The World's Fattest Man Got Married!
Manuel Uribe gained another 100+ pounds in Mexico yesterday after marrying his 38-year-old girlfriend Claudia Solis!!
Manuel, who hasn't left his bed in 6 years, was carried to his wedding on a flatbed truck. His custom-made bed was decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows. Patrol cars escorted him and the flatbed truck to the banquet hall. I'm jealous. I want to be carried everywhere on my bed. He's like Cleofatra being carried through the streets of Mexico, waving to his subjects (aka the taco stand and McDonalds).
After they were declared husband and wife, Manuel broke into tears and all the 400 guests almost drowned. When the hall was dried out, Manuel and Claudia shared the traditional first dance by holding hands and swaying to the music.
The reception featured a spread of meat, buttered vegetables and a five-tier wedding cake. That was just for Manuel, the other guests ate burritos and rice. No! Manuel's doctors were on hand to make sure he didn't devour everything in sight. Manuel had to save his appetite so that he could eat his new wife later. You know he pours hot sauce on her chocha, sprinkles cheese on the top and wraps it in a burrito.
Manuel, who weighed 1,230 at his heaviest in 2006, told the reporters while leaving the hall, "I have a wife and will form a new family and live a happy life!"
Congratulations to Manuel and his ultimate chubby chaser wife, Claudia! I just hope Manuel has a prenup, because you know that bitch Claudia is after his Gansitos collection. Food digger!
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JeffreyDahmer:
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Asshole.
Submitted by Salem13 on October 27, 2008 - 12:00pm.
Weird, I thought he died? Anyway congrats....
....the other fat dude who lived in Mexico not too far away from this guy died a sew weeks ago.
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A Pimp Named Slickback will put a lot of things over a hoe: Money over a hoe? Always. Brand new gators over a hoe? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich wit just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no.
He'd be a pretty good looking guy if he lost all that weight - he has a nice smile and a nice face. He's just super fat.
Just a quick FYI:
His weight problems got severe after botched lipo here in the states. And those delicious Doritos
He has lost 550 pounds, or 6 actress/models.
He is her second husband. Her first died of a heart attack due to obesity.
He claims that they have sex normally and that his parts are fully functional. Don't take a genius to know hes a bottom until he looses another 400 or so.
Nothing like wedding "pound" cake...
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
Manuel claims he's only "thick" and that he still wears a men's large in wedding tuxedoes.
Wife is on TOP!
This is so sad...I'm still single!
OMG 1230?!?!?!?!
I didn't even know people could get that big.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
He totally should've shelled out for the stretch flatbed truck, with the full bar and big tv.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
How these people fuck?
Submitted by remingtonh on October 27, 2008 - 9:35am.
LOOOOOL.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
LOL this is just too hilarious! Kinda unintentionally funny !! being hauled like that on the highway off to his wedding is just CLASSIC! and LOL @ "his GANSITOS collection!" those are the BOMB!
riding around in a flatbed truck is fucking ridiculous and humiliating... its amazing how low fame whores will go to get attention
Submitted by angel_i on October 27, 2008 - 10:17am.
Submitted by luscious_t on October 27, 2008 - 10:10am.
geez louise - there's really someome out there for everyone... but me, apparently
ugh!
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And me. UGH!
Look at that, tho - you're not even alone in being alone!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
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And me too! But I'm fussy...I like men who don't need a flatbed truck to be transported. I know, I'm such a snob.
You know there's a life insurance policy in her purse, waiting for his signature!
What a crock pot full of twinkie schmega. Unless they are both independently wealthy, one must wonder how much they charged to be photographed! This crap gives new meaning to "a whole butt load".
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Happy Halloweeny
Weird, I thought he died? Anyway congrats....
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Go Phillies!
Low Standards, your patron saint has arrived.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I think the shit head morons who fed this beast for years are the ones who should be freaking in jail. Just think about how much food a day this creature had to be given. Shame on everyone involved with this tard!!!
I had a gastric bypass patient who weighed 400 pounds. I thought that was bad...
I love the Gansitos reference! You've made my day Michael K!!
"The confederate flag is a red flag." -my friend Sharise
DANG! I know his balls must STANK!
How does he ever wash them? HOW?!?
I can't believe there will ever be sexy time between these two. Unless his tongue is the most fit thing on his body.
I love chubs, but NEVERRRRR this!
^^^
EAT SHIT AND LIVE!
LoLo
don't call the county, but I'm behind a bit in my black tax, ssshhhh.
Stoney, more to the point, imagine the COST of the coffin that's going to be big enough, what are normal ones going for, two, three grand?
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
I wonder what kind of life insurance that bitch has on that whale?
Morning, sluts!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
LOL.. Gansito for HS!
_Submitted by christine the hoff on October 27, 2008 - 10:40am.
Submitted by LoLo on October 27, 2008 - 10:32am.
on what planet do we find these mens??
I dunno! But if I ever did crap myself or if you crapped yourself we may not be around to clean the shit stains out in person, but we would still have eachother.
I guess we dont have to worry about that since have clean sock slots and paid our ass tax in full!
Morning Mrs. Gossling!
haha ha ha
Morning slutterly sluttin slut-a-roos!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on October 27, 2008 - 10:32am.
on what planet do we find these mens??
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by LoLo on October 27, 2008 - 10:02am.
You know what?
Im sorry but...
Uh uh oh no uh uh.
Just no. I mean how....
WHAT eva.
I dont even know how they would even....
UH UH! No. Im sorry no.
*****Hahahahaha that was my exact reaction!!
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♥ It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy♥
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 27, 2008 - 10:30am.
Submitted by Sheeps on October 27, 2008 - 10:26am.
my standing rule is if your stomach sticks out further than your cock, forget it.
but that's just me.
actually, I'm single by choice. I get laid and I don't have to clean the shitstains out of his underwear or watch baseball and ball scratching.
OH girl you know its true love when you find yourself a man that will scratch your titts for you whil enot watching baseball and then HE cleans the shit stains out of YOUR panties! Thats love right there now!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
JoMama on October 27, 2008 - 10:29am.
Thinking about how they, uh, consummate the marriage makes me want to vomit. Violently.
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Don't do it to yourself!!!!
*argh*
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 27, 2008 - 10:30am.
I get laid and I don't have to clean the shitstains out of his underwear or watch baseball and ball scratching.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sounds good.
Submitted by Sheeps on October 27, 2008 - 10:26am.
my standing rule is if your stomach sticks out further than your cock, forget it.
but that's just me.
actually, I'm single by choice. I get laid and I don't have to clean the shitstains out of his underwear or watch baseball and ball scratching.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Thinking about how they, uh, consummate the marriage makes me want to vomit. Violently.
Oh and "Cleofatra" makes me cry with laughter. BWAH!!!!!
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"You're gonna marry your brother whether you like it or not." Mama Bear on "My Big Redneck Wedding"
A little fug in the mug area is workable...
You know......
BUT just my personal pref...i could NEVA...
Ummmmmm
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 27, 2008 - 10:21am.
Hey CTH!! Mornin'. Maybe we just need to search for someone outside our weight class?
Jesus, she should have offered him an ultimatum-get your fat ass out of bed and I'll marry you! Now he has no reason to lose weight since his wife will be waiting on him hand and foot. This is awful!
Instead of throwing rice, did they throw Xantrax at him?
Maybe some Viagra so his bride could find his peen?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
sheeps you funny slut.
yeah but we're alone cause it's better than being mated to a whale for christ's sweet sake.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not the Gansito collection!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna ahve some Cheetos and a frapp. I think Britney may have actually figured life out after all. Dead little boy and a married human whale - I hate Mondays.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by luscious_t on October 27, 2008 - 10:10am.
geez louise - there's really someome out there for everyone... but me, apparently
ugh!
***************************
And me. UGH!
Look at that, tho - you're not even alone in being alone!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
geez louise - there's really someome out there for everyone... but me, apparently
ugh!
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
er
no
thanks
ishk!
The only sour note in the entire wedding was when the bride went to toss the bouquet and discovered her new husband had eaten it.
You know what?
Im sorry but...
Uh uh oh no uh uh.
Just no. I mean how....
WHAT eva.
I dont even know how they would even....
UH UH! No. Im sorry no.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
she's been married a week and still attempting to get laid I bet.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
good for them
"He has no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no triglycerides, and no diabetes. Simply put, he's a healthy man who is just, well, overweight."
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Wow!
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. ~Homer Simpson
Lmao i dont know if this story makes me happy, sad, or if its just plain hilarious!!!
And lol sheeps thats a random piece of trivia
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♥ It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy♥