Jennifer Aniston's Dream Cover
Hah. Australia's NW Weekly reports that Jennifer Aniston's prayers have been answered and she's pregnant with a baby. A real-life baby! You go, Jen! And to think of all the people who laughed at you for freezing John Mayer's used condoms. It finally worked!
Friends tell the magazine that John Mayer and Jen are back together for the sake of their unborn baby! The friends also say she's pregnant and loving it. Maddox must be behind this prank.
If Jenny was knocked up, you know that bitch would have crashed the "Changeling" premiere with her ultrasounds and positive pregnancy test in hand! She would've run down the red carpet screaming, "TAKE THAT, MADDOX! SCORE ONE FOR THE CHIN!"
If it is true, that baby is going to pop out of Jenny and immediately file a request to be adopted by the Brangelina holy family.
VIA Just Jared
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Submitted by Fucking_Classy on October 20, 2008 - 2:04pm.
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Sorry about that m8! :$
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Let me dirty up your mind.
kp, I love Jen. I do. I can't help it. I know she's not a great actress, but she's just so damn likeable to me.
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"I like that you have feelings."
— Paris, Paris Hilton's My New BFF
On another note, Jen should thank her lucky stars shes hollywood's most desperate! Would there be any other reason that anyone would still give a shit about her? I'm still confused as to why people still do!
Genius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiARsQSlzDc
angel_i's picture
Submitted by angel_i on October 20, 2008 - 2:15pm.
Submitted by No Words on October 20, 2008 - 2:12pm.
I call bullshit on this story...Jennifer is happy childless, I am sure. Still think she is using Joh Mayersadouche for a booty call.
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For reals. Would you even CALL John if you were pregnant? What would be the point? You'd call Benji Madden, obviously.
LMAO! This Benji Madden thing is seriously the most hilarious thing Ive read on here in ages.
Genius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiARsQSlzDc
I wish this were true, but I seriously doubt that it is...The Media must be having a slow news day.
Submitted by LoLo on October 20, 2008 - 1:54pm.
Say hi your motha for me!
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ROTFL - Thanks LoLo!
that is the funniest thing I have read all day!
I hope that if this is indeed true, Jennifer manages to carry this baby, as she has stated in earlier interviews she miscarried during her marriage to Pitt. That would be one well loved, and happy baby!! Crossing my fingers for you Jen
I'm going to go outside and rake the leaves with Benji Madden.
edit to say-can we find a way to say "Benji Madden"in every post today?LoL
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"You don't become a stripper after a lifetime of approval"...filthy cute
I doubt she is preggers,she seems like a frigid non breeder to me.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Woohoo Sweetas!
Submitted by Benji Madden on October 20, 2008 - 2:23pm.
angel: how'd you get that? those were meant to be private between me and my little herp~pie!
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If I were you, I'd be more worried about this!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
I call bullshit. The only thing you can believe in New Weekly is the price. They print shit in one issue and contradict shit a week later, hoping you forgot. It's the magazine BY morons FOR morons.
I found a *New Weekly* promotional top in a charity store last week. I've since added a super sperm stain for authenticity (see avie) and I'm going to list it on ebay, so bid with confidence.
LOL! Fake. Angelina's the only one saintly enough to produce bastard spawn. Real nice try chin, who cannot possibly be happy without a shallow shell of a man that used to be pretty but now looks more like last month's jack-o-lantern.
No actual bastards were harmed in the making of this opinion.
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on October 20, 2008 - 2:26pm.
You know it's the sperm that determines the sex of the baby, right?
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R.I.P. Rupert!
I hope she has a boy to zing it to Angelina because all she makes are girls.
I hope its true so everyone can get off her clit already.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Why thank you Beji Madden!
*Makes a note to never ever ever eat peperoni pizza gain*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Mmm hmm, she's going to give birth to asian-african-gayelle-artistic-mom jean wearin'-ocean screaming QUADS and name them all Brad.
Take that SKELETINA!
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
jen wants to have john mayer's baby? ick...
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your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
angel: how'd you get that? those were meant to be private between me and my little herp~pie!
O, Benji! Don't fuck a hoe! That's gonna hurt!
http://www.southernobserver.com/images/hoe.jpg
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
Benji Madden wears Granny Panties!!! THAT'S HOT!
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We've come for yur daughter Chuck.
BTW I don't buy the "Jen is a carefree young party girl who doesn't want icky-poo kids weighing her down" stuff, for multiple reasons.
1. She's too rabidly insecure to not buckle to societal pressure.
2. No way will she not want a sprog when it's an ongoing source of PR. The comparisons to Brad's child army alone will keep her in the public eye for at least five years.
3. If she's supposedly so happy being single, why do we only see her during her "man-free" times posing on the beach looking glum?
4. If she's so happy, confident and having fun being single, why does she only date megadouches? I could see a one-night stand for fun's sake, but not dating/procreating.
5. The whole theory smacks way too much of posters' wishful thinking.
LoLo:
1. pepperoni
2. http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=...
3. i like skank hoes
4.who isn't
5. only the big granny ones will fit my fat ass
Submitted by No Words on October 20, 2008 - 2:12pm.
I call bullshit on this story...Jennifer is happy childless, I am sure. Still think she is using Joh Mayersadouche for a booty call.
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For reals. Would you even CALL John if you were pregnant? What would be the point? You'd call Benji Madden, obviously.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
that baby bump was drawn on in MS Paint. If Pigez Hilton ever created a rag mag, this is what it would look like
it could be true....her career isnt going that fabulously, so its possible he threw some pity sperm in her or she totally tricked him into it.
Just Jard would be
"God bless the Jolie-Pitts! Now the evil scorned one will finally be too busy to stick pins in her angie voodoo doll and sit around lighting candles and crying because she lost her man to the earth mother godess of our life time."
"Then they flick the frito crumbs of their size twenty big girl polyester pants.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
I call bullshit on this story...Jennifer is happy childless, I am sure. Still think she is using Joh Mayersadouche for a booty call.
Anyway, if she got knocked up by Mayers, we have definite PROOF that she's a desperate hag, because I can't think of any woman with any self-confidence or standards who would settle for his sperm. I mean, wouldn't an order at the local sperm bank be WAY better than a megadouchebag like that?
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Actually, I wouldn't put it past Mayer to be the one poking holes at his condoms. We know he's a douche and loves the attention. Methinks they only broke up because he was caught cheating on her ass. Had he not been caught, he would have continued with Aniston while having fuck buddies on tour. For all we know, once Aniston found out how he was using her and broke up with him, it was too late. Of course, assuming this news is true.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
She's too vain to ever get pregnant. She's too old and too thin as well. I'm calling Pillow Case Hoax.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on October 20, 2008 - 2:07pm.
I bet the brangaloonies from JJ are doing their daily "MANISTON IS A DESPERATESKANKSPINSTERWHORE!!" routine right now.
I wish Spitt, Skankelina and Chinnifer would just spontaneously combust, seriously.
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They are pretty fucking tediuos, huh
You sluts are killing me
I bet the brangaloonies from JJ are doing their daily "MANISTON IS A DESPERATESKANKSPINSTERWHORE!!" routine right now.
I wish Spitt, Skankelina and Chinnifer would just spontaneously combust, seriously.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
angel_i - oh mah gawd gurl that shit is HILARIOUS
Submitted by Lory on October 20, 2008 - 1:59pm.
We all know that they are pulling out their pubes with their bare hands yelling muder as they pick up their children from day care.
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I think I just died a little on the inside for thinking of this imagery.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Y'all know it had to be done.
Boy George would be so pleased!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
This:
I think if she really wanted a baby she would have had one with Brad. She's a party girl and she loves it. I think she enjoys her freedom and she has the money to do whatever or whoever she wants. She probably kicks back some place over looking the ocean with a glass of wine in one hand and a joint in the other and thinks "Damn I have a good life and poor Brad stuck with shitty diapers and screaming children".
Is right on the money. Mind you, I hate Rachel Green, but I actually would respect her if she remained childless by choice.
I'd be so happy if she ever popped a baby that looks exactly like brad pitt. to the extent that denial is not an option... ooooh i'd like to see angelina handle that. that would be orgasmic to watch
If she wants a kid, it's because she finally figured out that her "movie star career" is a pitiful has-been disaster and that a lack of kids doesn't make her look younger.
Anyway, if she got knocked up by Mayers, we have definite PROOF that she's a desperate hag, because I can't think of any woman with any self-confidence or standards who would settle for his sperm. I mean, wouldn't an order at the local sperm bank be WAY better than a megadouchebag like that?
Oh and if this child is Bradley's, Jennifer better hire a fucking swat team, 'cause the brangaloonies will be coming for her ass!
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Oh FUCK! I forgot! The brangeloonies! Has anyone seen what they are doing right now? Actually, nvm, why bother? We all know that they are pulling out their pubes with their bare hands yelling muder as they pick up their children from day care.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Yeah Benji we have so many questions like:
1. what does a herpe taste like?
2. are you mad your mom named you that?
3. Why would you sex up big bird like that man?
4. Are you still dating Paris?
5. Do you wear ladies panties?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
PLEASE. Anniston totally went to her local walgreens last night and printed that shit with their magazine options
Genius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiARsQSlzDc
Paris and I are working thru our issues, she refuses to follow my strict Christian beliefs and also she makes me listen to Stars Are Blind 3 times every day
and a follow up question for Benji... did it hurt when your peen fell off?
Benji... so are you and Paris still together or what?
Benji Madden in the house!
*punches him*
Say hi your motha for me!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
It's me Benji Madden, Paris and I are very much in love and she doesn't have any active herpes outbreak at this time
oh fuck beans! Ladies, guard your loins, Benji Madden is here. *puts on makeup and curls hair*
I think if she really wanted a baby she would have had one with Brad. She's a party girl and she loves it. I think she enjoys her freedom and she has the money to do whatever or whoever she wants. She probably kicks back some place over looking the ocean with a glass of wine in one hand and a joint in the other and thinks "Damn I have a good life and poor Brad stuck with shitty diapers and screaming children".
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
It's Benji Madden!!!!
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
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We've come for yur daughter Chuck.