This Is The Way All Fine Ladies Should Behave

Damn. I always knew Jodie Marsh's vagina had a life of its own, but I didn't know it could wave and flip off the paps. This fine lady has talents nobody knows about. I'm sure her asshole can tap dance like a motherfucker.

England's shiniest pearl was making her country proud last night by showing off her ladylike manners. She really should open a charm school, so that all little girls can master the art of class and elegance. She can also teach them about the finer things in life like McDonald's.

Jodie, who recently "turned lesbian," recently had an N shaved into the side of her head. She says the N is dedicated to her girlfriend Nina, but I'm not buying that. The health commission passed some kind of law forcing Jodie to do that. The N stands for "No, don't even think of getting near this skeezer unless you want to catch some dreadful jungle disease."

Before driving off with her lady love, Jodie told the pappies, "We're going back to mine for an orgy..no guys allowed!" And I'm sure 200 new STDs were born from that orgy.