Bitch, Put Those Things Away!
I've never been one of those whores who dry heave at the sight of bare feet, but I know some skanks who do. I knew some broad who in high school who would seriously start gagging every time she saw a completely bare foot. She could handle if it was in a flip flop, but not if it was just hanging out naked by itself. This bitch had a bad case of foot phobia. She couldn't even fuck a dude unless he wore socks! I asked her once, "Well, would you ever let a dude toe fuck you in the vag?" I thought the ho was going to shower herself with her own vom just to wash away the image of a big toe going into her cooze.
It's a good thing she wasn't at the Carouse of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last night, because Lara Flynn Boyle kicked off her heels and walked the red carpet like she was fucking Joss Stone. Yeah, her shoes were probably bothering her hooves, but still. Have some consideration for the bitches around you who might suffer from severe foot phobia! I'm surprised Lara even has feeling in her feet, seeing as though she doesn't have feeling in her face. THAT FACE! She used to be the sexiest chick on TV and now she looks like hard silly putty.
Last night's Carousel of Hope Ball looked like "show off your new face night" at the fucking retirement village. There were enough wigs there to keep a tribe of performing drag queens going for years to come! Below are some of my favorite memaws from the night. Don't feel bad if you don't know any of these memaws and pepaws' names, because they probably don't know either.
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Pearl and dot - have you seen the movie 'world's fastest indian' with anthony hopkins? there's one scene where he can't put on his dress shoes so get's a sander/grinder tool and shaves down his toenails.
i wonder if that man can even wear shoes! he must not go into court at all.
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
WTF? Is this a bad plastic surgery support group reunion?
aww geena davis. she ages very well! very pretty.
If a woman is going to show off her feet, spring for a pedicure. It's not like Lara Flynn "I'm famous for fucking Jack Nicholson" Boyle doesn't have a couple of bucks for a pedicure.
Or wear shoes that cover that nastiness, or are (dare I say) COMFORTABLE.
That's why she kicked the shoes off. Stupid bitch chose a fabulous, expensive pair of shoes, and they were killing her feet. Idiot.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 5:21pm.
EEEEEEEEWW BARFGAG!! see THAT's why it takes me an the bf longer and longer to get around to see a movie at the theater! Still owe him for putting up with these gum-smacking, fishy-smelling gaggle o' sorority sisters who sat behind us for the SATC movie -- yes, not ashamed to say I LOOOOOVE SATC like a Trekkie likes his Spock!
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Mmmmmmmm. Spock!
Never got into SATC... My hub calls them "Sluts in the City" (so original). lol
I'm a notorious 'movie-ruiner'...I'm one of those asses that giggle during the really serious/emotional parts. Go ahead...give me a thwack. I deserve it.
ooooo loveloveLOVE Joan Collins' dress, oh yeah -- she's probably 110 percent plastic and experimental fiberglass tissues and such by now, but she's looking more alive than the other chicks in a back-from-the-dead-and-loving-it sort of way. She looks like she's still fucking that penis she's with till it bends backwards and loving it, good on her ;D
Sooooo MK, how's about another post...sick of looking at those feet.
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Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
Check out Suzanne's eyes - bitch looks stoooooned.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Melanie's face is looking a lot better. She must have a new surgeon or derm or something.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 5:13pm.
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EEEEEEEEWW BARFGAG!! see THAT's why it takes me an the bf longer and longer to get around to see a movie at the theater! Still owe him for putting up with these gum-smacking, fishy-smelling gaggle o' sorority sisters who sat behind us for the SATC movie -- yes, not ashamed to say I LOOOOOVE SATC like a Trekkie likes his Spock!
Submitted by Regina on October 26, 2008 - 5:13pm.
What the hell is this shit? The Plastic Surgery Parade?
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Step right up and pick your parts! We've got neck, teetas, bootay, ear lifts, eye lifts, face lifts, lip injections, cheek implants, calf implants and in the not too soon future... BRAIN implants! -But, until then...you'll just have to fancy yer purdy self with silicone and lost youth.
I..I..dont know where to start on these women faces/ surgeries. sure feels like Halloweeeeeen time.
Worse than a horror flick.
Coma Caca!!
I don't care about being barefoot - but damn, couldn't she have gotten a pedi or something? Those toenails! damn...
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
oh btw re skin: TRUE TRUE TRUE! An ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure; just check out Geena Davis's skin vs. Donna Mills and the other prematurely fried-skinned women there. Yes, Geena's FACE is a botoxic nightmare BUT she is fairer than even Donna Mills and her skin is not crinkly or spotted. She's done a great job keeping her porcelain skin out of harm's way at least.
* back to Aidan...
What the hell is this shit? The Plastic Surgery Parade?
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 5:05pm.
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 4:55pm.
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oh man, my tum lurched just now srsly :*
don't doubt if for 2nd tho cause I know a lawyer who has the most HORRIFIC halitosis
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OMG! HALITOSIS! lmfao! Oh gurllllll. I gotta story about halitosis! Like to hear it? Hear it go! This will be much shorter...and stinkier. Promise.
Me, hub and daughter go to the movie "Jurassic Park 2" and we are in a PACKED theatre and as the opening credits start we start smelling this hork-a-riffic stench from behind us. I mean, this stank smelled like garlic breath squared with a dumpster. We ended up walking out. People should have some common decency and eat NON-SPICEY foods if they plan on going to a fucking movie. YICKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Women of Joan Collins and Raquel Welch's age and caliber are allowed to have as much plastic surgery as they desire. Lara Flynn Boyle is too young and too nobody to do all that. On her it's ridiculous.
But I think her feet ARE pedicured. It's just a weird color nail-polish; I'm guessing pale mint green. And her feet look swollen - mine looked like that when I was 9 months pregnant.
Submitted by TITS: "...so one day i took my hot, sweaty nyloned foot out of my high heel and placed it in his palm while he was talking.
that was fun."
TITS, you are my hero(ine). That shit made me laugh. Well, all of the foot stories made me laugh.
My Costa Rican friend used to say that her longer second toe meant that she would rule over her husband. Fast-forward 25 years and they are divorcing. I think it would be rude to remind her of that now. She IS bossy, though.
Submitted by EvilShoe on October 26, 2008 - 5:06pm.
I was going to go lay out in the sun earlier, then I saw all these memaw necks. FRIGHTENING! Suzanne Sommers (sp?) neck alone makes me never want to sunbathe again! Can you say sun damaged wrinkles?
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It looks like a cute lil' leather sack! I wonder if she puts her change in there?
A note to Joan Collins, dearie your makeup isn't properly blended in. Tsk tsk. Next time please pay more attention to detail. And use a foundation that matches the rest of your skin tone.
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on October 26, 2008 - 5:03pm.
Donna Mills?
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YESSS! My lazy ass thanks you, LOVE A!
and did someone say AIDAN!!! thumby clickin time again ;)
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 5:01pm.
LOL! I know, but I meant the OTHER Knots Landing blond - GOD why does her name escape me
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ACK! The "eyes have it" author for eye make-up technigues. DOY! My brain ain't functioning on all cylinders today.
DONNA MILLS. *slaps self*
I was going to go lay out in the sun earlier, then I saw all these memaw necks. FRIGHTENING! Suzanne Sommers (sp?) neck alone makes me never want to sunbathe again! Can you say sun damaged wrinkles?
I thought Gena Davis was married to a plastic surgeon, has he been practicing her? Damn shes scary!
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Dick happens! - MK
Racquel is still one HWAT memaw. Meh to all the others.
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Proof that Phoebe Price is over 35.
She's running for US President!!!
http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Phoebe&last=Price
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 4:55pm.
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oh man, my tum lurched just now srsly :*
don't doubt if for 2nd tho cause I know a lawyer who has the most HORRIFIC halitosis -- it's like pure caca that's been sitting unflushed for days -- OK, I'll stop ugh, anyway turns out he makes his own "mouth wash" from generic vodka, mint leaves, and some other thing according to his paralegal, UGH, nevermind this convo doesn't go well with monthly rag times LOL! and BARF.
OHMAHGAH IT'S AIDAN! I didn't even see him before. Make for sexy times in box of girlself times.
Donna Mills?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Geena Davis was hot in A League of Their Own. Mrs. Antonio Banderas (wtf's her name again) has never been hot. Just bluech.
Wow Bo Derek looks great. I missed her the first go around. There is more plastic and botox here then Doctor 90210.
Raquel Welch looks like a wax figure with all the fake parts.
I would still do all the ladies except Gina Davis, Melanie Griffith, and Lara Flynn.
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 4:52pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 4:46pm.
Pearly, Joan Van Ark has been looking like a sideshow freak for a while now. It almost pains my eyes to look at her without squinting a lot and vaseline smudged on my eyeballs. :(
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LOL! I know, but I meant the OTHER Knots Landing blond - GOD why does her name escape me, but yeah, have a hangover from a grt party last night AND it's that time of the month, so not I'm not bothering with Google on her. "Red root" tea is fab for PMSessy hangovers btw!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 4:52pm.
@ . :
your story rocked, but eeeew snaggle yeller toenails burned in my third eye now :*
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Sorry, doll. The thing was, he had those nasty holes in his black socks already! I mean...like he NEVER cuts his nasty toenails. *Hork* This guy was a lawyer! His wife was a published writer! haha!
Thank you for having the patience to read that...my typos are embarrassing but edit shmedit. I iz lazee
I pray every day that when I get older, I never decide to f*ck with my face like this.
I know it's hardly original to say this, but they really could look much better had they not reached out for the botox ><
The exception being Melaine Griffin (sp?), whom I always found hideous looking since a very young age. The fish lips just add to the already there fuggliness.
Edit: Okay, some of them look really good and might have aged naturally, or have a really good plastic surgeon.
If I ever get their doctor's number, I might consider having some work done when the time comes :D
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My other gig
My other hangout
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 4:46pm.
Pearly, Joan Van Ark has been looking like a sideshow freak for a while now. It almost pains my eyes to look at her without squinting a lot and vaseline smudged on my eyeballs. :(
Submitted by Francine on October 26, 2008 - 4:44pm.
This is like all the plastic surgery/filler DON'Ts in one place and I'm scribbling down notes to my future self as fast as I can.
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Francine, I hear ya. -And, as the saying goes..."an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." My point being that taking good care of yourself is much better than having a surgeon try to cut/lazer/plump/peel away all of your sins.
@ . :
your story rocked, but eeeew snaggle yeller toenails burned in my third eye now :*
@ Francine:
The Ghosts of Future Plastic Don'ts have spoken, mere mortal! :)
Raquel Welch is still smoking hot. Faustian deal I suppose?
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
OHMYGODS what happened to whatsherface's face?! That blond from Knots Landing and from 21 hundred Lifetime movies?!? She was hot for like forever after that with juuust enough nip and tuck.
Her blue dress rocking tho.
This is like all the plastic surgery/filler DON'Ts in one place and I'm scribbling down notes to my future self as fast as I can.
OMFG
http://footny.com/photo7.htm
Submitted by putas on October 26, 2008 - 2:59pm.
Yeah I have a longer index toe too.. I hate it. My mom tried to make me feel better 'Oh, that's known as 'the royal toe' some myth it's something found in royalty. Riiiiight. Sorry mom, we ain't royalty. Thanks for trying to make me feel less freaky though.
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Considering all the inbreeding going on throughout royal families...maybe your mom was trying to tell you something. lol I have a hammer-toe on each foot too and when my science teacher said it was a birth defect I shrunk down in my seat and pouted. :(
OH LORD THE DENTURES!
Just noticed Raquel's nasty nose hair. Ew.
Submitted by putas on October 26, 2008 - 2:59pm.
Yeah I have a longer index toe too.. I hate it. My mom tried to make me feel better 'Oh, that's known as 'the royal toe' some myth it's something found in royalty. Riiiiight. Sorry mom, we ain't royalty. Thanks for trying to make me feel less freaky though.
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OMG you made me LMFAO, is your mom ecuadorian, because my mom would say the same shit to my sister too, omg LOL
-=meow hiss purr=-
Submitted by Bella on October 26, 2008 - 3:22pm.
I also have a bit of a feet phobia and because of that one friend of mine used to get off on rubbing her fucking feet on my pillow. Damn that used to freak me out...
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I once sat beside a cow-irker who had a habit of leaning waaaaay back in his chair and extending his arms out when he talked (italian). his hands and arms when extended always intruded on my space, so one day i took my hot, sweaty nyloned foot out of my high heel and placed it in his palm while he was talking.
that was fun.
(edited to add hot and sweaty)
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
Submitted by parissucksliterally on October 26, 2008 - 3:55pm.
as if feet aren't bad enough, LONG toenails? i hate when people have long toenails!
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PSL, I have a funny story about long toenails. Like ta hear it? Here it go!
Okay, so my hub and I are hanging out with some new friends we made purely by accident at a Blockbuster vid store of all places and we'd known this couple for a good 3-4 months and were seeing them about every weekend so we'd developed a bit of a 'comfort' level with each other enough so that we could be pretty honest about shit. Sooooo. Anyway, these people [I will call them 'Mel and Mary'] were very well educated leftover hippy types who didn't believe in bathing often (much to our nasal chagrin). So, this one Sunday we are at their house chit-chatting and whatnot and the guys want to watch football but their kids pretty much OWNED the TV (they were the type of parents that believed the kids RULED and their children called them by their names rather than "mom or dad")...
Damn. This short story is taking too long. lol
So, 'Mel' and my hub decide they are going to go to our house to watch the game on our TV and I said, "OK" but then looked down at Mel's feet and noticed he had his sandals on and my house rule is NO shoes or bare feet inside the house [quit laffin'...you don't know wtf comes in the house from where you been a walkin' lol]... So I say to Mel, "uh...could you put some socks on first because I have a no shoes/sockless feet rule?" He complies and comes back a few minutes later to show me he's wearing socks... BLACK socks with his sandals with his long, nasty assed, crusty, yellow, jagged tonails poking out. I wanted to burst out laughing so hard! Hub said Mel and him stopped at the store for chips and beer on the way home and tried to talk him out of coming in the store with him but he insisted. LMFAO!
Did I mention they had really good weed?
Well, they had to have ONE redeeming quality. Their two boys were monsters. I won't even go into that shit and spare ya'll. lol
Submitted by angel_i on October 26, 2008 - 2:33pm.
You gotta problem with Fred Flintstone feet?? Huh, huh? WHAT?! They're good for balance!
*runs away on Flintstone feet*
&&&
Let's ride with the family down the street.
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
geez first uncle bobby, then tiny talent time, then sharon lois and bram, now this!!!
oy. found a site that has all the flintstones song lyrics. wish i'd had this as a kid i could NEVER figure out all that they were saying.
http://bedrock.deadsquid.com/information/lyrics.php
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
Holy Christ! If that's not bringing back old school I don't know what is.
I think they all look great for their age and the only thing bad is that Lara Flynn's feet are absolutely gross and look like they belong to a fat 75 year old woman!!!!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Nice hooves.
Mme Tits, I was thinking the saming fucking thing about Raquel...holy shit her neck and dec. are fricking amazingly well preserved (her face doesn't look like a carnival show either for that matter) and then if you compare her's to Suzanne's...ack...that much sun is not your friend, white girl!
Geena doesn't look old but her face looks somehow off and puffy? Amazing bod.
Lara...oh gwaaaa.
I gotta take a breather or I'll need to start huffing Sockey's dryer sheets.
as if feet aren't bad enough, LONG toenails? i hate when people have long toenails!
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It's ok, it's alright, I got something that you gonna like...
-Timbaland
(who is pretty awesome live!)
Gena Davis and Raquel Welch look great. The others have extreme sun damage (this can't be corrected?) and bad plastic surgery. The younger women-- Melanie Griffith, Laura Boyle generally look worse than the older gals!