - 11:22pm.
JAMES HAVENNNNNNN!
*Faints dramatically in your arms* [shh. I'm a closet thespian].
JH, you work too hard trying to take care of your sis and fam...you need to work on your own career...you already have a die-hard fan base here on dlisted. Think of US if you can't think of yourself. WE NEED YOU!
*plants kitten kisses on your forehead*
-------------------------------------------------
Thanks for the love, Dot. James Haven DOES have to work on his career. He is not getting any younger. That Chase Crawford is really giving James Haven a run for his money! Pretty boy.
When James Haven gets his leading role, you crazy bitches are ALL going to be his date for the premiere.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
I'm gonna nightmares about those fucking hands fersure.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
James Haven!
I was right! He is too ugly now! Not like Tom Cruise that handsome devil!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Submitted by TITS on November 2, 2008 - 11:18pm.
Sorry, I've had to learn all this stuff just to answer PHONES so someone else needs to suffer with me. I used to work for Walmart and they sucked ass so somehow that news doesn't surprise me.
**********************************************
Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Freaky.
JAMES HAVEN ! *blows kisses*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by boomsy on November 2, 2008 - 11:14pm.
That's not so bad if the family benefit, but is really dodgy if the company stands to benefit for training you. WTF!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
JAMES HAVENNNNNNN!
*Faints dramatically in your arms* [shh. I'm a closet thespian].
JH, you work too hard trying to take care of your sis and fam...you need to work on your own career...you already have a die-hard fan base here on dlisted. Think of US if you can't think of yourself. WE NEED YOU!
*plants kitten kisses on your forehead*
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:17pm.
LOLOL this place keeps gettin better & better.
James Haven any advice for Joq on his music career?
☻ b
Submitted by James Haven on November 2, 2008 - 11:17pm.
Aww, don't be sad, hunny bunny. You starred in this classic, remember?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.