Bitch, Put Those Things Away!
I've never been one of those whores who dry heave at the sight of bare feet, but I know some skanks who do. I knew some broad who in high school who would seriously start gagging every time she saw a completely bare foot. She could handle if it was in a flip flop, but not if it was just hanging out naked by itself. This bitch had a bad case of foot phobia. She couldn't even fuck a dude unless he wore socks! I asked her once, "Well, would you ever let a dude toe fuck you in the vag?" I thought the ho was going to shower herself with her own vom just to wash away the image of a big toe going into her cooze.
It's a good thing she wasn't at the Carouse of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last night, because Lara Flynn Boyle kicked off her heels and walked the red carpet like she was fucking Joss Stone. Yeah, her shoes were probably bothering her hooves, but still. Have some consideration for the bitches around you who might suffer from severe foot phobia! I'm surprised Lara even has feeling in her feet, seeing as though she doesn't have feeling in her face. THAT FACE! She used to be the sexiest chick on TV and now she looks like hard silly putty.
Last night's Carousel of Hope Ball looked like "show off your new face night" at the fucking retirement village. There were enough wigs there to keep a tribe of performing drag queens going for years to come! Below are some of my favorite memaws from the night. Don't feel bad if you don't know any of these memaws and pepaws' names, because they probably don't know either.
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And not one moving forehead!
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"With every 5th Valtrex refill, you get your very own Vh1 reality show!" -MK
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Lara Flynn Boyle was so cute. This is what happens when people fuck with their faces. She should NOT be looking like that at 38! Just let it be, yall.
...mad at this, "I know you weren't born when I did what I did and I know that I was an inspiration to you and I take that as a complete compliment." Mark Spitz
Oh, and Bitches is dumb!
did rachel welch make a deal with the devil? how the fuck is her neck and decolletage managing to hold back the clock this much?
wow.
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
Oh Donna Hayward!! No. (I'm referring to her face, not her little piggies).
Is Geena Davis wearing satin thigh-high boots?
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Anyone watching the Eagles game?
That muther fucker just got STUCK!
Gosh Damn!
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“Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as ravens claws.” Jim Morrison
"The future is uncertain,the end is always near." Jim Morrison
wow talk about a trip down memory lane!!
Donna Mills need to get her eyes checked - her makeup used to be flawless!! It still is, but it doesn't match her neck, chest or arms at all.
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on October 26, 2008 - 2:20pm.
I can never understand why people have such strong reactions to feet. A friend of mine knows a girl that thought feet should be considered private parts like peens and vadges. I know people that think feet are disgusting and people that get boners just by looking at painted toenails.
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It's weird what some people consider personal. I was briefly married to this guy in my early twenties, and his family would use the bathroom in front of each other. If he was constipated, his mother would even hold his hands to help him strain, and vice versa. It was super weird. But they considered brushing your teeth very personal and they would be very embarassed if you walked in on them when they were brushing their teeth.
I also have a bit of a feet phobia and because of that one friend of mine used to get off on rubbing her fucking feet on my pillow. Damn that used to freak me out...
Bahahaha Dr. Funk! I'll get in my clown car and be right ovah!
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I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. ~Homer Simpson
those are the grotiest feets i've ever seen. its hammer time!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on October 26, 2008 - 3:08pm.
Liquid Paper teeth!? LMAO! They buy the economy size at fucking factory/warehouse prices!
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Costco is a wonderful place.
I've heard someone-someone has been lurking thru the fabric softener aisle with 4 gallons of liquid Downey, but you wouldn't know nothing about that, would you?
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I became insane with long intervals of terrible sanity...- Edgar Allan Poe.
Submitted by MtlMama on October 26, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Nothing like Liquid Paper teeth and a waxy face, eh?
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Liquid Paper teeth!? LMAO! They buy the economy size at fucking factory/warehouse prices!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
@DEE DEE:
Awwww...it's okay baby.Just know that you're not a carnival freak...YOU'RE A FULL BLOWN CIRCUS FREAK.
That counts for something around here.If we were lovers I would sooo suck on that elongated mishap of a toe that you are sooo conscious of.Feel better?;->
Ok, Looks like LFB caught on her toes what Nicholson has for fingers. Who knew it was sexually transmitted get all knarled up and twisted. Must be syphllis.
Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
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Team Cloris. Vote Bitches!
Yeah Renny Harlin was some wild man coke fiend. Literally insane. Guess they had good times but their relationship crashed and burned almost as fast as his career. Whoa. And I think Cut Throat Island was the Waterworld (epic fail) of the day, haha.
LFB could open cans with those toenails of hers.
"Mickey probably told Miley, 'Billy Ray ain't your father. I AM! I'm your daddy! I say when this game is over! Now go shake that ass and bring home the cheese!'" -MK, 22-09-08
wtf? the oldsters at the retirement home across the street are far more glamorous... and entertaining.
I need some Cheetoling. *sigh* can't we go back to the Cheeto Report days? staring at memaw's feetses is not my idea for sunday entertaining...
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I became insane with long intervals of terrible sanity...- Edgar Allan Poe.
Yeah I have a longer index toe too.. I hate it. My mom tried to make me feel better 'Oh, that's known as 'the royal toe' some myth it's something found in royalty. Riiiiight. Sorry mom, we ain't royalty. Thanks for trying to make me feel less freaky though.
Submitted by putas on October 26, 2008 - 2:57pm.
Oh that's funny. Maybe she had botox that made her expressions um..off? haha. I swear I would have gone off had I seen her. Maybe asked her how jeff Goldblum or Renny Harlin was doing , HAHA. Meow.
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OMG I remember how high her cheese factor went up when she was with Renny Harlin. Remember "Cutthroat Island"? Neither do I!
@ Dr. Funk
I have the wonky long toe you speak of. It's not slightly longer, it's freaky longer. *hanging my head in shame*
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I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. ~Homer Simpson
Ok, seriously, they have the WORST false teeth. The whole lot of 'em.
Oh that's funny. Maybe she had botox that made her expressions um..off? haha. I swear I would have gone off had I seen her. Maybe asked her how jeff Goldblum or Renny Harlin was doing , HAHA. Meow.
Diane Cannon's wearing those freaky toe-out hose, and you can see the damned seam line. Raquel Welch looks awful...hell, they all do. Nothing like Liquid Paper teeth and a waxy face, eh?
Occasionally-you see an index toe that's longer than the big toe.(that's me) LFB's ring toe is longer than her other toes.I've never seen that before.Wonder what her vertical leap is like.(?)
Ya know Boomsy that WOULD be a serious consideration. The plot in that Nip/Tuck never covered it. Would they treat it with electrolysis then afterwards? AGHGH!!! The imagery. I have no idea if they could or would try that in real life but oh my. *Shudders*
Putas, you are a sweetheart, if not a tad blind. But thank you. :)
It was in Westwood (CA) and I was walking down some steps out of my building and I happened to look up and there she was, walking the opposite direction and she just shot me this look like, DIE BITCH. Maybe she just wasn't feeling well.
Suzanne Somers has the same problem she always had. She's a straightup butterface. Her body always looks hot - and her face...um...not.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Jeez, put it away--alla yahs.
Yikes, they all look awful, waxy and overdone.
wow, night of where are they now? (are here) :\
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.chocolate news. wednesdays. comedy central.
Submitted by eszter on October 26, 2008 - 2:31pm.
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I had a girlfriend tell me that my yoga classes were really a form of worshipping Satan. Bwhahahahaha. Needless to say, we're no longer friends. I have no patience for st00pid.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Submitted by putas on October 26, 2008 - 2:45pm
Eww, seriously? That IS kinda nasty...couldn't they grow pubes if that was the case? *Shudder*
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Bo Derek is absolutely stunning!
Raquel is a close second.
Lara Flynn Boyle would look ok if it wasn´t for those damn lips. Angelina´s extreme lips have caused a really fucked up trend in Hollywood.
Ew, I hate feet! Those are the grossest, monkey-est looking things on the human body. I've always hated feet. The other little kids and my younger brothers always knew how to chase me off because they'd try to touch me with their feet.
Aphid- I have seen pictures (your avies) up here. Let's be REAL here- some women are catty when it comes to attractive women. She probably saw you (obvs. younger than her too) and responded in kind. Competition, dear:)
Where the heck did you see her? Please tell me you shot her a look too? haha
I'd fuck every chick in these photos...If this was 1979.
Gina Davis surely had some work done but it was either minimal or tastefully done (maybe both)?
She has good bone structure which is more than half the battle so that's probably why she needed so little.
How is hot ass Antonio married to Melanie? HOW ? Golden vagina says what?
And looking at LFB I keep thinking of that Nip/Tuck where a woman had her pussy lips grafter on to her face (her lips were burned) and she had the docs lie to her husband about it b/c he was Sicilian and he wouldn't kiss her pussy lips b/c that's not manly or something. Too fucking funny. The top lip = labia on the loose.
Clean feet don't bother me but those feet are NASTY. She looks like she has that fungus on every toenail.
Geena Davis gave me a really dirty look once. Still not sure why.
PSL and Dee♥ Sorry! I have a carpet crawler over right now. Half here.
Yes, to both accounts. She'da got more than an ass beating if it were either my Viggo or Vampire Bill, to be sure!!
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Christ - Lara has had a head transplant!
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 26, 2008 - 2:25pm.
I'm with you, they all look frozen. next to the peas and spinach in boxes.
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*scratching little sock monkey head* Kinda wonder if I could sneak up on one of them and flick a BIC lighter and see if they'd run screaming cause they'd be afraid they'd fucking melt if the heat got too close. Hmmmmm...road trip!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Doesn't Janine have a dry eye problem? Does botox cause dry eye?
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I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. ~Homer Simpson
Oh, and Raquel blows all these bitches away, she is just fawkin beautiful.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
LOL! It WAS show your newface night! haha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Submitted by FilthyBitch on October 26, 2008 - 2:32pm.
Jebus she's got some busted Flinstone feet
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You gotta problem with Fred Flintstone feet?? Huh, huh? WHAT?! They're good for balance!
*runs away on Flintstone feet*
Boohoohoohoohooohoohoohoo!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Jebus she's got some busted Flinstone feet
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
janine "what a fabulous opportunity to spend a half hour stretching and toning your body AND worshipping jesus christ at the same time" turner
well, at least here she's not blond...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpcYPiE6A1s
I think feet are kinda gross, too...certainly don't want anyone touching me with theirs. I remember going to an amusement park with a bunch of people and one of the girls wore flip flops but had one long,thick,nasty big toenail that was black which I referred to as the 'griffin claw'. Had nightmares for days from that one...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Nitty, now you'd just beat her ass for sleeping with Viggo or Vampire Bill!
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It's ok, it's alright, I got something that you gonna like...
-Timbaland
(who is pretty awesome live!)