Bitch, Put Those Things Away!
I've never been one of those whores who dry heave at the sight of bare feet, but I know some skanks who do. I knew some broad who in high school who would seriously start gagging every time she saw a completely bare foot. She could handle if it was in a flip flop, but not if it was just hanging out naked by itself. This bitch had a bad case of foot phobia. She couldn't even fuck a dude unless he wore socks! I asked her once, "Well, would you ever let a dude toe fuck you in the vag?" I thought the ho was going to shower herself with her own vom just to wash away the image of a big toe going into her cooze.
It's a good thing she wasn't at the Carouse of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last night, because Lara Flynn Boyle kicked off her heels and walked the red carpet like she was fucking Joss Stone. Yeah, her shoes were probably bothering her hooves, but still. Have some consideration for the bitches around you who might suffer from severe foot phobia! I'm surprised Lara even has feeling in her feet, seeing as though she doesn't have feeling in her face. THAT FACE! She used to be the sexiest chick on TV and now she looks like hard silly putty.
Last night's Carousel of Hope Ball looked like "show off your new face night" at the fucking retirement village. There were enough wigs there to keep a tribe of performing drag queens going for years to come! Below are some of my favorite memaws from the night. Don't feel bad if you don't know any of these memaws and pepaws' names, because they probably don't know either.
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Luscious and dot,
I def have no problem touching myself when I wash. And I totally enjoy a good potion and lotion when I'm in motion.
Um, gotta go be alone for a little while.
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
Submitted by putsomestankonit on October 26, 2008 - 6:32pm.
I'm going to write the bible according to St. Angelina. Its only going to be two pages long. And its going to make me mega $$$$ when I sell it to the morons at JJ. Ha ha!
Be sure to add plenty of 'artsy' b&w photos taken by your 'baby daddy'!
Haha - I guess my first example back there really didn't suport my point, but rather supports the "Americans are scared of sex and their bodies" thesis.
The babies one works, though ;)
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by putsomestankonit on October 26, 2008 - 6:27pm.
LOL, I have never gotten past the first page of my copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead because Richard Gear did the foreword.
luscious_t, I think that you're bringing up some brilliant points here. You are absolutely right when you mention the role of corporations who are trying to convince that we must have their latest lotions and potions.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
I'm going to write the bible according to St. Angelina. Its only going to be two pages long. And its going to make me mega $$$$ when I sell it to the morons at JJ. Ha ha!
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
Eastern religions was the best class I've ever taken - undergrad or grad level. It's more relevant now than ever, too. SO glad I took it!
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by Leona on October 26, 2008 - 6:24pm.
Leona, I'm writing my own bible it's 500 pages of blank sammiched between 20,000 pages of prologue and epololgue. Any takers? I probably should shelf it but the Holy Ghostest of the Mostest keeps telling me to write it and shit.
@Ziggy: MWAH. I kiss you.
I like to study world religions, too. I get crazy when friends who live in McMansions claim to be Buddhists. I'm all, if you're a true, pure practicing Buddhist you'd be homeless, dude.
The best religions out there IMO are the ones that force us to confront our selfishness.
I like that Jesus saved his harshest criticism for the religious right of his day, and went and partied with nasty skeezers (people like me).
Buddha was down with treating people with gentleness, as was Ghandi, and I can get behind that.
That said, I'm hoping not to get reincarnated as LFB's feet.
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 6:19pm.
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We go beyond health, though - especially in the States. For example, bath/shower gels would not move here in the States. The marketing gurus discovered it was tied to Americans not wanting to directly touch themselves when washing. So, in the mid-90s they began giving away "poofs" with gels - and they took off. Now, we pay for both poofs and gels. God bless capitalism.
How many of our babies are bathed daily+? This is not necessary - as a matter of fact, it puts them at risk, as they need some exposure to dirt and germs to build up their immune systems. But fiscally, it works, as then we need to use lotions etc. so the skin doesn't dry out. Buy buy buy~
But then, I love a pedi, yet am poor, far from narcissistic and douby how much I'm "worth it." I simply can't stand having craggly nails and dead skin. lol
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
So when the chick that does my mani/pedi gives me a dirty look and snaps her gum like filing my toe claws is a big waste of her time I should tell her that she is really placing herself in the position of humility of Christ and she should just be peaceful about it?
Great! I'd been looking for a way to tell her she chose that job not me but it sounds so much better how you said it!
Have a purpose in life--be a bad example
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 5:48pm.
Mme Tits, I love Anthony H. but I'm pretty sure I've never seen that movie?! I solly. :(
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it's a really nice heartwarming movie. no violence or sex. set in new zealand and utah. i went to see it 3 times in the theatre AND bought the dvd.
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
Oh I read the Satantic Bible, but there wasn't anything about feet in it.
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
I have the agnostic bible, just haven't read it yet. Its big...
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
Submitted by Parker on October 26, 2008 - 6:19pm.
Parker? Was it you who used to have "waffle man" as your avatar (from "good eats")? Good to see you! :D
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The women of Park Face Avenue could easily frighten an adult child.
Submitted by .
Submitted by luscious_t
My friend Hot Tea said it best when she told me,
I like my filthy CLEAN."
We were talking about would we get with Criss Angel, and I said he looked dirty, but sometimes filthy boys can teach you a few things, and she said no, dirty is nast.
Then she spouted out that little gem.
"I like my filthy CLEAN."
*goes off to wash hands*
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Leona, I couldn't agree more!
Many people refuse to read any text with a religious affiliation because they themselves are not religious - more fool them!
I don't consider myself to be religious at all, but I love studying the world's religions. In today's climate, it's more important than every to understand where we all came from and where our beliefs and cultures are taking us. I can't help but grind my teeth together when people who boast to never having picked up a Bible launch into headache-inducing diatribes!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Is Geena the only one who hasn't fucked up her face and is aging not so badly? I agree that Raquel looks pretty good, though, besides the excessive makeup-- at least she looks like a human being. The rest of them... YIKES!
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.
Submitted by luscious_t on October 26, 2008 - 5:59pm.
Or maybe it has more to do with the continued absession with cleanliness in the West.
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Would it be wrong of me to mention that some cultures still wipe their asses with their left hand?
Would it be wrong of me to mention that people in third world countries shit in man-dug troughs?
Would it be wrong of me to say I'm thankful every day for running water, a working toilet and when I get the rare luxury of going out for dinner that my food was washed by people with clean hands?
Sorry but [OCD aside] cleanliness is an operative NECESSITY in about every thing you can think of. -But, we also need germs to innoculate us when we are young. Children who grow up without a smudge of dirt once in a while are victims of their lack of immunity later.
There is no perfect today.
Whatever Ziggy is on, I want some.
@Ziggy that's Mrs. Bouquet to you. ;)
But seriously I love your posts.
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
archeologist delight, it's the fossil collection from the Smithsonian....
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Oops I mean Racquel Welch!!!
Except for Sophia Loren, of course
Ziggy -
No prob - I appreciate the thought-provoking post. ...and it's nice to know my history degree can be of some use, even if it is only on a gossip blog that doesn't pay me. :\
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
A salute...To oldies
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Wow, its like night of the living dead out there
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on October 26, 2008 - 5:51pm.
Damnit, Zig! I come here to UNthink. ;p
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Well, to add-on [sorta-kinda?] to what you wrote...
I think taking care of your feet is a sign of truly loving yourself and having the luxury and time to do so means you are either A. Rich [and have someone else take care of your gnarly feet] B. Narcissistic no matter what your wealth C. Truly care for yourself as much as you care for others enough to take good care of the things that get you where you need to go to do such things. -And, feet might not give you an orgasm but you can come pretty damned close or better and longer with the right foot masseuse.
Feet are a lot like hands...they can show how good or hard your life has been.
I have to admit that I thought of Christ too when I thought of the bare foot but you have to imagine everyone wore sandals in Israel (socks would be impractical and sand in your socks is no fun). His bare feet nailed to the cross are probably singed in my mind forever as the symbol of humility/sacrifice/pain though.
@Ziggy--do you do mani/pedi's?
JK I liked your post. I wish more people would read the Bible for themselves and see that there is a lot of good Brie there, and that it is not the overprocessed Velveeta that the Osteens of the world are trying to gag us on.
Jussayin.
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Derek's work is pretty good, too. Or it might be the sexy times with that hot piece.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
I meant Raquel
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by luscious_t on October 26, 2008 - 5:59pm.
ARGH - you are absolutley correct!
VERY silly mistake on my part there.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Rachels is good.. I used to see her at my gym..hers is good work
xoxox
The war isn't working.
I am not surprised she cant fit those vulture claws in a pair of Louboutins... they dont come in triple claw sizes
xoxox
The war isn't working.
putsomestankonit, I would expect no less from a disciple of the Bucket Woman!
:P
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Raquel's work doesn't look so bad. Too much makeup, but that's how it goes on the red carpet.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
I heart Mrs Bucket.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Except the Achilles story came before Christ, no? So maybe it's a matter of not being able to overcome that old tradition of the West - not even thorugh Christ.
Or maybe it has more to do with the continued absession with cleanliness in the West.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
She is unrecognizable as her former self. How pathetic.
Rexo feet...brittle bones...soooooooooo gross...boy that was a horrific crowd at that thing...they all have their fright night masks on... Jesus H Christ..stop with the surgery... all of you. I saw Jessica Lange the other day at the dog park and boy did she fuck her face up that surgeon should be beaten...all the women in the dog run were stunned at how bad she looked and its such a shame she was sooooo beautiful even just last year. WHY do these people do this? Its just so bad... the necks still look old and the earlobes...even if they shoot the lobes with botox or restalyne they put in them now... the crease right next to the face from the lobe is still wobbly.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on October 26, 2008 - 5:51pm.
Once again another deep and thought provoking post.
But I still think are dirty gross and stinky and should be hidden at all cost.
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"Mrs. Bucket I love you!"
If ur hooves hurt, it's time to get some CROCS!
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Two figures appear immediately when I consider the bare foot. The first of these is Jesus Christ. While many of us think of kneeling before feet as an act of subservience, and our acknowledgment of our inferiority over the towering object of our foot-directed worship, Christ served the foot of the disciples as an act of humility.
How strange!
Here we have the son of God washing the feet of mere men. In taking the time to war-horses of the human anatomy, Christ openly advocates a socialist philosophy of taking care of one another and recognising the importance of communal work empathy.
We can also refer to the Buddha's feet, which are often shown as adorned with swastikas and dharma-wheels.
All things considered, the foot appears to have quite a beautiful symbolic meaning. Why then has the foot become a taboo?
Perhaps the story of Achilles, from Homer's Iliad, can shed some light on our predicament. If we remember correctly, Achilles, the greatest warrior of his time, only had one weakness - the heel of his foot.
Aha! The universe is beginning to fall under our control at last, is it not?
The stars are quite apparent to us now, but before drawing out concluding constellation lines, let us reflect a little on what we have covered so far. The foot represents humility and communal love, empathy, concern - and all such synonyms. Much like the foot keeps our body upright and mobile, its symbolic qualities keep the human spirit and civilisation mobile and stable.
The story of Achilles reveals this appendage to be our weakness however. As a weakness, this must be guarded and protected - much like the male genitals must be shielded on the ice rink. And how can honestly can say that they have not hesitated to show humility for fear of having it identified as a weakness to be taken advantage of?
The foot is humility, therefore it is weakness - hence the taboo of the bare foot.
Women are possibly the most cautious of this potential weakness being exposed. Perhaps it is a reaction against the societal norm of woman as the gentle. Refer to the efforts that many women go to to 'sex up' their foot. A masterful disguise - what represents humility less than sexuality? Note that men, who do not have these pressures put upon them, do not attempt to make the foot a sex object. The high heel is thing of wonder.
This woman is reveling in her humanity. She is saying - I am you, and you are me. She is humility embodied.
If I were to engage somebody - especially if I thought of them as a friend - who's feet looked in need of care, I would have gladly washed them. In doing so, I am washing the soul, and tending to the human. It is an act of Christhood.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Harsh, MK. Have some class. LOL ;-)
Re: LFB--that's what happens when you get wit Jack Nicholson.
All you young sluts are gonna be memaw and pepaw ho's one day too. Be kind.
We all get pulsed and chopped in the karma blender at some point.
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
Mme Tits, I love Anthony H. but I'm pretty sure I've never seen that movie?! I solly. :(
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Pearly, have a nice evening. Pamper yourself, sweetie! Thank you for the interaction and giggles! :)
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Submitted by Green Is Good on October 26, 2008 - 5:31pm.
That's why she kicked the shoes off. Stupid bitch chose a fabulous, expensive pair of shoes, and they were killing her feet. Idiot.
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GIG, I've worn high-heeled shoes that flattered my feet until my feet have literally blistered and BLED and even though I have cute wittle tootsie wootsies (iffin' I do say so myself) I'd never, EVER be caught dead bare footed even at a picnic. Sorry, soldier but suck it up! You chose 'em, you wore 'em...don't pussy out on the RC!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 26, 2008 - 5:27pm.
in a back-from-the-dead-and-loving-it sort of way.
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hahaha - loves it!
I just read a fun little article Joan wrote in the Oct Bazarre in defense of 80s fashions. She's a hoot.
*****
^Honky mom for Obama~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by Regina on October 26, 2008 - 5:13pm.
What the hell is this shit? The Plastic Surgery Parade?
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don't forget that if you take out LFB the average age of the people shown is likely around 60-65. These are NOT young people.
You too shall age.
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Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
It's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Dead Like Me
I've been so distracted by LFB's feet that I didn't even notice it looks like she's wearing a slip as a dress...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Take note girls - here's the proof that anti-aging crap doesn't work. I wouldn't swap heads with any of them, no siree.
Submitted by . on October 26, 2008 - 5:30pm.
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mauahaaa!! Guilty here, too! Can't sit through a movie that I can't find credible either. Especially if there's atrocious acting along with horrible story and dialogue. OK I'm out -- need to find me some Aidan images to make up for no Aidan thumbies wah! Because I thought y'alls talking about Aidan QUINN!
;D
Nevermind Lara Flyn Boyle's feet she needs to put she needs to put her effing LIPS AWAY!