So She's Not Knocked Up?

TT99's Other helpful contraceptives:

Girl on top during sex
Jumping up and down right after sex (the girl)
Anal
Oral
And of course, doing it the first time, no one EVER gets pregnant then!
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"Get back to your nerd box and do your job." - Lincoln Burrows

Thanks, Topanga! I never knew peeing on a stick could bring such joy. I don't think I've ever been so thrilled in my life.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

CindyC did you just made that shit up? lol... OMG that's funny!!

Green is Good, I think Lynne would be positively salivating at the idea of fresh new generation piggy banks squealing in the background! Especially if they were girls!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken

Duhhhhhhhhh, everyone knows you can't get pregnant if you don't swallow.

Submitted by TITS on October 8, 2008 - 1:15pm.

The morning after pill only works for 72 hours after unprotected sex, at which point there's no way on Earth you could ever know you're pregnant within that time. Just sayin'.

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

bottles of Dr. Bronner's soap used to list "contraceptive" as one of its many uses. I think they took that off.
I rember always thinking that was weird/funny.

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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by Big L on October 8, 2008 - 1:18pm.

That's because they didn't tell her crazy ass Jamie Lynne was pregnant. Or they tried to call her, and her phone was always dead. Remember that crazy shit? She'd go through thousands of phones because some stalkers always ended up with her number and Sam would turn them off. Creepy shit.

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on October 8, 2008 - 1:32pm.
Submitted by TOPANGA on October 8, 2008 - 1:29pm.

Or you've been told you can't conceive ala my husband & me. We hadn't used protection in years. It was a happy surprise, though!

LOL..drama queen, alright I'll let you slide...that's awesome. Congrats!

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

M.E. was it Vegas? I would have been checking for a new Mexican stamp on her passport. Gepetto Jamie probably has an aborto doc on retainer and on speed dial at this point! His daughters are like cats in heat that are always trying to sneak out a door whenever they hear some Tom cat wallering outside in the alley.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken

I'll bet Mommy Lynne dragged JL by the goddamn hair to the clinic.

how we make babees mamma?

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Amen, Motherfucker.

Submitted by TOPANGA on October 8, 2008 - 1:29pm.

Or you've been told you can't conceive ala my husband & me. We hadn't used protection in years. It was a happy surprise, though!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

Submitted by Salem13 on October 8, 2008 - 1:25pm.

So Idiocracy really wasn't a comedy, but a movie about the future....present?
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OMG yes! It's my bible!

♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy

What are some other ways for teens not to get pregnant, Are there nore ways?
My friend told me, Right after her and her boyfriend have had sex and she knows that heh came in her she drinks vinegar right away and I don't thinks vinegar works, or does it.
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Now that explains the high teen pregnancy rates among rednecks, doesn't it? I *thinks* so.

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Proof that Phoebe Price is over 35.
She's running for US President!!!
http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Phoebe&last=Price

Uggghh, didn't she just have that baby a like 3 months ago? Aren't you suppose to wait a while before doing the nasty again? If you get pregnant in 2008 its because of one of 3 things

1. You want to
2. Your an idiot
3. You don't know how babies are made

There is too much contreception out there to "accidently" be getting knocked up. Yes, I know sometimes the pill f**s you over anyways, but still...

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

haha this king sized slut in my high school told me her effective form of birth control was to blast water into her vajayjay with a shower head after sex....

lol.

Submitted by Dr. Destructo on October 8, 2008 - 1:26pm.
I wonder if she went to wherever it was her sister had Adscum's goateed fetus sucked out of?
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Has JL recently been to Vegas?

That is where Shitters had her's done.

Bradi - Yes, the old D&C. This mistake didn't come with a big buck, hush money payout like Maddie, so.....

I wonder if she went to wherever it was her sister had Adscum's goateed fetus sucked out of?
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken

So Idiocracy really wasn't a comedy, but a movie about the future....present?

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So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Anthony Bourdain

Of course she'll deny. She's trying to save what, if any, may be left of her career.

Remember Shitney denied when she was pregnant with JJ, denied and denied up till she announced it on Letterman, even though it was completely obvious she was pregnant.

Rinse and repeat here.

hehehehe

A long time ago in the Village Voice someone wrote into the sex advice column.

"I am very flexible and can perform oral sex on myself. My question is, if I swallow my ejaculate, can I give myself AIDS?"

Regardless of JL's obvious Spearsy trashiness, I always think she looks really cute and natural. She always dresses like an unassuming teenager (apart from the LV bag of course!). She seems young and not old for her years at all. Shame the fact she's a mother rather disproves my theory but there you go!

it is so weird all the nutty ideas that have come back since the religious folk have forbidden teaching sex ed. I can understand why, before birth control pills had been invented, people came up with some of this stuff (which we used to laugh about; wondering how anyone ever believed it). now there are methods that really do work, why don't people use them?

of course none of this applies to britney or jamie lynn since they spent a lot of their time making money for lynn instead of going to school. so you would think she would take upon herself to let them in on how things work.

Someone told me in high school (18 years ago) to drink vingegar to pass my drug test. LMAO, needless to say it didn't work. Hey, I was fourteen what can I say?

JLo answers says: NOT vinegar; drink designer water, preferably "Glacier".
<|;>

Ha! I missed this but that was the thing people tried when I was in High School. Yeah, they were idiots and I doubt it ever worked!
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Submitted by M.E. on October 8, 2008 - 1:14pm:
"I remember when I was in HS some dumb twat said that if you didn't want to get pregnant, shake up a bottle of coke and shoot it up your vag after sex.

Yes, she was an idiot."

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'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars...
-Nickelback, "Rockstar"

Submitted by WTF on October 8, 2008 - 1:09pm.

"impeachable source?" who?

I was wondering what the hell that means.

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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!

M.E. on October 8, 2008 - 1:14pm.

I'll just believe she went and had an abortion.

- EXACTAMUNDO!
(in my Fonzie voice)

...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...

I love Yahoo Answers, once someone posted in trash English where the Russians were, because they lived in the state of Georgia.

Submitted by Mel-Tang on October 8, 2008 - 1:11pm.

yeah, well, my SIL (the Einstein that she is) claims she didn't know, at 32 YRS. OLD, that she could get preggers with a baby while on antibiotics.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Quite the opposite - anti-biotics lessen the effectiveness of bc pills. Her dr should have told her that when prescribing them.

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Change just brings problems - Doug

So, the Enquirer states that she got knocked up 4 weeks after having Maddie.

That means this bitch didn't listen to the doc when he said no sexy time for 6-8 weeks.

Idiot.

I figured I'd see her in a white hood sooner or later.

Nietzsche Family Circus:

http://www.losanjealous.com//nfc/

No MK, they have it all wrong! You're supposed to use the Vinegar as a Douche after sex so you don't get pregnant! Or substitute Vinegar for Coca Cola!

Well that's what they used to say back in High School. :P

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'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars...
-Nickelback, "Rockstar"

The "impeachable source" was probably Shitney....remember last fall when she denied denied denied to the paps that her little sister wasn't pregnant???

An "impeachable source" tells TMZ that JL is not knocked up. Damn. Personally, I won't believe it either way until I hear it from the uterus' mouth.
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Bill Clinton is commenting on JL Spears?!?

♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy

Comment on the yahoo answers site:

Please don't listen to your friends any more.
If, God Forbid, you do get pregnant (accidents do happen - a LOT), go and get the "morning after pill" as soon as you can - I mean hurry!

You should be able to do a search for "Family Planning" centres and a nice lady will sort you out.

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Change just brings problems - Doug

I'll just believe she went and had an abortion. You know this redneck was too stupid to use birth control, a second time.

And, that Yahoo answer - WTF? Are our children THAT fucking clueless and stupid?

I remember when I was in HS some dumb twat said that if you didn't want to get pregnant, shake up a bottle of coke and shoot it up your vag after sex.

Yes, she was an idiot.

Now she'll be wondering if you can get pregnant after an abortion.

Yeah, but she's prolly dumb enough to get knocked up! Someone needs to crop dust the various Spears compounds with some sort of aerosolized birth control compounds. For public safety purposes, of course.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken

These stupid bitchez need to watch "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

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RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by WTF on October 8, 2008 - 1:09pm.
"impeachable source?" who?

Bill Clinton?

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RIMADYL KILLS

Does no one pull out anymore?!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

What are some other ways for teens not to get pregnant, Are there nore ways?
My friend told me, Right after her and her boyfriend have had sex and she knows that heh came in her she drinks vinegar right away and I don't thinks vinegar works, or does it.
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That's just scary. And that's why I can't believe people still object to having sex ed taught in school.

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If I have an addiction to anything, it's sparklers. Round come 4th of July, you're gonna find me taking sparklers off a perp, giving him a ticket, and then I'm gonna go in my backyard with my cats and we're gonna

And shouldn't that be "unimpeachable source" to convey validity?

yeah, well, my SIL (the Einstein that she is) claims she didn't know, at 32 YRS. OLD, that she could get preggers with a baby while on antibiotics.

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by WTF on October 8, 2008 - 1:09pm.
"impeachable source?" who?

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Didn't Adnan work for TMZ?

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Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

It won't be long before she, too, flips her wig (pun intended) and needs an intervention.

Translation:
Appointment at the "Clinic" confirmed.

...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...