So Long, Mother's Cookies
This is exactly why Mondays are disgusting and gross. I always hear horrific news like this on a Monday morning. Workers at Mother's Cookies were told on October 3rd that the company is shutting down for good and cookies will no longer be made. NO!!!!! Who's going to make those delicious frosted animal cookies?! I used to eat that shit with milk for breakfast.
The company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last Monday. Their distribution plants in Ohio and Canada are closed forever The private equity firm that owned Mother's blamed rising fuel and ingredient prices. I blame those Keebler elves. Do those bitches have an alibi? And if the Keebler elves are involved, you know the Olsen trolls had something to do with it.
Employees at Mother's were not given the federally required 60-day notice due to "unforeseeable business circumstances." That means they couldn't pay them anymore.
This is the end of an era. It's also the end of days. Why go on if we can't have those scrumptious frosted circus animal cookies anymore?
If you'll excuse me, I have to furiously search the interwebs and buy up every last bag of Circus Animal cookies. Since the world is ending, I want to go down stuffing my face with sprinkled frosted goodness.
Rest in peace, Mother's Cookies....
Source: SF Gate
Thanks Danielle
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every time i see the caption I think of the leonard cohen song "so long, Marianne"
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happy thoughts!! like rainbows and molasses cookies!! *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
OMG Hekki, I loved those and the ones that were two soft oatmeal with cream filling ****************************1/20/09
"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
Fellow OHIO-ANS ...we must rally the troops! Storm the castle and not let this happen. :( Fuckery fucked my Monday.
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Submitted by missy on July 24, 2008 - 9:47am.
I officially deem this day to be: What The Fuck Is Wrong With People Day
MissY: EXCELLENT ADVICE!
Submitted by Hekki on October 13, 2008 - 10:04am.
They also stopped making those Golden Raisin biscuits. I think Sunshine made them. Anyone else love those? It was a layer of chewy raisin between not-too-sweet dough. I farking LOVED those things.
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I never heard of Mothers cookies, were they sold in NYC? I loved those raisin biscuits u speak of Hekki, my mom got me hooked on them. When Keebler bought sunshine bakeries, they tossed these biscuits aside saying not enough consumer demand... AGAIN those fuckin olsen trolls!! Well, if you can find these in any shop : Crawford's Garibaldi Biscuits , they actually taste better than the sunshine brand. http://www.britishdelights.com/prod_e184.htm
I have the Keebler ones in my cabinet right now.Don't hate, my son picked them.They are really fucking good though.
Submitted by missy on October 13, 2008 - 10:27am.
*offers shoulder to cry on*
(i'd offer a tasty archway cookie but i haven't run out to stock up yet.... i know what i'm doin on my lunch break!!)
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
The next time we'll get to see a dancing hippo will be on Rosie O's variety series.
WHA?!?!?! Noooooo! Archway Sugar cookies are fucking delicious! So soft, they almost melt in your mouth.
This is turning into the worse Monday ever. :(
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Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
ARCHWAY??? THEY ARE THE SOLID ROCK CORNERSTONE OF STORE BOUGHT SNACK TREATS!!!!!
*wails*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by adt on October 13, 2008 - 10:19am.
no you can't... archway closed. the article below is a political one, but it talks about archway closing.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/12/battleground.ohio/index.html
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
Submitted by missy on October 13, 2008 - 10:15am.
ONT: whoever matntioned archway.. LOVE those!! the molasses ones are the shit.
GO BUY THEM NOW!!! archway closed their doors too...
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
Oh NO! That is a huge bummer! I love Mother's cookies!
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clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
here I am, stuck in the middle with you
It's okay, Michael K!! You can still get those delicious cookies from Archway!
Dancing frosted pastel sprinkled circus animals? Sounds like my last drunken hallucination.
My favorite cookies are Pepperidge Farm, almost any flavor but especially the mint milanos or the apricot and raspberry tartlet things...
People, I tell you...cheeto's and cap'n crunch can't be far from the R.I.P. roster.
Submitted by kdracofan on October 13, 2008 - 10:05am.
Very sad and scary...this economy is a nightmare
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the scariest thing is the fear. yes, the losses in the market have been among some of the highest in history, however
in each instance where the market has gone down so sharply as it has in the last few weeks, what followed each time was a 6 month to 2 year period of market gains of around 50%.
I wish I had more money to buy into funds right now.
Anyone with savings should take 60% of that savings and put it into low risk index funds. By the end of the month make it 85%.
Youll make a bundle over the next few years.
ONT: whoever matntioned archway.. LOVE those!! the molasses ones are the shit.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I didn't have them often, but I know that they were good. This ridiculousness makes me both annoyed and hungry. The economy is taking down all sorts of businesses (by the way, anyone read the articles about how banks basically have stopped lending to one another, meaning they're not lending to business, and also to people- meaning a lot of businesses are suffering right now!). I fear for all the companies of less well known but still delicious snack treats (I'm speaking of course of such things as Junior Mints, Whoppers, Sour Patch Kids, etc)!
And if anything happens to my zebra cakes I very well just may go postal!
Damn, this means I cannot get 1,000 cookies for $1.49 anymore? What am I going to do when I need to put myself in a diabetic coma? Seriously, my dad was notoriously cheap growing up and he always bought off brand crap. Like these cookies. I remember them well. They had the power to break your damn teefs in half. Memories.
fuck, now I really hate monday....
My husband is mourning the loss of iced oatmeal cookies.
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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 13, 2008 - 9:33am.
you're on ohio?! WHHHHHHHERE?! i'm a cleveland east sider.
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
what MK failed to mention was that Mothers was run by Archway and they had the most orgasmic dutch cocoa cookies ever. they were the only store bought cookies i'd eat when i was in elementary school.
sad news for store bought cookies today indeed.
it also sucks for the people who worked at the plant in ashland (the ohio plant, a grand total of an hours drive from my house) because they were working on friday and on saturday got certified letters in the mail saying "sorry, we're shutting down and cutting off all your benefits as of yesterday."
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
Very sad and scary...this economy is a nightmare
They also stopped making those Golden Raisin biscuits. I think Sunshine made them. Anyone else love those? It was a layer of chewy raisin between not-too-sweet dough. I farking LOVED those things.
Bummer.
Slide your mouse over the picture,it says ohgodno.jpg
LoL
My inside information has told me that the cause of this is the union. They'd been there so long and were so powerful (with reps making nearly three times the annual wage and servicing only one account whereas the industry rep standard is about ten accounts and about $35,000 a year) that the company just couldn't handle it anymore. And so now everyone's out of a job. Hooray for unions. Bleeding companies dry in the U.S. for over one hundred years!
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on October 13, 2008 - 9:56am.
That HWORE Mrs. Fields is taking everyone down with her.
I loved these things and they were CHEAP!
I'm kicking the next Keebler Elf I see.
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I wonder how much longer Mrs. Fields can get away with charging 2 dollars for a fucking chocolate chip cookie. Probably forever if they keep putting the Mrs. Field's stores right next to Torrid in the malls.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
I know you're watching over us, Pap. I love you, I miss you already.
Total FUCKERY! I will mourn the loss of my animal cookies. In the mean time I am heading for my local Dollar Tree. They just got a load of them in. I am going to stock up and eat myself into a sugar coma.
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
That HWORE Mrs. Fields is taking everyone down with her.
I loved these things and they were CHEAP!
I'm kicking the next Keebler Elf I see.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
WHAT THE COCK IS THIS SHIT!!!?
No more Mother's Cookies!? NO!
This is total fucking bullshit. The government can bail out all these banks and lenders, but they can't help save one of the greatest companies that produce one of the greatest cookies ever!
BULLSHIT! FUCK! COCKWHORES!
*runs off to hoard animal cookies*
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Sometimes, you just need a "Fuck it" Day.
How sad. A friend of mine works for them!
A friend of ours worked for them. Exactly the scenario you described, but wanted to let you know, he was left with a van full of cookies, so I suspect close-out stores, etc. will be full of them for awhile. (I think all the drivers were left with lots of stock.)
Another victim of the rotten economy. Bush and
McCain have conspired to take cookies away from innocent children! This makes baby Jesus cry! I hear Obama loves cookies and wants to protect them, so all Americans can indulge in their God given right to suck down as many cookies as they can afford.
LOL
"I'm John McCain, and I approve this mess!"
What??? This was the only decent food in the vending machine..Where am I supposed to get my share of grains and fruit without my Mother's outmeal cookie?
The Keebler ones are better anyway.
WTF?!?! i just bought a bag this weekend too! what a shitty way to start the week. it should be a law that the govt bails them out!!!
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Sarah Palin killed all the animals in the cookie bags. Damn her & her shotgun.
This is why I hate Mondays.
NOOOO!
MK's tastes can sometimes be scandalous (BAGELFULLS when you live in fucking NEW YORK CITY, bagel capitol of the free world), but this shit really is delicious. RIP Mother's frosted animal cookies!
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
I know you're watching over us, Pap. I love you, I miss you already.
awwwwww sad. I used to have these with milk in kindergarten. Allt the teachers had bags of these cookies.
No!!!!!!!!!! Crap, now I gotta run around town and snap them all up. And hide them from the kids in large quantities? These are not kids cookies!
Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
Never bought the stuff, but the happy packaging always offset the uneasy feelings generated by the evil face of Little Debbie. Somehow, that little bitch had something to do with this. It wasn't the elves - they're too busy squirting cream in their damn treehouse.
What a cowinkydink, I'm going to my doctor at ten and stocking up on my generic xanax script.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
LOL Mrs K I am def on a mission to get some this week!
****************************1/20/09
"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! No reason to live now. Goobye cruel world. *stabbing myself in the heart*
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Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore
Mmmmm I used to eat those when I would visit my Grandma in San Fran...they bring back memories =(
I dont think I have ever seen those here in the Chi
Never 'eard of em.
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Orgasms make the world go around. -MK
I'm more of a whip it in, whip it out and wipe it kinda bloke! -El B.
More Bush fuckery I tell you!!!!
although, The brand I buy is not mothers, and I'm in Ohio, so...
if they fuck with circus peanuts, I'm getting my gun and heading naked to the nearest tower.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
WWWHHHYYY???
When I lived in Oakland, I lived across the street from their old factory, which they had turned into a group of lofts.
I would often buy a bag of the animal circus crackers after a day of being spoken to like an idiot by research scientists. The cookies were cheaper than a fifth of Jack. Those cookies could turn a bad day good, a gray sky blue a pencil d*ck into an italian sausage.
Today is a day of mourning. I'm calling in sick to this bitch.
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Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.
I always got the cheaper imitation brand cookies. I thought these had too much frosting, and the generic ones just had a splash on the front and were even better to me. I'll have to see if those are still around!