Vadge & Guy's Crazy Marriage Contract
Vadge is the most controlling controller whoever controlled, so it shouldn't come to a complete shock that she made Guy Ritchie agree to a marriage contract. The contract was filled with insane rules like how often they should fuck and what words they should using during arguments. I'm guessing "fuck you cunt" wasn't one of the allowed phrases?
According to The Sun, the document was posted around the house and whenever he was a bad slave and broke the rules, she would say, "Contract, Guy, contract." I bet he had to sign it with the blood from his ripped out nutsack.
Here's just some of the rules on Vadge's "I OWN YOU" contract:
Guy must work to enrich his wife’s emotional and spiritual wellbeing.Guy must devote several hours a week to reading Kabbalah texts with Madge.
Guy must only use certain words during arguments to resolve conflicts in a constructive way.
Guy must never shout and instead say, “I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this."
Guy must devote time to sex sessions and not use sex as a stick to beat one another.
They couldn't beat each other with their sex sticks?! No wonder Vadge always looks like she has blue balls. All she needed to do was to beat Guy with her "sex stick." And trust me, she has one of those. It's just usually stuck up her ass.
I totally believe Vadge has contracts and rules for everything. The hulk-lady is crazy. She probably even schedules her bowel movements down to the second. If one of her butt nuggets is even a millisecond late, she yells at her asshole and writes up her intestines.
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Is she a relative of Stalin? There are evident dictator`s features. I really think that this woman is strongly sick, psychologically.
love him. Saw he has millions of fans on
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How come Madonna isn't pimping for Obama? Madonna/Obama has a nice ring to it. She was the original rock the vote chick on MTV. Bitch isn't even trying to be cool anymore.
Yeah, of course madonna is controlling. She came up from no where and worked damned hard to be a singer/dancer. She wasn't the kid of someone famous. I think she is an overly disciplined woman, but that served her well.
Oh shoot, she done got him on lockdown. That guy ritchie is a hot piece and I would put him all over my cereal, yum
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Oh my goodness!, oh my goodness!, I've got to call Loquita!
Yea I got the feeling that she was a control freak. She seems to be the one who pushed that kabbalah crap on Britney and her other celeb friends. I bet she won't even let her daughter wax her unibrow even though her daughter looks weird for not getting rid of it. Funny post.
This is the funniest thread I've read to date!! ROTLMAO!! Madonna is quite the control freak. Guy looks like he's crying out for help in those eyes. And Madonna didn't have a prenup? KA-CHING GUY. Madonna needs to hang it up. Even Cher retired.
Y'all know what he's thinking, right?
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I am are free at last!"
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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius
Vadge is Wackadoodle dooooooooo!!! LOL!! Guy is too for ever agreeing to all that shit.
I wanna see Madonna and Brogan in a cage match.
Sunday Sunday SUNDAY! LADYMEN ON THE MAT!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
guy must leave his bells at the door.
>._.<
Frau Blücher: Some varm milk... perhaps?
CONGRATS TO THE PHILLIES!!!!!!!
I Hope that contract came with a ton of chapstick so his lips would be soft for all that ass kissing. Many friends I met on a sports dating stie ==mysportsdate.com think so too. it's the real place where hot cougars and milfs hang out with sexy young men!! My friends told me so, gonna check it out!!
I don't believe this.
Tilting her eyes lasciviously, she watched, her aged and work-worn mien evident in every hobbled step. Her man-hands hesitantly reaching out to me, she shuffled yet closer, and closer still, the slick lycra of her leotard making the most peculiar and arousing whisper of sound as the delicious friction between her taught, middle-aged thighs erupted in auditory delight. totally agree with u, i think the sports fans at sportinglove.com will be more interested in ur comment in the future. lololol
Blah, blah, Madonna, blah...
YAY PHILLIES!!!!!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
All these rules Guy allegedly had to follow. Were there also rules Madge had to follow?
Hopefully one was "Madge will not treat Guy like a member of her staff".
The look of "stunned into submission" in Guy's eyes says it all.
Methinks Vadge used a sex taser instead of traditional sex stick.
Zzzzz.
"It's too much to process."--MK
"Written in blood from his ripped out nutsack." I bet.
I have an allergy to controlling people, and this post made me sneeze/retch/itch uncontrollably.
Enjoy your freedom, Guy, if you can remember how to have a good time.
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Madonna stands to lose a whole bunch of money in this, and if that happens, I doubt you'll feel sorry for her.
None of us knows what their marriage was really like. We don't know what happened behind closed doors and we don't know how Guy treated her. Remember, the contract was written before the marriage even happened-- since Kabbalah is an offshoot of Judaism, and traditional Jewish marriages include a contract outlining the husband's obligations, it's nothing out of the ordinary.
I'm sure none of you just wish you had money like her. Couldn't be...
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Totally believe it! I'm laughing my ass off!!!!! She is the biggest crazy-megalomaniac-narcissistic bitch I've ever seen.
i know i am an extremely biased madonna fan, but this sounds a little crazy even for her. i don't know if i believe it.
sad.
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Nothing Else Matters.....
EDGAR APOLLO
http://edgarapollo.blogspot.com
oh
what a beautiful woman!...Can you possibly make sex sound more unattractive than describing it as "sex sessions"? You can also discuss this on ***** muslimmarrying.com *****
I don't care what people say, Madge is WAY better looking than Guy, and richer!
haha, I would love to hear the kind of shit Guy called Madge. the words "old" and "hag" come to mind.
Can you possibly make sex sound more unattractive than describing it as "sex sessions"? I don't think so. It's funny because Mad Madge was all about the crazy sex image, but in reality she schedules it in when she isn't working out.
As for Guy putting up with this, I honestly wonder if when they got married, he thought, "Nah, this is too insane. She's just insecure and she'll never actually expect any of this shit." And I think he wanted an old-fashioned nuclear family for his kid.
Either that, or she got him soused on Kabbalah water and wouldn't let him use the toilet until he signed the dotted line.
As for the sex stick, you know she has a bunch. She whacks him with it when she can't find the riding crop.
Madonna Rule 745: Guy may not describe the positive qualities of any female, living or dead, and of any species.
Madonna rule 357: During sex sessions, Guy is required to fake orgasms if he can't manage a real one. Lack of performance will be punished.
Madonna rule 405: During sex sessions, Guy will keep a stopwatch in hand so that Madonna will know whenthe session should be over, so she can get back to her tread mill.
Madonna rule 462: Guy will not smuggle depilatories to Lourdes, under pain of Kabbalah couples therapy.
Madonna rule 568: Guy will sabotage his own movies if MMadonna has one coming up.
Madonna rule 466: During sex sessions, Guy is required to regularly scream, "Oh Esther, it's sooooo biiiig! Be gentle with me!"
Madonna Rule 457: Guy will not eat or drink anything that he actually enjoys. This will be punishable by four hours of watching Madonna's arm veins flex.
Madonna rule 1032: Guy will never refer to images of "Lord of the Rings'" Gollum as "my wife's twin."
Madonna Rule 102: Guy will be permitted exactly six minutes a year with his bronzed balls, so long as he does not touch them.
Madonna Rule 467: Guy will jettison his currently personality with each concurrent Madonna album, so he will match the rest of her new persona. Penalty for failing is beingtied up with Kabbalah strings.
Madonna rule 666: During sex sessions, Guy will regularly exclaim such compliments as, "Wow, are you Megan Fox's hotter sister?" and "You can't possibly be out of your teens! You look barely legal!" Spontaneity and sincerity required, on pain of Madonna buttraping him.
Was Madonna even into that spooky Kabbalah stuff when they got married?
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Dick happens! - MK
its honestly amazing how long he's even put up with her ass
wat a crazy bitch!!
I have no sympathy for anyone stupid enough to marry her in the first place.
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R.I.P. Rupert!
He looks like a scared little boy in that picture. He should be glad he is set free from the contract!! God Almighty!! LOL!
and with all these rules he lasted 8 years? what a pussy
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Triscuit - hell ya - but I live in Boston too so I want a 04 rerun! lol
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Vadge is one psycho bitch.I am glad Guy can finally get a normal chick and get fucked proper.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on October 29, 2008 - 11:54pm.
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It is about fucking time!!
NOW,let's go EAGLES!!!!!!!
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Benji Madden effed my cat,Miss Kitty.
Submitted by Triscuit on October 29, 2008 - 11:54pm.
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Well you can do that - you're in Jersey, not under my window! LOL, I wouldn't care that they're celebrating even though I could care less about sports...it's the fact that they're being extremely obnoxious and doing it in my vicinity.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
Am I imagining things, or is Vadge starting to look like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
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If my blood were chocolate, bet your ass I'd be a cutter.
IG! Don't disrespect! That's ancient dust from the desert that she stores in her snatch! You can buy it in the kabbalah shop, jeeze!
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Triscuit - me too, even though I live in Boston most of the time. GO PHILLIES!
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Submitted by QueenCharisma on October 29, 2008 - 11:53pm.
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Sorry.I live in South Jersey,Berlin to be exact,and we set off fireworks too!!!
♥
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Benji Madden effed my cat,Miss Kitty.
Submitted by Triscuit on October 29, 2008 - 11:49pm.
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They're getting on my nerves! They're outside my window setting off firecrackers like it's the 4th and were honking horns for an hour!
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
Submitted by islandgirl on October 29, 2008 - 11:42pm.
I decline to picture her snatch (though I did once smuggle mildly pornographic pix of her into Japan "for a friend who requested them"). I mean the divorce dust and Guy's inevitable year-long party once he moves out into his own manse.
Philly fans are IN~fucking~SANE!!!
*me being one!*
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Benji Madden effed my cat,Miss Kitty.
Guy must devote time to sex sessions and not use sex as a stick to beat one another.
I'm assuming Vadge means having sex with her.
When Guy wants sex his bow tie spins really fast.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Sheeps, that could take awhile. Because her snatch is a bit dusty, no? I'm picturing cobwebs.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Hey IG! I'd stay away from That Guy till the dust settles.
Maybe it's the booze talking, but I would do that in a heart beat. Guy I mean.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
I Hope that contract came with a ton of chapstick so his lips would be soft for all that ass kissing.
James - I heard the new about Brad, trouble in paradise or are you talking to the press on the DL?
;P
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She's such a nasty fuckpig. I hope he runs away with her money and she cries her fucking Kabalah tears.
Alex Rodriguez has no idea what a slimey vadge he's putting his hang low in.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on October 29, 2008 - 11:05pm.
SmOOches gorgeous!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James Haven, long time no see. I need the Nov catalog.
Go Phillies. Glad to be in my hometown to have seen this.
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Submitted by Aunt Bea on October 29, 2008 - 10:53pm.
SmOOches Aunt Bea
Madonna has been after James Haven for years but James Haven doesn't like his women more muscular then he is!
Sweet dreams Bitches!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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