If Beyonce Was A Boy

Beyonce has a new song out and it's called "If I Were A Boy." I think the working title was "Tommy Girl's Anthem." The song is about if she was a boy, she'd drink beer, chase girls and turn off her phone so that everyone would think its broken. WTF?! She's speaking from experience. That's probably what she tells Solange, "Girl! My phone is broken. That's why I didn't get your call!"

If Beyonce was a boy, would she whisper more, because she screams through a lot of this song. And if she was a boy, she would have the biggest power bottom bubble butt ever. Sorry, Gay Al.

I don't mind the song so much. It's borderline musical theater and good for nap times (sans the fucking screaming). I like it even more when I change the lyrics to: "If I were a girl, I'd play with my chichis....."

And click here to listen to another Beyonce song called "Single Ladies." I quit that bitch after 30 seconds. The sound of pots banging and cats wailing is not what I need right now.

Posted by: Michael K

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Beyonce

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:12am.

I drink beer with the guys...and I'm a girl.

Fuck yeah!

Beyonce sucks.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:12am.

If I were a boy I would roll out of bed
Yank on my wank while in shower

Slap around that old cow when she starts naggin
Cause I know she secretly wants it

If I were a boy I would fuck some skanks
Be a babby daddy and not pay my support
Then go on Muary

Blech!

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When Obama wins, please let someone bust out "Paint the Whitehouse Black" during his acceptance speech. Please God, Please!

Submitted by Justina on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:10am.

Solange might have the last laugh after all.

Submitted by LoLo on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:06am.

I hate her god damn head banging dancing!

What a freak throwing her self around like that.

I did not enjoy the site of her dimpled ass on the beach either.

BOOOOOOOOO

Having said that, if she WERE a boy id kick her in da nutz!

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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by BellaDiva on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:06am.

I like it. Men often do take women for granted

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:04am.

I don't even wanna hear it!

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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.

http://www.myspace.com/triston

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:04am.

I disagree. I don't think B is done. I still like a lot of her stuff....minus "Ring The Alarm" though.

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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 11:03am.

mmmm whaaaa yawn, I think I fell asleep at my desk. I like Ciara's version better.
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"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."