Wonky Is Britain's Problem Now
Wonky McValtrex and her army of mutant cooch maggots are currently terrorizing London while she films the UK version of her reality show "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." The BFF must stand for "butt farting fucktard."
Wonky says that she loves London so much that she's looking to move there....FOREVER! She reportedly told friends, "I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. I have already been here for one month and am much, much happier here. I love guys with English accents. I have met a really cute English guy, but it's early days."
I think all the genital warts in America just disappeared. And did that constant itching in your pubic bush area suddenly go away? That's because the crabs packed up all their shit and shuffled off to the airport to catch the next Virgin flight to London. Their services are no longer needed here.
We also need to fast track a mandatory law stating that if your name is "Wonky McValtrex (that's her legal name)," you must be quarantined for at least 100-years before re-entering the US.
Thanks for taking one for the team, Great Britain. Hey, we're getting Vadge back, so this is a fair trade!