Dumb Bitch Of The Day!
While making coffee this morning, I accidentally poured the coffee where the water goes and vice versa. I even turned it fucking on. I felt like Jessica Simpson's brain twin. That's until I read this story. Thank you, Charlotte Feeney for being the dumbest bitch of the day!
Charlotte of Connecticut filed a lawsuit against L'Oreal claiming that her life was ruined when she accidentally dyed her blonde hair brunette with one of their products.
Dumb dumb Char accused the company of putting the brunette hair dye in a blonde box. She said that she can never get back to her natural blonde hair color and she's depressed in a major way because of that. She's on anti-depressants, hardly goes out, always wears hats and suffers from anxiety.
Guess what the judge did? He laughed so hard he passed a kidney stone through his ass. And then he threw out the lawsuit.
This is probably the longest blonde joke I ever read. And nobody tell her she can actually dye her hair back! It's best for all of us that she stays inside. I also can't wait until the judge reads her lawsuit against Burger King for putting cheese on her cheeseburger. Sorry. That was dumber than Charlotte. I'll be here all week!
Thanks George
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Clarisse, thanks sweetheart!
I'm not nearly half as sexy as my avvie, but it's nice of you to say that.
" pulls your pants off, runs"
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Amen, Motherfucker.
christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:22pm
ahem *coughbelowyoucough*
On T: So, a blond bought a box and it turned her hair brunette.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
PSL,
Word.
Jeffro11,
"If you haven't run your tongue down the crack of a sweet woman's ass, you're just letting the best in life pass you by." You're wif is a lucky gal!
Dr D.,
You can go with CTH, but i have to warn you, that is really her in her avie!!!! I SWEAR!!!
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
Oh no! SB is here! My Oz adoption plans are ruined!
(What's up Ms. B-and don't ask me the same question)
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 8, 2008 - 3:17pm.
Can I kill the troll?
Huh? where?
"Scratching blonde head."
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Amen, Motherfucker.
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 8, 2008 - 3:17pm.
Can I kill the troll?
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I say go for it, killing is something few people ever get to experience. It'll be a change in your life instead of the dull repetiveness that most likly consumes youeh?
( o )( o )( 0 )( 0 )( * )( * )( < )( < )( O )( O ) ( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )( . )( . )
HAHAHA!
I like licking ass crack (jk). No really im not! K course I am.....anyway, playing with ass feels better than blowjobs right?
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Nah, you can just leave me alone back there. Happy to do the former to a woman, though. If you haven't run your tongue down the crack of a sweet woman's ass, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. :-0
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
guys, VLL would want you to ignore it.....
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"
The idiot must have been drinking the hair dye to be this stupid. She should stay inside because it is obvious she couldn't survive outside without a keeper.
"When I die, Satan is going to weep, 'cause that bitch will know he is out of a job."
Damn! Any more of this and I'm going to have to go out and buy a watertight cover for my keyboard! Why am I feeling faint right now? Oh, the blood rush thingie downstairs.
*stumbles around dazed*
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:15pm.
LCT
learn to cook really, really well? I like giving out oral!
haha, Dr.D get ready!
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I like licking ass crack (jk). No really im not! K course I am.....anyway, playing with ass feels better than blowjobs right?
( o )( o )( 0 )( 0 )( * )( * )( < )( < )( O )( O ) ( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )( . )( . )
HAHAHA!
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:15pm.
LCT
learn to cook really, really well? I like giving out oral!
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Me too, but not if he's going to be all caveman about it...
Please tell me there are alternate options.
1) Anal sex
2) Beer
3) HDTV sports
good luck!
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
*sigh*
Carrottop,
How is it that we lost VVL, but this thing stayed?
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
Can I kill the troll?
Submitted by oklahoma on October 8, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Oh snap! this story is really fucking funny! Poor dummy,, Couldn't even understand color,, COLORS! I mean if you can't read, surely you know your colors..
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Maybe she was coclor blind....
( o )( o )( 0 )( 0 )( * )( * )( < )( < )( O )( O ) ( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )( . )( . )
HAHAHA!
LCT
learn to cook really, really well? I like giving out oral!
haha, Dr.D get ready!
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Amen, Motherfucker.
CTH!
Lies!! Lies and slander!!!
Carrottop!! Make her stop!!!!
Psst. Dr. D, she really does have cooties....Really....
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
Oh snap! this story is really fucking funny! Poor dummy,, Couldn't even understand color,, COLORS! I mean if you can't read, surely you know your colors..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
I'll confess that I know there's only enough blood to run one head at a time. A man must know his limits!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:11pm.
Clarrise, you know you have lice and a herpy.
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If you were sex starved for a year, and finally found a girl who would give you some, and she was hot as the sun in jamica, you get down to pussy and you ssaw a herpy, would you still F her? Most guys would, thats why they're all dispicable and nasty and barely a step above animals...
( o )( o )( 0 )( 0 )( * )( * )( < )( < )( O )( O ) ( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )( . )( . )
HAHAHA!
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:09pm.
LCT
regular blow jobs keeps them quiet and peaceful for years.
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Sigh. I hate to think the only way I can keep a husband happy is to demote myself to being a blowjob machine.
Please tell me there are alternate options.
Jeffro, just a preference and not a limit. A glove is a handy friend indeed! But I won't cut grass during that time! No way! No how!
Christine, please be gentle...
.
.
.
.
at first!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
OMG here we go, anal sex on a Wednesday afternoon, beautiful! good times!
****************************1/20/09
"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
"...laughed so hard he passed a kidney stone out of his ass..."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMFG! *sniff/wipe*
On topic: Um, what was the topic?
The post was a hair color mix-up, but we've moved to period sex, which can only mean anal is just around the corner. Pun intended.
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
Clarrise, you know you have lice and a herpy.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
Coincidence that it's Hump Day given the convo? I think not.
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Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, "Booty - mmm mmm." - Christopher Titus
Submitted by Dr. Destructo on October 8, 2008 - 2:44pm.
angel, a good 'screw you buddy' works much better on me! I was an EMT and after doing that, not much shocks me anymore. I've cleaned up people with scoops shovels at wrecks and shoved brains back into people's heads,
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Ack!!! I could do it if I had to but UGH. As long as they live. I can't handle death.
This thread got SO icky! ICK!
(I WISH I COULD KEEP TRACK OF THE COMMENTS LIKE I USED TO *COUGHCOUGH*)
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola /Happy Birthday, Amy
Yes, I am an attention whore. Don't look at me!
LCT
regular blow jobs keeps them quiet and peaceful for years.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
Which, in guy speak means, as long as I get blowjobs regularly, who gives a shit what's going on in her danger zone?
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On the contrary Carrottop! The man in the boat is still fully operational and you've got a whole backside to enjoy!
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
*claps wildly*
We like when boys come to play on Dlisted!!!!
Dr D.,
Don't get in the tub with CTH! She has cooties! Come with me....
On topic: Um, what was the topic?
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
@ DR D
get in the bathtub with me, I'll be gentle..
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Amen, Motherfucker.
"I've heard of some women who get off on sexy times during their snatch tax. Especially having the oral done to them."
Ohhhh hell no! I just threw up a little.
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
No offense Dr. D, but jeez, just push the string aside and soldier on. LOL
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on October 8, 2008 - 3:02pm.
Besides, there's other places on your bod to play...as the great Tater Salad said...they don't close the whole amusement park if the roller coaster is broke down!
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Which, in guy speak means, as long as I get blowjobs regularly, who gives a shit what's going on in her danger zone?
TATER SALAD!!!!
You caught the tater!!!!
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:00pm.
LCT
I've heard they're out there, but I have yet to have been with a man who didn't mind having sex when I was paying my monthly snatch tax.
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Dido. Me thinks I smells a fibber.
My boyfriend wouldn't even come near me if he knew there was any sort of redness happening down below.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on October 8, 2008 - 3:02pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:00pm.
no, I meant ALL of them would do it to me, regardless... hahhaaaa navy men.
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Oops, my bad...I've got coochie on the brain. A guy isn't a man til he's earned his Red Wings.
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
christine, I may be one of the few who doesn't wish to earn their red wings. I just take a break for a few! A woman friend who I greatly respect once joked to me, "You don't want to ever fuck over women if at all possible! I've never met a man who can bleed for a week every month and survive!" I took those words to heart and appreciated the advice!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:00pm.
I've heard of some women who get off on sexy times during their snatch tax. Especially having the oral done to them.
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When Obama wins, please let someone bust out "Paint the Whitehouse Black" during his acceptance speech. Please God, Please!
If she was so in love with her "natural" blonde hair, why was she looking to bleach it in the first place?
I am surprised that something this stupid makes the news and we actually comment on it...I know, slow news day.
Can someone get a DUI, get knocked up, or get caught sucking dick near a urinal?...so that we have something juicier to talk about than this dumb twat.
LMAO Clarisse! Funny bitch.
Dr. D! Yikes! That's a hell of a job to have. Kuddos to you.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Todo el rato que está enojado, pierde de estar contento.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on October 8, 2008 - 3:02pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:00pm.
no, I meant ALL of them would do it to me, regardless... hahhaaaa navy men.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
wtf am I walking into? do I want to be here?
heehee
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"
Submitted by christine the hoff on October 8, 2008 - 3:00pm.
LCT
I've heard they're out there, but I have yet to have been with a man who didn't mind having sex when I was paying my monthly snatch tax.
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Obviously never dated a Navy man. We're only in port so long, gotta take what the weather gives ya.
Besides, there's other places on your bod to play...as the great Tater Salad said...they don't close the whole amusement park if the roller coaster is broke down!
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
Submitted by Clarisse on October 8, 2008 - 2:57pm.
Get me at both ends!
Is it hot in here??
Jeffro,
I would sooo underline the fuck scenes for you!
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You must worship the ground I walk on! LOL
Both ends...I thought that was mandatory?!? You don't go to Disneyland and only hit up one ride!
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
Dr. Destructo!
Right! Listen to Dr. Spengler and don't cross the streams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
LCT
I've heard they're out there, but I have yet to have been with a man who didn't mind having sex when I was paying my monthly snatch tax.
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Amen, Motherfucker.
Get me at both ends!
Is it hot in here??
Jeffro,
I would sooo underline the fuck scenes for you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."