Guy Is A Meanie, Vadge Is A Controlling Bitch
Every hour there's a new story about Guy and Vadge's dirty divorce. You know Vadge is busting loads of panty pudding over all the publicity. She probably lays all the newspaper clippings out on the bed and rubs her roid-cooze all over them. Attention should be that bitch's third husband. That marriage would last forever.
There's a lot of stories and rumors out there, so I'm just going to break it down for you in list form. Lists make everything seem so dramatic. So do exclamation points, so I'll throw lots of those in.
V cares more about her personal trainer than her own husband!!V slathers her body in fancy creams and then covers herself in a plastic bodysuit every night!!
V completely controls the house including what they eat. Only macrobiotic shit! G had to drink his evening tea with rice milk! V doesn't allow dairy or sugar in her house!
V doesn't allow TV!!!!!!
When they went out to dinner at restaurants, V didn't trust the chefs, so she usually just drank a glass of water!
V works on her fitness at least 2 hours a day including holidays!
V turned to full-on plastic surgery in order to look younger for G.
G is constantly cruel to V! He told her that she looks like a granny!
G has made V feel worthless, unattractive, unfeminine, insecure and isolated!!!
G told V that she sucks as an actress!
G would check out other hos in front of V. G would also make fun of her in front of their friends!
G wants Rocco to live with him in London! V wants all her children in NYC with her!!!!
G will get at least $40 million in the divorce as well as their London pub and the country estate!
Cue dramatic chipmunk! In addition to all these not-so-shocking claims, Guy's old daddy is speaking out about Vadge calling his son "emotionally retarded" at a concert in Boston. 78-year-old John Ritchie tells The Daily Mail, 'She is being beastly. She's calling him an emotional retard. When he's being bashed by her it's horrid."
Pepaw Ritchie better watch it. That beast can tear him into a million pieces with just one swipe from her titanium labia lips of death!
Click here, here and here if you want to read more about this shit. I'm sure 50 new rumors will pop up as soon as I hit publish.
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@Miso..
Can we just take Madonna, J-Ho,Spencer, Heidi,Winehouse,hell throw in Angelina for good measure and put them on an island, and the only way out of the island is to kill each other...ala ''Battle Royale''?
Ok in reality, as tough as she makes out Vadge would be gone as soon as she fell off something and couldn't find anyone to blame.
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He acts like and idiot, talks like and idiot and looks like an idiot. Don't be fooled ..he's an idiot..
The only hot thing in this pathetic bitchfest/media circus is Lourdes and her mighty facial hair.
Now, thats someone whose fate im interested in!
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"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson
Yahoo is reporting that Guy and Madonna have reached a property settlement where he gets $60m, including the English estate, the pub, and cash. They're supposedly going to work out child-custody arrangements.
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/report-madonna-guy-ritchies-60m-divorce-settle...
Submitted by miso-horny on October 18, 2008 - 6:45pm.
Can we just take Madonna, J-Ho,Spencer, Heidi,Winehouse,hell throw in Angelina for good measure and put them on an island, and the only way out of the island is to kill each other...ala ''Battle Royale''?
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Oh yes by all means, but please leave Wino out of this! You know she's have to be trollied in and would last 2 seconds.
I can see Vadge being a strong contender, but with J-Lo and her rear cushion, you never know.
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"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson
Submitted by She She peritta on October 18, 2008 - 4:57pm.
I bet his next girlfriend will have big tits and love beer and french fries.
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I have big tits...six of 'em...and I like beer and fart jokes, AND being called Granny...Yeah, that turns me on more than being called sugar tits! Guy, call me!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by zomay on October 18, 2008 - 7:00pm.
Well I think Jho and Madonna would form a unity to take out Jolie, wino and the Douche's the first day. They would become lovers but then turn on each other because of selfish reasons.
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And then lie about it, and turn it into a movie of the week.
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
Guy is sooo obvious. He was TRYING to make Madonna break up with him. That way he gets more money. Damn, he really is emotionally fucked up.
to TITS...
haha! i've got arms! I had forgotten that part.
I love how edina is always claiming to have pills that will let her pee her weight off overnight.
Well I think Jho and Madonna would form a unity to take out Jolie, wino and the Douche's the first day. They would become lovers but then turn on each other because of selfish reasons.
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Would any ladies care for some Spiced Wine? It is home made.
ShiningKnight on October 1
TITS!!! Are you off yours? I know I am. Hahaha...
And miso, I'd lay odds on Angie Jo, but only if she brought Zahara with her. Because you know that child will cut someone first and take names later.
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
to miso-horny...
great idea! within the first few hours it would be down to madonna, jlo and angelina. I think angelina and madonna could individually take jlo. so angelina vs. madonna, who wins? I am going to say angelina. she is younger and seems to be stronger than she looks (based on her constant kid toting).
Submitted by miso-horny on October 18, 2008 - 6:45pm.
Can we just take Madonna, J-Ho,Spencer, Heidi,Winehouse,hell throw in Angelina for good measure and put them on an island, and the only way out of the island is to kill each other...ala ''Battle Royale''?
I have to go with Spencer. Somebody would misplace the banana that Heidi fetched for him, and then he would go ape-shit. I'm sure he's a cannibal as well.
"It's not how long it takes, it's who's taking you." --marilyn
Submitted by forever.now on October 18, 2008 - 6:50pm.
edina did the seaweed and ace bandage wrap for weight loss. hilarious!
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oooh yeah! the one with the jamaican nurse! 'your body absorbs mud!!' and 'I've got arms' whilst flapping.
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BOO!
Um. If I wanted someone to call me a hooker, I'd go out. Angel-i
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by Thornhill on October 18, 2008 - 6:51pm.
I was thinking Angelina because of her fascination with knives lol.
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Steve Smith: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
Stanley Smith: That's right. Or angels will kill you. Good night.
IG 'off her tits'
LOLOL
haven't heard that in ages. loves it.
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BOO!
Um. If I wanted someone to call me a hooker, I'd go out. Angel-i
Submitted by miso-horny on October 18, 2008 - 6:45pm.
my money is on heidi/karla.
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BOO!
Um. If I wanted someone to call me a hooker, I'd go out. Angel-i
Submitted by miso-horny on October 18, 2008 - 6:45pm.
Can we just take Madonna, J-Ho,Spencer, Heidi,Winehouse,hell throw in Angelina for good measure and put them on an island, and the only way out of the island is to kill each other...ala ''Battle Royale''?
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Miso, I think it has to be Madonna. JLo would be bogged down by her ass, Spencer would cry like a little bitch, Heidi has that chin thing going on, Winehouse is off her tits, and Angelina is too busy being the Patron Saint of Humanity.
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
@miso-horny...Wino..coz she's hardcore
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He acts like and idiot, talks like and idiot and looks like an idiot. Don't be fooled ..he's an idiot..
edina did the seaweed and ace bandage wrap for weight loss. hilarious! when I read in vogue about women actually doing such things I have to laugh.
but if madonna is using moisturizering creams... wow... she must have super dry skin. I don't know how stds could cause such a thing (side effects from meds?) but that has to be part of it. this woman has been lavishing attention on herself for years and years. her skin shouldn't be THAT dry when you consider she only uses the finest products. and she drinks a lot of that special kabbalah water.
I had forgotten she was with dennis rodman. and apparently had unprotected sex with him. I hope they gave the cdc fair warning.
OMG MEN are big babies!
We're all a bunch of big babies, come to think of it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
I really don't know where to begin, but these are my favorites from the list:
G is constantly cruel to V! He told her that she looks like a granny!
G told V that she sucks as an actress!
G will get at least $40 million in the divorce as well as their London pub and the country estate!
"...Hooked on your love sweet love song" Sparkle
Can we just take Madonna, J-Ho,Spencer, Heidi,Winehouse,hell throw in Angelina for good measure and put them on an island, and the only way out of the island is to kill each other...ala ''Battle Royale''?
Google it folks...
P.S. Who do you think would be the last one standing?
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Steve Smith: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
Stanley Smith: That's right. Or angels will kill you. Good night.
really the kids should just get their own place. lourdes's dad and david's parent(s) can take care of the grown up stuff. guy and madonna can visit them.
Submitted by Hekki on October 18, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Blah chili dogs. I remember the first time I had one....three hours later I was vomiting all over the toliet, never again.
O/T: Team Guy!
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Go Phillies!
Submitted by speakit on October 18, 2008 - 5:45pm.
Women are big babies.
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I am NOT a big baby. You're a BIG MEANIE!!!!!
*running out of room in hysterics*
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She is the biggest Lie Teller ever to lie tell in lie telling history.
LieTelleralina.
Submitted by Hekki on October 18, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Submitted by She She peritta: "I bet his next girlfriend will have big tits and love beer and french fries."
Right on! I always say that about men married to women like her. That the husbands have chubby, merry mistresses who feed them chili dogs and beer and laugh at the farts.
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and love them for who they are, not who they want them to be.
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She is the biggest Lie Teller ever to lie tell in lie telling history.
LieTelleralina.
Submitted by Hekki on October 18, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Submitted by She She peritta: "I bet his next girlfriend will have big tits and love beer and french fries."
Right on! I always say that about men married to women like her. That the husbands have chubby, merry mistresses who feed them chili dogs and beer and laugh at the farts.
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Well, it works for me!! I KID!! :)
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
p.s. -- The creams-n-bodysuit-wrap thing reminds me of Absolutely Fabulous, something Eddie would do! I bet Lourdes is like Saffie!
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LOLOL good call. (isolation tank/flipper)
the question now is, who's the patsy?
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BOO!
Um. If I wanted someone to call me a hooker, I'd go out. Angel-i
Submitted by She She peritta: "I bet his next girlfriend will have big tits and love beer and french fries."
Right on! I always say that about men married to women like her. That the husbands have chubby, merry mistresses who feed them chili dogs and beer and laugh at the farts.
"I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash talk... I won't go out with Madonna again."
--charles barkley, space jam
guy isn't the only one whose luck has been ruined by the vadge. she also wanted dennis rodman to get her preggers in the 90's. what a crazy, crazy hoe.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Take as much money as you can Guy and start banging 25 year olds very publicly. If Guy is as homophobic as rumored then you see why he's through with her--she is so masculine looking. Yuck.
Submitted by r5bales on October 18, 2008 - 5:38pm.
Boo Hoo... I didn't get all the attention I wanted when I was injured.
I am weary of these women who want to be super emotional, and not keep those emotions in check.
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Women are big babies. I don't care how much of a bad ass bitch one is (like me :p), at some point... baby. Even if it's just temporary.
Same goes for men though, ESPECIALLY when they're sick.
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 5:33pm.
It's one word but 17 points in online Scrabble.
Boo Hoo... I didn't get all the attention I wanted when I was injured.
I am weary of these women who want to be super emotional, and not keep those emotions in check.
We have a generation of women who haven't learnedto control their emotions, yet demand their men control theirs.
“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook”
This time it's forever!
Vadge is an old talent-free whore. Once you renounce the Catholic Church you might as well wait for Kabala to take half your pre-nup. Buy a walker, and give Guy Richie back the X-Ray Specs he's been viewing you thru the past eight years! You haven't had an original idea since 1979.
Submitted by joe shmoe on October 18, 2008 - 5:31pm.
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I KNOW!!! And addle-pated? Excellent! *writes addle-pated down*
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
Submitted by joe shmoe on October 18, 2008 - 5:28pm.
Her Les Paul says otherwise. He says her thrusts are sticky and sweet, to boot.
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 5:27pm.
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Oh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! I luuurves Little Britain, thanks IG. Sorry, I'm very tired from studying and a little addle-pated today.
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http://ca.video.yahoo.com/watch/3710199?fr=yvmtf
Submitted by Sheeps on October 18, 2008 - 5:25pm.
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Yes but I'm sure that Madonna doesn't do justice to a good thrust. Or she and Weenie wouldn't be over.
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http://ca.video.yahoo.com/watch/3710199?fr=yvmtf
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 5:17pm.
Or thrusting. I still liked her in "Desperately Seeking Susan," but she was basically playing herself.
It's always strange how people can live together for so long, then go from love to hate. People are a strange creature, that's fo sho!
upskt.com
Submitted by Sheeps on October 18, 2008 - 5:14pm.
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Yes, I have! I refused to watch his version too--- Madonna and acting is a complete oxymoron. I'd spend the entire film waiting for her to start Vogueing or something.
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 5:07pm.
Ever see the first "Swept Away" by Lina Wertmuller? I refuse to see Madonna's version, but it seems she'd be sooo perfect in the role of the bitchy rich woman who's shipwrecked with the sailor she had bossed around beforehand. Alone on an island, he basically brutalizes the haughtiness out of her.
I'm gonna be all annoying and shit and pull out the controversial OBVIOUS:
A. Women hardly ever orgasm with a man and withholding sex is not exactly 'hard' for a woman.
B. Big dicks, little dicks...dicks need attention (according to men)
C. Cum. Who cums? Not women. Hardly ever. Sorry, girls, getting 'wet' doesn't count as an orgasm. Men? You know when they cum. Giz wiz anyone?
D. Sex sells. Sex feels good. Just the word "sex" is making you think about sex right now even.
E. When a woman doesn't 'need' a man in the 'financial' sense then he is on level with the woman or even lesser if the woman is more powerful and wealthier. Thereby rendering the 'man' an actual human being who can't use the woman as his domestic tool but rather as his equal.
F. Fucked. Sex is ritualistic in the end. Sex is 'getting off'. Sex is pleasure. Sex is nasty. Sex is dirty. Sexy is shameful.
G. No. Sex is beautiful if you love, truly love someone. Sex can be getting someone else off besides yourself.
H. Marriage is not sacred. It's what you pour into it from your heart and soul or what you neglect to recognize that makes or breaks it.
I. I. Me. We all want love. I don't think I know one single person who can tell me straight faced that they don't want love. Love is universal. So is lonliness. I am probably one of the lonliest person I know (ha-ha) but I don't think I'm the only one. I'm so lonely that I cry because of it. -And here I am married and shit. Marriage won't cure lonliness. Trust me on this one.
J. Joking. Laughter makes your wrinkles sweeter. SMILE!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 18, 2008 - 5:00pm.
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Yeah, I'm way too lazy to do it every night but I've gone to bed with my feet all wrapped up like that...really, I can sleep any where at any time in anything. Which, I think, will be VERY useful during the Apocalypse!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
CaptionThisOct16
Team Ritchie!
Good luck Vadge trying to find another man who can put up with your prententious, self-absorbed, egomaniacal shit.
Submitted by Sheeps on October 18, 2008 - 4:55pm.
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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Gonads? Oh wait, first he has to find them. :)
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You're never too old to become younger.
-Mae West
Submitted by angel_i on October 18, 2008 - 4:55pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 18, 2008 - 4:44pm.
p.s. -- The creams-n-bodysuit-wrap thing reminds me of Absolutely Fabulous, something Eddie would do!
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Haha! I was, like: Dayum! That's a good idea! But then, I'm not married:)
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lol! I think it would be a great thing to do maybe once a weekend. I'm not married but living in sin, but even when I was living alone I can't imagine torturing myself like that every night GAH -- I'm a nude sleeper, can't even stand loose underwear pulling on my bits when I'm shifting around in bed and HATEHATEHATE when I have to wear the grannie panties with the overnight pad on rag nights!!-- yeah, TMI I know.
I bet his next girlfriend will have big tits and love beer and french fries.
Submitted by islandgirl on October 18, 2008 - 4:46pm.
After being married to that dried up, controlling old cooter, can you imagine the sexy times Guy will be having now? Snatch, indeed.
hahahahaha. First, I'd give ex-Mrs. A-Rod a ring, just for cosmic balance. Then I'd enter my own pub and not step out into the sunlight for 3 months.